547 | F.E.A.R. – Fail Early And Responsibly - Part 2

Continuing from part 1:

Whatever the output from that question, what you’ll find that it’s just an emotional-reaction made-real into and as the living flesh, through acceptance and allowance, throughout time. It’s just a mind set lived into beingness. Yes, it takes a process to release it, you’ll have to forgive yourself, but the point is simplistic. The solution is that change/becoming comes from being – and therefore it is who and how I will BE in moments that will form and determine what will accumulate, what will flow out, what will be created. We create all the time. We either create in awareness, or we create through what we accept and allow. We either create as who we are as life, or we create as who we are as systems, based on fear/inferiority, or delusions of grandeur. Fascinating the power of emotions and feelings – because we give it to them.

A cool practical perspective that came through in a recent discussion and that is relevant here:

<<in relation to the deep emotional experiences - been there myself in the past, you have to PRACTICE the stability and the movement until it becomes you, the energy [experience] is going to keep on coming because that's been your instruction to the energy your whole life, so now you gotta practice in this new instruction of stability and movement - let that be your goal, when the energy overtakes, remember the goal of stability and start pushing yourself quicker out of the emotional possessions>>

I often had to remind myself that it's my mind making an elephant out of an ant, and so my job is to identify the ant and give it direction as myself.

Sometimes it was really like schizophrenia lol meaning that I sometimes had to wonder: how come I can be confident sometimes and not confident other times? And what I’d find was a moment of reaction or of a thought, which was ‘accepted’ and taken out of proportion and used/abused in the mind through my allowance to 'validate' self-definitions of failure or inferiority or ‘not good enough’ etc. Or I’d find a point of comparison where I was basically comparing apples and pears. I’d definitely find self-judgment.

So it’s in those/such moments (when I make a problem a problem by going into a reaction about it, instead of seeing direct and finding the solution/direction) where I see this preprogramming kicking in - and then I know okay it’s just my design, it’s my preprogramming trying to ‘follow its course’, but it is not what I want for me, for my life, and so I can handle accordingly. I had to (and still do) teach myself to ‘handle accordingly’ in moments, and it mostly entails slowing down, grounding myself and willing myself to see things for what they are, re-minding myself of my process and my self-commitment. Within this, I can embrace myself and take full responsibility for me – because it’s then simply about: what have I developed and can trust myself with, and what have I not yet developed; who/what I have created myself to be/live and what I have not yet created myself to be/live.

In my preprogrammed design I had conditioned myself into self judgment and self punishment, ending up in abyss-like states where I’d feel like the world was ending and like I was completely powerless and hopeless, a complete failure. High idealism and expectations obviously did not help on the way.

Again and again I found what was said many times in process - it's the SMALL moments that matter lol indeed the big moments are but the accumulation of smaller moments over time; and so I’m focusing on the ‘small’, on who I am in moments and how I relate and handle myself and my own mind.

And the ants no longer become elephants, or at least the elephant-bubble is more easily burst.

Clarity, consistency, perseverance – where there is a will there is a way. And so we walk.

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546 | F.E.A.R. – Fail Early And Responsibly

Recently I’ve come to look at the point of ‘failure’ again, realizing that it’s been quite an ingrained system of self-experience that I had embodied early in life, without real awareness about what it was that I was accepting and allowing.

What I discovered, is that based on ‘past failures’ we tend to project similar scenarios into the future, more often than not ending up manifesting the very things we wanted to avoid – a self fulfilling prophecy that is.

It only takes a simple shift within self in order to change this point from something that ‘haunts’ you to something you can learn from and utilize to grow and flourish.

The shift from accepting ‘failure’ and allowing it to define you, to truly investigating what it is you had defined as ‘failure’ and why, based on what? The shift from self-judgment and emotional-reaction (e.g. “omg I’m such a failure” or “I’m never going to make it” or “this just won’t work” or “I don’t think I’m good enough” or “I’m not good at…”) to the simple question: What is it that I hadn’t yet developed that I can still explore/discover/apply? And how did I create the ‘failure’ experience?

Whatever the output from that question, what you’ll find that it’s just an emotional-reaction made-real into and as the living flesh, through acceptance and allowance, throughout time. It’s just a mind set lived into beingness. Yes, it takes a process to release it, you’ll have to forgive yourself, but the point is simplistic. The solution is that change/becoming comes from being – and therefore it is who and how I will BE in moments that will form and determine what will accumulate, what will flow out, what will be created. We create all the time. We either create in awareness, or we create through what we accept and allow. We either create as who we are as life, or we create as who we are as systems, based on fear/inferiority, or delusions of grandeur. Fascinating the power of emotions and feelings – because we give it to them. And have a look how the system is set to entice people through energy, through sensationalism, through emotions/feelings, through fear. You don’t know what you want. You don’t know everything you can be. The system/mind tells you who you are and what you can do and be. Through your own acceptances and allowances.

Most people (except from those born into positions of power and control) are born into survival; most people’s preprogramming throughout generations has been to fail or struggle to ‘make it’ or to be outcast or misfits… We are born into a world system and as children we are dependent on accepting everything ‘as is’. And our world systems are such that each one is driven to the utmost inner hardship (whatever that may be subjectively for each one) with one purpose only: to make people submit to the systems, submerge themselves to survival mode, and give up on living life’s potential, give up on making more out of themselves in exploring their utmost potential in life and thus the potential of this one world that we have in common, this reality we all share.

...to be continued

For support in your process of self-empowerment as life:

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Activists!

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Day 528 | Walking Self Forgiveness for Fearing I’m not Good Enough

Continuing from my previous post

Walking Self Forgiveness for Seeing Self through the Eyes of Others

<<...‘Seeing self through the eyes of others’ and the ‘fear of not being good enough’ are highly related to the experience/feeling of Insecurity that every one knows/has experienced. What is interesting, is how our Insecurity is connected to our perceptions of ‘Authority’, which can be seen in my above examples where self looks at self through the eyes of others, within this giving “the others” authority to determine and define self.>>

Now – From my previous bog post we can pinpoint some main fears: the fear of what other people will think of self and how other people will see self and how other people will value or judge self.

That’s where also for instance the fear of making mistakes, the fear of losing, the fear of ridicule comes from – “because how will that look in the eyes of people” and “what will that say about me”. 

So – is it really fear of ‘not being good enough’, or is it fear of not being seen as good enough by other people? Because within self, one may very well Know one is ‘good’ and capable, and that which is not good: one can change. So what purpose does the fear serve really?

The ‘fear of not being good enough’ one can approach simplistically by supporting oneself in becoming as good as one would like to be, in developing one’s skills and talents, one’s relationships in the world, making one’s life/living most effective, living to one’s full potential. We don’t do that.

Instead we look at others and think/believe we see in others this or that and we feel like this or like that – using others to ‘define’ ourselves, using others to for instance seek/get a feeling of acceptance or of appreciation or of respect, while we did not consider to first give it to ourselves, live it, find out what it is, before we even consider expecting it from others.

Within this, we create the fear of being seen as ‘not good enough’ – culture (and esp. the ‘consumer culture’ of/as the world system) plays a major role here too – and we make ourselves and our own value and worth subject to ideas in our mind /to “others” to define, to determine, to direct.

So the challenge here is for self to accept the responsibility of being ‘the one’ who determines Who I Am and determines the worth and value of oneself /one’s life = through one’s inner awareness alignment AND through one’s outer participation, behavior, and relationships in one’s world.

I mean we always define/determine who we are – whether that ‘happens’ through our acceptance and allowance or whether it is self defined/created in awareness.

The latter is obviously preferable, and is what I’m talking about when it comes to things like self-realization, awakening, etc.

So, the fear of other people seeing self as ‘not good enough’ can be directed by simply taking self-responsibility and no-longer accepting or allowing self to define self in/as reaction to “other people”; as well as by self-honestly living up to one’s responsibilities and being in fact ‘good enough’ as in doing what needs to be done, taking a stance to the best of one’s knowledge, understanding, and ability in that moment.

See – sometimes we even tend to go into an entire obsession/possession in our minds with fear, in fear making ourselves in-fearior, through submitting to the energetic experience of fear, contracting even more, participating in thoughts and internal conversations in, so much so that the ‘fearful character’ becomes alive so to speak. Then literally one’s fear as energy is becoming-alive – the Fearful Character – and then in that moment (while self is taking a back seat and allowing fear to ‘take over’) fear is ‘the one’ that acts out, that directs, behaves, makes decisions, because – “I, ‘fear’, must survive, I must be right, look how small I am, and what if I lose, what if I am not appreciated, oh no, I need more control, let me think, I need more energy, let me think, yes I must control it, but oh I’m so small, I must protect myself, I must keep myself alive blablabla” (says the Fearful Character) – and then there’s all the physical tension experiences and all the thoughts and beliefs that in one’s mind will ‘explain it all’ and ‘justify’ the fear to exist, so the self as ‘character’ can continue holding-onto and existing-as all those self-limiting ideas and perceptions of/about self. Fascinating.

So then obviously one requires to look also at self-beliefs of not being ‘good enough’ – this comes with the realization that all judgments I project and expect/fear as coming from “others”, I am actually already holding within myself/my mind – and to look at where and how and not least WHY am I holding such beliefs and ideas ‘alive’ and within that keep myself limited?

All those ‘fears’ around not being ‘good enough’ are interconnected, all have to do with ideas/beliefs of ‘value’ in polarity – seeking for ‘more value’/’superior value’ and fear of having one’s value ‘devalued’/’degraded’ as in ‘inferior’.

But where is the value of life as life?

I commit myself to stop devaluing and degrading myself – to identify where/when/how I devalue/degrade myself in my mind and also in my everyday living/participation, and to in those moments practice Stopping this self-sabotage and moving my awareness from self-diminishment /self-limitation – to the physical me here in awareness and self-support / constructive-living;

and practically within this I Live self-worth as life, self-respect, self-honesty, where the value is placed in life and living.

And when I support myself to live my full potential, more and more releasing and letting go of the limitations, and to live harmoniously and constructively with my environment and relationships, I can then say that I am ‘good enough’ as a human being in evolution, individual and collective.

In terms of re-defining words, I see here an interesting ‘exercise’/‘exorcise’ that can be ‘enacted’, lol, as follows:

Good

[charged with ‘positive energy’ eg. patterns of seeking ‘acceptance’ / ‘validation’ / ‘appreciation’ etc.]

Enough

[stop – can’t take any more – the cup is full]

>> Here I can then see that it is possible and perhaps wise to completely let go of and exorcise lol as in release ourselves from the idea/definition/term ‘good enough’!

For within this very expression a limitation is entailed: nothing more is expected, which excludes the possibility of anything more/new being possible – even though the possibility may in fact exist and something more may be possible. Get my drift? How would progress and evolution look like if it were just ‘good enough’ and not extraordinarily magnificent, perfection to the detail?

Well, human consciousness appears to be in the process of becoming an evolution in awareness, so let’s do our best, within and without, individually and collectively.

In this context:

An excellent audio recording as support in understanding Insecurity

For support in Un_plugging check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE online course that will assist humanity to change the human condition and end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness. 

You may be interested in the daily process blogs that people from around the world share, check it out:

Destonians - The Earthlings

Join us in the Journey to Life !


*To participate & share perspectives visit the Forum

*For support in self empowerment visit desteniIprocess

*Visit @eqafe for educational downloadables, life-changing perspectives, music & much more...
...as well as loads of free stuff that you'll definitely enjoy : )

 

Activists!

Make sure to check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal @ the Equal Life Foundation – a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.