Donnerstag, 12. November 2015

569 | Overprotectiveness & Self Responsibility

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to access overprotectiveness – where I’m being overprotective toward someone/something for fear of them being in some way harmed or going down a path that I see will not be beneficial for them;
where what I can see is that, in accessing the experience and mind-state of overprotectiveness, I place both myself and whatever it is I am trying to (over)protect into an inferior position and going into negativity.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this overprotectiveness indicates certain expectations and standards I hold, and therefore in fact I am not only trying to (over)protect a point outside myself (person/group/project) but also an inner alignment that I had accepted to exist as my relationship to it, where I had attached a certain value to a person/group/project instead of simply living that value for and as myself.

Now this is quite interesting to observe within the parent–child relationship where the parent becomes overprotective of the child, to a bigger or lesser extent.
Where such pattern is manifested physically i.e. where it is obvious that the parent is overprotective of the child, one will also observe how the parent also manifests a form of ‘living through the child’, through its experiences and achievements, its progress and development, and so on. Often the parent will try and give the child everything and push them to be successful, not seldom the parent even –consciously or unconsciously– will attempt to lead the child to do, be and become what the parent had wanted to do, be and become as a means of fulfilling their own (the parent’s) dreams. The child then tries to live up to the expectations of the parent – however an interesting outflow of this all is the following: 

While the parent is overprotective there exists a subtle acceptance of deferring self-responsibility, as that responsibility is being projected unto the child. At the same time the child will not learn the true practical nature of self responsibility as they are busy living up to concrete or perceived expectations.

These points are very interesting, and this insight helped me realize that by accessing overprotectiveness I am also looking at a point where I had deferred self responsibility;
where I had projected trust, value, purpose, and path into that which I become overprotective about, which indicates that I had not yet accepted and embraced  trust value, purpose, and path within myself and as myself: self realized, self determined, self willed.

Which indicates for me that, when it comes to self definitions and purpose, I had accepted and allowed myself to be defined by an external point (a person/a group/a project), projecting my trust, my value, my purpose, my path into that point and then attempting to live trust, value, purpose and path by ‘following’ that point.

So what I also found interesting is that, while I did project the point onto something/someone outside myself; for that to happen in the first place indicates that a certain resonance is met. Meaning, that point represents a point or quality or principle already existent within me.
The important matter I see for myself here is that of self honesty. Because why then separate myself from any quality or principle or value and attach that to something/someone else? Why not remain focused on and with myself, making sure ‘what I follow’ is always in alignment with ME.

We meet new people, new groups, new projects all the time. Our paths cross as we attract to each other based on resonant patterns, a likeness of mind, out of which we have the opportunity to work together and also to learn something more about ourselves.

I will take it from here in my next post.

Thanks for reading 

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