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Donnerstag, 14. Juni 2012

Day 48: MIND over MATTER - Part 2



I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that whenever a being decides to change, there's going to be physical resistance; and one can see this within how the body will become 'heavy' or 'tired' or will 'contract' or have a certain 'sensation' - and then one will say "I don't feel like it" or "I'm too tired" or "I can't right now" or "I'll do it next time": this is how the mind has trained the body to abide to the self-interest of consciousness which is always based in fear and the desire for self-preservation as that is what gives consciousness the perception of 'control' and 'safety'.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the perception of 'control' and 'safety' is how we have programmed ourselves to remain in the accepted knowledge and information of 'who we are' and how the world is; and that it will take actual courage to move through the perception of 'control' and 'safety' manifested as the physical resistance that comes up in moments that are in fact windows of opportunity toward change in self-direction.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to entertain 'good intentions' in the mind without changing in the physical, in actuality, is self-deception - and that one can see, if one look self-honestly, how most 'good intentions' end-up creating a hell of an experience as consequence when there is no equal and one physical-application that make the 'good intentions' real in fact.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that we are here on earth to 'prove' ourselves to ourselves in the physical, not in the mind - as in the mind anyone can be a 'hero', anyone can be 'god', anyone can make oneself believe that one has 'good intentions'; However, mental realization is only useful if it is put into practical application in physical living, otherwise any and all realization is useless and will drive a being deeper into self-dishonesty, because in spite of seeing and realizing, one does not in fact act, one does not in fact change.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that when I give in to physical resistances: I am giving in to the conditioned mind consciousness I have become, and am not giving myself the chance to expand beyond the auto-pilot of the mind imposing itself onto the physical through my own acceptance and allowance, not giving myself the chance to self-realization = making myself real within and as the physical.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that everything is here, as I am here, and that the only component missing is the SELF-WILL of me as life taking the directive to transcend and transform the ILL will of the MIND that is conditioned in polarities of fears and desires, projected as 'inferiority' and 'superiority', only following self-interest as Ego.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that that which is the self-interest of consciousness as Ego is not in the best interest of me as a being, as life; because self-consciousness was not born of life, it was born of the system and formed in the image and likeness of the system without my directive will, only through my acceptance and allowance and submission.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that this physical existence is the place where it is and will be revealed who is real as life as directive power, with the courage to stand in the interest of life/all, and who is illusion as mind as polarity-design of self-consciousness in separation from life/all;
and that this is and will be revealed not only within our existence and experience individually, but also within the greater picture of the world-system, where money is the mind of the system, dictating existence in terms of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', attempting to always have control and power over existence by selling experiences through perception, with politics the 'good intentions' that only ever make promises but never in fact act to bring forth what is best for life in actuality.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it's gonna take courage and self-will to walk through the resistances imposed by habit as our conditioned existence both within and without; and it's gonna take BREATHING and actual physical self-movement, to not accept or allow the weight of the past to keep us waiting/weighting - so that we may break through the invisible walls of the mind/system and birth ourselves as life in the physical: re-birthing ourselves AND the world system equally, in a way that will support all life.



I commit myself to flagging the points of physical resistance I am facing - so that I in the moment of resistance: I BREATHE, realize what I am facing, and walk through the resistance in self-directive will, aligning my thoughts, words and deeds to life as equality and oneness, no longer accepting or allowing the mind/system to dictate who I am, no longer accepting or allowing myself to give in to the limitations of the mind/system that have been ingrained in my physical through repetition breath by breath;
thus it's gonna take many breaths to break the patterns of existence and practically breath-by-breath program into my physical a new way of life that is of actual support for life as who I really am.

I commit myself to make it a point of my daily training: to walk through resistances whenever such come-up - so that I may within this develop and establish self-will, self-trust and self-worth, while becoming the directive principle of me in equality and oneness.

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that "mind over matter" only lasts for so long, while the mind consciousness of belief and perception manifest as personalities through which we then interact in our world as pictures in a picture-world, never really getting to know ourselves or each-other - and while the mind consciousness impose itself onto the physical as its master and dictator, it refuses to see that without the physical it cannot exist;
and while it feeds on the physical, the physical deteriorates and eventually returns to the earth, leaving the personality without fuel and thus without life -
and so within this we can see that: it is the PHYSICAL that is LIFE, it is the PHYSICAL that GIVES life, it is the PHYSICAL that is born of life and returns to life, while consciousness is born of the system and returns to nothingness, as it has no actual substance, no life of its own: it has only been exploiting the substance of the physical, the breath of life, through our acceptance and allowance, as we waste our breath on the mind, on self-interest, on concepts of 'superiority' and 'inferiority', instead of embracing our breath as life, embracing ourselves and each-other as life, embracing this earth as life, and establishing an existence of common sense - as we all breathe the same air.

I commit myself to walking myself out of the mind - through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application; through pushing through any resistances that may come up as I take the directive to stop the abusive system within and without and become equal to and one with LIFE.

I commit myself to sharing the urgent necessity for practical physical living, so that we may develop a new understanding of ourselves, evolution, development, education - so that we may bring forth a new system for our world within which we will in fact be able to learn how this physical reality functions and what creation in fact entails, and become aware of and understand the responsibilities that come along with being creators; realizing the interconnectedness and thus interdependence of life and that we cannot deceive and harm others without in essence deceiving and harming ourselves.



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Day 15: Self-Degradation and Standing Up from the Pit of Regret


Self-abuse has many forms.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that I am too fucked-up.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think that I am a horrible person.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to project these thoughts onto my relationship and create the idea that the partner is 'too good for me', manifesting the fear of my relationship failing.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to measure my self-worth in relation to relationships.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see myself as 'unworthy' if I cannot have a functioning relationship.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to place worth in relationships and separate myself from 'worth' - wherein I create a desire for relationships thinking that I will be 'worthy' when another tells me I am worthy.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to form relationships from the starting-point of desire, which by very definition implies projection, separation, delusion.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to measure myself based on whether or not and how I have a relationship.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hate myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I hate myself because I am not living up to my actual real desire: which is to live and expand and allow others to expand equally - within self-fulfilment as life.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that I hate myself because I have inflicted pain to those I love as I gave in to the fear of losing them; and thus I have not really allowed myself to intimately, truly get to know myself and another beyond fear, beyond the existence of self-consciousness that is constantly busy with ‘fearing loss' and ‘maintaining control'.
I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the reason for experiencing hatred and loathing and pain and anger within myself: is because I am doing it to myself and from that I am doing it to my world, and from there I begin to hate myself as I see what I am doing, what I am allowing, what I am accepting within myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the excruciating pain for not treating others as I would like to be treated - cannot be forgiven.
I forgive myself for thinking and believing that I am not worthy of forgiveness. Within this I realize that such thoughts emerge from the mind as self-consciousness - it seems I am a consciousness that is addicted to the 'negative', 'suffering', 'pain'.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to support suffering and the real negative of this world through accepting and allowing myself to be addicted to the 'negative' of the mind. I realize that it is me as ego as self-consciousness that is abusing this energy to feed on.
So the question is: Who am I as a being? Who am I as life? What will it take to stop the self-abuse, stop the back-chat, stop the mind from feeding off of the life of me?
It will take all of me, as the will of life.
I commit myself to 'saving' myself.
I commit myself to picking myself up from the atrocious creation of my self-consciousness, embracing it, amalgamating with it in the realization that I am it, I have become it, therefore it is I that can change it.
Stop the inner wars, inner conversations, the inner race. Breathe. You are the one that has had enough of abusing itself. I am the one that has had enough of abusing myself. I've had enough of creating bullshit. I've had enough of eating bullshit. I am not willing to accept others as less than who they really are - so why am I accepting less from me than who I really am as life?!
I commit myself to stopping the regret, and stopping the backchat that tries to tell me "it’s too late" or "you’re too fucked-up" or "it’s not worth it".
I commit myself to stopping self-degradation the moment I see a thought or emotion wanting to automatically come up to validate a perception of ‘worthlessness’ or ‘inferiority’.
I commit myself to stopping the cycles of abuse within myself, stopping the division within myself, and working WITH the mind to amalgamate into a physical-living being that stands as One in self-equality.
I commit myself to valuing myself as life.

I commit myself to accepting myself as worthy.

I commit myself to standing up within myself and becoming an example of the value of life – becoming the solution I want to see in my world.


　
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Day 13: Stopping the Hater within Self


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to hate the hater when I witness a situation where someone will bully another back in hate.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that hating the hater makes me into a hater myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the anger that comes up within me when witnessing a hater is in fact revealing to me that I hold a judgment against the hater and a self-judgment against myself, believing I am inferior to the situation – instead of standing in the point of common sense and equalizing myself with the moment that is here to effectively direct the situation through common sense.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react to a reaction with a reaction, based in morality value judgments, without realizing that by reacting in the same way I become equal to that which I react to.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react with anger at my world when seeing the patterns of our existence wherein each one always wants to have the last say, to be right, to win a situation.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to react in helplessness and powerlessness, thinking and believing I m not able to show and explain the point in common sense.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of inferiority when another is superimposing superiority, and then from that starting-point of accepted ‘inferiority’ to try and impose a ‘superior’ solution – instead of pointing out the obvious, as for instance pointing out what it is that one is placing oneself equal to when reacting in hate and anger and bullying back.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider that by reacting in anger and hate towards the hater, I am in fact placing myself equal to the pattern of the ‘hating’ and the ‘hated’ – instead of stepping out of the polarity and resolving the point in equality, pointing out the common sense that no solution can ever be achieved when each one is always trying to ‘win’ and have the last say, and that seeking ‘revenge’ or ‘justice’ in a polarity system can never be what is best for all.


I’ve been writing about the point of self-consciousness these days, and yesterday I read a blog that demonstrates and deconstructs the system of self-consciousness in a very clear way.

It is fascinating how both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ are but ‘gods’ and ‘demons’ of the mind – points to which we assign certain ‘values’ based on polarity value-judgments of ‘good’ and ‘bad’, and we do that within ourselves in the mind just like we do it in our world.

The purpose that self-consciousness serves is the pursuit of winning, the pursuit of personal happiness – whereby the happiness of self-consciousness is not even necessarily the point of actual happiness for the person it is inhabiting.

Self-consciousness derives pleasure from ‘control’, regardless whether this is done through the ‘positive’ or through the ‘negative’ – the goal is the same: ‘being in control’.

It is that point of ‘control’ that is programmed to equate with ‘personal happiness’ – and so it is for instance that people will stay in abusive relationships or will continue with patterns of self-abuse simply because it gives them the illusion of ‘control’. The very limitation and actual imprisonment they are subjecting themselves to: make up the framework for their perceived ‘control’, wherein it is not even the person itself that has any form of control, it is the mind as self-consciousness that preserves itself within the patterns it ‘knows’ and can ‘deal with’, hence the perception of ‘control’. The mind as self-consciousness will often drive a being to desperate and degrading actions against itself or against others just to get that thrill of perceived ‘control’.

The consequences of such ‘control’ is what we see in our world wherein we make everything about being ‘right’ and being ‘in control’ and within this we make everything about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and inflict upon this existence an endless race where ‘the winner takes it all’.

We have ended up in an existence where everyone is bullying each-other and everyone is always bullying back, as everyone is driven by this energy of self-righteousness – and that is the very point that always seeks to win, always seeks revenge, always seeks to have the last say.

When we look back at history, it is obvious that we are not getting anywhere by looking to blame others and trying to prove ourselves/our side to be ‘right’.

So how do we stop this game? How do we stop the power-games, the cycles of blame and the finger-pointing? How do we get ourselves to a point where we can start afresh, with a clean slate?


I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in a constant mental state of trying to be ‘right’, trying to ‘win’, trying to have the last say.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to derive ‘worth’ and ‘validation’ and ‘power’ from such behaviour, wherein if I do not get to be the ‘winner’ I will feel ‘less than’ and ‘invalidated’ and ‘powerless’ and I as mind as self-consciousness cannot allow anything or anyone else to be ‘more than’ me or ‘better than’ me or to be ‘right’ against me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take people’s behaviours personally and see others as being ‘against me’, not realizing that this conflict of interests is in fact a characteristic of self-consciousness as something it can create friction from, because without friction it cannot create the energy as the endless ‘race’ it requires to sustain itself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to ‘strike back’ whenever I perceive that ‘something is done unto me’ – instead of realizing that this ping-pong game is the very pattern through which we are recreating wars and conflict in our world, both on the smaller and the bigger scale.

I forgive myself for taking things personally and judging others, without questioning myself as my own reactions that come up within me – as I have not allowed myself to see and realize that what comes up within me is in fact me and therefore I am facing myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to always place the blame in ‘others’ because through this I can abdicate my responsibility to others and do not have to face myself or change myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that others must change first because others are ‘more wrong’ than me and when others change only then will I consider changing myself.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility through projecting my inner world into my outer world and blaming others about what I am experiencing – instead of realizing that I am creating my own reactions through and as self-consciousness in separation from life.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to try and change myself and my world through ‘control’ – instead of realizing that this only keeps history repeating and that it is only in equality and oneness that we are able to effectively redirect and reform our existence of polarity into an existence of oneness and equality as best for all.

I commit myself to stopping my own reactions and equalizing myself in common sense before I engage myself into directing a situation where ego is playing out.

I commit myself to stopping ego within myself, because if I want to support others in stopping ego within themselves, I require to be the example of how that is possible and how we can walk ourselves out of the mind of polarity and into life as self-equality and oneness.

I commit myself to exposing ego in all possible ways, so that we may all see and realize that by existing as ego we are only perpetuating the state of the world as we know it, where war, abuse and exploitation are the common denominators of a system that abuse life, just like we allow the self-consciousness as the ego we have become to abuse the life in ourselves and each-other.

I commit myself to actualizing my standing in oneness and equality with every opportunity that presents itself to me – and I commit to pointing out the patterns and not the people, as I see that we all exist within the same patterns of abuse and self-righteousness and therefore it’s not about who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’ but it’s about stopping the power-games altogether and realizing practical solutions of common sense that will bring forth a win-win resolution to all conflict and war, because as life we can give to all that which we would like for ourselves.

I commit myself to not reacting with anger when faced with the unacceptable of this world, but to instead investigate and explain how the pattern exists and how we all participate in keeping it alive – because when we see how we are keeping the pattern alive we can also see how we can stop it and put an end to the power-games and the illusionary ‘control’ we so desperately try to maintain.

I commit myself to not give up in the moments I am faced with ‘powerlessness’, but to utilize the breath that was unconditionally given to me by life itself to equalize myself as life and to stand-up and stop the accepted ‘powerlessness’ within myself and accept myself as equal of life, as that is the only starting-point from which we are able to bring forth solutions that will be best for all.

I commit myself to walking in humbleness and stopping the power-games I exist within in all possible ways.

I commit myself to realizing and walking the practical example of how life as equality and oneness is the only actual power, through and as which we are able to make a difference within ourselves, our world and this existence as a whole.


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