Samstag, 21. Dezember 2013

(484) Day X | Bursting the Bubble of Consciousness









Day ‘X’ is an interesting symbol. It’s like a cross-roads, the symbol of CHOICE.

How this is relevant may be seen within this writing.




Day X

I am bursting the bubble.


Is it painful? 
Yes. 
Because I had become the bubble.



Fascinating though how the pain experienced when bursting the bubble or when the bubble is about to burst: is mistaken for the pain of loss, when it is in fact the pain of insight, of self-honesty.



Is it really mistaking it then, or is it that we simply do not investigate, and it is in fact the ‘fear of loss’ that determines the thought “I would experience pain if I were to let go of this or if I were to lose that” etc. 


But if we accept the existence of ‘fear of loss’ without questioning/investigating/understanding it, are we then not in unawareness accepting an automatic in-formation, a definition of ourselves as ‘less than’ without that which we fear losing and a definition of ourselves as ‘more than’ when we do have/own/possess the BUBBLE that offers us that ‘something’ through which we see/define ourselves as somehow more VALUABLE.



How did this/such value system come into existence?

What happened to our value as life?

Where is self-worth, self-awareness, self-love, self-intimacy in LIVING ACTION – How can we look for worth, awareness, love, or intimacy in the world if we are not even living that for ourselves, within ourselves, as ourselves.




This existence exists through relationships. Everything is in relation to everything else. The moment you interact with something/someone you create a relationship to it = who you are in relation to it. Do we ever take directive in the name of life to in-form a moment to the best possible outcome, to make sure that our breath was invested in supporting life, in communicating with life, to make sure that who we are in fACT in that moment assists in strengthening and expanding the spark of life, as ourselves and each-other? 


If we look at each of our relationships, we will find it exists like a bubble, and it is fueled through/within polarities. There is no actual stability, because it is based on the two self-interests ‘coming together’ to feed off each other, obviously for as long as each can profit. There is no real trust, no real intimacy, no real living, individually and together. There is only bubbles, and fear, and a CONscience plotting in the secret mind.



So then, when the bursting of the bubble is ‘here’ in a moment, when the opportunity is here to let something go and expand self, we tend to go into fear.


Why?


Remember, consciousness exists as energy-addicted machine/system, using various programs, all in the same kind of patterns interestingly enough (of which there aren’t that many). Your consciousness based on its programming comes up with a REACTION to the pain, (ab)using the pain to create the justification eg. “I can’t let go, it will be painful” or “Poor me, I feel so helpless”. You then think that thought! You identify with it. You make your decisions from it. And what is the starting-point in essence? FEAR.

Consciousness has no fear, it creates/uses fear to manipulate. The only fear consciousness has is to stop existing, is to lose its power supply, which is energy harvested through and from the physical body every time we participate in energetic reactions and/or identify with mental and emotional patterns –

all of which are energy polarity games.

That is the reason why there is no real communion, communication, education, support and progress within and as humanity – we are busy playing games, whether in awareness or not. We are following the program, even the most intelligent of us.







Back to the point of Bursting the Bubble, and the pain and fear in that context: Consciousness thus as a program has got you by the balls, and it’s got you REACTING to the pain through/as your mind – instead of facing/seeing/communicating with the pain as a physical real reference to YOURSELF, like, life communicating to you, as you, through your physical body experience which if you’d self-honestly FACE, look at and investigate/understand: we human beings would be able to make more responsible, benevolent, and wise decisions.

In terms of reactions: it’s the same with fear, and with anything for that matter that comes up within oneself through the mind. Meaning, we go into REACTION towards fear, we go into an inferiority, and instead of facing, working with, and understanding the fear as part of ourselves, we fall victim to our reactions towards fear – we create/maintain separation within ourselves and our world, and miss what LIVING is all about.



Here one can also look at how we never really ever MEET or CONNECT to anything/anyone, because we only see and experience our REACTION to something or someone, our IDEA of them based on our self-interest. There we create a relationship of separation, wherein we not only cannot see another being, we cannot even see ourselves and what we create as our experience and as our reality. We only see the bubble our mental and emotional patterns of consciousness project for us to see. The ‘lifting of the veils’ is not gonna happen by miracle, it requires self-honest exploration and common sense investigation.



So, looking at our relationships and how we compromise ourselves and each-other through systems and patterns of separation as a matter of IDEAS, as well as looking to understand ourselves within who we are /have become, we must ask ourselves the question: But who are we as LIVING BEINGS in this physical reality? Who and how are we in every moment? What is the company we keep? What do we really care about?


Self-honesty is painful.








Is Consciousness Life ??



Fascinating how,

instead of seeing, realizing and understanding the ‘pain’ of self-honesty, wherein we see how we’ve been dishonest with ourselves, how we have deceived ourselves, how we’ve abused and manipulated ourselves and others in the name of self-interest, with justification, with fear, with spite, and without understanding or even seeking to truly understand and see what role WE play within how it all functions and plays-out and is experienced;

we connect the pain to that which we fear losing, to that which we hold so dear (it can be anything, an idea of freedom for instance or a mood that one obsess with, or a memory or thoughts and internal conversations, a desire, a fear – anything) and which constitutes the definition of our self-interest, of our perceived ‘ring of power’, of our means to manipulation.



But for this ‘ring of power’ to exist (regardless of where one is seeking for it: relationships, feelings, energetic experiences, fears, desires, money, sex, – anything) separation must exist. Protection mode must exist. Defense mechanisms must exist. For consciousness to exist a self-definition must exist, a relationship between self and the world, a definition of and a relationship to “my life”, and from here: mental and emotional patterns emerge that make up one’s experience in life. For consciousness to exist fear must exist. Energy must exist.


Energy can be imprinted with and thus programmed as anything, any possible frequency. So to have the fear in place, add its opposite polarity as love or desire or hope or faith, and there you have the human being trapped in polarities, feeding the constructs with energy through reactions, thoughts, emotions, energetic experiences / moods, justifications, inner conversations, etc. Desire and fear of loss, these being the main two polarities/energies driving the human being.


No wonder this world is the place it is. To have desire and fear of loss, another polarity is required: superiority and inferiority, a judgment of ‘better’/’more valuable’ and ‘worse’/’less valuable’. Having and Not-Having. Jealousy, competition, intrigue, manipulation, all in the name of self-interest, aka profit in the bigger scale.


Is this really the nature of humanity, or is it the nature of a system, trapping everyone and everything into its OWN survival (for which many lives are sacrificed!), in its OWN interest, in its OWN name, in separation from all as life.


It’s a question like the one about the chicken and the egg. The best way to look it, I suggest, is at the moment as a cycle: the system as we know it creates the human being in the image and likeness of the system, the human beings in turn (re-)creates the system in the image and likeness of the ACTUAL/LIVED definition of humanity. It hasn’t always been humane, and despite all its ‘declarations’ and ‘rights’ that are thrown about and referred to and ‘protected’, it consists of nothing but ILLUSIONARY IDEAS which though have detrimental consequences for our physical reality as a matter of fact. It is through OUR own acceptance and allowance, through OUR submission, OUR not-questioning, OUR inFEARiority, oh dear, that such illusion, such fraud, such abuse monster as this world was made possible, was given form, and emerged:

a world system, the externalization of the consciousness system that rules within, a consciousness in fear and delusions of grandeur, an always-hungry monster in self-indulgence with no regard, no consideration, and no care for life.






I am not writing all this to spite humanity, or to blame the human beings or the system or anything for that matter. I am not writing this to end up in bitterness and regret, though I am certain many will experience a sort of bitterness and regret. As many will experience an overwhelmed-ness, a powerlessness that may be channeled/acted-out in hate speech or other forms of ego attacks.

Often we feel like “oooh but that’s too much! I am just a human being”

Yes, it’s too much damage and pain that we human beings have caused already, to our world, to ourselves and each-other, and it’s time to change something. It’s too long that we didn’t really care for anything else than literally SURVIVAL, the survival of the ideas we hold of/about ourselves and others, about the world, about what life/living is.





Consciousness is a con awareness, its evolution and development being one of the most unexpected and fascinating ‘play-outs’ in the history of existence.

The awareness of life as life exists but like a minute flame, a spark, an insight in a moment – which however we seldom truly investigate, explore, take directive on. 
Our ‘awakening’ as humanity has thus far only existed as an idea, a projection, a reality ‘somewhere out there’ (and each one in their mind in separation forms one’s OWN picture/idea of it).


Consciousness, as a system, exists through our physical body. Without the body, there exists no personality, no awareness. Really? Oh there is awareness in the physical! It’s just that, if we during our lives here in the physical identify ourselves with the mind/consciousness only or to the most part, how do we expect to have eternal life? How do we expect to be anything better in some ‘higher dimensions’?



In other words, consciousness uses/abuses the mind to manipulate our beingness into existing within/as various ideas and personalities, from a starting-point and thus also a self-definition of: EGO. Consciousness are all the thoughts and imaginations based on FEAR. Fear is always self-interest protecting itself –

and it’s not difficult to imagine how such existence would have no other way to exist but within a bubble, a closed-system.


The human being is – we human beings exist within and as – a closed system. Every paranoia is self-created – and that’s easy to comprehend, but the real question here is Why? Why do we within our minds create hell? Why do we create in fear? Which not only occupies our minds but also affects and defines our physical existence, our experience, our behavior.














“In the Beginning was the Word” – But where did the Word Emerge from?


I talked about how mental and emotional patterns “emerge” within self, and how a monster of a world system “emerged” as the externalization of the consciousness system that rules within (a consciousness in fear and delusions of grandeur, an always-hungry monster in self-indulgence with no regard, no consideration, and no care for life) –



An operative word here being the word EMERGE.



How are such systems and patterns and value systems created within/as consciousness? Why do reactions and reaction patterns seemingly emerge within us? Can it be that we create them in unawareness? Can it be that the already existent systems (world, money, parents, schools) manage to imprint us with the programs during a time in which we are not yet quite able to communicate or comprehend words, let alone have a ‘sense’ (as in: definition) of value?

(The sense of value, by the way, is I would say quite existent within a baby, or an animal, have a look at how it will unconditionally communicate and commune with everything without judgement!)


Why do we not question our thoughts? Where do they come from? Why do we not investigate how our emotions and feelings are created – Why do we blindly follow a preprogramming that we did not in awareness determine, let alone understand.


Why do we not seek to understand ourselves beyond our self-image and how we ‘feel’ about ourselves and our reality? Why is it seemingly so difficult to be truly relaxed, at peace, here, breathing; with ourselves and another, to share intimately, to really be here and see beyond the veils. Can we perhaps not really see other human beings (or anything for that matter) because we do not even see ourselves? Can we perhaps not truly be relaxed, at peace, here, in intimacy, because we cannot decide to? Because nothing we do or say we really decide in integrity so that we can eternally stand by our word? Can it be that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be manipulated by and subjected to ‘the word’, instead of BEING the living word in self-awareness, as self-expression, in self-determination?


Where is our own SELF-WILL?


Or is the will of man driven by forces the human cannot comprehend! Is that why god and the devil exists – for the human to abdicate responsibility and throw a tantrum like a spoilt child?

Where would FREE WILL exist if not in the opportunity to make a difference, to change the pattern, to transform our nature and thus the nature of this world?!




And see, we actually DO see ourselves. It’s just that we don’t wanna look. We see ourselves in every here moment as we walk through our lives and participate in our reality, but mostly we see of ourselves our mental reality, our thoughts, our emotional and feeling experiences, our physical moods and energy relationships. We think we are what we think we are. And somehow we fail to see who we are in reality, who and how we are with others, who and how we are alone, what are the motives behind our actions and words, what are we presenting, what are we hiding, and why. What is the authority behind it all that is seemingly trying to keep a system in place – where life/living has become merely ‘surviving’. Is it you? Is it me?


No it’s not.

And yet it is. Because it is happening with our acceptance and allowance. It is given permission through our ignorance and our resistance to the truth of ourselves and our creation, because hey, then we would have to take self-responsibility and face who we are and have become! We would also have to see the already manifested consequence and realize OMG!









Self-honesty is painful. Re-Birth too. But does it have to be? Is there any sense in fearing death?



Self-honesty is where you see the past and see the limitation, self-compromise and self-abuse and self-deception within that; where you realize there is things and ideas that you’ll have to let go of, if you wanna move forward, if you wanna flourish, if you wanna be free and live for real;

That is the moment where often ‘fear of loss’ will come up, as if in a way fear losing that which we ‘know’ of ourselves, which is nothing else but the perceptual and illusionary ‘safety’ of the boundaries we set or accept for ourselves.


So it’s either we’re gonna fight for our limitation and give in to the fear and go into protection- and defense mechanisms and make sure we remain within the patterns that define us because then “we know who we are” (really?!) –

OR we’re gonna realize and decide that we must breathe through the time of ‘withdrawal’, we must push through the ‘fear’, we must contain the pain of birthing a new creation, a new expression, a new self-alignment, a new starting-point.



Letting go of the system within is in a way a death & re-birth process


We were birthed into this world and programmed in unawareness, in absence of self-responsibility; now we are able to in awareness and responsibility re-program and re-birth ourselves, as LIFE, in the name of life, equal to the value of life – and no longer maintain the current fraud system of false values.



And when we realize it’s all been a lie, the question comes up – but who am I?

Let’s see: I am the one who is able to slow down and start being here in real-time, with every moment, breath by breath. I am the one who is able to, in the moment where a reaction/energy is coming up, stabilize myself within myself, ground myself as I am here, and decide who I am and how I will express in this moment. We need no knowing, no guarantee, no safety net.


To ‘know’ is to repeat. 
Despite all our knowledge, history keeps repeating. Life keeps being subject to a system where profit /self-interest is placed before life. Knowledge is useless, because it is used less than what it takes to see the bigger picture and the responsibility that would enable us to stop for a moment, re-evaluate, change, transform, make a difference, re-form HUMANITY as ourselves and each-other to no longer disgrace the word HUMANITY.




I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself in embracing the unknown, and within this in developing self-trust, realizing that within it all, I can be the ‘known’, the stability, as I AM HERE, thus I can be trustworthy, in self-honesty. From here self-responsibility is seen, and it is seen as the power and personal freedom  that it is, bursting the bubble of the system definition of ‘responsibility’ that creates reaction and resistance, keeping the human limited, inFearior and dependent/addicted.




How (we as) consciousness used/abused energy to create addiction/obsession/possession so as to hold onto the physical, to feed on it, to exist through it, without caring for it or any other physical manifestation for that matter – this is a topic in itself that requires to be laid out, and I may pursue publishing something on this. It is in fact simplistic and I would like to see the mechanics explained in a graphic illustration or a mapped-out word illustration.



So we are in fact fighting for our limitations.

We identify with consciousness and keep the definition of ‘human beings’ and ‘humanity’ as bipolar, reactive organic robots, trapped in polarities of value, abusing power, destroying life within self and each-other, manipulating for self-interest, playing a game.

“Are you real, character?”

So little in this system is invested in cultivating real character, as who a human being is, as a human being and as a living expression, as part of a whole.



So how do we stop playing games? How do we REAL-eyes ourselves as life? How do we make ourselves real beyond the holographic illusions and skewed value systems of the accepted and conditioned  consciousness?


We have to literally breath by breath, moment by moment, walk ourselves out of the consciousness system, out of the patterns of fear, and into a living awareness as life – as a LIVING BEING in integrity, a LIVING BEING that is truly here, in consideration of what is here as ourselves and each-other and this universe that sustains us.



So – if we can indeed have death (letting go of, forgiving the past/fear and the polarities) and birth (self determination as to the self-expression / self-movement to be self-willed and lived/shared in a moment) in every moment – then I guess that answers the question whether LIFE is beyond life & death…



Have a look at the cells in our body, there is death and birth in every moment. And yet, it is simply substance returning to substance and reemerging as substance, equal and one. Maintaining a consistency, a trustworthiness, a stability that is no-where to be found in the mind /consciousness.

The cells of our body are countless, yet all together realize equal value as life and work-together as ONE, in integrity. There is no fear, no competition, no holding onto. There is movement and flow, there is understanding and cooperation, there is trust and certainty.



To create a real character of/as ourselves will take time, courage, and dedication. It will take a self-commitment that is no less than a commitment to life itself. To create a real character in integrity, we must be willing to let go of the LIE, of what we have accepted and allowed to become of li(f)e within and without; and we must literally move ourselves out of our addiction to energy games, our of our consciousness definitions of polarity, and into COMMON SENSE as life in awareness.



To walk ourselves out of the consciousness system and into a living awareness as life –

will take re-birthing ourselves in every moment.

Death and birth in every moment; as we birth ourselves as LIFE from the physical, for real. And it will be as within so without, and as above so below.

So we must really make sure we ‘purify’ our minds/consciousness within and without, i.e. take responsibility for what comes up within ourselves and what exists in our world, realizing at the same time that the TRUTH of ourselves is seen HERE IN THIS WORLD, in this PHYSICAL REALITY, with every word and deed, and also with every inaction and words unspoken.






There is support in the process of self-honesty and self-awareness as life.



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