Day ‘X’ is
an interesting symbol. It’s like a cross-roads, the symbol of CHOICE.
How this is
relevant may be seen within this writing.
Day X
I am bursting the bubble.
Is it
painful?
Yes.
Because I had become the bubble.
Fascinating
though how the pain experienced when bursting the bubble or when the bubble is
about to burst: is mistaken for the pain of loss, when it is in fact the pain
of insight, of self-honesty.
Is it
really mistaking it then, or is it that we simply do not investigate, and it is
in fact the ‘fear of loss’ that determines the thought “I would experience pain
if I were to let go of this or if I were to lose that” etc.
But if we
accept the existence of ‘fear of loss’ without
questioning/investigating/understanding it, are we then not in unawareness
accepting an automatic in-formation, a definition of ourselves as ‘less than’
without that which we fear losing and a definition of ourselves as ‘more than’
when we do have/own/possess the BUBBLE that offers us that ‘something’ through
which we see/define ourselves as somehow more VALUABLE.
How did
this/such value system come into existence?
What
happened to our value as life?
Where is
self-worth, self-awareness, self-love, self-intimacy in LIVING ACTION – How can
we look for worth, awareness, love, or intimacy in the world if we are not even
living that for ourselves, within ourselves, as ourselves.
This
existence exists through relationships. Everything is in relation to everything
else. The moment you interact with something/someone you create a relationship
to it = who you are in relation to it. Do we ever take directive in the name of
life to in-form a moment to the best possible outcome, to make sure that our
breath was invested in supporting life, in communicating with life, to make
sure that who we are in fACT in that moment assists in strengthening and expanding
the spark of life, as ourselves and each-other?
If we look
at each of our relationships, we will find it exists like a bubble, and it is
fueled through/within polarities. There is no actual stability, because it is
based on the two self-interests ‘coming together’ to feed off each other,
obviously for as long as each can profit. There is no real trust, no real
intimacy, no real living, individually and together. There is only bubbles, and
fear, and a CONscience plotting in the secret mind.
So then,
when the bursting of the bubble is ‘here’ in a moment, when the opportunity is
here to let something go and expand self, we tend to go into fear.
Why?
Remember,
consciousness exists as energy-addicted machine/system, using various programs,
all in the same kind of patterns interestingly enough (of which there aren’t
that many). Your consciousness based on its programming comes up with a
REACTION to the pain, (ab)using the pain to create the justification eg. “I
can’t let go, it will be painful” or “Poor me, I feel so helpless”. You then
think that thought! You identify with it. You make your decisions from it. And
what is the starting-point in essence? FEAR.
Consciousness
has no fear, it creates/uses fear to manipulate. The only fear consciousness
has is to stop existing, is to lose its power supply, which is energy harvested
through and from the physical body every time we participate in energetic
reactions and/or identify with mental and emotional patterns –
all of
which are energy polarity games.
That is the
reason why there is no real communion, communication, education, support and
progress within and as humanity – we are busy playing games, whether in
awareness or not. We are following the program, even the most intelligent of
us.
Back to the
point of Bursting the Bubble, and the pain and fear in that context: Consciousness
thus as a program has got you by the balls, and it’s got you REACTING to the
pain through/as your mind – instead of facing/seeing/communicating with the
pain as a physical real reference to YOURSELF, like, life communicating to you,
as you, through your physical body experience which if you’d self-honestly
FACE, look at and investigate/understand: we human beings would be able to make
more responsible, benevolent, and wise decisions.
In terms of
reactions: it’s the same with fear, and with anything for that matter that
comes up within oneself through the mind. Meaning, we go into REACTION towards
fear, we go into an inferiority, and instead of facing, working with, and
understanding the fear as part of ourselves, we fall victim to our reactions towards fear – we
create/maintain separation within ourselves and our world, and miss what LIVING
is all about.
Here one
can also look at how we never really ever MEET or CONNECT to anything/anyone,
because we only see and experience our REACTION to something or someone, our
IDEA of them based on our self-interest. There we create a relationship of
separation, wherein we not only cannot see another being, we cannot even see
ourselves and what we create as our experience and as our reality. We only see
the bubble our mental and emotional patterns of consciousness project for us to
see. The ‘lifting of the veils’ is not gonna happen by miracle, it requires
self-honest exploration and common sense investigation.
So, looking
at our relationships and how we compromise ourselves and each-other through
systems and patterns of separation as a matter of IDEAS, as well as looking to
understand ourselves within who we are /have become, we must ask ourselves the
question: But who are we as LIVING BEINGS in this physical reality? Who and how
are we in every moment? What is the company we keep? What do we really care
about?
Self-honesty
is painful.
Is Consciousness Life ??
Fascinating
how,
instead of
seeing, realizing and understanding the ‘pain’ of self-honesty, wherein we see
how we’ve been dishonest with ourselves, how we have deceived ourselves, how
we’ve abused and manipulated ourselves and others in the name of self-interest,
with justification, with fear, with spite, and without understanding or even
seeking to truly understand and see what role WE play within how it all
functions and plays-out and is experienced;
we connect
the pain to that which we fear losing, to that which we hold so dear (it can be
anything, an idea of freedom for instance or a mood that one obsess with, or a
memory or thoughts and internal conversations, a desire, a fear – anything) and
which constitutes the definition of our self-interest, of our perceived ‘ring
of power’, of our means to manipulation.
But for
this ‘ring of power’ to exist (regardless of where one is seeking for it:
relationships, feelings, energetic experiences, fears, desires, money, sex, –
anything) separation must exist. Protection mode must exist. Defense mechanisms
must exist. For consciousness to exist a self-definition must exist, a
relationship between self and the world, a definition of and a relationship to
“my life”, and from here: mental and emotional patterns emerge that make up
one’s experience in life. For consciousness to exist fear must exist. Energy
must exist.
Energy can
be imprinted with and thus programmed as anything, any possible frequency. So
to have the fear in place, add its opposite polarity as love or desire or hope
or faith, and there you have the human being trapped in polarities, feeding the
constructs with energy through reactions, thoughts, emotions, energetic
experiences / moods, justifications, inner conversations, etc. Desire and fear
of loss, these being the main two polarities/energies driving the human being.
No wonder
this world is the place it is. To have desire and fear of loss, another
polarity is required: superiority and inferiority, a judgment of ‘better’/’more
valuable’ and ‘worse’/’less valuable’. Having and Not-Having. Jealousy,
competition, intrigue, manipulation, all in the name of self-interest, aka
profit in the bigger scale.
Is this
really the nature of humanity, or is it the nature of a system, trapping
everyone and everything into its OWN survival (for which many lives are
sacrificed!), in its OWN interest, in its OWN name, in separation from all as
life.
It’s a
question like the one about the chicken and the egg. The best way to look it, I
suggest, is at the moment as a cycle: the system as we know it creates the
human being in the image and likeness of the system, the human beings in turn
(re-)creates the system in the image and likeness of the ACTUAL/LIVED
definition of humanity. It hasn’t always been humane, and despite all its
‘declarations’ and ‘rights’ that are thrown about and referred to and
‘protected’, it consists of nothing but ILLUSIONARY IDEAS which though have
detrimental consequences for our physical reality as a matter of fact. It is
through OUR own acceptance and allowance, through OUR submission, OUR
not-questioning, OUR inFEARiority, oh dear, that such illusion, such fraud,
such abuse monster as this world was made possible, was given form, and emerged:
a world
system, the externalization of the consciousness system that rules within, a
consciousness in fear and delusions of grandeur, an always-hungry monster in
self-indulgence with no regard, no consideration, and no care for life.
I am not
writing all this to spite humanity, or to blame the human beings or the system
or anything for that matter. I am not writing this to end up in bitterness and
regret, though I am certain many will experience a sort of bitterness and
regret. As many will experience an overwhelmed-ness, a powerlessness that may be
channeled/acted-out in hate speech or other forms of ego attacks.
Often we feel like “oooh but that’s
too much! I am just a human being”
Yes, it’s
too much damage and pain that we human beings have caused already, to our world, to ourselves
and each-other, and it’s time to change something. It’s too long that we didn’t
really care for anything else than literally SURVIVAL, the survival of the
ideas we hold of/about ourselves and others, about the world, about what
life/living is.
Consciousness
is a con awareness, its evolution and development being one of the most
unexpected and fascinating ‘play-outs’ in the history of existence.
The awareness
of life as life exists but like a minute flame, a spark, an insight in a moment
– which however we seldom truly investigate, explore, take directive on.
Our
‘awakening’ as humanity has thus far only existed as an idea, a projection, a
reality ‘somewhere out there’ (and each one in their mind in separation forms
one’s OWN picture/idea of it).
Consciousness,
as a system, exists through our physical body. Without the body, there exists
no personality, no awareness. Really? Oh there is awareness in the physical!
It’s just that, if we during our lives here in the physical identify ourselves
with the mind/consciousness only or to the most part, how do we expect to have
eternal life? How do we expect to be anything better in some ‘higher
dimensions’?
In other
words, consciousness uses/abuses the mind to manipulate our beingness into
existing within/as various ideas and personalities, from a starting-point and
thus also a self-definition of: EGO. Consciousness are all the thoughts and
imaginations based on FEAR. Fear is always self-interest protecting itself –
and it’s
not difficult to imagine how such existence would have no other way to exist
but within a bubble, a closed-system.
The human
being is – we human beings exist within and as – a closed system. Every
paranoia is self-created – and that’s easy to comprehend, but the real question
here is Why? Why do we within our minds create hell? Why do we create in fear?
Which not only occupies our minds but also affects and defines our physical
existence, our experience, our behavior.
“In the Beginning was the Word” – But where did the Word Emerge from?
I talked
about how mental and emotional patterns “emerge” within self, and how a monster
of a world system “emerged” as the externalization of the consciousness system
that rules within (a consciousness in fear and delusions of grandeur, an
always-hungry monster in self-indulgence with no regard, no consideration, and
no care for life) –
An
operative word here being the word EMERGE.
How are
such systems and patterns and value systems created within/as consciousness?
Why do reactions and reaction patterns seemingly emerge within us? Can it be
that we create them in unawareness? Can it be that the already existent systems
(world, money, parents, schools) manage to imprint us with the programs during
a time in which we are not yet quite able to communicate or comprehend words,
let alone have a ‘sense’ (as in: definition) of value?
(The sense
of value, by the way, is I would say quite existent within a baby, or an
animal, have a look at how it will unconditionally communicate and commune with
everything without judgement!)
Why do we
not question our thoughts? Where do they come from? Why do we not investigate
how our emotions and feelings are created – Why do we blindly follow a
preprogramming that we did not in awareness determine, let alone understand.
Why do we
not seek to understand ourselves beyond our self-image and how we ‘feel’ about
ourselves and our reality? Why is it seemingly so difficult to be truly
relaxed, at peace, here, breathing; with ourselves and another, to share
intimately, to really be here and see beyond the veils. Can we perhaps not
really see other human beings (or anything for that matter) because we do not
even see ourselves? Can we perhaps not truly be relaxed, at peace, here, in
intimacy, because we cannot decide to? Because nothing we do or say we really
decide in integrity so that we can eternally stand by our word? Can it be that
we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be manipulated by and subjected to
‘the word’, instead of BEING the living word in self-awareness, as
self-expression, in self-determination?
Where is
our own SELF-WILL?
Or is the
will of man driven by forces the human cannot comprehend! Is that why god and
the devil exists – for the human to abdicate responsibility and throw a tantrum
like a spoilt child?
Where would
FREE WILL exist if not in the opportunity to make a difference, to change the
pattern, to transform our nature and thus the nature of this world?!
And see, we
actually DO see ourselves. It’s just that we don’t wanna look. We see ourselves
in every here moment as we walk through our lives and participate in our
reality, but mostly we see of ourselves our mental reality, our thoughts, our
emotional and feeling experiences, our physical moods and energy relationships.
We think we are what we think we are. And somehow we fail to see who we are in
reality, who and how we are with others, who and how we are alone, what are the
motives behind our actions and words, what are we presenting, what are we
hiding, and why. What is the authority behind it all that is seemingly trying to
keep a system in place – where life/living has become merely ‘surviving’. Is it
you? Is it me?
No it’s
not.
And yet it
is. Because it is happening with our acceptance and allowance. It is given
permission through our ignorance and our resistance to the truth of ourselves
and our creation, because hey, then we would have to take self-responsibility
and face who we are and have become! We would also have to see the already
manifested consequence and realize OMG!
Self-honesty is painful. Re-Birth too. But does it have to be? Is there any sense in fearing death?
Self-honesty
is where you see the past and see the limitation, self-compromise and
self-abuse and self-deception within that; where you realize there is things
and ideas that you’ll have to let go of, if you wanna move forward, if you
wanna flourish, if you wanna be free and live for real;
That is the
moment where often ‘fear of loss’ will come up, as if in a way fear losing that
which we ‘know’ of ourselves, which is nothing else but the perceptual and
illusionary ‘safety’ of the boundaries we set or accept for ourselves.
So it’s
either we’re gonna fight for our limitation and give in to the fear and go into
protection- and defense mechanisms and make sure we remain within the patterns
that define us because then “we know who we are” (really?!) –
OR we’re
gonna realize and decide that we must breathe through the time of ‘withdrawal’,
we must push through the ‘fear’, we must contain the pain of birthing a new
creation, a new expression, a new self-alignment, a new starting-point.
Letting go
of the system within is in a way a death & re-birth process –
We were
birthed into this world and programmed in unawareness, in absence of
self-responsibility; now we are able to in awareness and responsibility
re-program and re-birth ourselves, as LIFE, in the name of life, equal to the
value of life – and no longer maintain the current fraud system of false
values.
And when we
realize it’s all been a lie, the question comes up – but who am I?
Let’s see: I
am the one who is able to slow down and start being here in real-time, with
every moment, breath by breath. I am the one who is able to, in the moment where
a reaction/energy is coming up, stabilize myself within myself, ground myself
as I am here, and decide who I am and how I will express in this moment. We
need no knowing, no guarantee, no safety net.
To ‘know’
is to repeat.
Despite all
our knowledge, history keeps repeating. Life keeps being subject to a system
where profit /self-interest is placed before life. Knowledge is useless,
because it is used less than what it takes to see the bigger picture and the responsibility
that would enable us to stop for a moment, re-evaluate, change, transform, make
a difference, re-form HUMANITY as ourselves and each-other to no longer
disgrace the word HUMANITY.
I commit
myself to assisting and supporting myself in embracing the unknown, and within
this in developing self-trust, realizing that within it all, I can be the
‘known’, the stability, as I AM HERE, thus I can be trustworthy, in
self-honesty. From here self-responsibility is seen, and it is seen as the
power and personal freedom that it is,
bursting the bubble of the system definition of ‘responsibility’ that creates
reaction and resistance, keeping the human limited, inFearior and
dependent/addicted.
How (we as)
consciousness used/abused energy to create addiction/obsession/possession so as
to hold onto the physical, to feed on it, to exist through it, without caring
for it or any other physical manifestation for that matter – this is a topic in
itself that requires to be laid out, and I may pursue publishing something on
this. It is in fact simplistic and I would like to see the mechanics explained
in a graphic illustration or a mapped-out word illustration.
So we are in
fact fighting for our limitations.
We identify
with consciousness and keep the definition of ‘human beings’ and ‘humanity’ as
bipolar, reactive organic robots, trapped in polarities of value, abusing
power, destroying life within self and each-other, manipulating for
self-interest, playing a game.
“Are you
real, character?”
So little
in this system is invested in cultivating real character, as who a human being
is, as a human being and as a living expression, as part of a whole.
So how do
we stop playing games? How do we REAL-eyes ourselves as life? How do we make
ourselves real beyond the holographic illusions and skewed value systems of the
accepted and conditioned consciousness?
We have to
literally breath by breath, moment by moment, walk ourselves out of the
consciousness system, out of the patterns of fear, and into a living awareness
as life – as a LIVING BEING in integrity, a LIVING BEING that is truly here, in
consideration of what is here as ourselves and each-other and this universe
that sustains us.
So – if we
can indeed have death (letting go of, forgiving the past/fear and the
polarities) and birth (self determination as to the self-expression /
self-movement to be self-willed and lived/shared in a moment) in every moment – then I guess that
answers the question whether LIFE is beyond life & death…
Have a look
at the cells in our body, there is death and birth in every moment. And yet, it
is simply substance returning to substance and reemerging as substance, equal
and one. Maintaining a consistency, a trustworthiness, a stability that is
no-where to be found in the mind /consciousness.
The cells
of our body are countless, yet all together realize equal value as life and
work-together as ONE, in integrity. There is no fear, no competition, no
holding onto. There is movement and flow, there is understanding and
cooperation, there is trust and certainty.
To create a
real character of/as ourselves will take time, courage, and dedication. It will
take a self-commitment that is no less than a commitment to life itself. To
create a real character in integrity, we must be willing to let go of the LIE, of
what we have accepted and allowed to become of li(f)e within and without; and
we must literally move ourselves out of our addiction to energy games, our of
our consciousness definitions of polarity, and into COMMON SENSE as life in awareness.
To walk
ourselves out of the consciousness system and into a living awareness as life –
will take re-birthing
ourselves in every moment.
Death and birth
in every moment; as we birth ourselves as LIFE from the physical, for real. And
it will be as within so without, and as above so below.
So we must
really make sure we ‘purify’ our minds/consciousness within and without, i.e.
take responsibility for what comes up within ourselves and what exists in our
world, realizing at the same time that the TRUTH of ourselves is seen HERE IN
THIS WORLD, in this PHYSICAL REALITY, with every word and deed, and also with
every inaction and words unspoken.
There is support in the process of self-honesty and self-awareness as life.
Check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.
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Check out the Living Income Guaranteed – with solutions that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.
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