Day 186: Name the Game - Laying out the Mind CONstruct

Let's ReForm our Existence from Self-Interest and Separation to Oneness & Equality in the Interest of Life!
ART by Anna Brix Thomsen

Continuing from my last two Blog posts, I am here now beginning to deconstruct the pattern, to see the play-outs, recognize the consequences, take self-responsibility and walk the specific self-forgiveness points to get to practical self-corrective realization and commitments, within this assisting and supporting myself to stop following my conditioned mind/consciousness patterns and free myself from the chains of my own value-judgments, limiting definitions and polarity concepts.

I have given the pattern a name to begin with, though it is possible that the name will turn out different as I open up the layers/dimensions of the pattern and go into more specificity and more clarity. Also, further personality patterns may reveal through this, which I will then in turn give a name to, because within ‘naming the game’ an interesting perspective is being introduced, where one can see that within such patterns we are merely acting out conditioned personalities like character roles in a fantasy role play, which however have actual real consequences for self and others, and thus for life in fact.

Within ‘naming the game’ one is clear about the fact that one is dealing with a pattern – and that one can have a look at how one has allowed a pattern, a consciousness mechanism to take over / to overpower self; while through awareness, self-honesty, and practical common sense one is in fact able to deconstruct, see and understand the pattern, thus also able to change the pattern in a way that supports life, as all, as one, as equals.



And so I begin.
(Note: Here I will write an overview of the various dimensions of this pattern, and as I continue I may be adding points that are coming up / opening up as I move.)


NAME THE GAME:
‘Belonging’ – ‘feeling I don’t belong’ / ‘wanting to belong’


THOUGHT DIMENSION:
I am not receiving attention
I am not good enough / not interesting enough
I am left alone – feel lonely/left alone
They don’t love me
I can’t trust them
I am miserable / feeling sorry for self


IMAGINATION DIMENSION:
Being given attention
Being ‘appreciated’
Being loved / shown that I am loved
Being cared for / caressed
Being taken into consideration / being included / belonging


BACKCHAT DIMENSION:
They don’t care about me
I am only being used to satisfy THEIR needs / concepts / desires / dreams
They don’t really want me here
For them it’s not about me/who I am, it’s about what THEY want/need
Yes, look, they don’t so this & that… / they are/do… -- that means they don’t give a fuck
Again I am waiting for them
I always have to wait
I hate waiting for them
I hate needing them
Why do I care, if they don’t
I feel used / abused
I feel trapped
I need to run away, far away
They hurt me
Fuck them ‘cause they don’t care
If they make me feel like I’m worth nothing – then they are worth nothing


REACTIONS DIMENSION:
Impatience
Depression – self-victimization
Feeling restricted /done wrong unto
Anger – Rage
Spite – Grudge


PHYSICAL SYSTEMS / BEHAVIOR DIMENSION:
Blaming verbally
Attacking / being angry / over-reacting
Leaving the room / ‘leaving them’
Excluding others who don’t fit my agenda
Jealousy



CONSEQUENCES:

From 'feeling abused' -> abusing others
- Hurting others / Not seeing others for who they are

Isolation / Self-suppression

Energy trap
- Given attention == positive == “self-worth” / ‘feeling worthy’ / feeling ‘valued’
- Not being given attention == negative == depression / ‘feeling unworthy’ / feeling ‘degraded’

Existing in comparison towards others and towards ideas of/about myself / Measuring ‘value’

Making self-worth and self-definition dependent on and subject to ‘others’

Getting ‘negative’ attention due to over-reactive behaviour

Existing within misery, self-regret, self-loathing



In the end, the Cycle closes at the beginning:
with the self-definition of/as “I am not worthy” –
accepted and allowed – and thus created – equal and one.

“When you know the beginning, you know the end.”

“Effect is always equal to cause.”

Who we are creates this world.

What has a beginning, has an end.

Death is the end of personalities and of everything that is fake = that is not of life.

The end of man/mankind would be the end of this world/system – it would not be the end of life.

To be continued.


For context to this Blog post see my writings from
Day 184: Facing the Consequences of Following the Mind and
Day 185: Value Issues & Consequences of Running on ENERGY




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