An Earthling's Journey to Life

http://desteni.org/articles

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ART by Ann van den Broeck and Matti Freeman

Day 53: From Self-Image to Self-Trust

For further context see my previous blog posts:

Self-Worth and Self-Image | Who or What Defines Me?

Images & Ideals in a Men's World System

What Image and Likeness - Man as God or Evil?

Your Desires are Not your Own

"You judge You or You create You. There is no middle road."

- Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist from the starting-point of judgment and thus equally in constant self-judgment through and as the mind.

I commit myself to seeing judgment for what it is: the trap of polarity, the fruit of the tree of knowledge as good and evil – as I realize that the 'good' in this world is equal to 'evil'.

I forgive myself that I had not yet allowed myself to fully comprehend the words of Jesus "Judge not lest you be judged" – and to realize that all judgement we cast out always returns to its origin: which is self; and all judgment we cast out is always equal to and one with its origin: which is self; thus all judgment is in fact self-judgment in denial of the responsibility to change.

I commit myself to stopping all judgment within and without, and instead of placing my attention on value-judgments, I place my attention on what is Here as I breathe - and so I walk this life breath by breath, as I realize that who I am is the result of what I accumulate as me in every breath.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world, a society, where we judge our children based on our ‘morality values’, which god knows are screwed otherwise this world would be an entirely different place.

I commit myself to exposing the evil of ‘morality’ in the current system which is based in fuzzy logic to ‘justify’ self-interest and the continuing abuse and exploitation of life – and to establish a new morality based on the value of life, where we in fact support life as ourselves and each-other and no longer ‘educate’ our children based on ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’ but actual learning as self-realization and practical common sense.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that practical common sense does not include judgment - but merely the practical consideration of cause and effect, thus it is not based in morality systems but only on the value of life as what's best for all - life as the common value we all share.

I commit myself to move myself on the basis of practical common sense considerations as what's best for life - because clearly that is what is best for me too.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as self-image, conceived and manifested through the mental in the image and likeness of the system: through comparison, judgment, competition – as I realize that within existing as self-image we fail to establish self-trust, as we separate ourselves from ourselves as life and become merely a persona in this world, placing trust in the concepts, ideas and ‘values’ presented to us by the system.

I commit myself to letting go of any and all preconceived ideas and self-definitions that make-up the self-image I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become in the image and likeness of the world consciousness system - so that I may get to know myself as life, as creator;

and as I walk in self-honesty of what I have become and what this world has become, as I walk the purification of me and my world through self-forgiveness and corrective application: I develop and establish self-trust, proving to myself that I can trust me to live my word, that I can trust me to create me in self-dignity, that I can be trusted with life and thus with the creation of myself and equally of a new world based on the value of life, a new world that will be best for all in all possible ways.

I commit myself to bringing an end to the current system of fake ‘values’ – and establishing a new system of actual life-support, based on the value of life, that will assist and support all human beings equally to self-realize the value of life.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to seek for myself 'out there', when I have been here the whole time. Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself through concepts and ideas of 'self-realization', 'enlightenment', 'attainment', 'success', within projecting and following desires, wants and needs in separation from myself – thus existing only as self-image and not as life in self-trust and self-worth.

I commit myself to Living who I am as self-worth equal to life and taking back the power I've abdicated to the mental; so that I may practically walk every breath Here in self-equality and oneness, piecing myself back together in self-honesty and common sense, thus the effect of my cause being equal to life, which is the way to manifest life on earth as what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to look outside of myself for answers to the question "who am I?" - instead of realizing the self-deception within this and the acceptance of being defined and determined by the system in the image and likeness of the world as we know it.

I commit myself to no longer allow myself to be defined and determined by what is outside of me as judgements, opinions, ‘values’ of this world that is based in fear, separation, consumerism - and to develop absolute self-honesty as 'man know thyself', as I realize that within living and expressing myself in self-honesty, I develop self-trust and take back the power that comes with self-responsibility, which I had abdicated to a system in separation from myself.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new system where children are allowed to explore and discover who they are in self-honesty, self-dignity, self-realization, based on the value of life as oneness and equality, without the brainwashing and pressure imposed onto them like in the current system that is designed to create controllable robots as slaves to the system merely preoccupied with keeping the system running.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to a system to create me – in spite of the common sense I was able to see as a child; yet I had no tools, no support and no communication skills to express myself and what I was seeing.

I commit myself to bringing forth a world where the support foundation is laid out for the children to be born into an environment that allows each child to live, express and expand to its utmost potential without being brainwashed by arrogant adults who pretend to know it all when they don’t even know themselves.

I commit myself to re-educating myself and my world, assisting myself and my world in developing self-honesty, self-worth, self-respect and actual communication skills, so that we may bring forth the change we all want to see in the world – because unless WE establish the platform and make available the tools for all life to be supported equally toward actual freedom and dignity, we cannot expect from the children to come to be any different than what we accept ourselves to be and what we allow our world to become.

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:

http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:

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No Gods, No Masters, No Slaves. Self-Empowerment Here.

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Day 48: MIND over MATTER - Part 2

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever a being decides to change, there's going to be physical resistance; and one can see this within how the body will become 'heavy' or 'tired' or will 'contract' or have a certain 'sensation' - and then one will say "I don't feel like it" or "I'm too tired" or "I can't right now" or "I'll do it next time": this is how the mind has trained the body to abide to the self-interest of consciousness which is always based in fear and the desire for self-preservation as that is what gives consciousness the perception of 'control' and 'safety'.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the perception of 'control' and 'safety' is how we have programmed ourselves to remain in the accepted knowledge and information of 'who we are' and how the world is; and that it will take actual courage to move through the perception of 'control' and 'safety' manifested as the physical resistance that comes up in moments that are in fact windows of opportunity toward change in self-direction.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to entertain 'good intentions' in the mind without changing in the physical, in actuality, is self-deception - and that one can see, if one look self-honestly, how most 'good intentions' end-up creating a hell of an experience as consequence when there is no equal and one physical-application that make the 'good intentions' real in fact.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that we are here on earth to 'prove' ourselves to ourselves in the physical, not in the mind - as in the mind anyone can be a 'hero', anyone can be 'god', anyone can make oneself believe that one has 'good intentions'; However, mental realization is only useful if it is put into practical application in physical living, otherwise any and all realization is useless and will drive a being deeper into self-dishonesty, because in spite of seeing and realizing, one does not in fact act, one does not in fact change.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that when I give in to physical resistances: I am giving in to the conditioned mind consciousness I have become, and am not giving myself the chance to expand beyond the auto-pilot of the mind imposing itself onto the physical through my own acceptance and allowance, not giving myself the chance to self-realization = making myself real within and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that everything is here, as I am here, and that the only component missing is the SELF-WILL of me as life taking the directive to transcend and transform the ILL will of the MIND that is conditioned in polarities of fears and desires, projected as 'inferiority' and 'superiority', only following self-interest as Ego.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that that which is the self-interest of consciousness as Ego is not in the best interest of me as a being, as life; because self-consciousness was not born of life, it was born of the system and formed in the image and likeness of the system without my directive will, only through my acceptance and allowance and submission.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this physical existence is the place where it is and will be revealed who is real as life as directive power, with the courage to stand in the interest of life/all, and who is illusion as mind as polarity-design of self-consciousness in separation from life/all;

and that this is and will be revealed not only within our existence and experience individually, but also within the greater picture of the world-system, where money is the mind of the system, dictating existence in terms of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', attempting to always have control and power over existence by selling experiences through perception, with politics the 'good intentions' that only ever make promises but never in fact act to bring forth what is best for life in actuality.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it's gonna take courage and self-will to walk through the resistances imposed by habit as our conditioned existence both within and without; and it's gonna take BREATHING and actual physical self-movement, to not accept or allow the weight of the past to keep us waiting/weighting - so that we may break through the invisible walls of the mind/system and birth ourselves as life in the physical: re-birthing ourselves AND the world system equally, in a way that will support all life.

I commit myself to flagging the points of physical resistance I am facing - so that I in the moment of resistance: I BREATHE, realize what I am facing, and walk through the resistance in self-directive will, aligning my thoughts, words and deeds to life as equality and oneness, no longer accepting or allowing the mind/system to dictate who I am, no longer accepting or allowing myself to give in to the limitations of the mind/system that have been ingrained in my physical through repetition breath by breath;

thus it's gonna take many breaths to break the patterns of existence and practically breath-by-breath program into my physical a new way of life that is of actual support for life as who I really am.

I commit myself to make it a point of my daily training: to walk through resistances whenever such come-up - so that I may within this develop and establish self-will, self-trust and self-worth, while becoming the directive principle of me in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that "mind over matter" only lasts for so long, while the mind consciousness of belief and perception manifest as personalities through which we then interact in our world as pictures in a picture-world, never really getting to know ourselves or each-other - and while the mind consciousness impose itself onto the physical as its master and dictator, it refuses to see that without the physical it cannot exist;

and while it feeds on the physical, the physical deteriorates and eventually returns to the earth, leaving the personality without fuel and thus without life -

and so within this we can see that: it is the PHYSICAL that is LIFE, it is the PHYSICAL that GIVES life, it is the PHYSICAL that is born of life and returns to life, while consciousness is born of the system and returns to nothingness, as it has no actual substance, no life of its own: it has only been exploiting the substance of the physical, the breath of life, through our acceptance and allowance, as we waste our breath on the mind, on self-interest, on concepts of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', instead of embracing our breath as life, embracing ourselves and each-other as life, embracing this earth as life, and establishing an existence of common sense - as we all breathe the same air.

I commit myself to walking myself out of the mind - through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application; through pushing through any resistances that may come up as I take the directive to stop the abusive system within and without and become equal to and one with LIFE.

I commit myself to sharing the urgent necessity for practical physical living, so that we may develop a new understanding of ourselves, evolution, development, education - so that we may bring forth a new system for our world within which we will in fact be able to learn how this physical reality functions and what creation in fact entails, and become aware of and understand the responsibilities that come along with being creators; realizing the interconnectedness and thus interdependence of life and that we cannot deceive and harm others without in essence deceiving and harming ourselves.

Relevant Blogs:

MIND over MATTER

The Visible and the Invisible

Picture Perfect Delusion

Relevant Vlogs:

Pavlov's Dog: The Consciousness (ConScience) of Human Logic

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:

For support and discussions visit:

Visit my Blog sites:

@ eqafe for FREE:

* Self-Awareness Steps for the Elite

* Spirituality and Rebirth

* Check out the NEW SONG RELEASE by Robot Virgins featuring MatterFreeMan - What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< FREE MP3-Download

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Day 43: The End of Searching - Return to Innocence

Within investigating energetic addiction as that one point each one is 'carrying', 'following', 'looking and yearning for', I am realizing that it's about parts of ourselves we've separated ourselves from and then set out to 'find'.

We don't know 'how to' get there, but we are in everything that we do striving towards 'something', and within that we hold a certain 'attitude' towards life, manifested in how we live, how and why we do things, how we participate in our relationships in our world.

So that One point within each one, projected as energetic feelings of positivity, a future salvation, a revelation, ascension, highest experience, enlightenment, getting home - whatever you may call it – comes undefined and foggy from the depths of our being and is driving each one toward 'out there' to 'seek and find', keeping one hoping and thus waiting, and the more one seek the further away that 'something' seems, or sometimes for fleeting moments it seems so close, yet never Here; because within this whole process of ‘seeking’ and ‘searching’ we get further and further away from the core of our beingness, from ourselves.

The nature of relationships one has throughout one's life, the patterns that play-out within that: can reveal much about that One point. Because it will be the One point that is not allowing one to have relationships of Hereness, giving it your all, living your all, embracing whatever comes up within self with an invitation to tell its story, to unfold, so that self can expand, see, self-realize, forgive and let go, and thus set self free from the conditioned past and get to the self-clarity and self-honesty it requires to start re-creating oneself and one's life, re-defining oneself in self-awareness, making new agreements for one's life as co-existence in this physical reality, making new agreements for one's relationships, this time in full awareness and self-honesty.

Who and how self is toward relationships reveals who and how one is toward oneself within the mind. What one wishes for and expects from a relationship, is what one is 'missing' within and from oneself;

Because we do not learn to fulfil ourselves, to give life to ourselves, to communicate with ourselves in actuality, we do not really get the opportunity to express and unfold ourselves as individual beings and develop self-trust and self-worth as life.

So we do not develop that actuality-based intimate relationship with ourselves that would enable us to have an insight of who we are and how we create ourselves; If we would, we would see what goes on inside our minds, what drives us, how we move within life; what are we allowing to hold us back, what is the nature of our addictions and why, how are we limiting and sabotaging ourselves - we would see, understand and realize how we abdicate our life-authority, first to the systems of the world and then, with growing-up, to the mind consciousness to 'do the job for us'.

And because we are not really the ones 'doing', not the ones moving ourselves, not the ones making our own decisions (the mind consciousness does it for us through our programmed beliefs, our conditioned emotional- and feeling-reactions, our internal conversations and backchat, the images we hold and attach values to, words and definitions that we've given power over us...) -

...because we are not really the ones ‘driving our vehicle’, we are sitting on the back seat and have an autopilot doing most of the job while we follow, and at the same time kind of looking for a better driver 'out there somewhere' or for a 'higher vehicle' or whatever the picture fits.

But we are not realizing that to get what we REALLY are looking for - we have to give it to ourselves, we have to become the driver in absolute certainty, in absolute responsibility, in absolute clarity and, yes, humbleness... equality and oneness, Here, fully, complete: I am Here.

It's only from that actual I am Here as an absolute certainty, a Living Word - only from this starting-point of self-equality and oneness that we are able to actually move ourselves, to direct ourselves, to make decisions, to determine who we are and how we walk this life and why.

The self-realization of I am Here is the ultimate End of searching, is the ultimate 'enlightenment' possible in this physical reality - and the only relevant one to state the obvious.

It's fascinating how people expect, hope and believe that they can be something more in some other reality, the ‘afterlife’, the 'higher realms' or whatever it is one believe in;

But how can we be anything more or higher in any other/higher reality, when we haven’t even gotten to know, understand and realize this one physical reality in all its multidimensions and interconnections, in all cause and effect of its patterns, realizing self within the context of the whole!

So - is this 'endless search' within the mind an addiction?

Is it an energetic projection of ourselves 'out there somewhere'?

Is it a justification to not stand-up and do what it takes to redeem Life Here?

Is it an excuse to keep dreaming, hoping, waiting?

Is it a mechanism of the mind-consciousness system to keep us preoccupied and 'lost' so that consciousness may preserve its authority over and occupation of the physical body as the being (the being that is born into this world as a physical body only, with no conditioned consciousness or preconceived ideas)?

Is it the protection-mechanism of the self-consciousness we have become in our quest to 'understand the world', so that it doesn't have to let go of its knowledge, its definitions, its self-image, its possessions and thus its perceived 'security' and 'safety' of "this is where my place is in this game and everything is okay"?

These are questions we each require to self-honesty answer for ourselves, if we want to get ourselves onto the actual driver seat and be the directive principle of ourselves.

To understand ourselves as the mind we have to look at the existential patterns of ourself that is sitting in the back seat;

to then transform and re-form the mind within and as self-honesty and self-dignity as life.

To understand ourselves as the physical we have to look at the vehicle, the how we move, what moves us, what influence us, how does that mind-control work from the inside out;

to then transform and reform the vehicle as physical living in absolute awareness and self-responsibility as life.

So it's fascinating that the three separate points (the vehicle, the autopilot, the self in the back seat) are actually able to become a one and equal point of/as directive principle.

We can in fact look at how one in fact is all three points: the being, the body, the mind - yet in separation;

where the being is trapped in the mind through the consciousness of this world that the being tunes-into and becomes part of, having separated itself from itself as physical being, and with time the mind as autopilot gets to drive both the being and the physical into more and more separation, suppression, deterioration.

We are the mind-consciousness. It's who and what we become. Yet we are it in unawareness, we are it divided and systematically automated: into conscious, subconscious and unconscious parts of ourselves.

And within that, we become the opposite of life/LIVE which is EVIL: we become beings of self-dishonesty, self-sabotage, self-interest, sneakiness, nastiness, cowardice, arrogance. We are all and everything that we hate, all that we judge and fear, all we despise, all that we spite;

All and everything is Here, within and as ourselves, in little corners of our minds, saved as memories of words, pictures, interpretations and definitions, relationship experiences and our reactions to them, our value-judgements, our conclusions and vows – all of this past determines all of our movements through the conscious, subconscious and unconscious, and maybe that is so because we don’t see, because we do not look.

And whenever things push to come out, there's this self that has become such a coward that all it does is put up a nice face and go "oh no, I am good person, I am okay" - and so self literally only exists as Ego, trying to control all its multiple personalities ranging from 'negative' to 'positive', suppressing and denying the ‘negative’ and superimposing and projecting the ‘positive’ – and within that illusion of control self as Ego becomes ‘comfortably’ numb, especially once one has developed the fuzzy ‘logic’ that apparently explains and justifies one’s existence, acceptances and allowances.

So self is looking for self, but not considering: How can we have the ‘positive’ for real when we deny and suppress the ‘negative’? How can we get something ‘out there’ when we don’t even look right Here?

Why do we seem to not have the courage to bring it all Here, become aware, see, acknowledge and embrace everything as self and then finally 'do something about it'?

Will it take courage to amalgamate, forgive and transform everything of self in self-awareness?

Yes.

Is it the only way to actual self-realization as life, as creator, as responsible and self-willed individual in the context of this reality?

Yes.

Is the conditioned energetic experience of each one as self-consciousness going to protest and resist and defend itself and bring up reasons, excuses, justifications why there's other ways to 'get there'?

Yes.

It's fascinating because it's always gonna be the justification of "my way" that one will 'fall' at, which is the path of defending one's limitations and submitting to the fear of losing what one 'know' or 'who one is', the fear of 'losing control' - when in fact one does not have control, it is the mind-consciousness that has the control and is quite sneaky at that too, because we have completely abdicated our responsibility, our authority, our directive principle to the mind do drive us, to do it for us;

not considered within this however is the nature of the mind as fear in accepted inferiority, existing thus to ‘superiorize’ itself, by 'protecting' the suppression of the physical being; 'protecting' its own self-definition; 'protecting' itself from its own fears; 'protecting' the beliefs, fears, desires the suppressed being as an evolving mind develops; 'protecting' its addictions as the perception of ‘security’, ‘power’ and ‘control’; 'protecting' itself from life which is unexpected, open, all-inclusive; 'protecting' its search for “something out there” - not allowing the being to realize that it is itself that it's looking for, and that THAT self is right HERE.

Within this, it is self-evident that the only place one has any power left as a being, is in the breath, in every moment. That is the window to the physical and out of the mind.

I breathe, therefore I am Here.

I am Here, therefore I breathe.

That is the simplest, yet a vital point of self-realization, self-will, self-movement - because even our breathing has become automated, and not only that, but emotional and mental reaction patterns have the power to alter and affect our breathing, which is also a form of mind-control, and they do so through our own acceptance and allowance: because we are not here, we are not the ones breathing.

Can that be changed?

Yes.

Is it simple?

Yes.

Is it is easy?

No.

Is that a valid excuse not to?

No.

Who decides whether it will be easy or not?!

The End of Searching is like the return to innocence.

I am Here. That's it. It is enough. I have me. I am here breathing. I am in this world. How does the world look like? How do things work? What kind of world would I like to live in? How do I make that possible?

The Return to Innocence in fact IS: The end of searching.

So how do one return to innocence?

One walk backwards, throughout all the moments of one's life that impulsed, formed and conditioned who one is today, how one is today, what defines one today, what makes up one's experience of oneself today.

Walking through the matrix of the self-creation that took place in unawareness through the conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind due to suppression, denial and separation: one will have to embrace oneself; one will have to allow oneself to see things for what they are; one will have to be humble; one will have to develop and establish self-honesty; one will have to remove the layers that cover-up and veil the core of one's being; one will have to forgive oneself; one will have to in self-will change the patterns of one's practical-living from self-suppression, self-sabotage, submission, separation and self-interest into self-honesty, self-support, self-equality, self-worth and practical common sense.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to 'protect' and 'justify' my existence of self-separation to not have to face myself and take self-responsibility for the entirety of me.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to delude myself into oblivion by creating relationships of separation and 'searching for' myself 'out there'; 'searching for' that something 'more', 'better', 'higher' that will give me the ultimate-experience of 'completeness' / 'fulfilment'.

Within this I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I am Here, and thus everything is Here as me, my creation - and thus what I've in fact been looking for and waiting for: is myself.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to go into submission and inferiority to such an extent that I've ended-up fearing my own fear, fearing myself, and thus remaining hiding and defending my limitations so that I don't have to face myself in full awareness.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself as self-consciousness in separation from life to in the image and likeness of this world-consciousness make-up justifications, excuses, reasons why I "cannot stand-up", "why bother", "it's not worth it", "what if...", "it's a risk", "I'm okay", "everything is under control", or "but I still have to...", "I need the experience of...", "I don't feel like it...", "I'm not ready" - etc.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is in MY hands, that I decide: whether through directive principle in self-honestly in full awareness OR through my acceptance and allowance of the unconscious patterns of my conditioned existence which I simply follow as they automatically play-out.

What will it be?

Who decides?

What are we waiting for?

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to make the decision of who I am as an absolute stand, even though I understand that it will take the accumulation of many breaths, breath by breath living the solution as me, within who and how I live, to manifest and establish me as life, as directive-principle, as a self-willed being walking in self-dignity as life;

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that this process can only be walked breath breath - as we cannot do 'more' than what can be done in a moment of breath; and cannot be 'more' than who/what/how we are a moment of breath.

I commit myself to the decision of walking a journey to life as I peel the layers of consciousness that veil my beingness.

I commit myself to walking this process breath by breath, training myself to be the directive-principle of me in every moment of breath.

I commit myself to walking in humbleness as I walk my process of bringing all parts of me Here through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application – so that I may transform all of me into a self-created practical living being that can be an example of self-dignity and integrity as life.

I commit myself to investigating and stopping any and all addictions / energetic projections through which I keep myself preoccupied, distracted and 'not here' - so that I may walk the realization of I am Here and become the authority of me as life, while I piece myself back together - so that I may in fact be Here and free to explore and expand my beingness for the first time.

I commit myself to walking this process of returning to innocence, stopping the accumulation of knowledge and information which is the result of my ‘endless search’ for "something", ‘out there somewhere’ –

so that I may work with, face and direct the knowledge and information I have already accumulated and in-formed myself through, until I re-create myself into a being no longer existing in fear, driven through mind-control from the inside out, no longer participating in power-games due to accepted 'inferiority' and trying go ‘get somewhere’ in an attempt for 'superiority', no longer always looping, trapped in polarity and separation –

so that I stand in self-equality and oneness, live self-expression in self-trust and self-acceptance, and bring forth an equal and one world system that will thus support all life into freedom, dignity and expression – as actual evolution.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that all the knowledge and information mankind has accumulated in its search throughout time: has Not brought forth actual solutions for human nature, neither individually nor collectively.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that we have not actually evolved or progressed, because we have attempted to do so in separation from ourselves.

I commit myself to showing and demonstrating that we have only evolved our tools and technology which is the externalization of the mind, and our money-system which is the externalization of energy as polarity-consciousness –

but we have not evolved our beingness, we have not evolved our ‘who we are’ and ‘how we exist’, we have not evolved the patterns of our existence/world into a better system that benefits life; because we have compromised our Awareness as Life to Consciousness as System, and have abdicated our authority to systems while we only occupied the back seat/the secret mind of ego, leaving our body and our earth, our very beingness, to the mercy of an autopilot that wasn’t even programmed by ourselves.

I commit myself to investigating, acknowledging and forgiving = taking responsibility for all automated patterns I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as – so that I may set myself free from the mind-control of the conditioned past and re-create myself in self-awareness as life, in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to establishing a self-honest relationship with myself – so that I may transcend the accepted self-separation and allow for the being, the body and the mind to amalgamate as one in self-equality, so that I may see, embrace and direct the entirety of me; so that I may be/become the directive principle of me here, as a self-willed being in this physical existence.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that each one individually will have to walk this process of ‘changing self’ through self-honesty, self-will, self-forgiveness – before we can start establishing relationships of actual life-support, dignity and respect, which will be an example and the foundation for the establishment of new systems for our world: systems based on the value of life that will thus support all life equally.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that everything is already Here:

We are already Here as humanity, and all we have to do is put our ego aside and work together as One group: LIFE.

Which is exactly the same process we are walking individually within self:

Realizing I am Here, thus it is to work with all of self in self-equality until I stand Here as ONE actual being: in full awareness, in self-realization as life, as creation, as creator.

Then the actual Journey to Life may begin... But first, let’s return to Innocence.

Relevant Must-Hear:

Bernard Poolman: Finding your Purpose in the Journey to Life

Reptilian Series: The Future of Consequence

Reptilian Series: Giving up Knowledge for Life

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Fear - Be Afraid, be Very Afraid

Toxic Fun - Drugs as Enslavement

What is the Solution to Fear?

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Self-Awareness Steps for the Elite

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Day 38: Give me more, more, more Energy

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we exist only for 'more'; where all our actions, thoughts, words are set to get us 'somewhere', where we miss the moment that is Here by following the mind that's trying to 'get somewhere', 'get something' - more, more, and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we create relationships only to get that 'something more' - all the while we miss ourselves, we fail to be Here for real as complete living beings, equal and one with the physical reality that is ourselves.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we do not live self-honesty, because we do not have an actual relationship with ourselves other the one that is dictated and driven through the backchat in our mind, where we THINK things ABOUT ourselves and others, but we do not allow ourselves to develop self-intimacy, self-acceptance, self-equality, to get to know who we really are.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a society where we are so bombarded with images and concepts of 'happiness', 'love', 'fulfilment', that we are always in a pursuit to make such images and concepts ‘real’ - but we can't, because we are trying to make something ‘real’ in separation from ourselves. We are only building illusions and are deluding ourselves into alternate realities, projections of our desires and expectations that are not even ours: but programmed and conditioned into a personality with certain backchat-thoughts as a framework based on which we then approach our world - to get that ‘something’ that will apparently ‘fulfil’ us, and within that we only fill ourselves up with energetic illusions, more, and more, and more.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an education system that develops us into competitors striving to conquer the world through our 'ascension' in all kinds of hierarchies - whether it is the job, the peers, the money, the sex, the image, the 'power'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed the brainwashing of self based on concepts of 'power' that place power more than life –

thus we have a money-system that places money more than life, a religion-system that places god more than life, a production-system that places profit before life, a science-system that places knowledge before life, a technology-system that places information before life, an education-system that places performance before life, a family-system that places competition before life, a media-systems that places idols, images and sensationalism before life;

and a society that places the ‘values’ of these systems before life, resulting to a society of individualized conquerors, where we'll divide to conquer what we can get, to get that ‘sensation’, while we exist in fear of each-other, jealousy and greed, in constant comparison and competition, unless we have 'found' the fellow preys that will validate our delusions as we validate theirs, and then we'll fake happiness and fulfilment because our life goes by 'our rules', but in fact it is the rules we are subjecting and limiting ourselves to: as the conditions we place for our conditioned 'reality' to continue existing as if everything is 'okay' and no change is required.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the conditions we place unto others: are the conditions we tacitly imply for ourselves equally –

yet we do not see the self-compromise because we do not look in self-honesty; we only look through the 'I' of the conditioned self-consciousness and its wants, needs, desires designed as a system by the system to keep us 'comfortably numb'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create 'rules' and 'conditions' for my happiness, my fulfilment, my existence - and within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to imprison myself within my own rules and suppress myself under my own conditions; allowing my own limitation through the concepts and ideas I have accepted in my mind ABOUT myself and ABOUT happiness, fulfilment, existence.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to let go of the accepted concepts and ideas of happiness and fulfilment, let go of the rules and conditions I've placed upon my existence - and dis-cover self-fulfilment within who I am, within what I GIVE, within giving me to me and living in a way that establishes self-fulfilment rooted in self-honesty, self-intimacy, self-discovery.

If we can see that what we call ‘life’ cannot really be what life is about - then we must be willing to let go of everything that is part of the matrix of what we call ‘life’ and be willing to discover ourselves from scratch; from the simplest things like breathing, touching, tasting, communicating.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed an existence where we try to communicate with our world through the mind, through programmed and conditioned pathways of information wrapped in labelled boxes of knowledge with a price-tag; within this communicating only about knowledge, about information, about labels and values in separation from ourselves as life -

instead of establishing genuine communication with ourselves to begin with: who am I as a physical body, who am I as breath, do I breathe with my body or do I allow an automated existence while I play god in the mind, imposing the wants and desires and fears of the mind onto the physical and thus instead of using the physical to communicate and interact with ourselves and our world: we abuse the physical to 'get what we want', to 'get more', and more, and more.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the mind ALWAYS wants 'more' - it is the nature of the mind to never be content, never be Here, but to always run around in circles searching, wanting, desiring, looking for: "something" out there somewhere - something that will give it more 'value', more 'power', more 'validation'. It is the survival-tactic of the mind to preserve itself as a persona, an idea, an image, a personality, a role in this game we call 'life' - a game where millions of lives are sacrificed in the name of profit, self-interest, greed.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we never learned to nurture and sustain ourselves as physical bodies, because we have instead been taught to feed the mind: through patterns of thoughts, backchat, pictures and words, as we create alternate realities through projections of energetic experiences of polarity;

and the mind feeds on all the energy it can get, and keeps generating friction bringing up the same loops of bipolar thoughts, re-creating beliefs and experiences over and over again: and we still buy into, we 'feel' it, we follow it, we are overpowered by it, we are driven and directed by it, as we have given away all our authority to the mind to get us 'forward', and in this: we are possessed by an automated pilot that has only one thing in mind: MORE for ME.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that instead of actually moving forward, we loop within our quest FORreWARd – REWARD - creating only WAR within and without; as we seek our 'evolution' through the mind, through technology, through depictions of reality, never getting to know the actual reality that is Here as ourselves to begin with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that we have not in fact brought forth any evolution, any transformation, and that the evolution of mankind is but a mutation where nothing has in fact changed in essence; whereby we don’t even understand energy, yet we follow its transformations from the 'positive' to the 'negative' in infinite loops, abdicating ourselves to the mercy of the energetic polarity forces within (mind consciousness) and without (money system), getting ourselves into more and more intense spirals of war and peace, love and hate, dominion and slavery.

I commit myself to investigating the polarity forces I have subjected myself to as I've followed the backchat and energetic experiences emerging from the mind as program - so that I may understand the program, stand equal to and one with the program I have become, and start using the mind in self-honesty as self-support, in realizing all that which is Not life, acknowledging where I have NOT been the directive power of me, and giving that authority back to myself to self-honestly determine a directive that will redeem life as myself and all that is Here.

I commit myself to showing how our world is subject to polarity forces we have created through the mental and imposed onto the physical, manifesting inequality and exploitation, disregarding the value of life, betraying life for 'energy', for the feeling of 'more', when we haven't even accepted ourselves Here, we haven't recognized ourselves as Life, we have only been existing within and as a matrix of words, pictures and polarity-energetics, that has been our mind-control, equal to and one with the money-system as world-system we have manifested as a reflection of ourselves:

as money is the energy everyone is trying to get 'more' of without, and 'value' is the energy everyone is trying to get 'more' of within.

I commit myself to bringing forth an existence, starting with myself, where we realize the value of life as who we are, and thus form our ways of life in honor of life as the actual value - as equality and oneness - to no longer accept or allow the separation of life and exploitation of substance for 'energy', because we are only consuming ourselves and each-other in a game where there can be no winners.

I commit myself to showing that a win-win system for all life is possible and simplistic, but it requires us to stop the game and re-educate ourselves, re-evaluate our 'values', learn from our mistakes and let go of the want /need /desire to control and dominate and abuse life in the name of self-interest /profit / 'power'.

I commit myself to showing that we have created false 'values' and false concepts of 'power' in this world, which we believe are 'infinite' in spite of the evidence that that is not so, shown by death, at the moment of which the personality, the possessions, the concepts no more exist and the body returns to its equality with earth, with it all our memories gone with the physical- and what remains of the personality is but a picture in the minds of the loved ones. Dust to dust.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider the symbolism depicted in the creation of man from the dust of the earth and the fact that man returns to the dust of the earth; and that if god created man in his image and likeness from the physical – then why does man not honor the physical as the substance we are all made of? Why does man not create with the physical a creation that will support all physical bodies including our planet, but only abuse the physical to create the illusions of the mind?

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if we place the mind as god - then we are its slaves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that in order to transcend the mind, to transform the mind into a tool of life-support: we have to understand the mind, how it functions and operates, how we exist through the mind and the implications of existing through the mind.

And that equally to transcend the money-system and transform money into a tool of actual life-support: we have to understand the laws and silent agreements /acceptances /allowances through which we have manifested the current money-system over time, how it operates and the implications of such a system as the consequences for this world, this existence.

I commit myself to never stop exposing the atrocity of the system we have accepted and allowed and the deception on which it is based - wherefrom we are manifesting only an illusion of 'life', betraying life in the name of profit, exploiting the very hand that feeds us because we want more and more and more, never considering ourselves in the context of the whole as a physical universe but only our self-interest in the mind-bubble we exist as.

I commit myself to bursting all my bubbles and getting myself Here, equal and one with this physical reality, my body, and every body else - so that I may self-realize life as what is REAL in fact.

I commit myself to getting to know and understand the physical through lifting the veils of the mind, stopping the ingrained mind-control through self-honesty and self-forgiveness, and establishing a self-honest communication with myself, studying cause and effect, and walking breath by breath in self-respect, until every thought, word and deed is aligned with my decision to stand for life, stand as life, and be the creator of myself in self-dignity – so that we may manifest an existence of dignity and respect for life, as it should have been from the beginning.

I commit myself to investigating and stopping all points where 'I am found wanting', all points where I see myself 'wanting more', all points where I have separated myself from the value of life, all points where I've abdicated my authority to the mind to tell me what I 'want', 'need' and 'desire' and what I must 'fear' - so that I may free myself from the conditioned mind-control that keeps me limited to a only a persona, an image, a picture in a picture-world; so that I may make myself REAL as life.

When and as I see myself going into 'wanting more' or following an energetic experience in the hope/need/desire to 'get more' and 'be more' and 'have more': I stop and I breathe, and I remind myself of the illusion of the mind in its constant and never-ending quest for something to feed on.

I commit myself to nurturing myself as life through self-honesty, self-intimacy, self-acceptance; and through slowing down to the breath, walking breath by breath and not rushing into the mind, establishing an actual relationship of self-honesty with myself so that I may give me to me, so that I may give life to me, so that I may give myself the right to life and birth myself as life from the physical, to LIVE -

and from here to establish our relationships of self-honesty and self-support, so that we may get to know ourselves and our world as the mind we have become, to understand our creation, acknowledge the consequences of inequality, separation and the infinite desire for ‘more’, and stand-up to transform our existence into LIFE, in equality and oneness so that we no longer compromise life as ourselves and our existence.

I commit myself to bringing forth a new system of equality that will allow all human beings to do exactly that, to no longer be preoccupied with competition, survival, and the quest for the false 'values' we buy into within the current consumerism system –

a new system that will give us all the time, the freedom and the support to deal with what really matters, to deal with the matters at hand, which is the human psyche and its creation that allows for half the world to exist in suffering and lack while we exploit the natural resources of our planet that are given unconditionally for the nurturing of all living beings if it weren’t for the dictatorship of the mind that has monopolized the distribution of resources, goods and knowledge to serve the false concepts of 'power' and 'value' as promulgated in this world system.

I commit myself to not stop until all life is free and the systems we create to manage us do so in a way that support all life equally.

Relevant Blogs:

Creation's Journey to Life: Rebirthing as Life

Creation's Journey to Life: The Courage to Live

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HOPE is a Four Letter Word

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Spirituality and Rebirth

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Day 33: Hope is Dope

While I was looking at the point of HOPE, a song from the 80s popped up in my head saying "I want a place to stay .... make my day...", and it did ring a bell in terms of what HOPE is/has been in my life.

This point of HOPE is one that exists as a consciousness construct throughout all our relationships: wherever we are not satisfied with the current state of affairs, hope comes up, and we start projecting future scenarios of 'betterment', 'ascension' or 'salvation'. Within that, everything revolves around oneself, one is the hero (whether victor or victim) of the mental movie projected as HOPE.

Seldom do we take into consideration the actual physical laws of cause and effect to understand how we came to be 'where we are' in the present, why we stand where we stand, and what the practical consideration would be that one has to look at in order to actually take on the point in self-honesty and self-responsibility, to be the one that brings forth a correction, a solution, a resolution, while walking through the manifested consequences of oneself and one's own creation.

As I was looking at the point of HOPE and bringing it back to self, what I saw is that I’ve known the experience of ‘Hope’ since I can remember. Looking at my present experience of myself - as I have described it in several previous blogs where I wrote about my relationships with people and groups, my experiences at school and later on in the world system, how I isolated myself based on rebellion and protection-mechanisms and how I found myself ending-up alone with no place to call 'home' - I can see that this pattern, this experience goes back a long way to where I was a child. I was always looking for a place to harbour me, since I was perceiving and defining myself as a castaway, an outcast, a misfit. So that became my HOPE, my projected ‘fulfilment’: finding a place I can call ‘home’.

These words already reveal the separation accepted and allowed, wherein “finding a place a can call home” becomes a point to ‘pursue’, thus a projection, a point to be ‘fulfilled’ somewhere out there in some future through some ‘miraculous’ events, relationships, factors.

What I slowly but surely started doing/applying as I was growing up, is trying to get that 'home'-feeling within relationships, but - as I described in several blogs on this point before - I did that within a bubble of separation from everything else, as I was projecting my hopes and desires onto that one relationship, expecting myself to be ‘fulfilled’ by another within it, not acknowledging that it is my responsibility to create a 'home' for myself, AS myself, within how I live and participate in my world.

It's as if I remained that little girl that is looking for a loving parent, a friend, a cosy place to be carefree – but I did nothing substantial to actually develop, establish and manifest this for myself.

That is the challenge that everyone is facing. To see and acknowledge the points we separate ourselves from, the points we abdicate our responsibility for, creating ‘hopes’ and ‘desires’ that inevitably result into fears of not getting what we want – let alone the fact that what we want mostly revolves around the “I” of self-consciousness and rarely involves and includes the entirety of existence of which we are an equal creator.

So, the tricky thing about HOPE is that it is a point of separation from oneself. How? By the mere fact that hope is a projected desire waiting to be ‘fulfilled’, and so self is abdicating the responsibility for one's reality HERE and NOW, and instead remains inactive, waiting and hoping.

Therefore, as long as HOPE exists as a projection of one's desires being fulfilled somehow in the future through external factors: self is not taking directive responsibility but exists in self-abdication and self-compromise.

As long as HOPE exists, self is refusing to realize the self-directive power to determine and direct one's reality through the practical accumulation of ‘who I am’ within ‘how I live’ into an outflow/consequence that will dignify self, and that will place self in a position where one can be ‘fulfilled’ as ‘who I am’ and ‘how I live’, satisfied that one is in fact learning the lessons life is indicating and is accordingly aligning oneself as the solution in self-equality and oneness, to not have to re-create the same patterns or repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Such self-fulfilment will not only redeem oneself, but will have an outflow/consequence that is supportive of life as all as one as equal.

So in order to take back one's power and be fully directive in the Here, in the actuality of one’s reality, one has to let go of Hope.

To let go of Hope, first it is to see, describe and identify what it is that we hope for. Letting go of all Hope opens the door to realizing how we keep ourselves from standing-up and bringing forth the change we want to see. What fears are you allowing to determine your action and non-action; what (self-)definitions are you accepting to limit and bind you; what desires are you following that keep you trapped in certain lifestyles that do not allow self to expand, express, self-realize, be the directive-principle in full self-responsibility?

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that willing myself to look at what my HOPE entails: is actually revealing to me a whole lot about my accepted ‘self-definitions’, about what I’ve allowed myself to think and believe about myself, about how I see myself, about where I place myself as seemingly ‘inferior’ and ‘unable’ thus ‘hoping’ for external factors to ‘fulfil’ me and ‘enable’ me to LIVE.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to create Hope by looking into the future and imagining scenarios of 'betterment' that will apparently put an end to my current ‘miserable existence’ – instead of investigating whether that which I define as ‘miserable’ is in fact so, why I’ve defined it so, and how I got myself to that state in the first place;

because realizing and understanding How I created what is here now within myself/my experience of myself: is the key to stopping that creation and taking responsibility for the required ‘correction’ and self-change.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that as long as I follow Hope, I am not allowing myself to be fully self-directive within my reality Here in every moment, because I am trapping myself in projections rooted in desires and fears, thus giving permission to fears and desires within and as consciousness to direct ‘who I am’ in separation from myself and to determine what I will follow in the pursuit of 'fulfilling my desires' –

instead of looking at and realizing what it is that I’ve accepted and allowed to keep me from living who I really am in full self-responsibility, how I have created my fears and desires and thus ‘hopes’ in the first place, how I have brought myself into the position I currently find myself in, and therefore what it is I must let go of in order to set myself free and give myself the opportunity to stop all self-compromise and live that which will support me, that which will strengthen me, that which will allow me to grow and express and expand to my fullest potential.

I commit myself to bringing all points of ‘hope’ back to myself – so that I may see where and how I am abdicating self-responsibility, so that I may stand-up and take self-responsibility for all points I have separated myself from and projected ‘out there’ ‘hoping’ for their ‘fulfilment’ by something/someone in separation from myself.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that Hope is only keeping us in bipolar loops of expectation/desire and disappointment/fear, and that while we allow ourselves to be thrown back and forth in polarities of the mental: we fail to see that we are wasting time and breath, missing the opportunity to stand-up and stop the self-abdication, missing the opportunity to stand-up and take self-responsibility to bring forth real change in the physical reality here.

I commit myself to stopping myself from projecting my fears and desires as expectations onto others/my world – so that I may take full responsibility for myself.

I commit myself to investigate my fears and desires in detail, to see what they are showing me about myself: so that I may take back the power I’ve been abdicating to fears and desires and HOPE in the mental; so that instead of allowing myself to be driven and determined by ‘my fears and my desires’, I become my own driving-force in self-honesty, as I bring all points that I’ve separated myself from back to myself, to amalgamate Here as one and equal as ‘all of me here’ and stand-up in integrity, self-dignity, self-respect.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that as long as we hold on to personal ‘hopes’, we remain in inaction and equally allow the world to remain in inaction and hold on to ‘hopes’ for a better future – while it is in fact ‘who we are’ and how we co-exist that creates this world. Therefore, WE are the ones to create the future, either through self-directive action/change in self-responsibility OR through the consequences of our acceptances and allowances as the result of our inaction and abdication of responsibility.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that if we truly want LIFE to be the value our existence is based on, we firstly have to investigate how we abdicate our right to life – so that we may give it to ourselves, give it to each-other, and find practical ways of creating a new system of co-existence that will be based on the value of life and thus will value and support all life equally. Then our world will truly be a place we can all call HOME.

Relevant Blogs:

Searching for that Feeling "...And When I Get that Feeling..."

Filled-Up with Fake Fulfillment | Humanity's Energetics of Self-Sabotage

For support and discussions visit:

Read up on the MIND: