Mittwoch, 15. Mai 2013

381. Redefining ME | Debunking Self Religion - I Am what I beLIEve? (part2)

...Even though I had forgiven and let go of the blame that I held towards my parents for me ‘feeling unloved’ and realized that parents can always only give what they have received (=what they were taught) unless they themselves get to a point of self-realization and transcend the patterns of the past that keep us all repeating the same cycles over and over again –
even though I had forgiven the blame I was projecting onto my parents, I still held on to the ‘feeling’ of ‘not being loved’ as if it were an inherent part of me, as if it were what defines me, and alas this ‘feeling’ did become what defines me because I had accepted it as me and did not question its relevance or whether I can in fact trust it, let alone the consequences from accepting such a ‘feeling’ within me to define who I am and how I experience myself.

Continuing from
Day 380. Redefining ME | Debunking Self Religion - I Am what I beLIEve? 
Day 378. Redefining ME | What is Perfection? 'Success' vs. 'Failure'?
Day 376 | Redefining ME | From Alone to AllOne
Day 375 | Redefining ME | Self Commitment - to LIVE
Day 374 | Redefining ME | Self Religion continued: Living vs. Doing
Day 373 | Redefining ME | Self Religion continued: Feeling Good vs. Feeling Bad
Day 371 | Redefining ME – Debunking Self Religion
Day 363 | Love in My Life
Day 362 | Are we just Earthlings ???
Day 361 | An Earthling’s Journey to Life
Day 360 | My Life is Me - Equal Life Foundation
Day 359 | My Life is Me
Day 358 | Who is the Self within Self-Interest
Day 357 | Is Consciousness All I Can Be?
Day 356 | Self Commitment - Stopping the Negativity in My Life
Day 355 | Misfit > Transfit > Earthling > LIFE : A New Destiny is Possible
Day 354 | The Nastiness of the Misfit
Day 352 | My Life Journey from Misfit to Earthling
Day 351 | “My Life” - The Ignorance of the Misfit

Day 350 | Beliefs & Self-Definitions in relation to „My Life“
Day 349 | Self Commitment - Responsibility for „My Life“ & Responsibility for Life as a Whole
Day 348 | Self Commitment - "My Life"
Day 347 | Self Commitment & Desteni I Process

...So – when I looked at this ‘feeling’ which became a belief (“I am not loved”) that I was holding onto for most of my teenage years and young adulthood, I realized that I had made some ‘interesting’ conclusions from that one single belief, conclusions that would affect my entire life and the way I feel about myself.

For example:
I am not loved therefore I am not worthy of love.
I am not loved therefore I am unworthy.
I am not loved therefore I cannot love myself.
I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to love myself.
I am not loved therefore I am not happy.
I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to be happy.
I cannot be happy unless someone/another loves me.

What is interesting to note here – and also to answer the question I placed in the title of this post – is that Yes indeed, we are and become what we believe: the beLIEfs we hold define and determine who we are and how we experience ourselves; they define what we will look for in life and what we will fear or avoid. 

Therefore, beLIEfs we hold in our minds form HOW WE FEEL about ourselves – and how we feel about ourselves forms the bounds of our limitation; and voilà, there you have it, a self-created prison, a self-imprisonment that resonates through everything one will do or say, because that is what one accepts and allows oneself to be.

Fascinatingly enough everyone is able to see this, within their own lives or within the lives of other people – and most people will come to a point of understanding that, hey, my parents did not know better, it’s not their fault, they themselves are victims of their environment and parental and environmental influences, I can forgive them, I don't have to blame them, as blaming them does not change me and my experience of myself.

But – 
when it comes to “How do I change me?” “How do I stop feeling this way?” – people do not have the skills nor the tools to deprogram the accepted beliefs/ideas/feelings and tend to rather suppress the unpleasant/the ‘negative’ and in its stead superimpose beliefs/ideas/feelings of the opposite polarity as ‘positive’/pleasant. What happens within that is that the ‘negative’ part is not removed, is not transcended, is not changed at its core, but is only suppressed and denied, and therefore any ‘positive’ image or feeling one would superimpose to make oneself ‘feel better’ will in fact have its starting-point/creation-point within the ‘negative’.

And so it is that this world and existence never changes – the same patterns repeat and recycle, the same polarity games, the same struggles, the same ignorance, the same lies. No real change, no transformation, hardly ever.

Since I started walking the Desteni process and working with the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness and practical self-corrective application, I have realized that transcendence not only implies a real/physical change at all levels (thought, word, and deed) that is visible in one’s world/reality, but it also takes time, because one has to in fact live the correction/the new/the change into beingness, into existence, as oneself. 

And since the creation of the old pattern that one decided to forgive and let go had taken years of repetitive application to be ingrained and become part of ‘who I am’, it is common sense that the correction of the point and the integration of the correction as ‘who I am’ will equally take time and will require me to give myself the ‘new instruction’ repeatedly, until I no longer need to remind me of my decision to change, to live a new solution, because that change, that solution has become who I am in thought, word and deed.

Suggested Read:
Motherhood and Brainwashing
Brainwashing - The Secret History 

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