Dienstag, 13. August 2013

460 | Bernard was a Teacher for Life

I met Bernard on the Desteni farm when I first got there in summer 2008.
I asked him many questions. Mostly I was given as a reply a context; or an example from his own life, through which I could then go and explore practical ways toward an answer/solution. Sometimes he would show me that the way I was asking a question was already expecting a certain answer, in a way pre-determining the answer, which he then refused to give.

Learning to ask the ‘right question’ to get REAL answers is a precious tool I took with from my encounters with Bernard – to not have the ‘answer’ be filtered through the limitation of my own conditioned ‘knowledge’ and desired expectations. This is a crucial point to realize, when one is exploring the truth of reality and creation.
Other times, when I’d ask a question, Bernard would say something like “I cannot give you the answer; if I give you the answer you’ll create an assumption at this point” or “If I give you the answer then something else must ‘happen’ for you to prove to yourself that you got the point; best to breathe and walk through this point ‘till you get self-clarity.”

Bernard was a leader by doing, a real teacher – by living example, by being here, and challenging you to be your own leader, an equal of life; not by preaching or expecting you to listen/approve/follow. Bernard hates slaves. He treats all living things equally. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you think you are looking for, what you know and how profound your education is – the challenge is always the same: Life, and whether you can be trusted with life.
This challenge comes in different ways and is always ‘tailored’ to suit you – no wonder actually, since one is always facing oneself.

I had never met anyone who is so ‘one with’ the actuality of reality at any given moment; simply Here, and able to take apart and explain any given point of existence ad hoc. Seeing that this ‘skill’ was coming from/with the common sense and the willingness to see things for what they are, I started to train myself in what we call practical common sense. I started writing about points of my inner experience and of this world – our existence here on earth – and taking apart my beliefs and ideas I had created to see and understand how I came to be who/what/how I am today, how to set myself free from my self-imposed/ accepted / allowed limitations and how change is in fact possible.

I never thought I’d be able to do anything substantial in my life, even though I had good writing skills. And yet today it is often that I’ll look at a point and go Okay, let me take this apart and see how it works! And I’ll grab my voice recorder and start speaking, and I’ll see a point through, from cause to effect to a solution that is aligned with life as equality and oneness.
I pushed myself. “Push” – is a word Bernard would use often to indicate how it is not without self-will and personal ‘effort’ or ‘movement’ that one direct oneself beyond the conditioned limitations and acceptances of consciousness programming; beyond the patterns we are trapped within/as; beyond the mind-control of moods, justifications, self-beliefs and the personal ways we ‘reason’ about in an attempt to not see the real reasons behind it all.
Because once we see, we cannot deny; we have no choice but to acknowledge our part within the bigger picture, no choice but taking equal responsibility for life –
which is cool, since in this world we learn to only move when the damage is done, or when there’s a reward awaiting us at the end of the line. And we move only within the boundaries of our already existent/adopted/accepted ‘knowledge’. We tend to want to ‘know’ the outcome before we even start.

I learned to push myself, move myself beyond limitations, and I still push, even though it doesn’t always come easy. We spent many, many, many breaths accumulating the ‘who we are’ as who we have become; many breaths defining the boundaries of ‘our world’, ‘our life’, ‘our’ bubble in an attempt to ‘protect’ ourselves from…. From what really? We end up separating ourselves from life, from ourselves.
It will take many breaths to accumulate change, many breaths to set a ‘new program’, a new way of life that truly honors life, as all, as one, as equals.

The fact that we humans exist within/as ‘protection-mechanisms’ testifies of the fact that we are being born into a hostile environment. Regardless where we are born and how loving our parents may be – the systems of this world enter our consciousness early enough to start forming the ‘person’ we will be; the ‘persona’ we develop as a ‘shield’ against this world while we try to fit-in.
Life should not be this way, need not be this way!

I came to realize that there is no truth but ‘what is here’ – no spiritual, intellectual or mental absoluteness; Our Truth is in this world, it IS the world – this existence of which we are beginning and end, this reality that reflects who we are as the building blocks of the world. 

To explore the truth, we must understand each and every single point of existence from beginning/conception/cause to its effect/outflow/end. We must stop closing our eyes before the manifested consequence of ourselves that is this reality; and apply the common sense required to understand the reasons behind everything based on the context of the Whole, instead of trying to reason about things based on our limited ‘knowledge’ that is conditioned through race, culture, status, ideology, belief-systems that serve no other purpose but to validate their own existence against the rest of everything.

Bernard could address the part of you that is equal to life. You might tend to call it ‘higher self’ – but it’s not somewhere ‘higher’, it is simply Here once you remove the veils that separate us from all that is here – life. It isHere as your highest potential waiting to be actualized, waiting to be lived, waiting for YOU. And so we’ve in fact been waiting for ourselves, while projecting a separate entity or savior or god ‘out there’ of which we’ve been hoping to bring salvation, resolution, a solution to this existence.

So when you are faced with life calling you out, you will either step up and stand equal, or you will allow ego to possess you with self-righteousness. This obviously stands no chance against Life. Because ego is small and tight, enclosed in fear while it tries to be/seem ‘big’, ‘bigger’, ‘better’; Life is open, Life is here, Life is equal, Life has no fear.

Ego is the current accepted ‘human nature’. It exists everywhere, and the world system as we know it produces, ‘educates’ and conditions exactly that: ego. Ego exists because we do not grow up to realize ourselves as life, as oneness and equality with all that is here. Ego exists because we do not learn self-trust and self-expression, how could we – our parents and their parents before them got the ‘sins of the fathers’ passed on.

Ego exists in our stead.
We develop ego instead of developing ourselves as life; we develop defense-mechanisms instead of developing the practical common sense that would allow us to stand equal to and one with Self as who we really are.
‘Washed’ through the machines and systems of this world, we grow up losing ourselves. We lose our equality and oneness with life; we start to separate from Here and go into ‘bubble-existences’ of/as the mind – alternate realities of ego – utilizing belief-systems to ‘defend our case’.
Within the context of life this is already a case ‘lost’ – because life requires no ‘defense’, it is always all inclusive!

I, too,have stood in the shoes of ego, which is what we all become in this world, I stood in fear and inequality and my stomach would cramp. In the mind – and consequently within my world – I had wallowed in bipolar patterns of inferiority/superiority as everyone does that goes through the systems of this world. “Play the game” and “the winner takes it all”. We accept this with every point of the world-system we (literally) buy into.

With time, and significantly during/through my visit at the farm, I got to see and understand how polarity works and how we basically trap ourselves into bipolar constructs – mental, emotional, behavioral – that in turn form our world, our experience of the world and our experience of ourselves. I learned to recognize the physical patterns of fear, anxiety, self-righteousness, ego – and I learned to stop. Stop myself from following automatic and conditioned responses – to instead make directive choices based in what is best for LIFE, and myself as LIFE. No gods, no masters, no slaves – that is a ‘shout-out’ I’ve used in my Blogs and profiles for quite some time, because really – as paradox as it may seem: Equality is the Key to Freedom, the Key to Life and Living!

I spent quite some time studying the patterns and habits that ‘inhabit’ me, and I still do. During my visit, I would take on the points that life on the Desteni farm was challenging me with and I would de-construct each point/reaction/occurrence /situation to understand how I was ‘baked’; to understand why I had the reaction I did, which interestingly enough were not ‘new’, and so I started investigating the consciousness patterns I had formed myself around and within, which I then throughout my life allowed to define who I am and what is ‘possible’ for me and what not. We literally design our personal limitations, it is fascinating to discover!

What was also fascinating to see is that the patterns we create throughout the first years of our life and also specifically within the context of family and first relationships: literally form our perception of ourselves and the world and imprint the expectations (positive or negative) we later tend to have towards ourselves and others in our world. Wherever we go, whatever we do – we seemingly cannot escape the ‘spell’ of that influence. That is so because ultimately, we are facing ourselves. It is Us that must change, not everyone/everything else. We can go on ‘hoping’ for a better lover, a better friend, a better family etc. etc. – but honestly everyone is able to observe in their own life: this ‘hope’ is only a ‘symptom’ of waiting for things to change, for others to change.

“Let go of all Hope”, said Bernard often. That is when he observed that I was still ‘waiting’ and ‘projecting’ change through other people or projected events I ‘hoped’ would happen – instead of taking full self-responsibility and the self-directive to Be/Become the change I wished for.

We fear change. Most people choose to remain within the patterns they are familiar with, because the ‘justifications’ used to explain “why”we are who/what/how we are (while we wallow in blame, guilt, regret) form the ‘knowledge’ that makes us feel ‘safe’, that makes us feel we ‘understand’ life and “life is unfair” and we think we ‘deserve’ to be where we are – whether we consider that to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – “it must be better than change…”
The mind exists within and as fear!

Why do I mention ‘fear’ that often?
Fear is in direct relation to self-dishonesty. Bernard would challenge and expose any and all points of self-dishonesty within anyone – I suppose that is why people tend to react to Bernard in fear and ego.Is it a coincidence that the word INFERIOR entails the word fear?!

I made a fascinating discovery in this context – a discovery that has become a point of self-reference for me: When I walk in self-honesty, there is no fear, no guilt, no anxiety.
Self-dishonesty on the other hand is the point(s) where we betray ourselves, betray life. And that is always based on fear and always creates more fear, because deep down we actually Know what we’ve done / what we are doing; Which is why we tend to ‘protect’ ourselves against everybody else, just like we tend to feel we need to ‘fight’ against everything else. And ‘win’. This is what all the systems of the world function on – Education in this world is in fact brainwashing and mind-control!
Fascinating to realize that mind-control works from the inside out.

We are possessed with our own possessions, possessed with ‘knowledge’, beliefs and ideas about life, the world, ourselves.We’ve lost ‘touch’ with life, with ourselves. We’ve lost our equality, our innocence; we’ve eaten from the “tree of knowledge of good and evil” – but what is disillusioning to observe is that in this world: both ‘good’ and ‘evil’ are evil. The ‘good’ that exists is rooted in separation, polarity, protection-mechanisms.
Real Goodness should consider and include the total context of Life at all times. Real Goodness will never accept abuse, exploitation, (self-)deception; it will not accept anything less than Life.

At the farm, among the daily practical farm work, I started with my process of self-honesty and self-purification consciously. The farm was a great environment to do so, because all farm mates would work on/with self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-purification through writing, communicating, working together and applying self-corrective application in self-responsibility.
We would often sit together and talk a point through or exchange realizations and experiences on a particular subject. We were walking the process for ourselves and with each-other, through working the farm together and also through the online forums we’d moderate and share on,and it was astoundingly natural when we started discussing and practically looking at ideas of publishing books and sharing this process and practical tools with as many people as possible. I am certain that, just like me, anyone that’s spent time on the farm and got to know the ‘ways’ of working through points and facing oneself, has also been looking at sharing ‘this’ with their loved ones. Similarly to watching an intensely impressive sunset and going “I wish they were here to see this too!”

Developing myself and at the same time the ‘Desteni I Process’ (as we later called it) together with the people at Desteni has been the most fascinating experience in my life! This was real-time development, real-time observation, real-time participation, involvement and interaction/working-together to un-cover the hidden boundaries that keep us entrapped in ego and survival-mode...

....It’s been equally fascinating to see throughout time how it all unfolded and still is unfolding, and how throughout the whole process we would take into consideration also the feedback of existence to then re-design, re-align, re-structure a particular point for example.
This is also a tool I learnt to utilize for myself: realizing that my environment and the feedback that comes back to me is in a way a ‘measurement’ of reality, a ‘measurement’ of change;yet also self-honesty is required to not create dependency on such ‘measurement’ or jump to assumptions or self-definitions or judgments.

“Work is love made visible”, wrote Khalil Gibran, and that is one of the practical values and actual meaning that I practically discovered for myself through this whole ‘movement’ that started with a bunch of people having had enough of this fucked-up existence, enough of the abuse in the world, enough of the deception we allow in ourselves and the world. This movement that started off with a bunch of people being completely serious about reality and willing to see things for what they are and do what it takes to no longer allow self/the world to be trapped in this fraudulent lie of existence, has expanded to an extent that it now literally – through practical considerations seen in books, courses, blogs, interviews and political suggestions – embraces the whole world and considers/introduces actual, physical, practical solutions for ALL that is Here: both individually and collectively. 

It has never been more obvious that: if we want to change what ‘life’ is, if we want to change this world, we have to change ourselves and how we co-exist.

What made quite a big impression on me at the farm are Bernard’s children. 

When I got there Cerise was about 17 and LJ 14. I was amazed at the trust that was evident in the interaction of father and children, as well as the self-trust the children revealed within how they dealt with the practical everyday matters of the farm, the land, the animals, the group of people and the ‘chores’ required to maintain a functional living-together as best for all.

What is interesting when we observe animals with their offspring is that they teach their offspring independence as well as interdependence; they teach them to stand on their own two feet and meet the practical requirements of their immediate environment and how to walk as equals – without ever being possessive, fearful, over-protective or spiteful.
This kind of relationship is missing within the human species. The human species handles their children like possessions, like something they own, something that is ‘theirs’ to do with as they please, and so parents tend to pass on to their children their own fears, desires, expectations – just like it was done unto them by their parents, just like it is done generation upon generation and the ‘sins of the fathers’ create vicious cycles that lead humanity to self-destruction. 

We’ve known no other way; Traumatized through the world’s systems and injected with the knowledge of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ of this world, we’ll do everything to protect our children and mostly to our best knowledge. However, there is nowhere any ‘real morality’ applied to assist us in honoring Life. Fear makes us buy into the system.
Being ‘good’ only to ‘our own’ is not sufficient, not enough if we want to change the world and stop the patterns that keep the world spinning as we know it, recycling history while killing the planet, destroying the very thing that allows us life.

A new system based on the value of life that will eliminate fear of survival and provide for all equally, will give to the institution of family the chance to develop relationships of actual intimacy, to spend quality time with each-other and really get to know each-other, to re-establish real values in life, to explore what really matters, to discover talents and abilities and what we’re good at. We will be able to pursue the real ‘pursuit of happiness’ as we discover ourselves with the support of our family, without having to become ‘someone’, be ‘something’, alienate ourselves just to ‘survive’, just to fit into this world, just to appease the parents that exist in fear of what will become of their children in this world.

This world can become a world where Life can be trusted.

Self-trust is one of the greatest virtues in life. Self-trust will allow us to regain our dignity and to respect ourselves and each-other. And in self-trust we’ll learn to trust each-other again, and slowly but surely we will shed the make-up of ‘masks’ and ‘protection-mechanisms’ that we in our process of evolution and in the context of survival-mode learnt to form and exist as …as if it were who we are.
It’s time to stop existing in fear of survival, time to stop hiding behind systems of separation; and start exploring Living, dis-covering what Life is and can be!
It’s time we make sure we support practical solutions that make this possible for all life equally!

For a moment, Bernard was like a father-figure for me. It’s not that he in any way placed himself as such; Rather, it’s that I at some point realized I had given him this ‘role’ within myself. This realization showed me a point of inequality within/with myself. And I saw that I was at a point where I had to stand ‘alone’, stand-up for myself and start walking the process ‘for my own sake’, due to and by my own self-will, by my own initiative. I had to start living the ‘change’ and applying the ‘realizations’ because it’s Who I am, because I am here, because I see, because I realize self-love and self-acceptance and that only self-mastery can stop slavery once and for all.

And that’s what it’s all about.
The process of self-actualization begins, breath by breath, and it’s in my hands, I am in my hands, and equally I place all life in my hands and take responsibility. Like Bernard, I want to trust myself as life; trust myself with life.
And I do. And when there’s a point of uncertainty, a point I don’t know how to look at, how to approach, I’ll ask myself What would Bernard do. You could ask yourself What would Jesus do, or What is best for all, or What would god want – but make sure you ask the question in the context of All Life, not in the context of your misery and the desire to ‘win’ something out of it all, not in the context of your own fears and desires, not in the context of your own beliefs and your own morality or ideas of grandeur.

Life Is All One

Common sense implies Equality.
Without Equality, our Oneness is doomed. This is evident.

Self-Honesty as life is probably the most ‘difficult’ point to grasp and apply in the process of self-realization. But there is no way out –we cannot escape ourselves, we cannot run from Here. Life is Here, facing us in every moment with the question: Who are you? Where do you stand? Do you drive yourself or are you driven? And will you do what is best for all?

Isn’t it fascinating how self-mastery and the ‘highest’ of life’s potentials can only be developed and exist in equality and oneness – not in ‘inferiority’ and self-pity, not in ‘superiority’ and enlightened self-interest! We can ALL be masters of life equally. We can all be creators. We have to all be creators if we wanna bring forth a new dawn for mankind, a new beginning for humanity – as Life.

All of what we’ve ‘known’ and ‘accepted’ of this world requires a re-evaluation. A re-evaluation in the context of life as a whole, life as oneness and equality – to change the legacy of Mankind and become Kind in fact.

One thing I learned is to never give up. To fall and stand-up is not a mistake, it is what it is until self-trust and self-honesty are consistent enough that we simply stand, here, stable, eternal, as who we really are as life; accepting nothing less than life from everyone and everything.
The ‘motivation’ to keep breathing, to keep walking, to not stop, to write, to participate – all that comes from the core of my being. It is who I am, who I have made myself to be, through my commitment to life.

This is not what I always was. When I visited the Desteni farm I was still existing in apathy towards the world due to my suppressed anger and accepted powerlessness. I was still in ignorance about how my existence was contributing to the continuation of the system – the world as we know it. I was still rather self-absorbed and in my denial I was still blinded by the shiny colors of ‘positive thinking’ and other suppression mechanisms. It was quite a process for me to start seeing things for what they are, and start calling things by their name. Learning to actually care; learning to consider the consequences of my existence, the outflows of my actions; learning to appreciate being here, being alive and having the chance to participate in the transformation of this world and the transcendence of ego. It’s been a process and it still is, and my participation at the Desteni farm and meeting Bernard and all the other beings on the farm was the most eye-opening / I-opening experience and support in my life.

I understand that I cannot, and do not, disregard what I’ve been through and everything I’ve experienced throughout my life up to the current moment. Because every step, every breath, every decision, every question I asked myself: paved the way before me, until one day I found myself studying with intense interest the findings, realizations and discussions of a small group of people on the forum of the Desteni website – and I was able to hear the common sense, it reminded me of what I’ve always ‘known’, seen and acknowledged when I was a child.
I wanted to meet these people more than anything. So I did. It was the beginnings of the Desteni farm, international forum participants were welcome to visit, and I was one of the first and one of the longest-staying.

I am eternally grateful for meeting Bernard and the rest of the people on the farm, grateful for all the chats and discussions and challenges, for all the points I faced, and all the common sense I was able to realize. Through this group of people that refused to accept ‘life’/the world in the limitations we humans impose onto ourselves and each-other, I was supported to discover that there is more to life than this!

Six years later, we are now an ever growing internet community that share common sense and practical solutions for our world - on individual and collective level.
Join us, and let's spread the common sense and establish: Humanity as ONE group. 

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