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| ART by Andrew Gable |
In the process of re-defining
words and investigating the words I live as to their meaning and thus their
influence on self, I am today looking at my relationship with TIME, especially
in the light of having observed a family member’s relationship to time and how
this person created for themselves a life of stress, lack of energy, anxiety
and depression, all outcomes of just one relationship: the relationship to Time
and how one deals with Time.
I will unfold this
point through self-forgiveness in writing, as this is how I walked the point in
real-time the moment I noticed that I was having an energetic
experience/reaction within myself as soon as an extra task was added to my
schedule.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself think and believe that “I don’t have enough
time”.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to waste time and breath in thinking all kinds
of thoughts ‘justifying’ why “there is not enough time”.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to make-belief a perception of “there is not
enough time”, within this making TIME ‘more than’ me, and making me ‘inferior’ to
time.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a state of mind where I
am ‘busy’ catching-up, keeping-up, running after time, in essence racing
against time –
While I haven’t
allowed myself to see, realize and understand that time is all I have, as time
is measure in breath, and every breath I take is a moment in time that is ‘my
time’ as ‘my life’ until my last breath will bring my death which will be the ‘end
of my time’.
Within this thus I
forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stand equal to and one with
Time, as every breath I take, realizing that I can only do what I can do in one
breath a time, and thus there is no point in ‘thinking’ about time, ‘running
after’ time, ‘chasing’ time or even ‘racing against’ time.
I forgive myself that
I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that racing against
time is a race against myself – and that a race against myself is a race I can
never win.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create a fear towards time, fearing to lose
time, fearing that I am losing time, fearing that there is not enough time –
all the while within such application and by accepting/allowing fear to conquer
me and to determine my relationship with time: I am in fact wasting time and
breath and am thus not honoring the time given to me as Life on this earth.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create and exist within an energetic
‘rush’, whenever I think and believe I have to rush because “there is not
enough time”, within this not only wasting time and breath but also straining
my physical body and creating instability within my mind.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to connect the word time to ‘lack’, wherein I
perceive, believe and experience that I ‘lack’ time, and therefore I place
myself into a state of mind where I try to ‘find’ more time, while at the same
time I waste time in thinking about time and feeding the belief that “there is
not enough time”.
I forgive myself that
I’ve accepted and allowed myself to connect physical movement in time with the
generation of energetic movement within myself – based on memories of the past
wherein I was taken to school by my parents and I was late and I didn’t like to
be late, as that created within me anxiety and a fear about how my being late
will be perceived by other children and the teachers.
Therefore I forgive
myself that I haven’t allowed myself to let go of that connection to ‘time’ and
‘stress’, and to teach myself how to move in real-time, in the physical, breath
by breath, step by step, without rushing to get ahead of time as I realize that
is impossible: time is always here, as the moment that is here, and I am always
here as the breath I take in every moment – and thus it is possible to walk one
and equal to/as time in every moment.
I forgive myself that
I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all I have to do
and all I can do is deal with every moment the moment it is here, deal with
that which presents itself in every moment – and that if I do that to the best
of my ability, if I give every moment my all, then the perception of “there is
not enough time” will have no place.
I commit
myself to, when and as I find myself within an energetic reaction as ‘rush’, to
stop and breathe, and to slow myself down, reminding myself that I cannot chase
after time, that time is here as I am here, and therefore I commit myself to
assist and support myself to walk here, breath by breath, moment by moment,
step by step.
I commit myself to
schedule my time as effective as possible, at the same realizing that a
flexibility is vital in terms of adjusting myself and my time with every new
moment as necessary – within this allowing space for life’s unexpected events,
and letting go of the want/need/desire that I have programmed in mind to
control everything, thinking and believing that if I can control everything /
control my time, then I will be able to ‘win’ over time, which is stupid and in
fact impossible, because I have no power over time, every next moment is here
and every breath is followed by the next breath, and so I allow myself to flow
with the flow of my breath/breathing, like water, as I see that water can move
even through everything, unless it is contained, in which case water can even
move within itself.
Therefore within this
I also commit myself to stop containing and restricting myself within the
constraints of my mind/consciousness, and to unconditionally let go of and
forgive the belief that “there is not enough time”, as I re4alize that this is
a mental construct that does not support me as life and does not assist me in
LIVING.
I commit myself to
assist and support myself in LIVING here, moving breath by breath, and no
longer allowing myself to place myself ‘inferior’/in-fear-of TIME, as I see and
realize that time is all I have, every breath is all I have, and therefore I
honor my time as life by honoring every breath I take and doing/living/applying
with every breath that which support life, as myself, and my world equally.
I commit myself to
stop the race, stop racing against time and stop racing against myself, and to
instead: assist and support myself in equalizing my time to breath as I walk my
time on this earth, making sure I am here, present in every moment, assisting
and supporting myself in the process of walking myself out of the mind’s
paranoia and into physical-living, equal as one, in self awareness as breath.
More perspectives on Living Words can be seen here:
Day 405: SELF-MOVEMENT - How to Move Self into Fulfillment
Day 162: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | ACCEPTANCE
Day 164: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | PRESENCE
Day 170: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | INTIMACY & FULFILLMENT
Day 171: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | HAPPINESS & JOY
Day 172: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | PATIENCE part1
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