Day 124: Slow Down to Live Longer

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that TIME is the one thing within this reality that assists us in testing our self-application and supports us in checking what it is we are making ourselves real as.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see the actual context of SELF-REALIZATION - to understand that it is about what we make ourselves real as, and to consider that our creation as reflected in our world is clearly showing us that what we make ourselves real as: is a crime against LIFE.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to question Why we grow old - and why within that we do not seem to grow any wiser, otherwise this world would be a different place - a place where life is honored in all possible ways.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to question what it is that makes us grow old, and to consider that our way of life eats off the very flesh we exist as - and that possibly a new way of life where we respect life as ourselves and each-other would not result into the deterioration of the physical, both the physical planet and its resources AND the physical bodies of us human beings.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the consciousness within and as which we exist has become the driving force of everything in our existence;

and yet we do not investigate/study the mechanisms of consciousness to understand the cause and effect of What is Here as ourselves, as this existence.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I SLOW DOWN I can in fact SEE and observe what it is I am doing in every moment, what it is I am participating in through the mind, what it is that I am putting into this world as the input that then becomes the output;

and that each old generation puts out the input for the new generation, within this creating clones of ourselves, clones of consciousness, keeping history repeating and the world turning around in circles WITHOUT ANY ACTUAL CHANGE in the patterns of our existence thus far.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to notice that I do not want to slow down because I am driven by the RUSH of consciousness which is in fact fear;

fear of stopping the automated consciousness of what I KNOW, THINK and BELIEVE, because then I would have to 'start again' through my own self-drive and self-will, and "I can't", because I tell myself I can't and because I'd rather have me and my existence be run by an automated system wherein I do not have to take any actual responsibility.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the RUSH of consciousness is a conditioned program within which each one 'protect' their OWN self-interest based on conditioned patterns and self-definitions driven by fear/inFeariority;

and that if I would SLOW DOWN I would be forced to SEE what it is I am doing, and I don't want to see what I am doing because then: I would have to change.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that physical RESISTANCE, like for instance the resistance against slowing down, always comes up in the moment before CHANGE;

and that Change requires ME to MOVE myself through the resistance by my own self-will and self-directive power, and make a DELIBERATE decision in that moment: to not accept or allow myself to continue following the conditioned patterns of the past.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that what keeps me from SLOWING DOWN is fear of change, fear of being alone with myself, fear of facing me, my creation, my existence, my own acceptance and allowances in my reality.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that SLOWING DOWN actually effects me to move faster, because within slowing down I bring myself back HERE to Real-Time, where I can walk every moment as it is here, taking into consideration all that is here equally.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that through SLOWING DOWN I move myself out of the mind where everything moves so fast I can't even really keep track of myself, and into Real-Time where who I am in every breath determines what I create as me, my creation, my existence.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that REALITY is HERE in every moment - yet we are trapped in the mind where we can dream about change and fantasize about a better future -

refusing however to acknowledge that any change towards a better future requires our PRACTICAL living application in EVERY MOMENT, with every breath.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that I am WASTING MY TIME when rushing within the mind, following thoughts and emotions without giving them any direction in self-honesty and common sense.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse /reason  /justification that "I don't have time", when I waste so much time trapped in thoughts, moods, or physical resistances - yet I do not GIVE myself the time to actually and practically LIVE.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that when I SLOW DOWN, I can effectively direct myself in every moment within self-honesty and practical common sense - making sure that I am the one moving me and giving myself direction, instead of being moved/directed by the conditioned patterns of consciousness that are basically based in Fear and accepted inFeariority.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as YOUNG and YOUTHFUL and full of VITALITY, and to fear getting OLD and RUSTY;

while I in fact BECOME old and rusty every time I am faced with a point of change yet give in to the resistance: where I suddenly feel tired and heavy and wasted, and I tell myself in the mind that I am TOO OLD to do this or change that... accepting the resistance in that moment as my limitation, and creating JUSTIFICATIONS as to Why I am not in fact changing.

Within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to GIVE UP on MYSELF, thinking and believing and accepting the beLIEf that I am 'too old' for this or that...

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I don't want to live longer, I don't have to live longer, when in fact within this I am trying to downplay my fear of death, my fear of the end - and so I already give up on myself here and now, thinking and believing that this is the end and if I just accept it everything will be okay.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see my application of GIVING UP on myself and that when the thoughts become 'too much' I allow myself to go into a state of DESPAIR -

which I then try to deny through THINKING and TALKING and DREAMING about living change and living solutions, yet when the moment is HERE, I give in to the RESISTANCE that comes up and I become HEAVY, and I then find all kinds of distractions and excuses to not have to move through the resistance and actually MOVE MYSELF beyond my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I've accepted a 'human nature', a human existence, where we allow ourselves to be victim to TIME instead of learning through time and using time to support ourselves.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to be Here in full awareness in every moment.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist as an automated system through the mind, refusing to acknowledge the fact that if my body wasn't breathing FOR me, my consciousness as what I define myself as: would not exist.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to consider that through my existence as consciousness I waste my breath in the pursuit of the self-interest of the conditioned mind - instead and slowing down to walk the real-time breath by breath existence of the physical body that I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an existence where we use TIME as an excuse - where we are somehow always 'too late', 'too old', 'too busy', and then we feel sorry for ourselves - instead of equalizing ourselves to TIME by Walking Life in Real-Time = being HERE with every breath we take and practically moving ourselves breath by breath, step by step, in awareness of Who We Are and what we create in every moment.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see that we are ABLE to stop our conditioned patterns and SLOW DOWN through our own self-directive will power, making sure that what we nurture through our existence is not our mental rush for energy based on our conditioned self-interest, but LIFE as ourselves and each-other in the actuality of reality HERE.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we either slow down and LIVE every moment in self-awareness as life;

or we remain in the rush of the mind and exist as fearful robots of consciousness, manifesting an abomination of life, seen in the world as we know it.

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com
 Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

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ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo