Mittwoch, 12. Juni 2013

407 | Self-Care is not possible without Self-Honesty - Or Why no one will CARE if You don’t

ART by Terhas Tree White

If we have a look at how CARE is defined as a living word in our world/system – how CARE is lived/applied – we can see a peculiar thing: it doesn’t really serve us as life.

Examples can be seen within even the formative years of a child’s life, where care is expressed through finding ways to ‘keep the child happy’ which is in fact about keeping the child quiet and preoccupied, and having the child interfere as little as possible with OUR agendas, OUR plans, OUR time, OUR ‘peace of mind’.

But that is an issue entailing many aspects and dimensions, and it is being walked extensively in Blogs written by parents and parents-to-be who walk this process of self-honesty.

Which brings me to the actual point of this blog, being that: without self-honesty, no actual self-care is possible. Let me demonstrate why through some simple examples.

You know that for instance due to your current condition or schedule, physical movement would do you good and would support you in stabilizing yourself, breathing more, etc. But every time the time is here where you could do some physical exercises or stretch or take a walk in the park, you’ll tell yourself in your mind things like “Oh man I don’t have enough time” or “Oh let me go and buy some sweets first” or “But I haven’t exercised for so long, I’m just not up for it”- and you’ll find in your mind all kinds of reasons and excuses why you will not support yourself as a physical being that has certain requirements for a healthy and stable existence.

Or, say for instance that you have defined yourself through your work to such an extent that you’ve become like a workaholic, and at the end of the day your body is letting you know through various symptoms that it is time to stop whatever it is you are doing and rest, go to bed, have a shower, do some breathing exercises or whatever would support you in resting. But whenever such moment is here, you’ll in your mind find ways to ignore the communication of your body – which is in fact ignoring yourself as a physical being.

Or, say for instance there are certain physical tasks that require to be done with which you will support yourself in your life, be it making some phone calls, arranging appointments, answering emails etc. But you are busy watching movies or playing games, and every time you remember your tasks that you should be taking care of, you tell yourself “Oh just one more movie” or “But I’d actually like to continue playing this game, I just can’t stop” and stuff like that.

What is evident within this is that curiously enough there is a contradiction between what your body needs and requires, what you should be doing and taking care of so as to effectively support yourself in this physical reality – and the wants / needs / desires of your mind.

And ironically enough there is a ‘third’ party within that, which is YOU =
the one that makes the decision in every moment as to what you will do and participate in, and what you will ignore and not participate in.

This brings us to self-honesty

How is it that we care so much for the wants / needs / desires that come-up in our mind – most of which are based on conditioned patterns of consciousness, according to how we have programmed ourselves to ‘cope’ with our reality.

‘Coping’ being the operative word here, because it is through ‘coping’ that we manifest and maintain an existence of ‘survival’- 
the survival of ourselves as consciousness, as the systematic prepgrogrammed robot that merely reacts to triggers as conditioned; and equally through this also the survival of this world system as we know it, which is dependent upon human beings existing as systematic organic robots, keeping the system running, and nothing ever changing.

So – within this also everyone is waiting for everyone and everything else to change first, while the solution obviously is within becoming the directive principle of change, of correction, of transformation – both within and without.

Have a look at how often you’ll think things like “Oh if only that and that point were different in my life, I would be different / my experience of myself would be different” or “if only that and that person would change, then everything would be much better”… We seldom consider being the one to care, being the one taking the initiative and thus becoming the directive principle for change, for transformation, for a ‘better world’ in fact. Because that would mean to start with ourselves – and oh my god we are so fearful of letting go of our petty self-definitions, of our habits and addictions, of our wants, needs and desires the way we have designed them in our mind and integrated them in our body. 

And if we really look at it – what is it all about? It’s about ‘keeping ourselves happy’ which is in fact about keeping ourselves comfortably numb’- in the same way that parents will train their children with rewards to be what and how they want them to be – to fit in, to comply, to obey, to be obedient servants of the little family system to begin with, so that they can be good servant of the System when the time comes…


So it’s fascinating how we strive to emancipate ourselves from out parents, from authority etc. yet at the same time we develop the same kind of authority within our minds as our consciousness, and spend our lives trying to make/keep that consciousness happy, while we care only for the wants / needs / desires that this conditioned consciousness presents us with within the mind.

Fascinating how this point actually really is so obvious, and so simplistic – yet we fail to acknowledge it, we hardly ever ask the question where our thoughts and emotional/feeling reactions come from, where our moods come from, let alone realizing that we are in fact The One that in every moment makes a decision as to what one will support / follow / fulfill.

Therefore, what does this tell us? Real care in this world does not exist. What exists is self-interest and a consciousness that exists like a parasite within/as a state of mind that makes-believe that ignorance is bliss’ and that only seeks its own ‘peace of mind’, regardless the cost and the consequences for others or even one’s own physical body.

A further interesting and vital perspective to see within this – and this can be seen especially within the example of the workaholic that is physically so tired but in spite of the pain or other symptoms the physical body communicates, they will just not stop –

is how the mind/consciousness exploits the physical for its own existence.

If you went to rest or sleep for instance, the mind/consciousness (of eg. the workaholic) would no longer be able to continue ‘working’. But it’s not even about ‘working’, it’s about self-preservation – meaning: the being as consciousness has identified to such an extent with ‘working’, that it’s created like a fear of losing itself / losing its identity if it were to stop ‘working’. So within our existence as consciousness, this can be generalized: wherein we are so defined by our self-definitions as consciousness, through what we ‘do’ and ‘how we are’, what and how we ‘think’ and what we believe, that even questioning all that seems like a threat.

But back to the point I was making:

the consciousness we become uses the resources of the physical body to exist. Without the physical body generating the energy for the consciousness to exist, or should I say to ‘run’, it cannot function. This can be seen clearly within the example of the workaholic for instance.

Now from this point would or should actually arise the question: why do we age, really? Why do we die? Why does death exist? And how come we haven’t yet –despite our ‘great technological advancement’- been able to see, realize and understand the existence of death, even though it is the one thing that is certain the moment we are born?

Many questions arise – and here, self-honesty and common sense would be vital to even start exploring such questions without getting lost in the wants, needs, and desires of consciousness.

To see some of the consequences of how consciousness exists and why for instance such questions about death and the ‘afterlife’ have not yet been answered with clarity, certainty, and insight, please read

To conclude with the point of this post, let it be said that without self-honesty, without knowing and understanding ourselves: we cannot really care for ourselves or each-other, let alone support ourselves as life, and assist ourselves in transcending this paranoid parasitic consciousness that has taken over our existence, within and without.

And – if I am not The One to CARE, for life as myself to begin with, then nobody else will. And we can spend a life time waiting for others to change, waiting for things to change, waiting for the world to change, so that is apparently ‘worth our care’- But, we never cared for ourselves as life in the first place, so why should anyone care FOR us?

Briefly, to re-define CARE from being the systematic ‘fulfillment’ of the wants, needs and desires of the mind/consciousness which only includes the ‘rewards’ we have conditioned ourselves to want/need/desire based on the ‘laws’ and ‘ways’ of the system that formed us –

it is obvious that we must learn to differentiate between the wants/needs/desires of the mind/consciousness and the needs and requirements of ourselves and our world as physical beings. So, within walking/applying and living self-care, the question we must ask ourselves is: How do I support that little life spark within myself? How do I support my physical body that makes my existence in this world possible in the first place? How do I care for my existence practically, physically, in such a way that I can be the best I can be according to my predisposition, and further, how can I explore and expand my abilities and my possibilities to contribute to a change in my world so that also my world becomes ‘worthy of life’.

Care should be the practical, visible living-application of one’s love for life –not one’s ‘love’ for one’s own mind- where love and life/living are equal and one in meaning and value, because love –and CARE- cannot be just a ‘feeling’, an ‘idea’, an ‘intent’ that follows a quest of enlightened self-interest’.

When CARE is real, it has constructive results which are visible, measurable, not only for oneself, but consequently and in time for one’s world as well.

Join us to walk the solutions to such questions practically, individually, and together as One life, as One humanity – to find ways where we can all live and co-exist without harm, without exploitation, without abuse. Within AND without.

More perspectives on Living Words can be seen here:

Day 406: SELF-Management through TIME-Management
Day 405: SELF-MOVEMENT - How to Move Self into Fulfillment
Day 162: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | ACCEPTANCE
Day 164: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | PRESENCE
Day 170: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | INTIMACY & FULFILLMENT 
Day 171: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | HAPPINESS & JOY
Day 172: Living Words in Self Agreement as Life | PATIENCE part1

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