Day 12: Everything is in Reverse

That which one resist and deny the most is often a door to self-realization and the truth/the actuality of oneself.

That which one defends most dearly is often another brick in the wall of self-delusion.

Everything is in reverse.

That which we fear often holds the key to self-expansion and transcendence.

That which we love is often the box of our limitation, the very cage of our enslavement.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see and realize that I as the mind do not want to change in spite of the evidence all around me that change is required.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind as self-consciousness is not who I really am - as I can see that a baby that comes into this world does not yet have a mind consciousness, yet it is able to interact and communicate with all and everything that is here directly and attentively, without fear.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge that as we are 'educated' and 'informed' to become 'formed' in this world we are slowly but surely losing our inherent connection to life as ourselves and everything that is here, and then spend a lifetime 'missing' that connection and searching for it in all kinds of external things like 'god' and 'love' and 'light' or ‘sex, drugs and rock’n’roll’- instead of going back to the origin of life as self beyond the limitations and delusions of the mind.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place value in intellect and ideas of grandeur, when it is self-evident that the more power one has in this world through money, education, status: the more one becomes self-righteous, the more one sees the need to ‘protect’ one’s self-interest, the more abuse one inflict, accept and allow against life as oneness and equality - instead of power being equal to responsibility and those that are in positions of greater power and fortune in fact taking the responsibility to support and empower those that are in positions of lesser power and fortune.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to acknowledge that what we call life is not life in fact - because life is given to all equally and is thus an expression of GIVING, while evidently this current existence and world system is an expression of TAKING.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I must in fact give what I would like to receive and not wait for others to give first before I start giving; and that I must forgive myself first and not wait for others to forgive. This is the way of self-responsibility and self-movement – an actual initiation - and the only point from which change can come forth and a new way of life lived into beingness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to follow the fuzzy logic of my self-consciousness that is based in self-interest, separation and greed/fear and is thus only focused on TAKING - instead of acknowledging and accepting myself as life and thus as capable of GIVING.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to forGIVE myself for the self-abuse, self-diminishment and self-degradation I have allowed through accepting a system of abuse and exploitation as if it were 'life', when in fact it is the parasite that feeds off of life, consumes life, just like we consume ourselves and each-other through the mental within concepts of inequality where the "I" is in a constant race to "win" while we enslave the physical as we disregard the equality of the physical like the air we all breathe and the requirements we have in common to ensure our survival on this planet as the dust we all return to.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that that which is keeping me from forGIVING myself is the very parasite that I recognize in the world as a system of self-interest, separation and greed/fear that is unwilling to let go of the which it believes it owns and possesses; and that self-consciousness exists as such a system within, based on the same functions and principles the world-system / money-system is based on, which is in essence Fear.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that Fear is what my self-consciousness will use to keep me as life in check and use my life spark only for its own purposes of self-preservation - as self-consciousness is defined through the definitions it has formed about itself and the world and thus through that which it already 'knows' as the fuzzy logic it has developed to 'explain'/ 'reason'/ 'justify' why it exist the way it does and why the world is as we know it and thus why apparently no change is possible or even required – out of fear of loss and the desire for ‘power’/’control’.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I've been sabotaging and compromising myself through and as the self-consciousness that inhabits me: a system programmed by this world to serve the world as we know it, instead of serving life as the giver of life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed fear to keep me trapped within the habits that inhabit me and inhibit my expansion, expression and blossom as life – even though I see and experience the limitation, constriction and enslavement of myself within and as this consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place value in the fuzzy logic of my self-consciousness and to place pride within how I am "able" to explain why I am the way I am and why things are the way things are - instead of realizing that each one is utilizing their 'logic' based on one's own self-consciousness and that that 'logic' is set to only validate and justify one's own self-consciousness, one's own bubble of existence, one's own self-interest - while missing all common sense and failing to utilize the mind as a tool that could serve life in a responsible, self-directive way, taking into consideration and regarding all life equally in the understanding that we must stop the power-games, stop the cycles of abuse, blame, revenge, stop history from repeating and write a new script as solution for humanity to be practically lived as that which is best for all in all possible ways.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I have become my own self-enslavement through the mind as the mind, as I have become the mind system as self-consciousness while I suppress and deny and hide myself in the depths of my being and allow the system parasite of self-interest, greed, ego, fear to exist through me as me, making my decisions for me and manifesting this world as we know it.

I commit myself to forgiving myself and letting go of ego as the self-consciousness that drives me - so that I may be and become the directive principle of myself as life to make informed decisions in life that will support and honor life as the real actual value of all and everything.

I commit myself to stopping fear as I understand that fear is the fuel of self-consciousness, fear is that which tells us we have to 'protect' ourselves from ourselves and each-other and thus we spend a lifetime hiding and protecting and constricting ourselves while we completely miss life and the opportunity to live and be equal to this creation as creators, bringing forth an existence that is best for all.

I commit myself to investigating and exposing the evil ways of self-consciousness - as I realize that it is the same system within and without that we have allowed to govern our hearts and enslave us through fear ('inferiority') and ideas of grandeur ('superiority') and so we are trapped in mental polarities while we miss the equality of life that is here as ourselves waiting for us to wake up, to stop the fear, to see what is here, to see that WE ARE HERE, and therefore we are able to trans-form what is here to what is best for all - best for all life equally.