Sonntag, 30. November 2014

Day 528 | Walking Self Forgiveness for Fearing I’m not Good Enough





Continuing from my previous post
<<...‘Seeing self through the eyes of others’ and the ‘fear of not being good enough’ are highly related to the experience/feeling of Insecurity that every one knows/has experienced. What is interesting, is how our Insecurity is connected to our perceptions of ‘Authority’, which can be seen in my above examples where self looks at self through the eyes of others, within this giving “the others” authority to determine and define self.>>

Now – From my previous bog post we can pinpoint some main fears: the fear of what other people will think of self and how other people will see self and how other people will value or judge self.
That’s where also for instance the fear of making mistakes, the fear of losing, the fear of ridicule comes from – “because how will that look in the eyes of people” and “what will that say about me”. 

So – is it really fear of ‘not being good enough’, or is it fear of not being seen as good enough by other people? Because within self, one may very well Know one is ‘good’ and capable, and that which is not good: one can change. So what purpose does the fear serve really?

The ‘fear of not being good enough’ one can approach simplistically by supporting oneself in becoming as good as one would like to be, in developing one’s skills and talents, one’s relationships in the world, making one’s life/living most effective, living to one’s full potential. We don’t do that.

Instead we look at others and think/believe we see in others this or that and we feel like this or like that – using others to ‘define’ ourselves, using others to for instance seek/get a feeling of acceptance or of appreciation or of respect, while we did not consider to first give it to ourselves, live it, find out what it is, before we even consider expecting it from others.
Within this, we create the fear of being seen as ‘not good enough’ – culture (and esp. the ‘consumer culture’ of/as the world system) plays a major role here too – and we make ourselves and our own value and worth subject to ideas in our mind /to “others” to define, to determine, to direct.

So the challenge here is for self to accept the responsibility of being ‘the one’ who determines Who I Am and determines the worth and value of oneself /one’s life = through one’s inner awareness alignment AND through one’s outer participation, behavior, and relationships in one’s world.
I mean we always define/determine who we are – whether that ‘happens’ through our acceptance and allowance or whether it is self defined/created in awareness.
The latter is obviously preferable, and is what I’m talking about when it comes to things like self-realization, awakening, etc.


So, the fear of other people seeing self as ‘not good enough’ can be directed by simply taking self-responsibility and no-longer accepting or allowing self to define self in/as reaction to “other people”; as well as by self-honestly living up to one’s responsibilities and being in fact ‘good enough’ as in doing what needs to be done, taking a stance to the best of one’s knowledge, understanding, and ability in that moment.

See – sometimes we even tend to go into an entire obsession/possession in our minds with fear, in fear making ourselves in-fearior, through submitting to the energetic experience of fear, contracting even more, participating in thoughts and internal conversations in, so much so that the ‘fearful character’ becomes alive so to speak. Then literally one’s fear as energy is becoming-alive – the Fearful Character – and then in that moment (while self is taking a back seat and allowing fear to ‘take over’) fear is ‘the one’ that acts out, that directs, behaves, makes decisions, because – “I, ‘fear’, must survive, I must be right, look how small I am, and what if I lose, what if I am not appreciated, oh no, I need more control, let me think, I need more energy, let me think, yes I must control it, but oh I’m so small, I must protect myself, I must keep myself alive blablabla” (says the Fearful Character) – and then there’s all the physical tension experiences and all the thoughts and beliefs that in one’s mind will ‘explain it all’ and ‘justify’ the fear to exist, so the self as ‘character’ can continue holding-onto and existing-as all those self-limiting ideas and perceptions of/about self. Fascinating.

So then obviously one requires to look also at self-beliefs of not being ‘good enough’ – this comes with the realization that all judgments I project and expect/fear as coming from “others”, I am actually already holding within myself/my mind – and to look at where and how and not least WHY am I holding such beliefs and ideas ‘alive’ and within that keep myself limited?
All those ‘fears’ around not being ‘good enough’ are interconnected, all have to do with ideas/beliefs of ‘value’ in polarity – seeking for ‘more value’/’superior value’ and fear of having one’s value ‘devalued’/’degraded’ as in ‘inferior’.

But where is the value of life as life?

I commit myself to stop devaluing and degrading myself – to identify where/when/how I devalue/degrade myself in my mind and also in my everyday living/participation, and to in those moments practice Stopping this self-sabotage and moving my awareness from self-diminishment /self-limitation – to the physical me here in awareness and self-support / constructive-living;
and practically within this I Live self-worth as life, self-respect, self-honesty, where the value is placed in life and living.
And when I support myself to live my full potential, more and more releasing and letting go of the limitations, and to live harmoniously and constructively with my environment and relationships, I can then say that I am ‘good enough’ as a human being in evolution, individual and collective.


In terms of re-defining words, I see here an interesting ‘exercise’/‘exorcise’ that can be enacted, lol, as follows:

Good
[charged with ‘positive energy’ eg. patterns of seeking ‘acceptance’ / ‘validation’ / ‘appreciation’ etc.]
Enough
[stop – can’t take any more – the cup is full]

>> Here I can then see that it is possible and perhaps wise to completely let go of and exorcise lol as in release ourselves from the idea/definition/term ‘good enough’!
For within this very expression a limitation is entailed: nothing more is expected, which excludes the possibility of anything more/new being possible – even though the possibility may in fact exist and something more may be possible. Get my drift? How would progress and evolution look like if it were just ‘good enough’ and not extraordinarily magnificent, perfection to the detail?

Well, human consciousness appears to be in the process of becoming an evolution in awareness, so let’s do our best, within and without, individually and collectively.



In this context:







For support in Un_plugging check out the Desteni I Process Lite – FREE online course that will assist humanity to change the human condition and end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness. 




You may be interested in the daily process blogs that people from around the world share, check it out:


Join us in the Journey to Life !


*To participate & share perspectives visit the Forum

*For support in self empowerment visit desteniIprocess

*Visit @eqafe for educational downloadables, life-changing perspectives, music & much more...
...as well as loads of free stuff that you'll definitely enjoy : )

 



Activists!

Make sure to check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal @ the Equal Life Foundation  a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.

Day 527 | Walking Self-Forgiveness for Seeing Self through the Eyes of Others


AndrewGable ART


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see myself through the eyes of “the others” – through how I think and believe the others perceive me.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to measure my worth and my value through the eyes of others.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is my own insecurities that I’m facing through “others” which is actually through my own thoughts about others - and that thus I can actually look at what I think I see and realize: it is I who hasn’t given myself the worth and value, hasn’t established within myself worth and value as life,  and thus I haven’t accepted worth and value as myself, as I had not yet realized until now that I in accepting that the value is life and that the worth must be self-worth to be real, I see now that I can form and establish my worth and value through how I live and who/how I am within myself and in my relationship with my mind. I am able to ‘take back’ the value and worth which I have separated from myself and attached to ideas in my mind or to other people and other people’s behavior to tell me who I am and ‘how much’ I am worth, and whether I am ‘good enough’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within the want/need/desire to ‘be good enough’ and in a state of seeking/trying to be ‘good enough’/’more’/’perfect’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make my self-worth dependent on others, thus within that giving away my responsibility and expecting /waiting for others to determine my worth/value.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself ‘through the eyes of others’ and to within that manifest a fear of ‘being not good enough’ or ‘losing value’, fear of ‘making mistakes’ or ‘fear of failure’, worrying about how others will see/perceive/judge me.
I forgive myself that I hadn’t yet allowed myself to let go of self-judgment within myself, and to stop fearing “other people’s” judgment, because it is only through my own acceptance that such judgment can have an influence on me.

Therefore I commit myself to Stop wanting/needing/desiring/trying to ‘be good enough’ and be ‘accepted’/’appreciated’ by “others” and instead I simply accept that I am here and that life is the value. I determine by myself (=in self-responsibility) for myself ‘what I am worth’, through how I live and who/how I decide to be, what I stand for. Therefore I realize that self-worth is here as me, I can live it within myself, I do not need/require others to tell me I am ‘worthy’.
Thus I make the decision to release myself from defining myself ‘through the eyes of others’ and to stop the fear of ‘being not good enough’ or ‘losing value’, stop the fear of ‘making mistakes’ or ‘fear of failure’, stop worrying how others will see me – and simply LIVE the way I would like to see myself living, as best for me, as life.

‘Seeing self through the eyes of others’ and the ‘fear of not being good enough’ are highly related to the experience/feeling of Insecurity that every one knows/has experienced. What is interesting, is how our Insecurity is connected to our perceptions of ‘Authority’, which can be seen in my above examples where self looks at self through the eyes of others, within this giving “the others” authority to determine and define self.

I see, realize and understand that expecting/wanting/needing “others” to tell me /show me that I am ‘worthy’ is me giving away my responsibility and thus my power to “others” – instead of realizing that what I project unto/as “others” is a part of myself that I require to integrate, take responsibility for, and express/direct.
I make the decision to value myself and find ways to practically live self-support/self-care/self-valuing, to stop sabotaging myself with ideas of superiority-inferiority as in ideas of ‘good enough’ in my mind.



Here obviously each one walking through such process must self investigate and look at how do I see 'me' through the eyes of others, what polarities (positive/negative) exist within MY mind about MYSELF, where do they come from, and do they really serve me, do they really serve my decision to live my full potential as life?
The more SPECIFIC we are in looking at and identifying the polarities that are involved in the (mind-)'game' which we've accepted and allowed to define our reality - the more EFFECTIVE we will be changing it!
 




In this context:





 
For support check out the Desteni I Process Lite – FREE online course that will assist humanity to change the human condition and end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness. 





You may be interested in the daily process blogs that people from around the world share, check it out:


Join us in the Journey to Life !


*To participate & share perspectives visit the Forum

*For support in self empowerment visit desteniIprocess

*Visit @eqafe for educational downloadables, life-changing perspectives, music & much more...
...as well as loads of free stuff that you'll definitely enjoy : ) 





Activists!

Make sure to check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal @ the Equal Life Foundation  a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.