Samstag, 3. November 2012

Day 195: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

ART by Kelly Posey



I am continuing from



I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat / internal conversations about my life and my experience of myself, wherein I would within the mind move between the polarities of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ perception –
instead of realizing that both value-judgments are just that: perceptions, definitions, judgments.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed judgment within myself – instead of realizing the practical implication of the words “Judge not lest you be judged”, namely that all judgment reflects self and returns to self –

therefore I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider and investigate the consequences of the judgment existent within me/my mind through my acceptance and allowance.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, through judgment, try and abdicate my self-responsibility to ‘external factors’, wherein I’d either make ‘external factors’ responsible for my ‘fulfilment’ (‘positive’ polarity) or responsible for my ‘discontent’ (‘negative’ polarity) –
instead of seeing the actual consequence that is practically implied within this: namely the abdication of self responsibility and making self subject to ‘external factors’, thus in essence giving-up the point of self-determination and self-directive principle.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE –
wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out how to ‘win’ and how to get to the satisfactions of one’s (conditioned!) wants, needs, desires and to the avoidance of one’s (respectively conditioned!) fears – within this in fact compromising self as life and giving-up the self-directive principle self can exist within/as through self-awareness and self-honesty in every moment of breath.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE – wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out equations of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ – thus creating, manifesting, and accepting INEQUALITY – perpetuating consequently the HUMAN RACE which is a competition for ENERGY –

Energy being the “value” we assign to things mentally, in terms of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’, within this disregarding and ignoring the ACTUAL VALUE of/as LIFE, as ourselves, each-other, this world, our existence.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that backchat /internal conversation exist to create the (fuzzy!) logic that is set to ‘validate’ the ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ that come-up through the friction in one’s world related to the wants, needs and desires of the ego mind consciousness one exists as –

when in fact such ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ are products of conditioning and the result of accepted self-definitions created through value-judgment and comparison in a world where the value of life is disregarded and exploited in the name of profit / self-interest.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in inner conflict – instead of realizing that inner conflict is always the result of self-dishonesty, when self accepts and allows within self the bipolar condition of back-chatting /internal conversations of and as value-judgments, rather than looking at things/self in self-honesty and common sense to in fact see direct, see what is here, see things for what they are and thus assist and support self in understanding cause and effect and taking responsibility for all consequence/outflows of ‘who one is’ in every moment.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider and question WHAT it is that’s back-chatting /having internal conversations within MY mind WITHOUT my directive instruction – and yet I will follow and believe the ‘voices’, because they ‘explain’ to me my ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

However, when I in self-honesty and common sense look at the backchat in my mind directly, I see that all ‘explanation’ comes-up in a way that abdicates by responsibility and creates JUSTIFICATIONS and ‘excuses’ as to why for instance the inner conflict is valid or why for instance blaming another/’external factors’ is valid –
when clearly it is not, because how can blame and abdication of self-responsibility be valid when we can see all around us throughout the history of mankind that blame has gotten us no-where and FEAR is used as an excuse to not have to take responsibility for What is Here;

after all – What is Here: WE have created / accepted / allowed / given permission for to exist.


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to place trust in what comes-up in the mind automatically, habitually, repeatedly, re-cycling again and again WITHOUT any constructive, supportive result whatsoever –
when clearly what comes-up in the mind are bipolar patterns of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ thoughts, memories, definitions, from which accordingly emerge the respective ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that as long as we are busy in the MIND, we cannot be Here as Life, because in the mind each one is busy defending and justifying Self-Interest –
Self-Interest being the ONE Ring that Binds Us All, the ‘Ring of Power’, the polarity cycle, the snake biting its own tail, the never-ending system of self-delusion as Energy.


I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are but an INTERPRETATION of reality according to the individual self-interest –
and that to SEE reality for what it is, one has to let go of self-interest, let go of fear which is but an excuse, let go of the conditioned wants/needs/desires of the ego mind consciousness, and self-realize LIFE within and as the interconnectedness of this physical reality we all share, this physical world that is currently constantly at WAR due to the RAW nature of Self-Interest we accept and allow ourselves to exist within and as.


I continue walking my process of moving myself out of the conditioned existence of/as the mind, and into the actuality of reality within and as the physical, to see and understand cause and effect and thus be able to effectively take responsibility for myself, my world, this existence we all share, as one, as equals.



I will continue with this point in my next blog post.



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