Montag, 22. Oktober 2012

Day 183: Slooooooooowing myself down

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

For context see
Day 174: The Journey to Life - Breath by Breath.
Day 177: Setting Life Free from the System – part1
Day 178: Setting Life Free from the System – part2
Day 179: We are the ones we've been waiting for
Day 180: Taking a Real Role and Walking Out of Characters
Day 181: Can’t serve two gods
Day 182: Aligning Self to Life is a Real Decision

Slowing down – this is an ‘application’ or rather a practical awareness point that I’ve committed myself to living, because really, rushing only brings forth the conditioned automated patterns into beingness, whereas in slowing down I can literally move like in slow motion and within that giving myself the opportunity to ‘see’ the mind moving, thus also the opportunity to direct myself ‘before’ the mind moves – before automated behaviors, reactions, moods, patterns are ‘acted out’ automatically.

I am within this also realizing that I am doing ‘less’ yet ‘more’, moving ‘slower’ yet ‘faster’. Being here in every moment and allowing myself to focus 100% on what it is I am doing in the moment, I assist and support myself to stop allowing distractions as the automated thoughts or backchat that comes up in the mind. The less movement there is within myself in terms of ‘mind stuff’ moving, the more stable and focused I can be, and thus the more effective.

The importance of making actual decisions is becoming more and more evident, as it is within the absoluteness of a decision that I am then able to full commit to what I have decided, not allowing distractions, doubt, and other stuff that the mind ‘wonders’ about.
So basically within slowing down, I am seeing that in every new moment I am required to make a new decision, and within that, I assist and support myself to remain here in awareness in every moment.

Another point I realized is how ‘fast’ the mind is to judge – this also due to my ‘individual’ design as conditioned – wherein there would be a constant backchat of self-judgment within myself. I found for myself that there exists within me an underlying personality that will always go into self-judgment extensively and will even deliberately seek out points to judge and loathe self for -
and then, every time I’d open up a new layer or a new point, this personality would be there waiting in a way: so now that I’m aware of it, I can start stopping it, and I understand that it won’t be immediate, but the more I apply this point of self-direction, the 'sooner' and 'sooner' I am able to stop myself from going into self-judgment and self-loathing, thus the more effective I become in living self-direction and self-support.
And yes – within slowing down, I bring myself in the position to stop that self-judgment from taking place and instead re-direct myself towards effective, constructive living in self-responsibility.

So – in a way, slowing down for me also entails the aspect of simplicity, and that is quite enjoyable, because within that I am much more relaxed. Doing what I’m doing, and not thinking about the next thing and the next – and within that, I am realizing, there is also a point of self-acceptance.
Self-acceptance is ‘easier’ when slowing down within self – as within that one also realizes that: in every moment I am the one in fact making a decision as to what it is I am aligned to, and what I accept and allow within myself and what not.

Distractions, thoughts, backchat – exist only through my allowance. If I stand clear and direct myself within whatever it is I am doing, breath by breath, I assist and support myself to not allow distractions in the mind, to not allow myself to wonder whether I should be doing something else, be somewhere else, or anything of the kind that would distract me from simply being here and directing myself within the task that I decide to take on.

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ART by Adam Closs

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