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| ART by MatterFreeMan |
Continuing from my previous post "If this, then that..."
… So the problem I see is how parents rather attempt
to control their children, control their reality through manipulation, instead
of creating real empowerment and treating children as equals through direct
communication and practical common sense considerations – where actual LEARNING
can take place.
Parents hardly take the time to share with their
children what they themselves may be experiencing, problems they are facing and
solutions they are considering – or what they have learned out of past challenges
and how they have overcome them, what they LEARNED and how they LEARNED.
So how much are we really learning?
Are we willing to learn from our children for
instance?
So at the core of the problem - we find ourselves. I
mean, even as parents (or "grown-ups") we hardly ever take that
self-honest road of introspecting our own minds, our own reactions, our own
problems - I mean, if we would truly do this, we would be much more likely to keep
learning, to always find solutions and with such a starting-point we’d be more likely
and able to implement those solutions/corrections and live them into reality.
Without the fear of making a mistake.
Let’s repeat this last one: Without the fear of making mistakes.
And now let’s look further into this point of CONTROL
that we began with.
Acting-out ‘control’ as most parents TRY to do, what
are we essentially saying: the way you do it is a mistake, is wrong – or: what
you do is a mistake, is wrong. This, especially to a child, easily translates
into: you are wrong – you are a mistake.
How many of us are familiar with the fear of making a
mistake – or the fear of others noticing a mistake we made – or with the
tendency to not approach things when we are likely to make a mistake… Does this
begin to reveal how our idea of ‘control’ is just a fallacy?
Obviously there’s nothing wrong in pointing out
mistakes, lol, but in that case you’d better be able to show why and how a
mistake is a mis-take. Show the consequence, show the outflow, show the outcome
that one (or other people) may be experiencing as a result. Here the child has
the opportunity to do something differently, not because YOU know better, but
because they THEMSELVES want to do better – as they see HOW and WHY it can be
done better, with better outflows, and good i.e. constructive consequences for
everyone involved.
I mean, we can see in the big and the small how
‘control’ is obviously an illusion – it is a con and a troll – and it
backfires.
...To be continued!
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