Continuing from Day 494 | Do You JUDGE Yourself?
Another interesting point to consider is that judgment or
self-judgment doesn’t only include ‘negative’ definitions, it also includes
‘positive’ ones.
For instance, say you go to a party and you look at all the
other people of the same sex as yourself, and then you have the thought “I am
the most attractive female/male in this gathering”.
Now why would one have such a thought in the first place? Let’s
see:
What would happen if one was not the most attractive
male/female? What if there were males/females there in comparison to whom one
would find oneself ‘less attractive’?
Do you see where I’m getting to?
And
isn’t such a ‘positive’/’superior’ thought (“I am the most attractive
female/male in this gathering”) merely revealing a hidden inferiority of self,
indicating per implication that “...phew, I won’t have to worry about
competition” or “I won’t have to feel inferior or threatened” etc.
So the ‘positive’ experience merely covers-up a suppressed
or hidden ‘negative’ experience; and a ‘positive’ judgment is equally a
judgment as a ‘negative’ one.
So what can be seen here is an interesting point with
regards to judgment, and that is that any idea one holds about oneself and/or
others is in fact a JUDGMENT per se.
But let’s have a look at how to change ‘positive’ judgment
into something constructive and supportive, something that does not create
consequences for self and others.
In the above example where we judge ourselves in ‘positive’
light, I would simply forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
compare myself to others, for accepting and allowing myself to want/nee/desire
to be the ‘most attractive’; forgive myself that I hadn’t allowed myself to
see, realize and understand that such want, need and desire and consequently
such judgment merely reveals an accepted inferiority within myself, where I
hadn’t embraced myself and accepted my self-worth and my value as life but was
instead seeking value in external and perceptual attributes, through mental
comparisons, in separation from myself.
In the case we judge others in ‘positive’ ways, wherein
mostly there is a form of envy or jealousy involved (consciously or
unconsciously), the way to transform such judgments into gifts is to firstly
stop the comparison, forgive ourselves the perception of lack/lacking, and
simply have a practical look at what qualities it is that we admire in another
to see how we can support ourselves to learn, expand, grow; and how we can find
and develop the particular qualities within ourselves.
...to be continued.
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