Freitag, 9. November 2012

DAY 200: Be_Longing | REACTION Dimension of the Mind Construct

ART by Kelly Posey

I am continuing from
For further context please see

I am moving on to walk the REACTION dimension of the mind construct, and I am noticing an interesting point when I put together the BACKCHAT points I had gathered (which one can look at as an extension and further interpretation of the THOUGHTS) and the reactions:

They don’t care about me
I am only being used to satisfy "their" needs / concepts / desires / dreams
They don’t really want me here
For them it’s not about me/who I am, it’s about what "they" want/need
Yes, look, they don’t do this & that… / they are/do… –  that means they don’t give a fuck
Again I am waiting for them
I always have to wait
I hate waiting for them
I hate needing them
Why do I care, if they don’t
I feel used / abused
I feel trapped
I need to run away, far away
They hurt me
Fuck them ‘cause they don’t care
If they make me feel like I’m worth nothing – then they are worth nothing

Depression – self-victimization
Feeling restricted /done wrong unto
Anger – Rage
Spite – Grudge

Now what is interesting, is that these reactions are reactions to the thoughts and back-chat (which I walked through in my previous blog posts); in other words, these reactions are reactions to internalized stimuli saved within the database of my mind consciousness as value-judgments, definitions, relations, which I accepted and allowed –

Therefore, this kind of mind-control is self created through acceptance and allowance (and imagine: this kind of madness is what we create our world as, thought our acceptance and allowance of the consciousness system of polarity = of power-games that we are presented with / exposed to upon entering this world as an innocent newborn) –

and works from the inside out, which is quite ‘dangerous’ because what this further implies is that we do not see people for what they are, but instead we instantaneously, quantumly categorize another’s presence, their words, behaviours, looks, everything of them: according to the pictures, definitions, value-judgments that we keep in our mental-emotional data base as the reference-system we measure ourself and our world against and according to which we behave = react.

This would imply that we are all but characters in each-others mental bubbles of reality, and never really in fact get to know each-other for who one really is. Because also, who one really is: is never really explored, uncovered and discovered, but instead one defines oneself in reference to one’s environment thus in essence one defines oneself through the eyes of “others”, the eyes of the world, the eyes of the system, based on the world consciousness system that rules this existence: this system of POLARITY – thus separation, power-games, and fake values.

So, when I look again at the Backchat points and the Reaction points:

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react in impatience, when in fact I was the one that chose to ‘wait’.

Therefore, when and as I see myself becoming impatient, I see it as an indicator that I am waiting for ‘something’; thus I stop, I breathe, and I let go of the projection to instead take self-directive principle and move myself in self-honesty and self-determination.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that reacting in impatience was in fact a reaction to my own thoughts and internal conversations, where I had allowed myself to shift my responsibility onto “others” through the perception that I am waiting for them/ that I have to wait for them –

when in fact this is only a ‘justification’ of/as the mind to not have to take absolute self-responsibility in the physical reality and to remain as the Waiting Character playing the game of consciousness through and as such mind construct for instance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility and ‘justify’ this through projecting blame which is in fact equal to projecting responsibility and power, because as long as I blame “others” I am making “others” responsible and within this give “them” power over me – instead of me taking self-responsibility and the directive to move myself.

Within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see that I was in fact becoming impatient toward myself, yet projecting this impatience towards others and making others ‘responsible’ for ‘my impatience’ and ‘my experience’.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, that reacting in impatience was in fact me reacting to me keeping me from moving, keeping me from directing myself.

Therefore when and as I see myself going into impatience: I stop, I breathe, I investigate in self-honesty what it is I am ‘waiting’ for, and I MOVE myself to Stop Waiting and start directing the point in self-responsibility.

I will continue in my next Blog post.

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