Freitag, 9. November 2012

Day 201: Be_Longing | REACTION Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

ART by Andrew Gable

I am continuing from
For further context please see

What I had seen within my previous writing, is how these/such reactions are reactions to the thoughts and back-chat (which I walked through in my previous blog posts, see my writings from Day 189 - Day 198); in other words, these reactions are reactions to internalized stimuli saved within the database of my mind consciousness as value-judgments, definitions, relations, which I accepted and allowed and perpetuated through Thoughts / Thinking / Backchat in the mind –
Thus what I realized is how this mind-control is self created through acceptance and allowance of definitions and value-judgments!

And imagine: this kind of madness is what we create our relationships as, thought our acceptance and allowance of the consciousness system of polarity (which in essence consists of and exists as power-games), a system that we are presented with / exposed to upon entering this world as an innocent newborn.

This system consciousness is a perceptual filter through which we each form an ‘ individual’ view of reality, namely the view of the persona/character/personality we become in the context of the world system. We become thus systems within a system, as without so without, as above so below.

And consequently, we do not see people for what and who they are, but instead we instantaneously, quantumly categorize another’s presence, their words, behaviours, looks, everything of them: according to the pictures, definitions, value-judgments that we keep in our mental-emotional data base as the reference-system we measure ourself and our world against and according to which we behave = react.

...Which further implies that there is no authentic self expression as life yet in this world, merely systems reacting to systems from a starting-point of self-interest with the objective of self-interest. Quite a fuck up.

We are all but characters in each-others’ mental bubbles of reality, never really in fact getting to know each-other for who one really is. Because also, who one really is: is never really explored, uncovered and discovered, but instead one defines oneself in reference to one’s environment thus in essence one defines oneself through the eyes of “others”, the eyes of the world, the eyes of the system, based on the world consciousness system that rules this existence:
a system of POLARITY – thus separation, power-games, and fake values, which is the system through which we are ‘educated’ to fit into this world.

I am continuing here with the REACTIONS dimension, where I had pin-pointed the following reactions:
Depression – self-victimization
Feeling restricted /done wrong unto
Anger – Rage
Spite – Grudge

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react with depression towards my own thoughts, thinking and believing that “I don’t belong” and that “I am not worthy”, when in fact it is the acceptance of such thoughts / conclusions / definitions that allows for a self-experience of/as depression.

Therefore I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not see, that the experience of depression was my own creation, based on my acceptance of thoughts such as “I don’t belong”, “I am not worthy”, “they don’t love me”.

Within this I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to go into self-victimization and self-pity, wherein I’d feel sorry for myself and blame “others” for not ‘accepting me’, not ‘valuing me’, not ‘caring for me’ –

when in fact I was the one that was not accepting me, I was the one that was not valuing me and not caring for me as who I really am as life, because I had abdicated my self-responsibility, my self-worth and self-love, projecting these points outside of myself, in separation from myself, and then expecting “others” to fulfil these points for me.

Therefore, when and as I see myself going into self-victimization, depression, or self-pity: I stop, I breathe, and I realize that I’m about to abdicate myself, my responsibility, my self-determination to “others” outside of myself. Thus I take the point back to self and take self-responsibility to make sure I accept myself here, as life, and stop myself from expecting and needing ‘validation’, ‘acceptance’ and ‘appreciation’ from “others”.

I also realize that within living self-acceptance, self-worth and self-love for myself, in self equality and oneness, I stop the separation of myself from the qualities of ‘acceptance’, ‘value’, ‘love’, and instead of projecting these qualities ‘out there’ for me to yearn for and seek out for: I live these qualities within and as who I am, within and through practical living, in self-honesty and self-support.

I see, realize and understand that depression is but a form of self-manipulation, to remain ‘small’, to remain ‘the victim’, so that I don’t have to stand-up and take self-responsibility to move and direct myself.

Therefore, when and as I see myself going into an experience of depression, or, when and as I see an experience of depression wanting to come-up within me: I stop, I breathe, and I do not accept or allow myself to step into the Victim Character.

I instead stand-up within myself and reinforce my self equality and oneness as life, so that I may walk in self-dignity and support myself through self-honesty and practical common sense, walking the corrective application of not accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself and/or to manipulate my world/others through projections of blame.

Whenever I see projections of blame wanting to come-up within me: I stop, I breathe, and I immediately take the points ‘back to self’ to take responsibility for – as I realize that blame is always an abdication of responsibility, and in essence an abdication of power.

When and as I see myself perceiving myself as a ‘victim’ of my world/my reality: I stop, I breathe, and I do not accept or allow myself to go into sef-victimization, because within that I’d be abdicating my power and making “others” responsible for who and how I am.

Therefore, I take absolute self-responsibility for who and how I am, as I realize that within this I have the power to change me, through self-honesty and practical common sense.

I commit myself to changing myself in any and all points where my self-application is not aligned to LIFE as what is best for all, by removing from my self-application the separation, the polarity, the projections, and taking absolute self-responsibility for who and how I am.

I further see and realize that depression and self-victimization is in essence something that I do unto myself, wherein for instance I’d in fact be depressed about the cycles of pattern that I’d find myself within, seemingly powerless to change or step out of; instead of seeing and realizing that depression is in fact the result of self-victimization, wherein self does not want to face oneself and take the responsibility to stand-up and change what must be changed, but is instead making “others” responsible –

which is seemingly the easy way out, but in fact such application merely accumulates the denials and suppressions within self, and when inevitably self is faced with everything of self that self had denied and suppressed, the awakening is rude.

Therefore I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as a Victim Character – as I see that such character merely exists to manipulate self into submission to/as the mind consciousness, and to manipulate “others” into taking responsibility for something that self is allowing within self : This is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in the power-games of consciousness as polarity within the mind and within my world. What I see and realize is that the only solution out of the trap of polarity: is to STOP the GAME.

Therefore, I assist and support myself in stepping out of the characters I have become, as a system within the world consciousness system, and walking myself into and as LIFE, in self equality and oneness, thus in self-acceptance, self-dignity, and self-worth as life.

I commit myself to let go of any and all “values” I have adopted of the system, “values” that exists only as value-judgments within a polarity systems of “values” that absolutely disregard the VALUE of LIFE, the only actual, real value; and the one that we All equally share, by the very breath that sustains us.

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