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| ART by Anna Brix Thomsen |
This is continuing from the self-forgiveness and self-corrective realizations I shared in
Day 188: Be_Longing * The Trap of Infinity
Day 189: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct
Day 190: Be_Longing | THOUGHT Dimension of the Mind Construct #2
For further context see also
Day 184: Facing the Consequences of Following the Mind
Day 185: Value Issues & Consequences of Running on ENERGY
Day 186: Name the Game - Laying out the Mind CONstruct
Day 187: Be_Longing * The Absurdity of Longing to Belong
When and as I see myself going into thinking or believing that I am not receiving attention and that therefore this must mean that I am not good enough: I stop and I take a breath, and I remind myself that anything coming up in my mind where I see myself as ´victim´ of other people´s behaviour indicates abdication of my responsibility. Therefore I, in the moment, realign myself to self-responsibility and give myself attention, instead of giving attention to the mind and the conditioned patterns/thoughts/feelings/emotions it brings up.
I no longer accept or allow myself to see myself as ‘ alone’ and ‘lonely’ and ‘miserable’ and to go into a ‘negative’ self-experience, as I realize that this experience is not real, meaning, it does not pertain to the actuality of my reality – it is simply my emotional reaction to situations where I do not get what I expect.
Therefore, when and as I see myself going into an experience of ´being miserable´ where I see myself as ´worth pitying´ : I stop, I take a breath and bring myself out of the mind and back to reality, and I do not accept or allow myself to go into self-pity or self-victimization. Instead, I take back the power I abdicated to the mind and I approach the situation in practical common sense, taking responsibility for me and my experience of myself.
When and as I see myself blaming ´others´ for ‘making me feel’ ‘unloved’ or ‘unworthy’ – I stop, I breathe and I realize that within accepting and allowing blame, I make myself subject to that which/whom I blame.
Therefore I commit myself to stop all blame, and to continue assisting and supporting myself in accepting me here as worthy as life and developing self-trust within and as who I am, without requiring my ‘value’ to be defined or validated by ‘others’.
When and as I see myself going into thinking or believing that others don’t love me and that I cannot trust them, where I don’t ‘get the feeling’ that they care: I stop, and I breathe, and I remind myself that this ´feeling´ is a conditioned response that I made myself subject to and that is limiting me in my experience and my expression.
When and as I see myself looking at or focusing on what I am apparently ´not getting´: I stop, I take a breath, and I bring the point back to self to ask myself the question: What am I giving? What am I giving me, as life?
Through self-honest investigation of myself as a consciousness system, I see, realize and understand that thoughts that come-up automatically are always representing self-interest. It´s almost as if the thoughts that automatically come-up are the ´legal counsellors´ of the self-interest that exists within me as a result of the conditioned wants, needs, desires and fears that I have adopted / accepted / developed throughout a lifetime of becoming a personality in this system of polarity, of ´winning´ and ´losing´, of apparent ´superiority´ and ´inferiority´ -
a system where we place value on fake attributes that are merely concepts and ideas, instead of acknowledging and living the value of life, the only actual, real value, that all here share, as life.
When and as I see myself going into self-interest, in the mind, following IDEAS about what ‘love’ and ‘care’ should be: I stop myself, and I instead assist and support myself to practically care for myself as life, and thus from this starting-point also to care for my world as lfie, equally; Thus, I assist and support myself from the starting-point of who I really am as life to develop and establish self-care and self-love to begin with, because it is only from this starting-point of equality and oneness that I am able to see another being as an equal and discover what it means to care for another as self, as life.
When and I as I see myself placing trust into thoughts as what automatically comes up in the mind: I stop, I take a breath, and I direct my attention to me here breathing, as I realize that trust is something we must establish within and as ourselves, as who I really am, to then explore what trust really is and can be –
because obviously trust does not yet exist in this world, otherwise we could all be trusted with life and life would be something where no abuse, no deception, no manipulation, no exploitation would be accepted or allowed.
I see, realize and understand that thoughts are like pictures or symbols that come up in the mind automatically, where self and self´s world /"others" are presented in terms of comparison and competition, in terms of measuring and racing, in terms of ´winning´ and ´losing´. This is obviously an unacceptable way to exist, as this is exactly the perspective from which we manifest this human race, this world of survival, and the atrocity we call ´life´.
I see, realize and understand what the thoughts that come up in my mind, especially in the context of this relationship pattern I am deconstructing here, have been revealing to me: namely that I have defined myself and my experience of myself within and as a ‘feeling’, however this ‘feeling’ only exists within my mind, as I have ‘designed’ it – and thus nobody and nothing can ever in fact ‘fulfil’ or ´satisfy´ that ‘feeling’ because it is just that, a ‘feeling’, like a ghost I’ve been chasing to apparently feel complete and worthy and valuable, when all the while I haven’t been accepting myself as complete and worthy and valuable.
I see, realize and understand that by placing trust and belief in a ‘feeling’ (which is in fact the fabrication of a system / parenting / education / competition / world-system) I am making myself corruptible as I can then be manipulated with ‘feelings’, which is in fact what the consumerism system does to keep people enslaved: the system entices people with ‘good feelings’ and all products and services of the system are set to sell exactly that: a ‘good feeling’.
Therefore, when and as I see myself considering ´how I feel´ and ´how I should feel´ and how I desire to ´feel´: I stop, I breathe, and I remind myself that I am about to follow preprogrammed designs of my consciousness system based on the rules of the personalities that were born of this system. Therefore I realize that such ´feeling´ is not real but ony a conditioned response looking for its stimuli to activate it. Within this I see that following such mechanisms, self is able to be manipulated and corrupted - and obviously this is an unacceptable application / an unacceptable alignment from the perspective of life, as I´d be within that only limiting myself and others in my world.
Therefore I assist and support myself to stop following ´feelings´, wants, needs, fears, and desires - and instead I direct myself in self-honesty and practical common sense, making sure I support myself as life, in equality and oneness, and allow myself to explore and discover what it is to actually feel what is here.
Because if we would really feel what is here in fact, we´d be in great agony given the children that die every couple of seconds from preventable causes, the pain of our physical bodies due to the mental and emotional suppression and deception we allow within ourselves, the deterioration of our physical home planet which we deplete in the name of profit -
we don´t feel all that; it is but knowledge and information that we ARE aware of, yet choose to ignore and to rather delude ourselves with ideas of ´happiness´ and ´personal success´ in the mind, things that no one can take with when one breath is suddenly the last, yet we act as if such "values" were real.
I commit myself to exposing the LIE and DECEPTION of self-interest that manifests into and as this world a system of Profit, equal and one to self-interest as the system is created in the image and likeness of the human -
a system where life is exploited in the name of ´happiness´ and ´personal success´ while the majority of what is here is being abused and deceived, trough OUR acceptance and allowance, and for this we are all equally responsible by the very fact that we are here.
I commit myself to walking my process of ‘man know thyself’ to get to know myself and how I have come to be who I am and experience myself the way I do in all possible contexts of my life, so that within that I can assist and support myself to stand incorruptible, equal to life, accepting nothing less than life, from myself or anyone else.
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| ART by Andrew Gable |
