Day 13: Stopping the Hater within Self

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hate the hater when I witness a situation where someone will bully another back in hate.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that hating the hater makes me into a hater myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the anger that comes up within me when witnessing a hater is in fact revealing to me that I hold a judgment against the hater and a self-judgment against myself, believing I am inferior to the situation – instead of standing in the point of common sense and equalizing myself with the moment that is here to effectively direct the situation through common sense.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to a reaction with a reaction, based in morality value judgments, without realizing that by reacting in the same way I become equal to that which I react to.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react with anger at my world when seeing the patterns of our existence wherein each one always wants to have the last say, to be right, to win a situation.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react in helplessness and powerlessness, thinking and believing I m not able to show and explain the point in common sense.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of inferiority when another is superimposing superiority, and then from that starting-point of accepted ‘inferiority’ to try and impose a ‘superior’ solution – instead of pointing out the obvious, as for instance pointing out what it is that one is placing oneself equal to when reacting in hate and anger and bullying back.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider that by reacting in anger and hate towards the hater, I am in fact placing myself equal to the pattern of the ‘hating’ and the ‘hated’ – instead of stepping out of the polarity and resolving the point in equality, pointing out the common sense that no solution can ever be achieved when each one is always trying to ‘win’ and have the last say, and that seeking ‘revenge’ or ‘justice’ in a polarity system can never be what is best for all.

I’ve been writing about the point of self-consciousness these days, and yesterday I read a blog that demonstrates and deconstructs the system of self-consciousness in a very clear way.

It is fascinating how both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ are but ‘gods’ and ‘demons’ of the mind – points to which we assign certain ‘values’ based on polarity value-judgments of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, and we do that within ourselves in the mind just like we do it in our world.

The purpose that self-consciousness serves is the pursuit of winning, the pursuit of personal happiness – whereby the happiness of self-consciousness is not even necessarily the point of actual happiness for the person it is inhabiting.

Self-consciousness derives pleasure from ‘control’, regardless whether this is done through the ‘positive’ or through the ‘negative’ – the goal is the same: ‘being in control’.

It is that point of ‘control’ that is programmed to equate with ‘personal happiness’ – and so it is for instance that people will stay in abusive relationships or will continue with patterns of self-abuse simply because it gives them the illusion of ‘control’. The very limitation and actual imprisonment they are subjecting themselves to: make up the framework for their perceived ‘control’, wherein it is not even the person itself that has any form of control, it is the mind as self-consciousness that preserves itself within the patterns it ‘knows’ and can ‘deal with’, hence the perception of ‘control’. The mind as self-consciousness will often drive a being to desperate and degrading actions against itself or against others just to get that thrill of perceived ‘control’.

The consequences of such ‘control’ is what we see in our world wherein we make everything about being ‘right’ and being ‘in control’ and within this we make everything about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and inflict upon this existence an endless race where ‘the winner takes it all’.

We have ended up in an existence where everyone is bullying each-other and everyone is always bullying back, as everyone is driven by this energy of self-righteousness – and that is the very point that always seeks to win, always seeks revenge, always seeks to have the last say.

When we look back at history, it is obvious that we are not getting anywhere by looking to blame others and trying to prove ourselves/our side to be ‘right’.

So how do we stop this game? How do we stop the power-games, the cycles of blame and the finger-pointing? How do we get ourselves to a point where we can start afresh, with a clean slate?

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in a constant mental state of trying to be ‘right’, trying to ‘win’, trying to have the last say.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to derive ‘worth’ and ‘validation’ and ‘power’ from such behaviour, wherein if I do not get to be the ‘winner’ I will feel ‘less than’ and ‘invalidated’ and ‘powerless’ and I as mind as self-consciousness cannot allow anything or anyone else to be ‘more than’ me or ‘better than’ me or to be ‘right’ against me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take people’s behaviours personally and see others as being ‘against me’, not realizing that this conflict of interests is in fact a characteristic of self-consciousness as something it can create friction from, because without friction it cannot create the energy as the endless ‘race’ it requires to sustain itself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to ‘strike back’ whenever I perceive that ‘something is done unto me’ – instead of realizing that this ping-pong game is the very pattern through which we are recreating wars and conflict in our world, both on the smaller and the bigger scale.

I forgive myself for taking things personally and judging others, without questioning myself as my own reactions that come up within me – as I have not allowed myself to see and realize that what comes up within me is in fact me and therefore I am facing myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always place the blame in ‘others’ because through this I can abdicate my responsibility to others and do not have to face myself or change myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that others must change first because others are ‘more wrong’ than me and when others change only then will I consider changing myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility through projecting my inner world into my outer world and blaming others about what I am experiencing – instead of realizing that I am creating my own reactions through and as self-consciousness in separation from life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and change myself and my world through ‘control’ – instead of realizing that this only keeps history repeating and that it is only in equality and oneness that we are able to effectively redirect and reform our existence of polarity into an existence of oneness and equality as best for all.

I commit myself to stopping my own reactions and equalizing myself in common sense before I engage myself into directing a situation where ego is playing out.

I commit myself to stopping ego within myself, because if I want to support others in stopping ego within themselves, I require to be the example of how that is possible and how we can walk ourselves out of the mind of polarity and into life as self-equality and oneness.

I commit myself to exposing ego in all possible ways, so that we may all see and realize that by existing as ego we are only perpetuating the state of the world as we know it, where war, abuse and exploitation are the common denominators of a system that abuse life, just like we allow the self-consciousness as the ego we have become to abuse the life in ourselves and each-other.

I commit myself to actualizing my standing in oneness and equality with every opportunity that presents itself to me – and I commit to pointing out the patterns and not the people, as I see that we all exist within the same patterns of abuse and self-righteousness and therefore it’s not about who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’ but it’s about stopping the power-games altogether and realizing practical solutions of common sense that will bring forth a win-win resolution to all conflict and war, because as life we can give to all that which we would like for ourselves.

I commit myself to not reacting with anger when faced with the unacceptable of this world, but to instead investigate and explain how the pattern exists and how we all participate in keeping it alive – because when we see how we are keeping the pattern alive we can also see how we can stop it and put an end to the power-games and the illusionary ‘control’ we so desperately try to maintain.

I commit myself to not give up in the moments I am faced with ‘powerlessness’, but to utilize the breath that was unconditionally given to me by life itself to equalize myself as life and to stand-up and stop the accepted ‘powerlessness’ within myself and accept myself as equal of life, as that is the only starting-point from which we are able to bring forth solutions that will be best for all.

I commit myself to walking in humbleness and stopping the power-games I exist within in all possible ways.

I commit myself to realizing and walking the practical example of how life as equality and oneness is the only actual power, through and as which we are able to make a difference within ourselves, our world and this existence as a whole.