An Earthling's Journey to Life: Backchat

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Mittwoch, 7. November 2012

Day 198: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #4

I am continuing from

Day 189: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct

Day 190: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

Day 191: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct #3
Day 192: Be_Longing | IMAGINATION Dimension of the Mind Construct
Day 193: Be-Longing | IMAGINATION Dimension of the Mind Construct #2
Day 194: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct
Day 195: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2
Day 197: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #3

Looking now specifically at the points I had listed in Laying out the Mind Construct (Day 186) -

They don’t care about me

I am only being used to satisfy THEIR needs / concepts / desires / dreams

They don’t really want me here

For them it’s not about me/who I am, it’s about what THEY want/need

Yes, look, they don’t do this & that… / they are/do… -- that means they don’t give a fuck

Again I am waiting for them

I always have to wait

I hate waiting for them

I hate needing them

Why do I care, if they don’t

I feel used / abused

I feel trapped

I need to run away, far away

They hurt me

Fuck them ‘cause they don’t care

If they make me feel like I’m worth nothing – then they are worth nothing

- a memory pops up from the time when I was around 7 or 8 years old:

I was a busy child as I was sent to several kinds of extra lessons in the afternoons, and at that time I was still not allowed to walk to the lessons and back home on my own. So I was depending on a parent to pick me up, and the parent responsible for picking me up would always be late, and I would have to wait to be picked up. This was a very stressful situation for me back then, because there was the uncertainty on the one hand about when I will be picked up and how long I´d have to wait, also wondering what if I´ve been forgotten and am not going to be picked up, as sometimes I had to wait for over an hour and would then start to lose hope and also to get angry, blaming the parent in my mind and accusing them of being irresponsible, unreliable, not caring, etc. On the other hand, there was one particular school where the class I was attending was otherwise attended by boys - I was the only girl. The boys were of different ages, and two of them were older, like 14 or 15 at that time. When these boys saw that I was waiting alone, they would nag me and make jokes at my expenses, and I had neither the skill nor the strength to keep up with that. It was a weird kind of bullying that was taking place with an additional sexual component, which I at that time wasn´t even really understanding or realizing. So this whole situation was quite a stress for me, and there was nothing I hated more than having to wait, be left to wait, be dependent on being picked up yet not being able to rely on that, and not being allowed to walk home on my own either.

So from all this, an interesting pattern emerged, where even though what I hated most was to wait, I in later years developed the habit of waiting for others to initiate a point or to make a move or a decision.

From this developed a self-sabotage pattern as I realize, because I would then utilize the ´waiting´ as a justification for blaming "others" and making "them" responsible for me waiting, when in fact I´d be the one that made the decision to wait in the first place.

So, even though, the situation was no longer the same (I was no longer dependent on being picked up or anything, and I was a grown up person able to make its own decisions), I would in some twisted way place myself in a position of ´waiting´, why? The only reason evident here is to then make the one(s) I am waiting for responsible for me waiting. Twisted. This is nothing but a self-sabotage point, wherein what I was in fact participating in was manipulation, in fact self-manipulation. This point of ´waiting´ had become quite a subtle point, and often I myself wouldn´t realize that I had projected a decision, a step, an initiative, onto another/"others" and then waited for them to move so that I can move = total abdication of self-movement, thus abdication of self-responsibility.

This is similar to any point where self is making self dependent on ´external factors´, then blaming such ´external factors´ ("others", the world, society, the system, particular situations in one´s world) and making "them" responsible for one´s situation and experience in life.

I mean, obviously, there are factors in our world that we cannot change, at least not with one decision, and as long as we are subject to the current system, this is something we require to see and understand, and differentiate between what can be changed and what will require an entire process to be changed, like the current money-system and world system as a whole.

However, identifying the points one IS able to change, that is where self-responsibility comes in, because to then make ´external factors´ responsible or even to project blame when one is not taking direct responsibility but is waiting for others/situations to change first: that is simply self-dishonesty and self-sabotage.

If I take the above points and look at them in self-honesty, I can see how they are forming a pattern – and I can see how the backchat is then actually used to ‘justify’ the pattern, with the result that I within that abdicate my self-responsibility through projected blame and self-victimization.

Therefore, I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to go into the habit of Waiting, wherein I´d make ´external factors´ responsible for my life and my experience of myself and would then wait for these factors to change before I change.

Within this I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility because it is easier to make others responsible than to take absolute self-responsibility and self-directive principle.

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to project blame onto others / ´external factors´ and to within this abdicate my responsibility.

I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that abdicating my responsibility is equal to abdicating my power.

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am powerless, when all the while I was making myself powerless, through projecting blame and abdicating responsibility outside of myself.

I see, realize and understand that as long as we blame ´external factors´, we are separating self from them and thus have no power to change anything. Therefore the solution is to, whenever I see myself going into blame or making something else responsible for who I am: to stop, breathe,and make sure I bring the point back to self to take responsibility for.

I see, realize and understand that whatever I am facing in my world, my reality: I am the creator of. As it is through my acceptances and allowances that situations emerge and are formed, for instance through the acceptance of the belief that ´external factors´ are responsible for who and how I am, I am allowing external factors to in fact determine who and how I am.

Thus I am responsible, whether I direct myself in self-honesty or whether I deceive myself through self-manipulation and self-abdication, supported through backchatting in the mind about how I am being the victim and how I always have to wait for others/things to change before I can change.

I commit myself to investigate all factors which I make responsible for who and how I am, and to take all points back to self to take responsibility for; to see and distinguish what it is that I am able to change and thus do so in absolute self-responsibility, and what it is that I cannot change and thus assess in common sense what would be required for a change to come forth, wherein I am then able to do my part and if necessary show others how they can do their part, so that a situation is changed/transformed into what is best for all.

I commit myself to investigate any and all points where I´d postpone making a decision, and clarify for myself whether I am ´waiting for something/someone´ and thus abdicating my responsibility and directive-principle; so as to then make the decision to Stop Waiting and start walking, living the solution into beingness, in self-honesty and self-responsibility.

To be continued.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite –
a free course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

Check out the Equal Money System –
a solution that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.

Join us in the Journey to Life!

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://CreationsJourneyToLife.blogspot.com
http://EarthsJourneyToLife.blogspot.com
http://HeavensJourneyToLife.blogspot.com
http://EconomistJourneyToLife.blogspot.com
http://Desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://EarthGlobalReview.wordpress.com

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Dienstag, 6. November 2012

Day 197: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #3

ART by Kelly Posey

I am continuing from

Day 189: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct

Day 190: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

I realize that any and all backchat is about measuring and weighing out VALUE – which is what our participation in ENERGY is based on, whether that energy is about money, love, affection, attention, validation, winning, being liked, you name it – it’s about the ‘more’, the ‘better than’, the ‘superior’, the ‘success’ from a starting-point of self-interest –

hence an existence of constant competition, failing to practically consider the interest of LIFE as a whole.

I see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE – wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out how to ‘win’ and how to get to the satisfactions of one’s (conditioned!) wants, needs, desires and to the avoidance of one’s (respectively conditioned!) fears – within this in fact compromising self as life and giving-up the self-directive principle self can exist within/as through self-awareness and self-honesty in every moment of breath.

Therefore I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to self-realize life as the only real, actual value, through stopping the mind polarity within myself and aligning myself to the equality and oneness of life, within and through a participation in life that is in all possible ways ‘best for all’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat, trying to find or establish or gain ‘my value’ – as I realize that such participation in the mind would make me equal to and one with this world system of a dysfunctional consciousness where the value of life has been replaced with fake values to dumb down the human for the continuation of profit for a select few on the top of hierarchy.

I see, realize and understand that we cannot want, wish, demand the end of all hierarchy in the world, when this very system of hierarchy exists within and as our own minds, ‘in secret’. Therefore I commit myself to stopping all polarities, all fake values, all comparison and competition within myself, and to assisting and supporting myself in practically self-realizing life as the only real, actual value.

When and as I see myself thinking and believing and feeling like I don’t belong or that “others” are not valuing me /not valuing me ‘enough’: I stop BEFORE going into back-chatting about it in the mind – because the moment the internal conversations begin – it’s too late, as the directive-principle is already given up to the voice in the head that’s now trying to fight for its survival, its ‘right’ to exist, its ‘right’ to ‘win’.

I see, realize and understand that such personalities (the “I don’t belong” personality for instance) were in fact formed and created THROUGH the repetition of such thoughts, backchat, internal conversations, and thus Stopping self from existing as such personality, I require to stop all levels through which I access and become it.

I commit myself to stopping backchat / internal conversations about my life and my experience of myself, wherein I would within the mind move between the polarities of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ perception –
as I realize that both value-judgments are just that: perceptions, definitions, judgments.

Therefore, instead of basing my life and my self-worth on definitions, I approach my life and myself in self-honesty and practical common sense, to assist and support myself in making informed decisions that are in the interest of life, thus also in my own best interest as who I really am of life.

I commit myself to stop within myself all judgment, ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ – as I realize the practical implication of the words “Judge not lest you be judged”, namely that all judgment reflects self and returns to self.
Thus I commit myself to investigating the judgment existent within me to see and face my acceptances and allowances, and within that take responsibility to re-align the equations of my existence: from the mental polarity consciousness we are trapped within, into and as the oneness and equality of life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself in stopping the abdication of myself to the polarity value-judgments of the mind; as well as stopping the abdication of my self-responsibility to ‘external factors’, wherein I’d either make ‘external factors’ responsible for my ‘fulfilment’ (‘positive’ polarity) or responsible for my ‘discontent’ (‘negative’ polarity) –

because I see the actual consequence that is practically implied within this: namely the abdication of self responsibility and making self subject to ‘external factors’, thus in essence giving-up the point of self-determination and self-directive principle.

Therefore whenever I see myself going into blaming or making others responsible within my mind, I stop, I take a breath, and I realign myself in self-responsibility through bringing all points back to self and taking self-directive to stand in self-determination, as best for life, for all, for me.

I see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE –
wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out equations of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ – thus creating, manifesting, and accepting INEQUALITY – perpetuating consequently the HUMAN RACE which is a competition for ENERGY –
Energy being the “value” we assign to things mentally, in terms of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’, within this disregarding and ignoring the ACTUAL VALUE of/as LIFE, as ourselves, each-other, this world, our existence.

Therefore I assist and support myself to, through self-honesty, effective breathing and remaining here within and as the physical reality, stop my participation in ENERGY, which serves me in no way other than dictating to me the ‘ups and downs’ of my existence due to comparison, competition, and value-judgments;
and I commit myself to walking the practical process of stopping the conditioned polarities of the mind consciousness and set myself free from the RACE of survival, to finally LIVE and discover what life really is/can be.

I assist and support myself to question WHAT it is that’s back-chatting /having internal conversations within MY mind WITHOUT my directive instruction – because I see that throughout my life I have merely followed the ‘voices in my head’, because apparently they ‘explain’ to me my ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

I see, realize and understand that such ‘fuzzy logic’ exists to serve self-interest, while I in fact did not know or understand where the feelings and emotions came from, how they were formed, and where the thoughts in my mind come up from when I did not put them there myself.

I see, realize and understand that backchat /internal conversation exist to create the (fuzzy!) logic that is set to ‘validate’ the ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ that come-up through the friction in one’s world related to the wants, needs and desires of the ego mind consciousness one exists as –
when in fact such ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ are products of conditioning and the result of accepted self-definitions created through value-judgment and comparison in a world where the value of life is disregarded and exploited in the name of profit / self-interest.

When I look at the backchat in my mind directly, in self-honesty and common sense, I see that all ‘explanation’ comes-up in a way that abdicates by responsibility and creates JUSTIFICATIONS and ‘excuses’ as to why for instance the inner conflict is valid or why for instance blaming another/’external factors’ is valid –
when clearly it is not, because how can blame and abdication of self-responsibility be valid when we can see all around us throughout the history of mankind that blame has gotten us no-where and FEAR is used as an excuse to not have to take responsibility for What is Here;

after all – What is Here: WE have created / accepted / allowed / given permission for to exist.

Therefore I commit myself to understand my conditioned feelings and emotions and acknowledge the limitation and consequences of self-definitions of polarity, so that I may stop the mind-control from the inside out and discover what it really means to FEEL life, as life.

Because obviously, in a world where a child dies every couple of seconds everywhere around us, from preventable cause, while we feel NOTHING but the mental bubbles of definitions we are trapped within: indicates that we have no awareness of life, but only an awareness of consciousness, and that not even to the fullest so that we may direct our consciousness in self-responsibility.

Therefore I continue walking my process, with the support of the tools and facilitators at the Desteni I Process, where we in fact get to know the totality of ourselves to regain our power and responsibility for all aspects of the consciousness that we have become –
as that is the only way of changing / transforming our existence through self-directive will, to manifest a world where there is no more slaves and masters, but all are able to get to self-mastery through a process of Man Know Thyself – thus an existence where all beings have equal power, equal responsibility, equal rights, equal access and participation in life.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to stop trusting what comes-up in the mind automatically, habitually, repeatedly, re-cycling again and again WITHOUT any constructive, supportive result whatsoever – because clearly what comes-up in the mind are bipolar patterns of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ thoughts, memories, definitions, from which accordingly emerge the respective ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

I see, realize and understand that as long as we are busy in the MIND, we cannot be Here as Life, because in the mind each one is busy defending and justifying Self-Interest –
Self-Interest being the ONE Ring that Binds Us All, the ‘Ring of Power’, the polarity cycle, the snake biting its own tail, the never-ending system of self-delusion as Energy.

I commit myself to investigate and stop all inner conflict – as I realize that inner conflict is always the result of self-dishonesty, when self accepts and allows within self the bipolar condition of back-chatting /internal conversations of and as value-judgments.

Therefore, I rather look at things/self in self-honesty and common sense to in fact see direct, see what is here, see things for what they are and thus assist and support myself in understanding cause and effect and taking responsibility for all consequence/outflows of ‘who one is’ in every moment.

I see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are but an INTERPRETATION of reality according to the individual self-interest – and that to SEE reality for what it is, one has to let go of self-interest, let go of fear which is but an excuse, let go of the conditioned wants/needs/desires of the ego mind consciousness, and self-realize LIFE within and as the interconnectedness of this physical reality we all share, this physical world that is currently constantly at WAR due to the RAW nature of Self-Interest we accept and allow ourselves to exist within and as.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself and my world in STOPPING ALL WAR within and without, and I walk this until it’s done and Life is again ONE, within a oneness where ALL participants are EQUAL as LIFE.

That is why I support an equal money system, because it will assist and support humanity in letting go of the fake values we desperately hold onto, and restore the value of life in all aspects of practical living, so that no part of life needs to suffer or struggle like it is currently the case in the accepted world system where life is exploited for profit.

Check out the Equal Money System –
a solution that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite –
a free course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

ART by Kelly Posey

Join us in the Journey to Life!

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

Samstag, 3. November 2012

Day 195: Be_Longing | BACKCHAT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

ART by Kelly Posey

I am continuing from

Day 189: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct

Day 190: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into backchat / internal conversations about my life and my experience of myself, wherein I would within the mind move between the polarities of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ perception –
instead of realizing that both value-judgments are just that: perceptions, definitions, judgments.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed judgment within myself – instead of realizing the practical implication of the words “Judge not lest you be judged”, namely that all judgment reflects self and returns to self –

therefore I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider and investigate the consequences of the judgment existent within me/my mind through my acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to, through judgment, try and abdicate my self-responsibility to ‘external factors’, wherein I’d either make ‘external factors’ responsible for my ‘fulfilment’ (‘positive’ polarity) or responsible for my ‘discontent’ (‘negative’ polarity) –
instead of seeing the actual consequence that is practically implied within this: namely the abdication of self responsibility and making self subject to ‘external factors’, thus in essence giving-up the point of self-determination and self-directive principle.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE –
wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out how to ‘win’ and how to get to the satisfactions of one’s (conditioned!) wants, needs, desires and to the avoidance of one’s (respectively conditioned!) fears – within this in fact compromising self as life and giving-up the self-directive principle self can exist within/as through self-awareness and self-honesty in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are about VALUE – wherein the ego as the mind consciousness persona weighs out equations of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ – thus creating, manifesting, and accepting INEQUALITY – perpetuating consequently the HUMAN RACE which is a competition for ENERGY –

Energy being the “value” we assign to things mentally, in terms of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’, within this disregarding and ignoring the ACTUAL VALUE of/as LIFE, as ourselves, each-other, this world, our existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that backchat /internal conversation exist to create the (fuzzy!) logic that is set to ‘validate’ the ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ that come-up through the friction in one’s world related to the wants, needs and desires of the ego mind consciousness one exists as –

when in fact such ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’ are products of conditioning and the result of accepted self-definitions created through value-judgment and comparison in a world where the value of life is disregarded and exploited in the name of profit / self-interest.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist in inner conflict – instead of realizing that inner conflict is always the result of self-dishonesty, when self accepts and allows within self the bipolar condition of back-chatting /internal conversations of and as value-judgments, rather than looking at things/self in self-honesty and common sense to in fact see direct, see what is here, see things for what they are and thus assist and support self in understanding cause and effect and taking responsibility for all consequence/outflows of ‘who one is’ in every moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to consider and question WHAT it is that’s back-chatting /having internal conversations within MY mind WITHOUT my directive instruction – and yet I will follow and believe the ‘voices’, because they ‘explain’ to me my ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

However, when I in self-honesty and common sense look at the backchat in my mind directly, I see that all ‘explanation’ comes-up in a way that abdicates by responsibility and creates JUSTIFICATIONS and ‘excuses’ as to why for instance the inner conflict is valid or why for instance blaming another/’external factors’ is valid –
when clearly it is not, because how can blame and abdication of self-responsibility be valid when we can see all around us throughout the history of mankind that blame has gotten us no-where and FEAR is used as an excuse to not have to take responsibility for What is Here;

after all – What is Here: WE have created / accepted / allowed / given permission for to exist.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to place trust in what comes-up in the mind automatically, habitually, repeatedly, re-cycling again and again WITHOUT any constructive, supportive result whatsoever –
when clearly what comes-up in the mind are bipolar patterns of ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ thoughts, memories, definitions, from which accordingly emerge the respective ‘feelings’ and ‘emotions’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that as long as we are busy in the MIND, we cannot be Here as Life, because in the mind each one is busy defending and justifying Self-Interest –
Self-Interest being the ONE Ring that Binds Us All, the ‘Ring of Power’, the polarity cycle, the snake biting its own tail, the never-ending system of self-delusion as Energy.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all backchat /internal conversations are but an INTERPRETATION of reality according to the individual self-interest –
and that to SEE reality for what it is, one has to let go of self-interest, let go of fear which is but an excuse, let go of the conditioned wants/needs/desires of the ego mind consciousness, and self-realize LIFE within and as the interconnectedness of this physical reality we all share, this physical world that is currently constantly at WAR due to the RAW nature of Self-Interest we accept and allow ourselves to exist within and as.

I continue walking my process of moving myself out of the conditioned existence of/as the mind, and into the actuality of reality within and as the physical, to see and understand cause and effect and thus be able to effectively take responsibility for myself, my world, this existence we all share, as one, as equals.

I will continue with this point in my next blog post.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a free course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

Check out the Equal Money System – a solution that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.

Join us in the Journey to Life!

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

Sonntag, 26. August 2012

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

ART by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Within the context of investigating my creation and the consequences thereof, in other words within the process of facing myself and taking responsibility for who I am and what I create, I am realizing the extensive nature of ‘backchat’ and the consequences of following thoughts, internal conversations and energetic experiences in the mind (=backchat) and how the acceptance of such forms multiple personalities which, if not stopped/transformed through self-honesty and self-responsibility, may take over a being completely and lead to decisions or actions one will end up regretting.

What is interesting to notice is that thoughts are always bipolar in nature (positive and negative), creating thus bipolar experiences of positive or negative energy, and within that all: the ‘one’ that is forming, accepting and following the backchat is always attempting to ‘WIN’ based on a one-dimensional point of view (EGO) which one then tries to ‘validate’ at all cost.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be self-righteous about my thoughts, in spite of the fact that the moment before a thought comes up, I did not make a decision to ‘think’, yet the thought comes up and I follow the thought and give it attention, believing what it is telling me, forming from there all kinds of assumptions and conclusions, creating an entire alternate reality that has nothing to do with the actuality of reality that takes place in physical space-time;

within this basically create my own delusion which I then defend as if it were real, blind to the consequences of such diversion through my own acceptance and allowance.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow the mind through accepting ‘backchat’ to take place and allowing myself to believe and follow the backchat as if my mind is some kind of ‘god’ that is all-knowing –

instead of realize that within blindly following the mind I am in fact abdicating my responsibility, because I am simply following, not even questioning the consequences that I’d be actually able to see if I would allow myself to do the 1+1 mathematical equation of what it is I am accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that any form of projected anger, blame, pity, discontent etc. that comes up in the mind in form of thoughts that involve another, where another is apparently to blame for: indicate absolute self-separation and the abdication of self-responsibility; furthermore they indicate a certain want / need / desire which one attempts to fulfil through another, instead of taking self-responsibility for who one is and how one experience oneself and why.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to go into a state of ‘superiority’ within the mind through ‘backchat’, thinking and believing I understand another or have a clue what another is thinking – all the while I was simply projecting my own fears and insecurities unto another, to not have to face myself and take absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed backchat to exist within me as a ‘secret mind’ – instead of walking step by step in physical space-time and dealing DIRECTLY with what is here in my space-time reality at any given moment.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create frictions and conflict – not realizing that this friction and conflict only served the fuelling of my backchat, because the more friction and conflict, the more the backchat seems ‘right’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to follow the backchat that comes up automatically in the mind – which I realize I have created over a lifetime in specific situations – instead of directly and immediately investigating what thoughts come up, what are they trying to tell me, who would I be/define myself as if I believed the thoughts, what personalities are activate, what am I as the mind trying to gain out of it all, what is the game that is played, what am I supposed to ‘win’, etc. –

so that I may place myself in a position of directing myself in self-honesty and practical common sense, instead of accepting and allowing the conditioned mind to direct me, the mind that is based in fear.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist as a slave to fear and thus a slave to the conditioned mind, thinking and believing the mind can be trusted –

instead of realizing that the mind consciousness is conditioned as EGO and can therefore not be trusted with life, cannot be trusted to make decisions in a way that supports all life equally, cannot be trusted to regard the value of life as oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle to consciousness as backchat as Ego in the ‘secret mind’ – and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to identify with and accept the backchat as ‘me’, as ‘normal’, as ‘logical’; instead of remaining Here as Breath and taking apart what the mind is showing me so that I may take responsibility for what is going within me and make an informed decision in self-responsibility about what I will accept and allow and what I will not accept or allow within me as me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all violence, all conflict, all war in the world is the result of backchat in the ‘secret mind’ – a direct result of our separation from life as oneness and inequality and into a consciousness of polarity where there are ‘winners’ and ‘losers’, yet fascinatingly enough everyone always tries to ‘win’; therefore war and conflict is the inevitable manifested consequence of our existence and the actual friction that fuels the world system and keeps the world running.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be a cause for war in the world, a cause for conflict of interest, through existing within self-interest through and as the conditioned mind: based in fear (inferiority) yet always trying to ‘win’ (superiority), while the solution to our plight as humanity is simple: the self-realization of life as oneness and equality, starting with equality and oneness within and as self, wherein self stand-up within self to take responsibility for all parts of self as equal and one, to stop the separation within self and stand as accountable individual that is truly ONE and equal within itself in all possible, thus standing in integrity and taking full responsibility for what one create through/as the directive principle of one’s WILL.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that no WILL is free unless it stands in integrity as LIFE;

and that currently in the world free will implies the freedom to abuse and exploit others in SELF-INTEREST, which is a direct reflection of the backchat human beings allow within the ‘secret mind’;

while FREE WILL would in fact imply the WILLingness to take responsibility for self and that exists as self and direct it in the INTEREST of LIFE.

I commit myself to walking my process of identifying, forgiving and correcting any and all backchat that I have created throughout my life based on my conditioned consciousness – to take responsibility for everything that exists within me as me and make sure that who I am within and without is always in the interest of life.

I commit myself to stopping myself from blindly following backchat whenever it comes up, and to in the moment backchat is activated: stop and breathe, and bring myself back here in the realization that I am able to breathe any energetic experience through my body and release it back to substance, into the earth, to earth myself Here making sure I stand my ground as a being that is committed to Life.

I commit myself to, when and as backchat comes up, stop myself from following the mind and allowing it to direct me, my experience and my decisions; and to instead breathe here and slow down to make sure I take self-responsibility and remain the directive principle of me in self equality and oneness.

I commit myself to walking the tools of the Desteni I Process, and sharing my realizations and process of self-support, as I see that we require support and assistance to identify, understand and work with the accepted backchat and all forms of the ‘secret mind’, to take self-responsibility and realize ourselves as accountable human beings that are no longer simply accepting ‘human nature’ as organic robots driven by fear in accepted inferiority, and not trying to cover that up through delusions of ‘superiority’ either –

but assisting and supporting ourselves to get to that point of self equality and oneness where one stand within and as integrity and has thus the will and the power to direct all of self as one and equal; stopping the separation of self, stopping the abdication of self and self’s creation, and living the realization that responsibility is power and that true power is within and as equality and oneness as life.

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

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Donnerstag, 14. Juni 2012

Day 7: Self-Sabotage - The Mind will Divide and Conquer until I Stop the Separation

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist in complete mistrust of myself and others through constantly being busy in my mind with questioning reality in a way to 'validate' and 'prove right' the personality-backchat in the mind that I have come to realize is set out to 'prove' me a loser, a failure, not worthy of forgiveness, not worthy of love.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to doubt anyone that express affection to me, just to 'prove' within my mind that I am not worthy of affection - when in fact it is I that is not giving me the affection minimum of allowing myself to forgive myself, allowing myself to be 'liked', allowing myself to take some credit, allowing myself to be worthy, allowing myself to accept myself, allowing myself to TRUST.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to through the mind always try and find points that would 'support' my feeling of mistrust, to not have to accept and receive the trust that is being offered to me by another, because apparently I have to validate my mind in thinking and believing that nothing and no one can be trusted and that people always let you down.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the memory of my parents as letting me down, and to from this one point walk my life through and as the projected memory and thus the fear of: being let down;

at the same time existing in the desire to trust and be trusted, but never actually allowing myself to practically live that trust as who I am and how I live;

therefore within that I actually exist in constant fear and desire - the desire to trust and be trusted and the fear to be let down: a projected polarity of the mind based on that one point of memory, on which I have based the entire experience of myself, instead of letting go of the memory, forgiving my experience, forgiving myself and moving on to actually live and allow myself to trust reality in common sense without the backchat that is trying to 'prove' people evil and bad within my mind to justify my fear and limitation.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that the mind is always only creating logic that is trying to prove and validate that which it 'knows', that which it identifies with, be it 'positive' or 'negative', because that is the self-consciousness program that has become alive through repetition and make-belief while the being that self really is becomes suppressed and dominated by a mind consciousness that feeds off the energetic effects produced and experienced within the physical, provided the being that I am follows the reactions and the belief that they are 'real'.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that what I experience is 'real' only from the perspective that I make it real and it will be real as long as I accept it as such and as long as I give it permission to exist - but in fact that which I experience as reactions and thoughts and emotions is but the mind-set of a conditioned personality that I did not choose or decide to be, but became through 'the sins of the fathers' as the feedback and communication I was exposed to as a child of adults that understood themselves and the world not any better than I do.

I commit myself in letting go of all points I did not directively decide to be/become, and to re-design myself based on equality and oneness, self-dignity, self-respect, self-honesty and practical common sense as best for life;

to stop all self-sabotage, stop the mind-existence of ego as self-consciousness, and birth myself as life, as an equal and integer, accountable and trustworthy individual, as the directive principle of self, as who I really am as life.

I commit myself to removing the chains I keep myself chained onto, both within and without.

I commit myself to stopping myself from following the automated emotions, thoughts/ backchat and behaviors that come up within me - because I realize that the purpose of such secret-mind components is to 'validate', 'justify' and 'prove right' the personalities of mind I have become throughout my life in this world system, whereby I myself have become a system, a system based on wants, needs and desires that are not even my own but were impulsed onto me by my environment, and so I have come to consume life instead of living life, to consume myself instead of living myself, to consume others instead of LOVING others as my neighbor - as Jesus suggested 2000 years ego.

I commit myself to loving myself enough to stop every moment I see myself going into a reaction / thought / emotion that is trying to tell me that I am not getting enough, that I need more, that I cannot trust this or that person because they will let me down, that this or that person do not really like me otherwise they would do this and that... -

and I commit myself to stopping the controls of the backchat that is trying to 'have its way' and 'prove' to me that I am a failure, unworthy, unloved.

I commit myself to not letting myself down - realizing that this whole point reflected through my mind is showing me: myself -

and therefore I commit to living and applying self-trust through stopping the backchat in every breath;

and I commit to living and applying self-worth by not letting myself down.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to let myself down every time I follow the mind of beliefs, thoughts, emotions and all kinds of automated reactions.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as self-sabotage and ultimately self-destruction -- where I have become my mind by following the mind yet inside me there is also this being, me, that is oppressed and limited by the mind, and thus I exist in constant inner conflict and mistrust, which is then reflected back to me within my world /my reality for me to see me and Stop.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to expect others to show me I am worthy by 'not letting me down' while I within myself have accepted myself as unworthy and thus have let myself down.

I forgive myself for expecting from others that which I do not give to myself: acceptance, worth, love.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to give to myself acceptance, to give to myself worth, to give to myself love.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from worth and from acceptance through creating conclusions and self-definitions out of childhood experiences and then existing in an attempt to 'prove me right' - because if I am 'right' then I will be able to blame others as for instance my parents, my childhood, the world, for being who I am and experiencing myself the way I do.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to realize that only I can give myself self-worth as life; only I can give myself self-acceptance as life; and that I cannot expect from others that which I am not willing to GIVE myself - again a Jesus message from eons of time ago.

I commit myself to stopping the backchat as it is only limiting me to an existence of isolation, self-loathing and spitefulness.

I commit myself to stopping all blame that I project onto others.

I commit myself to stopping self-judgment and all judgment for that matter - to see things for what they are in self-clarity and practical common sense.

I commit myself to stopping my expectations for my desires to be fulfilled by others - and to fulfilling my desires for life as myself: through giving me back to me and standing up to live self-worth, self-acceptance, self-love in the way that I would like to receive it, so that I am also able to give it to others equally and unconditionally.

I commit myself to allowing myself to receive what is given to me by others as a gift of life, be it unconditional sharing, time shared together, feedback or support.

I commit myself to stopping myself from existing in a capitalist, consumerist state of mind wherein I 'measure' everything that is given to me to find it 'unworthy' just because I see myself as 'unworthy'. I stop myself from going into debt within myself and causing the death of life, and I instead choose the death of the lie, the death of the mental possession, the death of the separation, the death of ego as self-consciousness - to birth myself as life, as directive principle, as a self-willed equal, as an expression of real love and compassion, as an expression of self-dignity and respect for life.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to respect myself as life - only because I've been following the mind and the therein accepted definitions, ideas and judgments - based in comparison and fake values sold to us by the system, instead of accepting and honoring ourselves and each-other as the value of life.

I commit myself to being the giver - both for myself and others.

I commit myself to giving that which I would like to receive.

I commit myself to living that which I would like to receive.

I commit myself to stopping self-pity, self-degradation and this whole loop of self-sabotage - realizing it's gonna take some time, but I will not stop until it's done and I am free from the accepted controls; until I break free from this self-imprisonment I have cast upon myself through the mind; until life as who I am is here as me, and I stand in self-dignity as the directive principle and the oneness of me as I am here, directing all my parts here as equals, united as one as I stand.