Donnerstag, 14. Juni 2012

Day 42. Self-Honesty : Self Relationship the Starting-Point for Life

I am walking the process of investigating my relationships and how I have throughout my life defined myself through my relationships, through perception, through value-judgments, through trying to 'find' and 'fulfill' and 'complete' myself in separation from myself -

until now where I realize that the relationships we form toward others are always according to our own relationship toward ourselves - which is in fact missing, therefore SELF is always missing, thus why trying to 'find' self out there somewhere in relationships of 'partnership', 'spirituality', 'religion', 'technology', 'money': all relationships we form in separation from ourselves, hoping and expecting they will deliver us the 'missing link' - when in fact that 'missing link' has always been here as ourselves.

Last night I listened to some interviews (*see links at the bottom) that take on exactly this point - discussing with great clarity and simplicity essentials on the Mind, Consciousness Development, Children and Parenting, Relationships, Human Nature, Mind-Control, the World-System / Money-system. What is definitely coming through is the understanding of the process that is being walked in the face of the manifested consequences we each one individually and all collectively as mankind on Earth face.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to establish an intimate relationships with myself to get to know and live and direct the entirety of me in self-awareness –
because I submitted to the 'ways of the world' and adopted the filters and systems this world consciousness use to communicate and operate: but within this, we are only communicating through and as the systems of this world; we are not communicating ourselves, we are not communicating our beingness, we are not getting to know the beingness of ourselves and each-other, of our world, this physical existence;

Instead, we are each armed with the knowledge and information as the value-judgments and belief-systems of our kin, our culture, our society, our generation, our ideology, our fears and desires which are formed according to the fears and desires of those who have gone before us, ingrained through and as the unconscious mind throughout our childhood years, where we were still in the process of 'falling' from life and into the 'sin' that is this world consciousness;
And so we are the ‘fallen gods’ of this creation that have abdicated our responsibility and our authority as life to systems of separation, self-interest and profit, in spite of the evidence that we are doing so at the cost of life.

What is fascinating to understand is that the world matrix, which is often seen as a program, is actually also a creation.
And even though it is OUR creation, we fail to acknowledge it as such, we refuse to see that we are existing in the image and likeness of the system matrix, because we do not dare to get to know ourselves and how we function as consciousness, how our thoughts, experiences and definitions are created, and how we have been but FOLLOWERS:

as our existence has basically been that of acceptance and allowance, accepting and allowing the dominion of the world system consciousness over life, accepting and allowing our submission to the ways of the world, accepting and allowing ourselves to give up on ourselves as life for the sake of survival, accepting and allowing our inferiority, powerlessness and helplessness as a reaction toward the world system, while we become the same parents to ourselves that our parents have been to us:
distracting ourselves with pretty things and rushes of experiences to keep us preoccupied and 'comfortably numb' so that we may never question THEM, never question the WAYS of the WORLD, never question ourselves and ‘human nature’, never question the collective acceptances and allowances ingrained and manifested through the accumulation of knowledge and information throughout time.

And yet we can see that no amount of knowledge and information is opening a door to actual self-realization and the enlightenment of the human race into self-willed equals of life that stand as custodians of our home planet and life on earth.
On the contrary, we have managed to divide and conquer this world to such an extent, that life has become about survival competition for resources, through the exploitation of life, the planet and each-other within a system of profit, self-interest, greed, separation.

The system and the human exist trapped within an interconnected creation-loop, fuelled by the friction of polarities, both within and without:
wherein the system creates the human through 'education' and 'belief' and the human re-creates the system through the ‘human nature’ of fear and inferiority, existing in denial while pursuing self-interest and 'personal enlightenment' through the mind (MINEd), refusing to acknowledge its deliberate blindness and unawareness of the billions of individual cells in the One physical body of Cellf that are working together, breathing together, sustaining the life that the mind-consciousness is feeding-on in its quest for the fulfilment of its own self-created delusions, supported by the world system of capitalism, consumerism and profit.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself as life and submit myself to a system of life-abuse through competition, comparison, fear, survival and other abominations of our interpretation of reality through the mind consciousness in separation from life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the process of relationship-creation of this world as we know it, within that accepting the illusion of being a truth-seeker, not realizing that there exists no separate truth 'out there somewhere'; the truth is right here and has always been here, within and as who we are, reflected and revealed to us in this world that is our mirror, yet we refuse to see and acknowledge and realize responsibility for who we are and what this creation has been and become.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek myself and search for 'fulfilment' and 'completeness' within and through relationships of sex, religion, spirituality, science, knowledge and information – not realizing the self-separation this implies.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to establish a self-honest relationship with me as the starting-point of my existence and experience; and to realize that I as a physical-being was born into this world without knowledge and information, without filters of interpretation and perception, without value-judgments of polarity, without fear.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it was only through my submission to the 'education' of this world that I formed opinions, judgments, fears and desires about myself and my world, as I started forming a picture of myself with a value-judgment based on the references presented to me as pictures connected to words and energetic experiences, which I then utilized to develop "my logic" and to program my beliefs, emotional-experience patterns and response-reactions that formed the "me" that I have become as self-consciousness of this world-system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a system of this world, playing the game of polarity and participating in power-games both within my mind and in my interactions, in my quest to 'complete' and 'fulfil' the 'value' of my self-image as a picture in the eyes of the world perceived through the filters and veils of consciousness based on polarity value-judgments, comparison and competition for survival –
all the while disregarding myself as a physical being, refusing to approach reality from the starting-point of getting to know myself as a physical body that is revealing the signs and outflows of its submission to the mental dictatorship.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am a physical body in this physical existence, born into this world without mind-consciousness, formed from substance of the physical through the fusion of two physical bodies, returning to the dust of the earth with no mind-consciousness remaining.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to get to know intimately and communicate with: the very substance from which I originate, to get to know intimately and communicate with: myself AS the very substance from which I was formed and as which I was physically expressing when I was a baby, moving and sounding and expressing self but to no avail, as my environment had already long forgotten the sound of life and had only perceptual means through which to approach me;
and thus I submitted, as we all do, to the programs and matrices presented to me in my environment, slowly but surely giving up on myself as life, compromising my expression and my beingness in order to become equal to and one with the world consciousness so that I can survive in what we call 'life'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for and expect intimacy and understanding in my relationships, when I haven't yet developed and established such intimacy and understanding within myself with my very beingness in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to be and become the 'parent' I would like to have had; the 'support' I’d wish from my environment; the 'intimacy' I’d expect from the partner –

because only when I investigate and explore and establish actual intimacy, understanding, support as Living Words, for me: will I be able to live it with another equally, communicate as it with another equally, give and receive it as an actual self-expression, as an expansion of self-realization, both within the depths of my beingness and equally in my world with other human beings;

and only within this/such starting-point will we be able to create actual relationships of intimacy, depth, seeing, understanding, caring and supporting, beyond the veils of personalities and defence-mechanisms of consciousness, beyond the separation of the minds, but in equality and oneness of and as the physical reality - the actuality of ourselves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the mind consciousness never presents the actuality of reality; it only presents the perceptual reality as conditioned into an energetic entity as self-consciousness, programmed in separation from the value of life and into survival, self-interest, self-delusion.

And that within and as such programmed self-consciousness, we are in fact compromising ourselves as life, we are compromising our right to life and self-creation, as we end-up FOLLOWING the acceptances and allowances we have subjected ourselves to and given permissions for throughout our lives in unawareness.

Therefore, it is to investigate all our acceptances and allowances in self-honesty, from the conscious to the subconscious to the unconscious - so that we may bring all points that determine our existence to our awareness and amalgamate all as one and equal, taking responsibility for the entirety of ourselves and our creation and becoming the directive principle of ourselves as life;

no longer FOLLOWING the auto-pilot of consciousness that only ever loops in cycles of fear/inferiority and superiority/dominion, while we abdicate our actual power as life to systems in the name of 'power' as defined through consciousness, manifesting the exploitation and abuse we are witnessing in our world and, if we dare look, equally within ourselves: our secret mind as backchat, internal conversations, inner conflicts, self-sabotage, self-compromise, blame and spite toward others, and essentially the failure to stand-up within ourselves and live self-responsibility for our creation which is ourselves.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we interpret the physical as 'sin', when in fact the 'sin' is the mental alienation towards and separation from the physical that we are accepting and allowing through and as consciousness; wherein we try to become 'more than' the physical through the mind –
instead of standing equal to and one with the physical and understanding creation, ourselves and each-other at an actual physical reality level in common sense, beyond the filters, veils and limitations of the mental/consciousness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where religion/ spirituality/ belief-systems is used to distract us from ourselves/creation/reality, so that we may only exist as consciousness keeping the system running and never question the ways of the world, never investigate our own 'evil ways' that we hide in the secret mind where we believe no one can see and no one can know.

I commit myself to challenging myself and my world with the realization that at the end of time, all will be known; and that in fact everything is always not, yet we refuse to state the obvious.
Therefore the question each must ask self in every moment is: Will I be able to stand in the face of everything as who I am in this moment without shame, without regret, without hiding? Am I in this very moment the best I can be in self-honesty? Or am I compromising myself and all life equally?

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that any and all self-compromise we accept within ourselves: we allow within others equally - and within that we are compromising life, compromising the whole, enslaving everything and everyone to OUR lowest point of existence.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving the lowest points of my existence, embracing it all as my creation, as me, and standing-up from the lowest of low to redeem myself as life and stand in self-equality and oneness to care for and support myself as life - so that I may be a living example of self-dignity as the dignity we want to establish as Life on Earth, that Life may become Heaven on Earth for ALL that is HERE.

I commit myself to applying and sharing the urgent necessity of establishing a self-honest relationship with self; because it is only from this starting-point that we'll be able to equally establish honest, intimate, actual relationships with other human beings, nature, the animal-kingdom, this physical existence.

I commit myself to establishing a self-honest relationship with myself, as I walk through the nitty-gritty of who and how I have become, through a process of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective living - so that I may walk myself out of the conditioned consciousness that manifests this world as we know it, and into life as equality and oneness through living words in self-actualization as life, in the context of this one reality we all share.

Therefore, I commit myself to realizing and showing that the common sense we have been missing is to be seen in the physical reality, within our relationship with Self and equally with the World –
and that both the world and our physical body is already showing us the manifested consequences of our existence:

all we need to do is become self-honest and start communicating the actuality of reality, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective living - so that we may re-educate ourselves and create a new foundation for life based on the VALUE OF LIFE.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that the value of life is life, and that we have separated ourselves from the value of life and conceived alternate and false 'values' that have formed the foundation of the world as we know it, the framework of our enslavement within and without.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that though each-one must 'change' within and as self in getting oneself ‘back to earth’ and dealing with what has been denied and suppressed to self-realize our beingness, it is not enough if only self change –
but that it will take all parts of the whole awakening to the realization that Life is Here but we haven't been here, we have been separated into alternate realities in a consciousness matrix that has brought forth only conflict, separation, fear and devastation; it will take all parts of the whole awakening to the realization that what we've been looking for is ourselves, what we've been waiting for is ourselves, and that we cannot afford waiting any longer.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that we must stand together and work together as One group = Life - in assisting ourselves and each-other to self-realize life as the physical, as self-creation, in self-responsibility; no longer serving false idols of consciousness in separation from life.

and that it will take agreements in self-honesty as life to transform the abusive nature of relationships as we've evolved them in our consciousness and our world, it will take courage and self-will to step out of the woes of relationships and stop our addictions, dependencies and delusions –
to practically realize and live the interconnectedness of life as self-willed equals, establishing ways of practical living that will redeem life on earth and bring forth a new way of life, a new system of actual life-support that will care for and honor all life equally based on the value of life.


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