Continuing from
(please read for context)
…So after that sleepless night I got ready for work early in the morning
and went to take the train to my working place, when I started feeling quite
weak. There was also a strike going on and because some of the public
transportation was taking part in the strike, the remaining ones were so full
that not everyone could take the next bus or tram but had to wait for the next
or the next or the next…
Realizing how exhausted I had made myself, especially due to
participating in an emotional reaction in my mind –which obviously had
consequences for my physical body’s condition– I decided to cash in the
consequence and go back home, rest or maybe try and get some sleep after all.
I couldn’t get any sleep, but after resting a bit, I looked again at
what had taken place since last night – and I saw how I had in fact in one
single moment made the decision to follow the thoughts that were coming up –
I WANTED to think, I WANTED to 'sort this out NOW' – I wanted to keep on
thinking about it until it would be clear … though really, most of us do have
the knowledge, through experience, about how things only get worse/more
confusing when we only ‘think about’ them on our mind, instead of for instance
either writing it out and giving it direction toward a solution OR talking
about it with another person also from the starting point of understanding the
problem to see the solution.
It was also in one single moment that I had made the decision in my mind
that: I won't be able to sleep. I can't sleep. I must sort this out now. I
continued thinking myself to exhaustion, and did not get anywhere – obviously.
Have you ever noticed how our thinking tends to move in cycles? We
recycle the same thoughts over and over again – but real solutions do not come
out of such thinking processes.
So here I was, sitting on my couch the morning after this sleepless
night, realizing it was all indeed a moment's decision, in unawareness...
For a moment now, upon seeing this, I was like…Shit, I ruined my night, I
ruined my day - there is so much work waiting for me at work, and I've fucked
it up.
But I truly wanted to get things done. I had made the decision for
myself that I’d like to finish all my projects at work before I start my
holidays. I started checking my workplace emails and the work load was getting
bigger and bigger, and I saw myself getting more and more stressed.
I really wanted my projects directive to be successful and I wanted to
get the job well done, and so upon realizing that I was going into stress about
it, I was like…OK, let me NOT go into this stress, let me see how to make the
best out of this situation.
And in one moment, as I was looking into finding the best way to move
forward with this, I "had an idea" = I saw the solution and I made
the decision:
I will take this ONE point (the projects requiring my direction at my
Job) and I will dedicate my day to this ONE point and I will make out of it a
practice point –
I saw it as a great opportunity to practice 'project management',
because here I was required to manage several projects at the same time.
So I decided that I am able to prepare the steps, take the time to prepare
the timeline of what needs to be done for each project, see what I can already do/manage
now, from home, and so prepare the way for the next day where I can go to work
and get everything done, being clear about the steps that I need to take to
complete each project.
Here, in ONE moment, with ONE single decision, ONE simple shift within
myself – I turned from disempowerment where I felt overwhelmed and stressed with
the volume of work to be done, to SELF-EMPOWERMENT where I decided to turn this
into a fun practice that will benefit all and will support me in making the
best out of the moment and in fact the best out of this day.
And so I turned the stress and anxiety into a cool practice point for
myself in that moment, and it was amazing how my entire ‘mood’ and
self-experience changed in ONE go. I indeed had a good time preparing
everything as I had decided that I would, and next day I went to work with one
A4 paper for each project, all steps written out, I could follow through and
manage everything within exactly the time I had available.
I am sharing all this to show how we indeed have the CHOICE – one choice
in every moment: to either go into disempowerment – where we make something or
someone or a situation ‘more than’ self here; or self-empowerment – where we
take self-responsibility and pull off the directive to make the BEST out of a
moment, giving the BEST of ourselves.
To do this, we must practice stopping the mind, meaning: stopping the
automated thought- and experience-patterns; and instead taking directive and
truly making the BEST choices at any given moment. To do that, we need to
practice REAL-TIME self awareness and take responsibility for our creations.
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