Freitag, 26. Oktober 2012

Day 187: Be_Longing * The Absurdity of Longing to Belong

This is continuing from
Day 184: Facing the Consequences of Following the Mind
Day 185: Value Issues & Consequences of Running on ENERGY
Day 186: Name the Game - Laying out the Mind CONstruct

I want to look into the word ‘belonging’, as I see within it revealed how one single idea/definition becomes an obsession that can possess an entire life.

Looking at the word ‘belonging’ as a living word, what do I see:


How have I lived this word:

I’ve created a desire out of it -- projection / hope: wanting to belong, hoping to belong.

Within this ‘positive’ projection into the ‘future’/the ‘there’ – I am implicitly defining the ‘here’, ‘my present’, as ‘negative’.

‘Belonging’ as an experience to ‘have’/’gain’/’receive’ is being projected ‘out there’ (hope and desire to get it, fear of not getting it) – manifesting through acceptance my ‘here’ as ‘lacking’/ me as ‘not receiving’, and thus ‘longing’.


If I accept myself to remain existing within the want/need/desire to ‘belong’
[which already reveals that it’s about a ‘feeling’ of belonging that I’m actually dealing with, an idea; because in fact I do belong on this earth, like everyone else equally, I belong to the human species and everything that is here on this planet … This would be the perspective from which to look at how to re-define the word ‘belong’ to be valid for life and practical living, instead of it being a mental concept/idea/projection] –
So, if I accept myself to remain existing within the want/need/desire to ‘belong’ – then as a consequence I exist in constant projection of that want/need/desire: be_longing – I am_longing; thus I am not complete, not fulfilled in the ´here´, in the ´present´.

And from this starting-point, wherein I define/accept my self-worth here as ‘negative’, I create myself/my experience as ‘longing’ for self-worth / ‘longing’ for ‘positive’ value – which I assume to attain/get/succeed through (the idea of) ‘belonging’.

The consequence within all this, is that I do not allow myself to be fully Here, accepting me here, and thus taking responsibility for what is here as me, as my reality, as this world.

I become trapped / trap myself within projection / hope – longing to ‘belong’ – because I have placed worth/value into an idea of ´belonging´, thinking and believing that if/when I feel like I belong, then I am worthy, then I found my place, then I can accept myself.

So here I see revealed through my words that I´ve created all these conditions in relation to self-acceptance and self-worth –

and that in fact, because this idea of ‘belonging’ is just that – an ‘idea’, and the ´feeling´/´experience´ of ‘not belonging’ is already conditioned, I’d always be longing to belong, and nothing would ever be ‘enough’ or ‘right’ to ‘make me feel’ like I belong, because that would threaten the purpose of this mind system / personality consciousness, the purpose being to ‘find’ this ‘belonging’ –

Interesting –
‘seeking to "find"...’ 
...all the while I am here, yet actually missing me here, not accepting me here.

The more I ‘seek’, the less I ‘find’, because the more I separate me from me through projections, ideas, and concepts of the mind.
Being in the mind, I cannot be here in self-acceptance, living in self-worth as life.

It´s really insane how such consciousness mechanisms exist and how the ´feelings´ and ´emotions´ that come-up will seem to validate and justify the personality as it exists –
of course they do, because it has all been programmed this way throughout a lifetime – through our own acceptance and allowance, even though in unawareness.

Within and through writing, I am becoming aware of this program that exists within and as me, taking up so much of my attention – and within becoming aware and looking at things in self-honesty from the perspective of Life as equality and oneness, I place myself in a position where I can take back the power I´ve given away to such systems/patterns, and make my own decisions in fact, in full awareness of cause and effect, as I see, realize and understand the consequences of the current consciousness of polarity, separation, comparison, competition.

This must stop – I must stop me from existing within and as such consciousness – because this is what I want, this is who I really am as life, this is my true desire or purpose as life, and it is the actual wish of all life that has been suppressed, denied, abused: to get to the common sense of equality and oneness as life; no more abuse, no more separation, no more survival, no more competition, winning/losing, no more ´human race´ –

only Life / Living –
in equal freedom, dignity and respect –
so that we can finally be whole, complete, in full awareness fulfilling ourselves and each-other as Life, as all, as one, as equals.

Obviously to ´get there´, which is actually HERE – to get out of our mind bubbles and get HERE as all as one as equals as LIFE – we gotta start with ourselves and get to self-honesty about ourselves, get to self equality and oneness, and stand-up to share our process with our world so that others equally may become aware of the accepted and allowed insanity, the power-games and the abuse that manifest this world as we know it and an existence where life is exploited in the name of profit – in OUR name as we exist in self-interest.

Let´s ReForm our Existence from Self-Interest in Separation into Oneness and Equality in the Interest of Life!

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