Mittwoch, 8. Mai 2013

373. Redefining ME | Self Religion continued: Feeling Good vs. Feeling Bad

ART by Kelly Posey

…I am walking a process of establishing the value of life within and as myself – and this implies letting go of and moving myself beyond the limitations I have accepted, adopted and placed faith in throughout my life.
…So I’ve been looking into the main ‘moods’ that define my existence and how I ‘feel’ about myself and my life – what thoughts circulate/repeat in my mind and what these/such thoughts are telling me about myself/my life – and I’ve been recognizing how I uphold my own limitation.
…What can be seen through such investigation is a SELF RELIGION: everything we believe about ourselves / our life / our world, and all the ways we justify why we are who and how we are.

Continuing from
Day 371 | Redefining ME – Debunking Self Religion
Day 363 | Love in My Life
Day 362 | Are we just Earthlings ???
Day 361 | An Earthling’s Journey to Life
Day 360 | My Life is Me - Equal Life Foundation
Day 359 | My Life is Me
Day 358 | Who is the Self within Self-Interest
Day 357 | Is Consciousness All I Can Be?
Day 356 | Self Commitment - Stopping the Negativity in My Life
Day 355 | Misfit > Transfit > Earthling > LIFE : A New Destiny is Possible
Day 354 | The Nastiness of the Misfit
Day 352 | My Life Journey from Misfit to Earthling
Day 351 | “My Life” - The Ignorance of the Misfit
Day 350 | Beliefs & Self-Definitions in relation to „My Life“
Day 349 | Self Commitment - Responsibility for „My Life“ & Responsibility for Life as a Whole
Day 348 | Self Commitment - "My Life"
Day 347 | Self Commitment & Desteni I Process

A point I started looking at is the polarity of feeling good and feeling bad in relation to ‘my life’.
And I realized that both polarities are created through thoughts and equations in the mind, and neither of the polarities is close to the actuality of reality which needs not be limited to ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ feeling/emotional reaction.

In this context I'd like at this point to refer to some fascinating perspectives in the following short Vlogs by Sunette Spies:

Emotions are Emoticons
Feelings FEEL, that's why the human can't
Thoughts are self-aware, that's why they can talk to us
Thoughts think for us - Who's the Captain here?

From the perspective of ‘my life’, feeling bad, which has been more about ‘not feeling that good’, emerged throughout an interesting experience within the family, where – because there was a person in the family that did not feel good, I as a child felt that I am not allowed/it’s not right for me to feel good because then that person will feel more bad or may even hate me or blame me for how they feel. In fact I may have thought/seen/observed as a child that this person felt more bad when I was more happy/feeling good. 

This is a point to walk through in self forgiveness: 
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into comparison about ‘my life’ and another’s life, and to think and believe that it is a bad thing to feel good because maybe another feels bad and then me feeling good will make them feel more bad. I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to from such a childhood memory and equation-formation exist in a state of mind/being where I do not allow myself to be happy/feel good with me, and then in my mind I will ‘justify’ that with ideas of ‘success’ that I am apparently not fulfilling thus "I don’t deserve to feel good /be happy". And therefore I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed others/the mind to determine my value and whether I deserve to feel good and be happy. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to give myself the permission to feel good/be happy, which especially in the time of this memory as a child would mean to simply be and express and be carefree. I also forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise and suppress the life/living within and as me by submitting to the mind's/system's idea/"value" of ‘caring’ about another’s mind/mental state as in 'feeling sorry' for them; and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally, thinking and believing that I am responsible, or maybe even as a child fearing that I may be responsible for another feeling bad and not knowing how to deal with it/how to direct the point.

So as can be seen, this is a 'huge' point in terms of what definitions, conclusions, equations have been drawn at one point / one memory with such an impact that this one point is able to define and determine (through my blind acceptance) how I live and who/how I am today with myself and my world.
I will definitely be going deeper into this point, and I’ll be sharing more in posts to come.

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