Day 133: Want Home - "Here"&"There" | How Definitions Define Us - Self Forgiveness & Commitment

ART by Damian Ledesma

 

 

This is continuing from

Day 128: Standing Up from Falling in Love

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"
Day 131: Want Home - "Here" and "There" | Self Realization Commitments
Day 132: Want Home - "Here" and "There" | How Definitions Define Self

 

So, I am continuing having a look into my definitions of “Here” and “There” in the context of WANT and HOME and how I through my definitions and mental projections had separated myself from the actuality of my reality and my responsibility within that, separated Me from What is Here as Me and How I experienced myself throughout my life –

and I continue with self-forgiveness and self commitment statements on the points that I opened up:

 

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be aligned to a definition of "there" which I imagined and created in my mind and charged it over time with feelings of 'positive', 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'.

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to create an idea of “there” as a projection of myself, defined as: 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'; thus charged as a ‘positive’ feeling –

within this not considering that through the acceptance of this projection as ‘valid’ and ‘positive’ = I was accepting Me Here as ‘invalid’ and ‘negative’.

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to define and accept Me Here as ‘invalid’ and ‘negative’.

 

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the more I wished for and charged the ‘positive’ projection as my idea of “there” and “getting there”, the more I implied a definition of Me Here as ‘negative’ – and thus the less able I became in directing Me Here, directing my Here into effective Living in self-support, self-expression, self-acceptance.

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to place “value” into a projection “out there”, within this depriving Me Here of any value and per implication thus defining Me Here as ‘powerless’ and ‘unworthy’.

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see that we can only “get there” through all the steps we take in every “here”-moment with every breath. So it is the Here that determines the “there” – it is the present that determines the future. It is who I am in every moment that accumulates, forms and determines who I am becoming, who I will be.

I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within placing all value, all power, all attention “there” – I had implicitly accepted/defined myself Here as ‘worthless’ and ‘powerless’ and therefore I was within that in fact creating the “there” equally as ‘worthless’ and ‘powerless’ as my accepted definition of “here”, in spite of wishing for and dreaming of the 'positive'.

I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within the definitions I had formed/accepted, I had defined the positive through the negative, the negative being my experience of myself “here”, the positive being my wishful-thinking projected out “there”;

and that within this, positive and negative, the “here” and “there” are polarity constructs that cannot exist alone as theyare defined by and through each-other = the TRAP of POLARITY.

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I am able to see things for what they are, from the starting-point of equality and oneness;

and that from this starting-point I am able to see, realize and understand HOW I create/accept the value-judgments of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ which I then allow to DEFINE the mental and emotional experience of myself – thus allowing ENERGY as POLARITY as the MIND to direct and define Me and the experience of Me, instead of ME being the directive-principle of ME as the authority/the author of myself and my existence within and as self-equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that ENERGY is our interpretation of reality into mental values of ‘positive’/ ‘more than’/ ‘superior’ and ‘negative’/ ‘less than’/ ‘inferior’, and that it is from these VALUE-JUDGMENTS that the various levels of ‘feelings’ (positive) and ‘emotions’ (negative) emerge and direct our experience, based on the equations of values and definitions that we form /accept /allow to exist within self in separation from self.

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to CHARGE these definitions (words, thoughts, ideas, pictures, imaginations) through further THINKING about them, in spite of noticing that thinking and indulging in feelings/emotions as if they were ‘real’ in fact perpetuates our emotional attachment to the words, thoughts, ideas, pictures, imaginations and thus perpetuates our ADDICTION to ENERGY, wherein we remain SLAVES to ENERGY within and as the mind, trapped in alternate realities that only exist in the mind, yet determine our experience and behaviour in our external reality.

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to seem realize and understand how we trap ourselves in vicious cycles of ENEGRY through bipolar thoughts, backchat, feelings, emotions, that seem to never end / never stop – because we continue participating in them, continue abdicating our directive-principle to the MIND, in the BELIEF that we are ‘right’ to see things the way we do in the mind and in the FAITH that maybe someday we’ll get “there” and our dreams and desires will finally be ‘fulfilled’ as we project them in the mind.

 

 

I realize that we interpret reality through the mind, the consciousness of which we form through mental value-judgments as ‘positive’/ ‘more than’/ ‘superior’ and ‘negative’/ ‘less than’/ ‘inferior’ – which is the ‘logic’ that is presented to us by this world consciousness system;

and that it is from these VALUE-JUDGMENTS that the various levels of ‘feelings’ (positive) and ‘emotions’ (negative) emerge as ENERGETIC CHARGES, which we then experience as so ‘overwhelming’ within self that we allow them to direct and determine our lives, based on the equations of values and definitions we form as our ‘logic’ –

which in essence becomes something like a self-religion that blinds self from the actuality of one’s reality.

 

I commit myself to investigating and releasing any and all value-judgments that I formed/accepted/allowed about myself and my world, to no longer exist in separation from the actuality of my reality but instead see things/me for what they are.

I commit myself to showing how ENERGY is merely our interpretation of reality in separation from the actuality of reality as cause and effect – and that therefore by abdicating our directive-principle to energy and following energy like a ‘god’, allowing it to determine our decisions and perceptions in life:

we are not seeing things for what they are and thus not understanding the consequences of our creation, the consequences of who we are, which would in fact allow us to make informed decisions and CHANGE the CAUSE of ourselves thus changing the EFFECT we have on LIFE as ourselves and as a whole.

I realize that by THINKING about the ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ definitions/concepts/beliefs we accept/allow/create: We are in fact CHARGING these definitions energetically, which perpetuates our attachment to ENERGY as ADDICTION;

and that indulging in feelings/emotions as if they were ‘real’ in fact perpetuates our emotional attachment to the accepted definitions/concepts/beliefs, and thus perpetuates our ADDICTION to ENERGY, wherein we remain a SLAVE to ENERGY within and as the mind, trapped in alternate realities that only exist in the mind, yet determine our experience and behaviour in our external reality.

I commit myself to stopping the conditioned existence of my mind and releasing myself from the polarity charges that I’ve assigned to words/definitions through mental concepts/belief, by purifying my words and re-defining my living application to be free of polarity/energy – so that I may be the directive-principle of me, in self-honesty and practical common sense in consideration of cause and effect and thus consequence; to stop creating consequences for myself and life as a whole, in the realization that the HELL we face on earth individually and collectively is the manifested consequence of who we are and what accept and allow within and without.

When and as I see myself going into / following / believing a ‘feeling’/’positive’-projection or ‘emotion’/’negative’-projection that comes up within me: I stop, I breathe, and I look at the cause and effect of my experience –

to no longer accept or allow myself to be a SLAVE to ENERGY within and as the mind, to no longer accept or allow myself to create alternate realities that only exist in the mind yet determine my experience and behaviour, to no longer accept or allow my conditioned consciousness to determine who I am and how I participate in the actuality of my reality.

I realize that thoughts, feelings and emotions exist within bipolar designs and reveal the TRAP of consciousness as POLARITY.

 

Therefore I commit myself to stop following the conditioned consciousness I have come to define myself by, and to through self-honesty, self-forgiveness and self-corrective responsibility set myself free from the patterned cycles of ENERGY;

to no longer exist like an organic robot following instructions of input–output that were integrated within my mind without my awareness or directive-principle, but only through my allowance and the acceptance of my submission to a SYSTEM which I did not understand or have the tools to investigate when I was a child.

I realize that in self-honesty we have no other choice than FACING OURSELVES and the experience of ourselves HERE in every moment, understanding How we create ourselves and our experience of ourselves through the value-judgments we assign to ourselves and others in COMPARISON based on the consciousness concepts of ‘superiority’/‘inferiority’, ‘positive’/‘negative’, ‘more than’/ ‘less than’.

Within that I commit myself to taking self-responsibility: to stop the destruction of ourselves through separation, value-judgments and polarity-constructs and to instead become the directive-principle of ourselves as life that will set forth constructive solutions to be lived as self-support, self-expression, self-recreation.

Therefore, when and as I see myself going into perceiving Me Here as ‘negative’ and/or going into future-projection of ‘positive’: I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back here, within and as the actuality of my reality, to see, realize and understand How I create me and my experience of me, to stop the value-judgments, and direct myself in self-honesty and practical common sense, no longer accepting or allowing myself to separate myself into mental concepts of “here” and “there”, ‘positive’ and ‘negative’, superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ –

but instead to see things for what they are and re-align myself to the value of life, thus standing-up within myself in self-trust, self-worth and self-acceptance as life.

I see, realize and understand that I am able to see things for what they are, from the starting-point of equality and oneness;

and that from this starting-point I am able to self-honestly investigate and understand HOW I have created/accepted the value-judgments of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ which I then allowed to DEFINE the mental and emotional experience of myself – so that I may STOP this acceptance and allowance and restore the value of LIFE within myself as oneness and equality.

I commit myself to STOP accepting and allowing ENERGY as POLARITY as the MIND to direct and define Me and the experience of Me, and to instead BE, LIVE and MOVE as the directive-principle of ME –taking self-responsibility as the authority/the author of myself and my existence within and as self-equality and oneness.

 

I see, realize and understand the simplicity of the SOLUTION that is to be LIVED if we are to create ourselves and our world as LIFE:

it is to acknowledge that the VALUE of LIFE is LIFE, which is the equation of Oneness and Equality –

because LIFE exists EQUALLY within and as all living beings as ONE existence: we share the same air, water, ground, and it is thus common sense that we in essence share one common interest: LIFE itself, as ourselves and each-other and this planet that sustains us.

 

I commit myself to sharing the common sense that we require to acknowledge, honor and practically live the value of LIFE as ourselves – GIVE it to ourselves, and GIVE it to each-other equally.

I commit myself to showing how an equal money system is a first practical step towards this direction.

I commit myself to showing how we have within the accepted world system replaced the actual value of LIFE with fake “values” of consciousness based on concepts, ideas and perceptions of ‘superiority’/‘inferiority’, ‘positive’/‘negative’, ‘more than’/ ‘less than’ –

and have thus come to exist in constant comparison and competition against each-other, instead of existing HERE TOGETHER in mutual respect, support and dignity as LIFE.

I commit myself to exposing the current consumerism system of Capital/Money and how it perpetuates even further this consciousness of comparison, competition, survival of the fittest; and in NO WAY supports the individual human being in self-realizing Life as the actual, true value Here.

I commit myself to showing how all systems of our world promote the concept of “getting there”, be it within education, the money-system, religion, science, through the media and the sexualization of society : everything exists as a promise for ‘more’, without offering the tools with which to learn how to deal with what is ALREADY HERE as ourselves, society, the human psyche, relationships, energetic experiences, our thought processes etc.

I commit myself to showing how the Equal Money System as proposed by us Destonians is the only proposal that places the value of Life as starting-point for all practical considerations, aiming at bringing forth an existence where we stop `surviving´ through abuse and exploitation and finally start LIVING in actual support, freedom and dignity, that will allow for actual EVOLUTION in all possible fields of the human existence.

I commit myself to showing how the Desteni I Process is the only curriculum that shows in detail how the mind consciousness operates and how we have come to exist as we do currently on this earth, creating an inner and outer hell for ourselves and each-other while we are trapped in fear and accepted inferiority –

and that the TOOLS are HERE with which any willing individual is able to start deconstructing, understanding, and transcending any accepted fears, beliefs, desires and the equations that define and determine one’s experience, to stop the self-separation, stop the abdication of responsibility and directive-authority, and get to self-honesty about how we create ourselves and consequently our world.

 

 

ART by Rozelle De Lange

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles
 

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Day 132: Want Home – “Here” & “There” | How Definitions Define Self

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

 

 

 

This is continuing from

Day 128: Standing Up from Falling in Love

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"
Day 131: Want Home - "Here" and "There" | Self Realization Commitments

 

 

So, I’m continuing having a look into the definition of “Here” and “There” and how within that I separated myself from Here, separated me from What is Here as Me because I did not want to face me, experience me, be here with me –

and I did not back then have the tools and the realizations with which to assist and support myself as I do today.

So I was simply running – running away from the experience of Me.

 

 

From my blog post Day 130:

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be aligned to a definition of "there" which I imagined and created in my mind and charged it over time with feelings of 'positive', 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'.

So here I will look into how I defined “There” – which is a word-definition/idea I realized exists within me since I looked into the two words HOME and WANT (for reference and further context read my blog post from Day 130).

So I realized that I created “there” as a projection of myself, defined as: 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment';

thus charged as a ‘positive’ feeling.

What I hadn’t obviously considered is that through the acceptance of this projection as ‘valid’ and ‘positive’ = I was accepting Me Here as ‘invalid’ and ‘negative’.

And the more I would wish for and charge the ‘positive’ projection, the more ‘negative’ my experience of Me Here would become – and the less able I would become in directing Me Here, directing my Here into effective Living in self-support, self-expression, self-acceptance.

So what did I do: I took “value” and I placed it “there”. Within this, I deprived Me Here of any value, per implication thus defining Me Here as ‘powerless’ and ‘unworthy’.

An interesting point to look at and see/realize, is that:

How do we get “there”? We get “there” through all the steps we take in every “here”-moment with every breath. So it is the Here that determines the “there” – it is the present that determines the future. It is who I am in every moment that accumulates, forms and determines who I am becoming, who I will be.

Within however placing all value, all power, all attention “there” – I had implicitly accepted/defined myself Here as ‘worthless’ and ‘powerless’ - therefore I was within that in fact creating the “there” equally as ‘worthless’ and ‘powerless’ as my accepted definition of “here”, in spite of wishing for and dreaming of the 'positive' – 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'.

Because how can I get all that – if I am not giving it to myself within and as who I am and how I live?!

 

What is also important to see and realize here is how the trap of polarity operates:

Because within the definitions I had formed/accepted (see my previous blog posts for details), I had defined the positive through the negative, the negative being my experience of myself “here”, the positive being my wishful-thinking projected out “there”.

Within this, positive and negative, “here” and “there”, are polarity constructs that exist together as ONE – they cannot exist alone, they need each-other, the ‘positive’ and the ‘negative’ are defined by and through each-other.

That is the trap of polarity. And that is how we trap ourselves within ENEGRY –

ENERGY being our interpretation of reality into mental values of ‘positive’/ ‘more than’/ ‘superior’ and ‘negative’/ ‘less than’/ ‘inferior’, whereby from this then emerge the various levels of ‘feelings’ (positive) and ‘emotions’ (negative), based on the equations and definitions we form /accept /allow.

We then in turn additionally CHARGE these definitions (words, thoughts, ideas, pictures, imaginations) through further thinking about them, which perpetuates our emotional attachment to the words, thoughts, ideas, pictures, imaginations – and so there we have it:

the vicious cycles of ENEGRY through thoughts, backchat, feelings, emotions, that seem to never end – because we continue participating in it in the BELIEF that we are ‘right’ to see things the way we do and in the FAITH that maybe someday we’ll get “there” and our dreams and desires will finally be ‘fulfilled’.

Wow.

 

So what is the way out?

How do we set ourselves from the trap of polarity?

How do we set ourselves free from the mental concepts we subject ourselves to which generate the emotional experience we have of ourselves and our reality?

 

The answer is simplistic:

it is about accepting ourselves as the VALUE of LIFE, which is Oneness, and within that also Equality.

We have however replaced the value of LIFE which is equally within all living beings as ONE Life with fake values of consciousness based on concepts, ideas and perceptions of ‘superiority’/‘inferiority’, ‘positive’/‘negative’, ‘more than’/ ‘less than’ and have come to exist in constant comparison and competition towards each-other, instead of existing in mutual respect, support and communication as LIFE.

 

The current consumerism system of Capital/Money obviously perpetuates even further this consciousness of comparison, competition, survival of the fittest; and in no way supports the individual human being in self-realizing Life as the actual, true value Here.

Furthermore, all systems of our world promote the concept of “getting there”, be it education, the money-system, religion, science, the media and the sexualization of society – everything exists as a promise for ‘more’, without offering the tools with which to learn how to deal with what is already here as ourselves, society, the human psyche, relationships, energetic experiences, our thought processes etc.

The Equal Money System as proposed by us Destonians is the only proposal that places the value of Life as starting-point for all practical considerations, aiming at bringing forth an existence where we stop surviving through abuse and exploitation and start LIVING in actual support, freedom and dignity, that will allow for actual evolution in all possible fields of our existence.

The Desteni I Process is the only curriculum that shows in detail how the mind consciousness operates and how we have come to exist as we do currently on this earth, creating an inner and outer hell for ourselves and each-other while we are trapped in fear and accepted inferiority –

and within this understanding the willing individual is able to start deconstructing any accepted fears, beliefs, desires and the equations that define and determine one’s experience, and get to self-honesty about how we create ourselves and consequently our world.

 

In my next blog post tomorrow I will continue with self-forgiveness and self commitment statements on the points that opened up today, and will in the blog posts to come continue with the next points that opened up since I started looking into the words Home and Want.

 

 

 

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Day 131: Want Home - “Here” & “There” | Self Realization Commitments

ART by Anna Brix Thomsen

This is continuing from:

Day 128: Standing Up from Falling in Love

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"

 

So, I in my previous blog post had written out the points that opened up for me to look into, and started with the last word:

-   Restlessness / ‘On the Run’

-   ‘Find Peace’ / Home

-   Fear - Wrong – Right

-   "There"

 

Within this blog post I continue with self realization commitments on the same point.

 

 

 

I commit myself to practically aligning myself Here, being Here in every breath in the realization that it is through the accumulation of ‘who I am’ in every breath that I develop and establish myself and my reality –

instead of “there” which is a projection of the mind based on pre-programmed ideas that create desires, hopes, and fears and thus keep me trapped within a limited option without actual self-direction, due to my acceptance and allowance of the energetic polarity patterns of fear and desire/hope as ‘valid’, when they are not: they are simply the result of my conditioned consciousness, my pre-programming, and indicate not who I really am as life but merely the nature of the personalities and protection-/defence-mechanisms I exist through as Ego/consciousness.  

 

I commit myself to stopping myself from existing in a state of mind where I am as if constantly projected "there", or as if this "there" constantly exists, and I am somehow 'pulled toward it'; When and as I notice that I am accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my directive-principle and my presence as breath to projections of the mind, where I would go into hoping or wishing or wanting/needing/desiring:

I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back Here, to direct myself in the context of the actuality of my reality, making sure that I stand within a point of self-responsibility = no longer separating and projecting parts of me into some future or onto another being waiting/expecting that to ‘save me’. Rather, I ‘save myself’ in every moment – ‘save’ myself from following the projections of the mind, by remaining Here within and as breath in every moment, thus remaining in self-clarity and self-direction to walk life in Real-Time equal and one and be the directive principle of me here.

 

 

I commit myself to living the realization that whenever I find myself going into a want, need and desire for "there", I within this in fact diminish Me Here.

Therefore the moment I see myself going into a want, need and desire for "there": I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back Here, to the actuality of my reality in the moment, as I am Here, as I breathe here in every moment.

 

I commit myself to living the realization that while I think, feel and believe that I miss something “there” – I am in fact missing Here.

Therefore, I train myself to remaining Here, through breathing and self-awareness as life, as breathing, not as a mind that is trapped within past conditioning and future projections.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that Life is Here. Therefore, ‘fear of missing out’ or fear of ‘not living’ is in fact an indication that one does not live, but exists trapped in the projections of one’s own accepted definitions of ‘living’;

and while one imagine ‘living’ or ‘try to live’, one does not Live in fact.

 

I commit myself to living the realization that Life/Living is the actuality of reality in every moment, in full awareness of all that is here as life.

 

I commit myself to stopping the mental polarity and emotional trap of “here” and “there” and setting myself free from past conditioning and future projections –

so that I may stand in full self-responsibility Here, thus in full self-power Here, in oneness and equality as myself, as life, as breathing self-awareness in every moment.

 

I commit myself to seeing others as me Here – therefore seeing who another is in actuality, instead of seeing the projections of my own mind.

 

I commit myself to always immediately take a judgment, an opinion, or any backchat that comes up in the mind toward another at any given moment: and bring the point back to myself, forgive the projection, and take responsibility for the point by looking at how that judgment / opinion / backchat in fact relates to ‘who I am’ / ‘who’ I allow myself to be –

in the realization that I am in essence always facing myself, and any reaction I have indicates points within myself that I have not yet looked at effectively and directed to self equality and oneness, in self-honesty and self-responsibility.

 

Therefore I commit myself to ‘reminding’ myself that I am walking my process for ME, for self; I am walking life facing ME – thus I am able to amalgamate with any point I face in every moment, equal and one, seeing it for what it is, forgiving it, correcting myself as it, changing ME and re-aligning ME, and eventually within this process, I become a living example of change, of directive-principle, of the stopping of separation and walking in self-responsibility.

 

 

I realize that Life is Here.

I realize that I am Here.

I commit myself to live these realizations as best for Life.

 

I accept What is Here.

I accept Here.

I accept Me Here.

I accept that I am Here.

I realize within this that my responsibility is Here, and that is equal to absolute self-responsibility.

I realize that only through accepting What is Here and embracing it as Me – can I change it; because then I am changing Me.

 

TO BE CONTINUED!

 

 

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"

ART by Kelly Posey

I have some pictures of me at young age, 2 or 3 years old, where I have this 'lost' expression on my face - like I don't know where I am, why I am, what I am supposed to be doing.
From a very young age I remember this feeling of 'not being home', and very quickly I developed this habit of visiting friends' homes because it somehow felt better to be 'there'.

The operative word being 'THERE' - and I'll get to that in a moment.

I was moved a lot as a kid, having grandparents in two different countries, plus my parents travelled a lot between the two countries when I was very young and I was left with the grandparents in the one place or the other. I changed several schools due to these circumstances as well. It wasn't until recently though that I started looking into the history of parents and grandparents and the circumstances they were exposed to, like war, struggle, being refugees, moving places. I myself was in my mother's belly during a war and born shortly after the family moved to another place.
In the beginning of my Journey to Life writings I had a look at the point of being a refugee and carrying with me the emotion of this word/experience.

When I finished school I immediately went to another country to study, where I ended up staying for the other half of my life, then went back to my 'homeland' for a short period of time before I travelled to South Africa to stay at the Desteni farm for three years, then again back to 'homeland' where I wanted to see whether and how I can perhaps find 'peace', yet a year later I again moved to another country to take on a job. And even though I had already, theoretically,  realized that home is Here, and I am Here, therefore I am at Home - this point of self equality and oneness, where one is 'at peace', silent, not searching, not running, not wanting - simply Here -
there was still this feeling/emotion/state of mind that somehow was like 'driving' me from the inside, a creepy underlying feeling, perhaps best described as fear, or uncertainty, or irritation, or restlessness.

Restlessness.
Another point to which to come back to and investigate.

Fear of doing 'the wrong thing', or being 'at the wrong place' 'in the wrong time'. WTF!

Recently I came face to face with this 'feeling' which had become a sort of emotional obsession as it manifested within my relationship.
Where I had projected my WANT for a HOME onto my relationship - instead of living the realization that I am Here therefore I am Home.

Putting it all together, it seems I've been on the run my whole life. The word that comes up here is Restlessness.

Points to investigate through self-forgiveness and re-define:

Restlessness / On the Run
Find Peace / Home
Fear - Wrong - Right
"There"


I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be aligned to a definition of "there" which I imagined and created in my mind and charged it over time with feelings of 'positive', 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'.

(Wow fascinating crescendo there! - amazing what we make out of words through charging them with energetic values! - that is a point for another blog post, looking into the Living Word, what we've made of it/ourselves, and what it/we could be...)

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of mind where I am as if constantly projected "there", or as if this "there" constantly exists, and I am somehow 'pulled toward it'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously, underlyingly, exist within a want, need and desire for "there", within this diminishing myself Here, and therefore equally missing Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that while I constantly think, believe and feel that I am missing "there" and thus "I gotta get there" - I am in Fact missing Here, missing myself Here, existing in essence no-where really, but kinda floating in the air, feet searching for ground ...all the while I am Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I also created a 'fear of missing out' which is basically a fear of 'not living' - and through accepting and allowing this fear to exist within me: I basically manifested it, manifested ME as in fact not living, because I am not Here, I am somehow always "trying to live", always "getting there" and "missing" "there" - when in the actuality of Reality I am missing Me Here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself between the 'poles' of "there" and "here" - in all possible aspects of my life: relationship/partnership, job, friendships, family.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see my partner as "there" and to 'miss him' here.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see my partner as 'missing here' when in Fact it is I that was missing here - and I was wishing for my partner to bring the "there" to me here. WTF!

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to be Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept Me Here.


TO BE CONTINUED!




Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Within the context of investigating my creation and the consequences thereof, in other words within the process of facing myself and taking responsibility for who I am and what I create, I am realizing the extensive nature of ‘backchat’ and the consequences of following thoughts, internal conversations and energetic experiences in the mind (=backchat) and how the acceptance of such forms multiple personalities which, if not stopped/transformed through self-honesty and self-responsibility, may take over a being completely and lead to decisions or actions one will end up regretting.

What is interesting to notice is that thoughts are always bipolar in nature (positive and negative), creating thus bipolar experiences of positive or negative energy, and within that all: the ‘one’ that is forming, accepting and following the backchat is always attempting to ‘WIN’ based on a one-dimensional point of view (EGO) which one then tries to ‘validate’ at all cost.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be self-righteous about my thoughts, in spite of the fact that the moment before a thought comes up, I did not make a decision to ‘think’, yet the thought comes up and I follow the thought and give it attention, believing what it is telling me, forming from there all kinds of assumptions and conclusions, creating an entire alternate reality that has nothing to do with the actuality of reality that takes place in physical space-time;

within this basically create my own delusion which I then defend as if it were real, blind to the consequences of such diversion through my own acceptance and allowance.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow the mind through accepting ‘backchat’ to take place and allowing myself to believe and follow the backchat as if my mind is some kind of ‘god’ that is all-knowing –

instead of realize that within blindly following the mind I am in fact abdicating my responsibility, because I am simply following, not even questioning the consequences that I’d be actually able to see if I would allow myself to do the 1+1 mathematical equation of what it is I am accepting and allowing.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that any form of projected anger, blame, pity, discontent etc. that comes up in the mind in form of thoughts that involve another, where another is apparently to blame for: indicate absolute self-separation and the abdication of self-responsibility; furthermore they indicate a certain want / need / desire which one attempts to fulfil through another, instead of taking self-responsibility for who one is and how one experience oneself and why.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of ‘superiority’ within the mind through ‘backchat’, thinking and believing I understand another or have a clue what another is thinking – all the while I was simply projecting my own fears and insecurities unto another, to not have to face myself and take absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed backchat to exist within me as a ‘secret mind’ – instead of walking step by step in physical space-time and dealing DIRECTLY with what is here in my space-time reality at any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create frictions and conflict – not realizing that this friction and conflict only served the fuelling of my backchat, because the more friction and conflict, the more the backchat seems ‘right’.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow the backchat that comes up automatically in the mind – which I realize I have created over a lifetime in specific situations – instead of directly and immediately investigating what thoughts come up, what are they trying to tell me, who would I be/define myself as if I believed the thoughts, what personalities are activate, what am I as the mind trying to gain out of it all, what is the game that is played, what am I supposed to ‘win’, etc. –

so that I may place myself in a position of directing myself in self-honesty and practical common sense, instead of accepting and allowing the conditioned mind to direct me, the mind that is based in fear.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as a slave to fear and thus a slave to the conditioned mind, thinking and believing the mind can be trusted –

instead of realizing that the mind consciousness is conditioned as EGO and can therefore not be trusted with life, cannot be trusted to make decisions in a way that supports all life equally, cannot be trusted to regard the value of life as oneness and equality.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle to consciousness as backchat as Ego in the ‘secret mind’ – and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to identify with and accept the backchat as ‘me’, as ‘normal’, as ‘logical’; instead of remaining Here as Breath and taking apart what the mind is showing me so that I may take responsibility for what is going within me and make an informed decision in self-responsibility about what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept or allow within me as me.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all violence, all conflict, all war in the world is the result of backchat in the ‘secret mind’ – a direct result of our separation from life as oneness and inequality and into a consciousness of polarity where there are ‘winners’ and ‘losers’, yet fascinatingly enough everyone always tries to ‘win’; therefore war and conflict is the inevitable manifested consequence of our existence and the actual friction that fuels the world system and keeps the world running.

 

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be a cause for war in the world, a cause for conflict of interest, through existing within self-interest through and as the conditioned mind: based in fear (inferiority) yet always trying to ‘win’ (superiority), while the solution to our plight as humanity is simple: the self-realization of life as oneness and equality, starting with equality and oneness within and as self, wherein self stand-up within self to take responsibility for all parts of self as equal and one, to stop the separation within self and stand as accountable individual that is truly ONE and equal within itself in all possible, thus standing in integrity and taking full responsibility for what one create through/as the directive principle of one’s WILL.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that no WILL is free unless it stands in integrity as LIFE;

and that currently in the world free will implies the freedom to abuse and exploit others in SELF-INTEREST, which is a direct reflection of the backchat human beings allow within the ‘secret mind’;

while FREE WILL would in fact imply the WILLingness to take responsibility for self and that exists as self and direct it in the INTEREST of LIFE.

 

I commit myself to walking my process of identifying, forgiving and correcting any and all backchat that I have created throughout my life based on my conditioned consciousness – to take responsibility for everything that exists within me as me and make sure that who I am within and without is always in the interest of life.

 

I commit myself to stopping myself from blindly following backchat whenever it comes up, and to in the moment backchat is activated: stop and breathe, and bring myself back here in the realization that I am able to breathe any energetic experience through my body and release it back to substance, into the earth, to earth myself Here making sure I stand my ground as a being that is committed to Life.

 

I commit myself to, when and as backchat comes up, stop myself from following the mind and allowing it to direct me, my experience and my decisions; and to instead breathe here and slow down to make sure I take self-responsibility and remain the directive principle of me in self equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to walking the tools of the Desteni I Process, and sharing my realizations and process of self-support, as I see that we require support and assistance to identify, understand and work with the accepted backchat and all forms of the ‘secret mind’, to take self-responsibility and realize ourselves as accountable human beings that are no longer simply accepting ‘human nature’ as organic robots driven by fear in accepted inferiority, and not trying to cover that up through delusions of ‘superiority’ either –

but assisting and supporting ourselves to get to that point of self equality and oneness where one stand within and as integrity and has thus the will and the power to direct all of self as one and equal; stopping the separation of self, stopping the abdication of self and self’s creation, and living the realization that responsibility is power and that true power is within and as equality and oneness as life.

 

 

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality