An Earthling's Journey to Life: Day 28: Self-Worth and Self-Image

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to submit to the image of being a woman in a world where women define their self-worth based on their ability to have a man /a relationship.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to define myself as 'more worthy' when I am in a relationship, and 'less worthy' when not.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to as a woman create a self-image of myself to be 'liked' and 'accepted' by men.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a woman needs a man /a relationship to be fulfilled.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that a woman needs a man /a relationship in order to be 'worthy' and 'accepted' in this world.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-worth and self-fulfilment, and to project 'worth' and 'fulfilment' outside of myself, seeking to be 'valued' and 'fulfilled' through a man /a relationship.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we have separated ourselves form the value of life and thus feel 'inferior' - and then seek to compensate for that self-created 'lack' through attempting to add 'value' to ourselves through external factors.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we do not teach ourselves and our children how to live fulfilled lives and expand to our utmost potential, with the result that we spend a lifetime trying to 'find' ourselves through trying to 'find' fulfilment in all kinds of things from money, to sex, drugs, spirituality, religion, knowledge, status, fame.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the current money-system is supporting inequality at all levels as well as supporting the accepted 'inferiority' of the human being by promoting 'fulfilment' and 'worth' through external factors; even selling images of how a woman must look like or how a man must look like to be 'successful' in this world. And as we buy into the 'values' presented to us by the system we completely fail to notice that we are abdicating the value of life and are placing ourselves inferior to the value of life through separation and the abdication of our equality as life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to submit to the accepted 'inferiority' imposed by the world system and all systems of the world like family, education, media, science, money-system - wherein we are taught that we must 'gain' and 'attain' value by following the ways of the world and the laws of the system; within this accepting ourselves per implication as 'worthless' and 'valueless'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to fail to see and realize that our desires are manufactured by the system and designed to keep the system running, to keep the human controlled and enslaved, to keep the patterns of existence recycling, to maintain the status quo in the world as we know it.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to discover and develop self-intimacy and self-acceptance, but have instead projected these qualities outside of myself and have then attempted to 'find' intimacy and acceptance outside of myself, within this abdicating my responsibility for living self-intimacy and self-acceptance, abdicating my directive-principle and my power to other people and relationships in separation from myself, expecting intimacy and acceptance to be 'given' to me so that I can 'take' it, 'have' it, 'possess' it, not realizing that I am within this making myself slave to whatever promises to 'give me' intimacy, acceptance or validation.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever a point of desired validation exists within self, it is an indication that one is not living self-acceptance in self-responsibility, but exists in self-separation as self-image only, expecting and desiring that self-image to be 'validated' by others/the world, as if such 'validation' could ever make us in fact worthy of life, worthy of ourselves; as if such 'validation' could ever support us in living self-acceptance and self-intimacy -

on the contrary: whenever 'validation' or 'acceptance' is given, what is TAKEN AWAY is self-responsibility, self-worth, self-acceptance. And it's not even 'taken away', it is in fact self that’s abdicating self, it is self giving-away one's self-power and self-responsibility out of self-dishonesty in form of the accepted 'inferiority' and self-separation.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my power and compromise myself in the belief that if I am 'liked' and ‘accepted’ by others then I must be 'good', I must be 'worthy'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed who I am to be determined and defined by external factors in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from self-worth and self-acceptance, and that I've looked for 'worth' and 'acceptance' through others, giving others the power and authority to decide, determine and define 'my worth', 'my value', 'me'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be defined and determined by other people's words, actions and feedback - instead of realizing that though such acceptance I am abdicating the power and the authority to others to determine 'who I am'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place value and trust in other people's words, actions and feedback - instead of standing in self-trust and being the directive principle that determines who I am.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where our value as life is apparently not given by birth, but must be 'attained' through 'schooling' and 'education', through the 'acceptance' and 'approval' of others and our 'success' in the system.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a parenting system of 'education' that manipulates children with bipolar concepts of 'reward' and 'punishment', teaching children to respond to 'reward' with the perception of 'more self-worth' and to respond to 'punishment' with the perception of 'less self-worth' - and within this children learn to measure their self-worth on external feedback, regardless of the motives of those giving the feedback.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions on 'feelings' of 'positive' and 'negative' - instead of realizing that such 'feelings' are the conditioned responses of my self-consciousness as programmed to respond through the initial years of my life, wherein I 'learned' to categorize what makes me feel 'more' and what makes me feel 'less', thus later making decisions based on these concepts in an attempt to 'feel better', 'feel more' - while in fact abdicating my self-worth to emotional states that are not even induced by me myself but are subject to external stimuli and situations; thus within this abdicating my power of determining who I am to external factors.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we manipulate ourselves and each-other through feelings and emotions, 'positive' and 'negative' - while we fail to address the actuality of reality, to investigate who we are and what the consequences of our existence are, both for ourselves and each-other.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that there exist such thing as self-manipulation, wherein we manipulate ourselves into self-dishonesty to remain in the 'known', that which 'feels good', that which will never challenge us to grow, to change or to reconsider our acceptances and allowances; wherein we manipulate ourselves into justifying our decisions, our choices, our behavior, out of fear of losing all that which we've allowed to determine who we are as 'worthy', all that which we've allowed to decide what our value is, all that which we've placed value into, in separation from ourselves.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we build our relationships on manipulation through feelings and emotions, something we can see within the smallest of children and how they will throw tantrums to get the attention of the parents, to within that get the energy of 'feeling worthy' of the parents attention or of 'feeling powerful' for managing to manipulate the parents and 'win' their attention --

without considering that these children will someday utilize these exact manipulation techniques in the world, in their relationships, in their work environments, and so we build societies and systems of manipulation and competition for 'energy' as attention, value and, in essence, profit.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the desire for relationship is in fact the desire for profit - as the hidden motive for a relationship as cultivated in this world is the validation of one's personality, the approval of one's value and the increase of one's worth - and within this it is evident that such desire is all about self-interest, which is equal to: profit.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world, a society, that does nothing to promote, develop and cultivate relationships of actual life support, intimacy and respect; a society and a parenting system that does nothing to teach the child/the individual the values of self-trust, self-acceptance, self-worth, self-dignity -

and within this we can see that all systems of this world including the family-system exist from the starting-point of fear of loss and desires based on self-interest according to concepts of 'value' as taught in this world; and that all systems of this world including the family-system exist within and through polarity manipulation and completely fail to communicate the matters at hand and deal with what really matters.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we are subject to our mental and emotional reactions, but never learn to understand how we create them, never learn to understand the implications of existing within and through mental and emotional reactions, never learn how to deal with and direct ourselves within and as such energetic play-outs, so that we may bring forth relationships and ways of life that are best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed a world where we hide from ourselves and each-other, create fake values to hide behind to not have to face the fact that we have abdicated the value of life to a system of abuse and exploitation, a system that exists and operates both within and without –

and while we do have the evidence and the intellect to learn from the manifested consequences of our world, the reality we all share: those that could stand up and show what is going on, at least in their field of expertise, are equally subject to and driven by profit, fear and greed - thus only presenting 'results' and 'studies' that will protect them and that will support profit, through for instance the increased need for medications and psychiatric “support”, the obsession with beauty and ‘anti-age’, the promotion of sexualized images etc etc;

instead of giving the individual the power to get to know themselves and be the one to stand-up from the accepted pit of despair, be the one to save oneself, be the one to heal oneself -- because then we would not require the whole spectrum of 'expertise' that is in fact only based in profit, seen in the extent to which corporations have a say in matters of physical and mental health, nutrition, and basically every point of ‘education’ in this world.

And so we are educated to become consumers, seeking for our relief and salvation in external factors and remedies, seeking for approval and worth in everything and everyone else but ourselves.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world, a society, where we make each-other ‘feel good’ to not have to face ourselves; we ‘give’ each-other ‘acceptance’ and ‘value’ while we do not live self-acceptance and self-worth. This goes to show that ‘feeling’ is not real, is not showing the actuality of reality; it is a mental point of self-manipulation – it is self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the mental based on triggered reactions as conditioned ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ – and within that I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed the mind to define and determine who I am, instead of standing-up within myself and taking directive to be the one to determine who I am in self-honesty as life, in full self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world where we have abused the word ‘responsibility’ into fear, control and manipulation, and where we do not in fact teach our children to be self-responsible in self-honesty.

Instead we teach them manipulation and deception and that responsibility is something to be feared, ignored, abdicated to others; and so we manifest relationships of dependency and abuse, in which we fail to support ourselves and each-other in getting to know ourselves in self-honesty and self-intimacy, in acknowledging the value of life within ourselves and each-other, in growing and expanding beyond fears and limitations of the past, in studying and transforming the history of mankind into a co-existence of which we can really be proud of as our creation.

I commit myself to investigating all ways in which I have abdicated my responsibility and directive power – so that I may forgive myself, let go of the mind-control, and take back the power to determine who I am, how I will live, and how I may contribute to my world to bring forth the change I would like to see and experience – as what’s best for all life.

I commit myself to investigating and stopping all ways in which I am participating in manipulation and self-manipulation – so that I may remove the mind-control from within and stand as equal within my world.

I commit myself to letting go any and all ways in which I seek to be ‘validated’ and ‘accepted’ – so that I may develop and establish self-acceptance, self-worth, self-trust.

I commit myself to investigating and forgiving all points within which I have placed ‘trust’ in separation from myself – so that I may stop all dependency and walk in self-trust as an equal of life.

I commit myself to demonstrating that interdependence does not have to mean dependency – and that in fact in this world we have abused the word to justify how we deny and ignore the interdependence of life, how we disregard that we are responsible not only for ourselves but also for each-other, because who we are within and how we interact and participate in our reality affects not only ourselves but also each-other, our world, the whole.

I commit myself to demonstrating that a solution for our world cannot deny the interdependence of life – and that in fact only within considering and acknowledging our interdependence as life on this planet are we able to establish ways of life that will honor life and systems of support that will care for all life equally.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself and my world in a process of self-realization, so that we may let go of the fears and limitations of the past, stop the accepted mind-control form the inside-out, get to know ourselves in self-honesty and self-intimacy, acknowledge the value of life within ourselves and each-other, grow and expand in self-responsibility and self-fulfilment, understand and transform the history of mankind into a co-existence of which we can really be proud of as our creation.