An Earthling's Journey to Life: Envy

Freitag, 19. April 2013

354 | The Nastiness of the Misfit

Continuing from
Day 352 | My Life Journey from Misfit to Earthling
Day 351 | “My Life” - The Ignorance of the Misfit
Day 350 | Beliefs & Self-Definitions in relation to „My Life“
Day 349 | Self Commitment - Responsibility for „My Life“ & Responsibility for Life as a Whole
Day 348 | Self Commitment - "My Life"
Day 347 | Self Commitment & Desteni I Process

Here is a point I looked into, especially out of the experience and observation of the tendency to envy other people’s lives in comparison to one’s own life. Where one has the impression that others always have more, are more, get more etc. and one gets oneself into a self-pitying state of mind where the ego goes “but what about ME?”, and there you have it: nastiness is born.

As I have explained in previous blog posts, there is an interesting polarity manifest in the construct of ‘the misfit’:
Defining oneself as a misfit and sticking to it, is actually an act of ignorance – merely yet another self-image that may even make one ‘feel better’ about oneself because one is then somehow ‘different’. This would be an example of arrogance, based in a perceived ‘superiority’, which mostly tends to be the case if one’s mind has the tendency to cling to ‘positivity’.
There exists the opposite polarity as well, especially in the case where one’s mind has the tendency to cling to ‘negativity’. Here one tends to go into self-victimization. One will then blame the system, blame society, blame everyone else, and will feel sorry for oneself and wallow in self-pity because one tends to see oneself as a victim.
A consequence/outflow of the misfit construct can be seen for instance in the formation of groupings of all kinds, within which the separation of self from society/the world as a whole is accentuated. This either results into the isolation of the grouping, or into rebellion and revolt, always based on an approach of ‘us’ vs. ‘them’.

Obviously, the world as it is – the system as it is and therefore also society currently – is one factor/reason why the point of ‘fitting in’ or ‘not fitting in’ exists in the first place. Because have a look, if we had a world /a system /a society that took care of all its citizens and supported all life equally – there would be no misfits. This is why I stand for an equal money system, because I see the necessity to restore the value of LIFE in this world.

The nastiness of the misfit is seen not only in for instance hidden envy or hidden blame, but also in a spiteful attitude towards the world in general. It’s like, “I don’t fit into this world, so fuck the system” – which is an attitude not few people adopt without ever questioning and examining how the system is manifested in the first place and what makes up the system, which is in fact US, the people.

From this realization in self-honesty, one should be able to in a moment realize the self-deception and limitation that goes with a self-definition like this.

Though – granted – this is not an easy task.

As I have written in previous posts, the most prominent experience I have had throughout my life was that of ‘not fitting in’ – which is also why I initially named this Blog “A Misfit’s Journey to Life”.
Throughout my experience and self-definition as a ‘misfit’, I for a long time considered myself ‘superior’ to the people that were able to easily integrate themselves within the system, I considered those people to be merely sheep while I considered myself to be ‘something better’. It is easy to see the arrogance and nastiness within this, especially since there is no questioning about what it is the shapes the human, what it is that forms what we call ‘human nature’.
I then, with time and the support of the Desteni process tools, realized that there had in fact existed a suppressed feeling of ‘inferiority’ within me, because actually there was a time where I did want and wish to be ‘normal’, to be just like everyone else, to ‘fit in’, to not have to feel ‘different’ or the ‘odd one out’.

In an attempt to compensate for such ‘inferior’ experiences – instead of examining the experience of ‘inferiority’ in self-honesty – I had attempted to make myself ‘more’, and so I suppressed and denied that experience within myself, and created all kinds of beliefs about people, society, the world, and myself, making myself feel ‘superior’ in my mind and finding ways to exist that made me ‘feel better’ about myself. One such ‘way’ was the spiritual path.
(If you want to read more about how I dealt with spirituality, do a search on my Blog.)

Also, do have a look at Matti Freeman’s latest posts on
Sales, Spirituality and Self-Interest
Sales, Spirituality and Self-Interest – What are you being Sold?
where the nastiness of the misfit (many of whom tend to get absorbed into ‘spirituality’ and ‘positivity’ which is nothing else but the ‘new age consumerism’: I call it light for profit, and obviously it is the light that blinds you from seeing reality for what it is.

If you are able to see the necessity for asking the ‘difficult questions’ and getting to self-honesty about the Self and the World, I’d suggest to explore the Desteni websites, forums and material and do your research, because in this world: nothing is really what it seems to be.
It’s worth examining what it is we are buying into, both within and without.

ART by Kelly Posey

Check out the Equal Money System –
a solution that can be established in this lifetime to end the disaster of a profit driven system.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite –
a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness.

Relevant Blogs to follow:

Equal Money Movement
Equal Money Capitalism - Economist's Journey to Life

Criminology and What we can Learn from Crime to establish a Society that's Pro-Life

Common Sense considerations on the Background of Mankind's History

Psychology and How it can be used to actually Support the Human Being

MUST-READ on Life and Creation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/

http://desteniIprocess.com

Join us in the Journey to Life !

Downloadables @ eqafe for FREE:
* Quantum Mind Self Awareness - Step 1 and Step 2 <<< MP3 Downloads
* LifeReview - My Life as a Peace Activist <<< MP3 Download
* The Spirituality of the Snail <<< MP3 Download
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://EarthGlobalReview.wordpress.com

Samstag, 14. April 2012

Day 1: Waking Up from the Depression

Waking up and the sun shines. An awkward feeling comes over me, as if I’m comparing myself to the sun. Imagining how people wake up to the sun and feel happy and motivated, while I compare my own state of being with that imagination in my mind.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to feel down and depressed out of an idea of ‘high’ and ‘happy’ that I compare myself to.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think and believe that when the sun shines I should ‘normally’ be all ‘happy’ and ‘high’.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my life is a failure, a fuck-up, and to wake up in the morning with a feeling of anxiety towards living.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to approach life/living from a starting-point of anxiety, which – as I see now – is rooted in ideas of ‘success’ and ‘failure’, wherein I judge myself as ‘failure’ and think that I should be more ‘successful’.
Whereby I have defined ‘success’ and ‘failure’ in relation to how I perceive myself and how I think and believe others perceive me – which also reveals a point of comparison and thus competition.
Wherein in fact I am competing with ideas of myself in the mind, ideas of life, ideas of success and failure – instead of simply realizing that I am walking the manifested consequences of myself, of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become and define myself as.

Manifested consequences are just that, they need not be seen as ‘bad’ or ‘good’. The mere realization that how I have existed has not actually been really supporting me as life = in expanding myself, expressing myself, breaking through any limitations and perceptions of polarity, is opening up the opportunity to simply take this realization and start the actual process of self-forgiveness: of letting go of all judgment, polarity and mental concepts of ‘success’ and ‘failure’, and simply start living the purification of myself as I change my participation into practical-living that is best for life.

Looking at the manifested consequences of myself, looking at my life and how I experience myself in general, what I see is a point of isolation, a point of withdrawal. I look at the point of people and relationships throughout my life and I see that I never really cared for creating relationships, never really approached people from the perspective of ‘getting together’ or forming something that is truly actually supportive as best for all. When I saw that, I first started judging myself and going into guilt, and then I realized that this also is not a solution. I must forgive myself this pattern of isolation and separation and start seeing people as part of me, part of this world I am equal to, part of the same system I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and manifest as the very reality we all share day in and day out.

What I am realizing is that this depression upon waking up is a reaction towards facing the manifested consequences of myself – whereby the solution is simply to realize that there is no way out of this, there is no escaping from self, and that even within the process of self-forgiveness and changing/transforming the accepted patterns and behaviours that led to the current creation I am facing: there will be a time where I have to walk through the consequences that are the outflow of my life thus far, the outflow of all the acceptances and allowances that I accumulated breath by breath.

And breath by breath I will walk through the consequences and I am able to utilize the realization of such consequences to understand what I have created, how I have created it (through what acceptances, what behaviourisms, what ideas and assumptions) and thus how I am able to stop all that which is not supporting life, to stop all that which is an expression of fear, of judgment, of separation, of ego.

So, breath by breath, I walk, I forgive, I realize that what I am facing in the present is the past. And that to change the future I have to forgive the past in the present, let go of the past in every present moment, and live a new-expression, a purification of the past in every here-moment, as I am here, and therefore I am the determining factor of my reality, within and without.

So – depression can be utilized as a flag-point to stop. To stop suppressing ourselves and succumbing to emotional moods that are the result of the backchat in our secret mind – and to start de-pressing the layers of consciousness under which we hide. To finally start opening up, start seeing the truth of ourselves, start forgiving the abuse and self-sabotage we’ve been existing as; and start expanding into and as LIFE – practical living best for all.

When and as I see myself going into depression, I stop, I breathe, and I remind myself that this depression is but a reaction to the present that is of the past, a reaction to the consequences of myself, a reaction based in judgment, polarity, fear and self-sabotage – and therefore I stop the reaction, I stop self-judgment, I breathe, I stand up and I start walking, breath by breath, in self-forgiveness, until it’s done and neither ‘high’ nor ‘low’ remains; until only I remain, pure, present, blank, ready to take on this whole existence that is myself and live it into a new creation that is best for life in all possible ways.