I met Bernard on the
Desteni farm when I first got there in summer 2008.
I asked him
many questions. Mostly I was given as a reply a context; or an example from his
own life, through which I could then go and explore practical ways toward an
answer/solution. Sometimes he would show me that the way I was asking a
question was already expecting a certain answer, in a way pre-determining the
answer, which he then refused to give.
Learning to
ask the ‘right question’ to get REAL answers is a precious tool I took with
from my encounters with Bernard – to not have the ‘answer’ be filtered through
the limitation of my own conditioned ‘knowledge’ and desired expectations. This
is a crucial point to realize, when one is exploring the truth of reality and
creation.
Other
times, when I’d ask a question, Bernard would say something like “I cannot give
you the answer; if I give you the answer you’ll create an assumption at this
point” or “If I give you the answer then something else must ‘happen’ for you
to prove to yourself that you got the point; best to breathe and walk through
this point ‘till you get self-clarity.”
Bernard was
a leader by doing, a real teacher – by living example, by being here, and
challenging you to be your own leader, an equal of life; not by preaching or
expecting you to listen/approve/follow. Bernard hates slaves. He treats all
living things equally. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you think you are
looking for, what you know and how profound your education is – the challenge
is always the same: Life, and whether you can be trusted with life.
This challenge comes in different ways and is
always ‘tailored’ to suit you – no wonder actually, since one is always facing
oneself.
I had never
met anyone who is so ‘one with’ the actuality of reality at any given moment;
simply Here, and able to take apart and explain any given point of existence ad
hoc. Seeing that this ‘skill’ was coming from/with the common sense and the
willingness to see things for what they are, I started to train myself in what
we call practical common sense. I started writing about points of my inner
experience and of this world – our existence here on earth – and taking apart
my beliefs and ideas I had created to see and understand how I came to be
who/what/how I am today, how to set myself free from my self-imposed/ accepted
/ allowed limitations and how change is in fact possible.
I never
thought I’d be able to do anything substantial in my life, even though I had good
writing skills. And yet today it is often that I’ll look at a point and go
Okay, let me take this apart and see how it works! And I’ll grab my voice
recorder and start speaking, and I’ll see a point through, from cause to effect
to a solution that is aligned with life as equality and oneness.
I pushed
myself. “Push” – is a word Bernard would use often to indicate how it is not
without self-will and personal ‘effort’ or ‘movement’ that one direct oneself
beyond the conditioned limitations and acceptances of consciousness programming;
beyond the patterns we are trapped within/as; beyond the mind-control of moods,
justifications, self-beliefs and the personal ways we ‘reason’ about in an
attempt to not see the real reasons behind it all.
Because
once we see, we cannot deny; we have no choice but to acknowledge our part within
the bigger picture, no choice but taking equal responsibility for life –
which is
cool, since in this world we learn to only move when the damage is done, or
when there’s a reward awaiting us at the end of the line. And we move only
within the boundaries of our already existent/adopted/accepted ‘knowledge’. We
tend to want to ‘know’ the outcome before we even start.
I learned
to push myself, move myself beyond limitations, and I still push, even though
it doesn’t always come easy. We spent many, many, many breaths accumulating the
‘who we are’ as who we have become; many breaths defining the boundaries of
‘our world’, ‘our life’, ‘our’ bubble in an attempt to ‘protect’ ourselves
from…. From what really? We end up separating ourselves from life, from ourselves.
It will
take many breaths to accumulate change, many breaths to set a ‘new program’, a
new way of life that truly honors life, as all, as one, as equals.
The fact
that we humans exist within/as ‘protection-mechanisms’ testifies of the fact
that we are being born into a hostile environment. Regardless where we are born
and how loving our parents may be – the systems of this world enter our
consciousness early enough to start forming the ‘person’ we will be; the
‘persona’ we develop as a ‘shield’ against this world while we try to fit-in.
Life should
not be this way, need not be this way!
I came to
realize that there is no truth but ‘what is here’ – no spiritual, intellectual
or mental absoluteness; Our Truth is in this world, it IS the world – this existence
of which we are beginning and end, this reality that reflects who we are as the
building blocks of the world.
To explore
the truth, we must understand each and every single point of existence from
beginning/conception/cause to its effect/outflow/end. We must stop closing our
eyes before the manifested consequence of ourselves that is this reality; and
apply the common sense required to understand the reasons behind everything
based on the context of the Whole, instead of trying to reason about things
based on our limited ‘knowledge’ that is conditioned through race, culture,
status, ideology, belief-systems that serve no other purpose but to validate
their own existence against the rest
of everything.
Bernard
could address the part of you that is equal to life. You might tend to call it
‘higher self’ – but it’s not somewhere ‘higher’, it is simply Here once you
remove the veils that separate us from all that is here – life. It isHere as
your highest potential waiting to be actualized, waiting to be lived, waiting
for YOU. And so we’ve in fact been waiting for ourselves, while projecting a
separate entity or savior or god ‘out there’ of which we’ve been hoping to
bring salvation, resolution, a solution to this existence.
So when you
are faced with life calling you out, you will either step up and stand equal,
or you will allow ego to possess you with self-righteousness. This obviously
stands no chance against Life. Because ego is small and tight, enclosed in fear
while it tries to be/seem ‘big’, ‘bigger’, ‘better’; Life is open, Life is
here, Life is equal, Life has no fear.
Ego is the
current accepted ‘human nature’. It exists everywhere, and the world system as
we know it produces, ‘educates’ and conditions exactly that: ego. Ego exists
because we do not grow up to realize ourselves as life, as oneness and equality
with all that is here. Ego exists because we do not learn self-trust and
self-expression, how could we – our parents and their parents before them got
the ‘sins of the fathers’ passed on.
Ego exists
in our stead.
We develop
ego instead of developing ourselves as life; we develop defense-mechanisms
instead of developing the practical common sense that would allow us to stand
equal to and one with Self as who we really are.
‘Washed’
through the machines and systems of this world, we grow up losing ourselves. We
lose our equality and oneness with life; we start to separate from Here and go
into ‘bubble-existences’ of/as the mind – alternate realities of ego –
utilizing belief-systems to ‘defend our case’.
Within the
context of life this is already a case ‘lost’ – because life requires no
‘defense’, it is always all inclusive!
I, too,have
stood in the shoes of ego, which is what we all become in this world, I stood
in fear and inequality and my stomach would cramp. In the mind – and
consequently within my world – I had wallowed in bipolar patterns of
inferiority/superiority as everyone does that goes through the systems of this
world. “Play the game” and “the winner takes it all”. We accept this with every
point of the world-system we (literally) buy into.
With time,
and significantly during/through my visit at the farm, I got to see and
understand how polarity works and how we basically trap ourselves into bipolar
constructs – mental, emotional, behavioral – that in turn form our world, our
experience of the world and our experience of ourselves. I learned to recognize
the physical patterns of fear, anxiety, self-righteousness, ego – and I learned
to stop. Stop myself from following automatic and conditioned responses – to
instead make directive choices based in what is best for LIFE, and myself as
LIFE. No gods, no masters, no slaves – that is a ‘shout-out’ I’ve used in my
Blogs and profiles for quite some time, because really – as paradox as it may seem:
Equality is the Key to Freedom, the Key to Life and Living!
I spent
quite some time studying the patterns and habits that ‘inhabit’ me, and I still
do. During my visit, I would take on the points that life on the Desteni farm
was challenging me with and I would de-construct each point/reaction/occurrence
/situation to understand how I was ‘baked’; to understand why I had the
reaction I did, which interestingly enough were not ‘new’, and so I started
investigating the consciousness patterns I had formed myself around and within,
which I then throughout my life allowed to define who I am and what is
‘possible’ for me and what not. We literally design our personal limitations,
it is fascinating to discover!
What was
also fascinating to see is that the patterns we create throughout the first
years of our life and also specifically within the context of family and first
relationships: literally form our perception of ourselves and the world and
imprint the expectations (positive or negative) we later tend to have towards
ourselves and others in our world. Wherever we go, whatever we do – we
seemingly cannot escape the ‘spell’ of that influence. That is so because
ultimately, we are facing ourselves. It is Us that must change, not
everyone/everything else. We can go on ‘hoping’ for a better lover, a better
friend, a better family etc. etc. – but honestly everyone is able to observe in
their own life: this ‘hope’ is only a ‘symptom’ of waiting for things to
change, for others to change.
“Let go of
all Hope”, said Bernard often. That is when he observed that I was still
‘waiting’ and ‘projecting’ change through other people or projected events I
‘hoped’ would happen – instead of taking full self-responsibility and the
self-directive to Be/Become the change I wished for.
We fear
change. Most people choose to remain within the patterns they are familiar
with, because the ‘justifications’ used to explain “why”we are who/what/how we
are (while we wallow in blame, guilt, regret) form the ‘knowledge’ that makes
us feel ‘safe’, that makes us feel we ‘understand’ life and “life is unfair”
and we think we ‘deserve’ to be where we are – whether we consider that to be
‘good’ or ‘bad’ – “it must be better than change…”
The mind
exists within and as fear!
Why do I
mention ‘fear’ that often?
Fear is in
direct relation to self-dishonesty. Bernard would challenge and expose any and all
points of self-dishonesty within anyone – I suppose that is why people tend to
react to Bernard in fear and ego.Is it a coincidence that the word INFERIOR
entails the word fear?!
I made a
fascinating discovery in this context – a discovery that has become a point of
self-reference for me: When I walk in self-honesty, there is no fear, no guilt,
no anxiety.
Self-dishonesty
on the other hand is the point(s) where we betray ourselves, betray life. And
that is always based on fear and always creates more fear, because deep down we
actually Know what we’ve done / what we are doing; Which is why we tend to
‘protect’ ourselves against everybody else, just like we tend to feel we need
to ‘fight’ against everything else. And ‘win’. This is what all the systems of the
world function on – Education in this world is in fact brainwashing and
mind-control!
Fascinating
to realize that mind-control works from the inside out.
We are
possessed with our own possessions, possessed with ‘knowledge’, beliefs and
ideas about life, the world, ourselves.We’ve lost ‘touch’ with life,
with ourselves. We’ve lost our equality, our innocence; we’ve eaten from the
“tree of knowledge of good and evil” – but what is disillusioning to observe is
that in this world: both ‘good’ and ‘evil’ are evil. The ‘good’ that exists is
rooted in separation, polarity, protection-mechanisms.
Real
Goodness should consider and include the total context of Life at all times.
Real Goodness will never accept abuse, exploitation, (self-)deception; it will
not accept anything less than Life.
At the
farm, among the daily practical farm work, I started with my process of
self-honesty and self-purification consciously. The farm was a great
environment to do so, because all farm mates would work on/with self-honesty,
self-forgiveness, self-purification through writing, communicating, working
together and applying self-corrective application in self-responsibility.
We
would often sit together and talk a point through or exchange realizations and
experiences on a particular subject. We were walking the process for ourselves
and with each-other, through working the farm together and also through the
online forums we’d moderate and share on,and it was astoundingly natural when
we started discussing and practically looking at ideas of publishing books and
sharing this process and practical tools with as many people as possible. I am
certain that, just like me, anyone that’s spent time on the farm and got to
know the ‘ways’ of working through points and facing oneself, has also been
looking at sharing ‘this’ with their loved ones. Similarly to watching an
intensely impressive sunset and going “I wish they were here to see this too!”
Developing
myself and at the same time the ‘Desteni I Process’ (as we later called it)
together with the people at Desteni has been the most fascinating experience in
my life! This was real-time development, real-time observation, real-time participation,
involvement and interaction/working-together to un-cover the hidden boundaries
that keep us entrapped in ego and survival-mode...
....It’s
been equally fascinating to see throughout time how it all unfolded and still
is unfolding, and how throughout the whole process we would take into
consideration also the feedback of existence to then re-design, re-align,
re-structure a particular point for example.
This
is also a tool I learnt to utilize for myself: realizing that my environment
and the feedback that comes back to me is in a way a ‘measurement’ of reality,
a ‘measurement’ of change;yet also self-honesty is required to not create
dependency on such ‘measurement’ or jump to assumptions or self-definitions or
judgments.
“Work is love made visible”, wrote Khalil Gibran, and that is one of the practical values and actual meaning that I practically discovered for myself through this whole ‘movement’ that started with a bunch of people having had enough of this fucked-up existence, enough of the abuse in the world, enough of the deception we allow in ourselves and the world. This movement that started off with a bunch of people being completely serious about reality and willing to see things for what they are and do what it takes to no longer allow self/the world to be trapped in this fraudulent lie of existence, has expanded to an extent that it now literally – through practical considerations seen in books, courses, blogs, interviews and political suggestions – embraces the whole world and considers/introduces actual, physical, practical solutions for ALL that is Here: both individually and collectively.
It has never been more obvious that: if we want to change what ‘life’ is, if we want to change this world, we have to change ourselves and how we co-exist.
What made
quite a big impression on me at the farm are Bernard’s children.
When I got
there Cerise was about 17 and LJ 14. I was amazed at the trust that was evident
in the interaction of father and children, as well as the self-trust the
children revealed within how they dealt with the practical everyday matters of
the farm, the land, the animals, the group of people and the ‘chores’ required
to maintain a functional living-together as best for all.
What is
interesting when we observe animals with their offspring is that they teach
their offspring independence as well as interdependence; they teach them to
stand on their own two feet and meet the practical requirements of their
immediate environment and how to walk as equals – without ever being
possessive, fearful, over-protective or spiteful.
This kind
of relationship is missing within the human species. The human species handles
their children like possessions, like something they own, something that is
‘theirs’ to do with as they please, and so parents tend to pass on to their
children their own fears, desires, expectations – just like it was done unto
them by their parents, just like it is done generation upon generation and the
‘sins of the fathers’ create vicious cycles that lead humanity to
self-destruction.
We’ve known
no other way; Traumatized through the world’s systems and injected with the
knowledge of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ of this world, we’ll do everything to protect
our children and mostly to our best knowledge. However, there is nowhere any
‘real morality’ applied to assist us in honoring Life. Fear makes us buy into
the system.
Being
‘good’ only to ‘our own’ is not sufficient, not enough if we want to change the
world and stop the patterns that keep the world spinning as we know it,
recycling history while killing the planet, destroying the very thing that
allows us life.
A new
system based on the value of life that will eliminate fear of survival and
provide for all equally, will give to the institution of family the chance to
develop relationships of actual intimacy, to spend quality time with each-other
and really get to know each-other, to re-establish real values in life, to
explore what really matters, to discover talents and abilities and what we’re
good at. We will be able to pursue the real ‘pursuit of happiness’ as we
discover ourselves with the support of our family, without having to become
‘someone’, be ‘something’, alienate ourselves just to ‘survive’, just to fit
into this world, just to appease the parents that exist in fear of what will
become of their children in this world.
This world
can become a world where Life can be trusted.
Self-trust
is one of the greatest virtues in life. Self-trust will allow us to regain our
dignity and to respect ourselves and each-other. And in self-trust we’ll learn
to trust each-other again, and slowly but surely we will shed the make-up of ‘masks’
and ‘protection-mechanisms’ that we in our process of evolution and in the
context of survival-mode learnt to form and exist as …as if it were who we are.
It’s time
to stop existing in fear of survival, time to stop hiding behind systems of
separation; and start exploring Living, dis-covering what Life is and can be!
It’s time
we make sure we support practical solutions that make this possible for all
life equally!
For a moment, Bernard
was like a father-figure for me. It’s not that he in any way placed himself as
such; Rather, it’s that I at some point realized I had given him this ‘role’
within myself. This realization showed me a point of inequality within/with
myself. And I saw that I was at a point where I had to stand ‘alone’, stand-up
for myself and start walking the process ‘for my own sake’, due to and by my
own self-will, by my own initiative. I had to start living the ‘change’ and
applying the ‘realizations’ because it’s
Who I am, because I am here, because I see, because I realize self-love and
self-acceptance and that only self-mastery can stop slavery once and for all.
And that’s what it’s
all about.
The process of self-actualization
begins, breath by breath, and it’s in my hands, I am in my hands, and equally I place all life in my hands and take
responsibility. Like Bernard, I want to trust myself as life; trust myself with
life.
And I do. And
when there’s a point of uncertainty, a point I don’t know how to look at, how
to approach, I’ll ask myself What would
Bernard do. You could ask yourself What
would Jesus do, or What is best for all, or What would god want – but make
sure you ask the question in the context of All Life, not in the context of
your misery and the desire to ‘win’ something out of it all, not in the context
of your own fears and desires, not in the context of your own beliefs and your
own morality or ideas of grandeur.
Life Is All
One
Common sense implies Equality.
Without Equality, our Oneness is doomed. This is evident.
Self-Honesty
as life is probably the most ‘difficult’ point to grasp and apply in the
process of self-realization. But there is no way out –we cannot escape
ourselves, we cannot run from Here. Life is Here, facing us in every moment
with the question: Who are you? Where do you stand? Do you drive yourself or
are you driven? And will you do what is best for all?
Isn’t it
fascinating how self-mastery and the ‘highest’ of life’s potentials can only be
developed and exist in equality and oneness – not in ‘inferiority’ and
self-pity, not in ‘superiority’ and enlightened self-interest! We can ALL be
masters of life equally. We can all be creators. We have to all be creators if we wanna bring forth a new dawn for
mankind, a new beginning for humanity – as Life.
All of what
we’ve ‘known’ and ‘accepted’ of this world requires a re-evaluation. A
re-evaluation in the context of life as a whole, life as oneness and equality –
to change the legacy of Mankind and become Kind in fact.
One thing I
learned is to never give up. To fall and stand-up is not a mistake, it is what
it is until self-trust and self-honesty are consistent enough that we simply
stand, here, stable, eternal, as who we really are as life; accepting nothing
less than life from everyone and everything.
The
‘motivation’ to keep breathing, to keep walking, to not stop, to write, to
participate – all that comes from the core of my being. It is who I am, who I
have made myself to be, through my commitment to life.
This is not
what I always was. When I visited the Desteni farm I was still existing in
apathy towards the world due to my suppressed anger and accepted powerlessness.
I was still in ignorance about how my
existence was contributing to the continuation of the system – the world as we
know it. I was still rather self-absorbed and in my denial I was still blinded
by the shiny colors of ‘positive thinking’ and other suppression mechanisms. It
was quite a process for me to start seeing things for what they are, and start
calling things by their name. Learning to actually care; learning to consider
the consequences of my existence, the outflows of my actions; learning to
appreciate being here, being alive and having the chance to participate in the transformation
of this world and the transcendence of ego. It’s been a process and it still is,
and my participation at the Desteni farm and meeting Bernard and all the other
beings on the farm was the most eye-opening / I-opening experience and support
in my life.
I
understand that I cannot, and do not, disregard what I’ve been through and everything
I’ve experienced throughout my life up to the current moment. Because every
step, every breath, every decision, every question I asked myself: paved the
way before me, until one day I found myself studying with intense interest the
findings, realizations and discussions of a small group of people on the forum of
the Desteni website – and I was able to hear the common sense, it reminded me
of what I’ve always ‘known’, seen and acknowledged when I was a child.
I wanted to
meet these people more than anything. So I did. It was the beginnings of the
Desteni farm, international forum participants were welcome to visit, and I was
one of the first and one of the longest-staying.
I am
eternally grateful for meeting Bernard and the rest of the people on the farm,
grateful for all the chats and discussions and challenges, for all the points I
faced, and all the common sense I was able to realize. Through this group of
people that refused to accept ‘life’/the world in the limitations we humans
impose onto ourselves and each-other, I was supported to discover that there is
more to life than this!
Six years later, we are now an ever growing internet community that share common sense and practical solutions for our world - on individual and collective level.
Join us, and let's spread the common sense and establish: Humanity as ONE group.
Check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.
Check out the Bill of Rights @ the Equal Life Foundation - a comprehensive approach to our Co-existence to ensure the Right to Life, Freedom and Dignity for All.
Check out the Basic Income Guaranteed – with solutions that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.
Check out the FREE Educational Downloadables at EQAFE!
Blogs to Study:
Basic Income Guaranteed - Home - With Blogs & News
Economist's Journey to Life - BIG Solutions for the World's Economy
Politics and Political Action Re-Evaluated
Economist's Journey to Life - BIG Solutions for the World's Economy
Politics and Political Action Re-Evaluated
Criminology, Cause & Effect, and How to establish a Society that's Pro-Life
Practicality for the Transcendence Process of Human Systems
Practicality for the Transcendence Process of Human Systems
MUST-READ on Life and Creation:
For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://forum.desteni.org
Join us in the Journey to Life !
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