Sonntag, 11. Mai 2014

Day 512 | Redefining the word Expectations

So, looking at ‘my expectations’, I realized that my expectations, even the relevant ones, are always some idealized ideas and I remembered what once Sunette told me on the farm, quite in the beginning – that I was walking my day in a way as if I at the beginning of the day would project myself into some idea/ideal of who I am supposed to be /how the day is supposed to be - and then constantly being in the 'reach-out', like projected 'out there'.
So instead of living the relevant expectations - I had used the point of value as in the word ‘enough’ to sabotage myself and keep myself small, while I could keep on 'dreaming'/'imagining' the 'perfection or perfect conditions'.
Which now reminds me of something Bernard once said to me - "it's about who you are when things are NOT perfect..."
Also - within walking and deconstructing the word ‘enough’, I can see once again how the solution is always multiple times simpler than the problem - like here with my definitions of the word ‘enough’ as 'problem' in my mind, and the actual definition of the word’s expression as the 'solution' in the physical: where I can say “this is enough! I now direct and change this!”

So what I have found is that, okay, all my expectations are mental projections and exist in the context of ‘perfection’ –
and in working with the word ‘ENOUGH’ I diffused the polarity (where ‘perfection’ is the positive-polarity of ‘not being enough’, all in the light of validation and a ‘value’ separate from self-worth as life) –
so all my expectations are mental projections and exist in the context of ‘perfection’ – but I can transform that which was merely a positive projection into practical positive change.

I realize and understand that perfection is a process, and that I am able to practically live a process of self-perfection through self-commitment in the simplest moments in my everyday life, in all aspects of my life in fact. This perfection process is an equal and one process, there is no projected positivity or comparison to some superior ideal; it is simply the understanding of what it will take to create/manifest/experience/live that which one wants to live/develop/manifest as real value, and then realizing one can only walk this self-perfection process breath by breath – taking responsibility for one breath at a time, one point at a time. It is possible to live and walk in real-time. We are still far from that.

So – looking at what the word Expectations practically/physically express – I mean in common sense how can you practically expect something that you didn’t create/initiate? – I see that I require to effectively re-assess/structure my expectations based on and aligned with what physically exists and what is physically possible in my physical reality/world as well as who I am and what my abilities and qualifications are currently.
In other words, I can expect that which I am already busy creating/initiating/manifesting – or just accepting and allowing in ignorance and unawareness.
I realize thus that Expectations in practical common sense should be aligned with the projected accumulation of that which I am busy living and manifesting – in every moment, with every breath.
And things take time in physical reality, thus it is to not have expectations as mental projections ‘out there’ to mentally and emotionally distract me from being here in every moment!

So here, I redefine the words ‘my expectations’ from being an inflated/superior projection of myself ‘out there’ in separation from Me Here whereby I within that in fact implied that Me Here is ‘less than’/inferior – to simply be the projected result of that which I have committed myself to live/accumulate in the various aspects of my life and living.

Therefore, my expectations should equal the calculated consequences as cause & effect, whereby I am the directive principle.

The word/expression of ‘My Expectations’ thus also entails Self-Responsibility.

It is because I can see the accumulation/result/consequences of my participation in my world/reality that I realize: I have/I place these particular expectations upon myself/upon these particular aspects of my life because I take responsibility for myself/for these particular points.

I therefore realize that I am responsible for each and every point that I am faced-with throughout my life; and that in the context of LIFE as Value I require to be response-able in every moment as I live and participate in my world/reality. It doesn’t mean I have to say ‘yes’ to everything that crosses my way but it does mean to in any case make a directive decision and make a stand = determine who I am in the context of that moment/point/situation. Because that moment is about to have an effect on myself as well as has an effect on another’s life. Will I subject myself and others/another to ‘coincidence’, to preprogrammed patterns? Or will I make a decision as to who I am as in how I stand in relation to the moment/point and how I will direct myself and thus the context too into a best outcome that is supportive of LIFE in that it allows for communication, for expansion, for potential, for growth and real self expression.

This brings us back to the point of Self Responsibility – Next post to follow.

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