...So – when I looked at this ‘feeling’ which became a belief (“I am not loved”) that I was holding onto for most of my teenage years and young adulthood, I realized that I had made some ‘interesting’ conclusions from that one single belief, conclusions that would affect my entire life and the way I feel about myself. For example:
I am not loved therefore I am not worthy of love.
I am not loved therefore I am unworthy.
I am not loved therefore I cannot love myself.
I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to love myself.
I am not loved therefore I am not happy.
I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to be happy.
I cannot be happy unless someone/another loves me.
From:
Day 381. Redefining ME | Debunking Self Religion - I Am what I beLIEve? (part2)
In the context of:
Day 380 | Redefining ME | Debunking Self Religion - I Am what I beLIEve?
Day 378 | Redefining ME | What is Perfection? 'Success' vs. 'Failure'?
Day 376 | Redefining ME | From Alone to AllOne
Day 375 | Redefining ME | Self Commitment - to LIVE
Day 374 | Redefining ME | Self Religion continued: Living vs. Doing
Day 373 | Redefining ME | Self Religion continued: Feeling Good vs. Feeling Bad
Day 371 | Redefining ME – Debunking Self Religion
Day 363 | Love in My Life
Day 362 | Are we just Earthlings ???
Day 361 | An Earthling’s Journey to Life
Day 360 | My Life is Me - Equal Life Foundation
Day 359 | My Life is Me
Day 358 | Who is the Self within Self-Interest
Day 357 | Is Consciousness All I Can Be?
Day 356 | Self Commitment - Stopping the Negativity in My Life
Day 355 | Misfit > Transfit > Earthling > LIFE : A New Destiny is Possible
Day 354 | The Nastiness of the Misfit
Day 352 | My Life Journey from Misfit to Earthling
Day 351 | “My Life” - The Ignorance of the Misfit
Day 350 | Beliefs & Self-Definitions in relation to „My Life“
Day 349 | Self Commitment - Responsibility for „My Life“ & Responsibility for Life as a Whole
Day 348 | Self Commitment - "My Life"
Day 347 | Self Commitment & Desteni I Process
“I am not loved therefore I am not worthy of love.”
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am not loved, based on experiences and judgments in my childhood wherein I compared myself to other children, other families and what I saw on TV.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to hold within myself a definition of me as “I am not loved” and to place my belief and my faith in that/such definition, concluding that I must not be worthy of love, otherwise I would be loved.
Within this I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to have created ideas and imaginations and pictures in my mind about what it means to be loved, based on images and idea(l)s propagated on TV and/or based on what I observed with other children and other families wherein I have judged what I saw as better/more than what I have/experience, without considering that I am not seeing the whole picture of a child/family but only what is being presented to the world as an image of a happy loving family.
“I am not loved therefore I am unworthy.”
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that if/when I am not loved based on what I have defined as “being loved” according to how “love” is being presented through media and the systems of this world including parenting, education/school etc. – then I must be unworthy.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed a definition of myself as “unworthy” based on a feeling/emotion without ever questioning where such feeling/emotion came from.
I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to investigate the thoughts/judgments/beliefs that led to the creation of such feeling/emotion.
I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to consider that holding such belief within myself about myself is equal to holding a judgment within myself about myself.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as unworthy, no realizing that such judgment comes from comparison and comparison is always based on the norms and ideas that the system indoctrinates which have nothing to do with the value of life as such.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to value myself as life and to accept self-worth as me here, as I am here breathing in every moment, therefore if I do not value myself as life how can I be worthy of life?
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to –from this/such self-definition as unworthy- make a quest out of my life for value/worth wherein I´d seek for others o value me and show me that I am worthy, while I myself was not valuing myself or accepting self-worth within and as myself unconditionally.
“I am not loved therefore I cannot love myself.”
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within accepting the idea/belief that I am not loved and accepting the judgment within that, thinking that I am unworthy, I have accepted a self-definition as “unworthy” which did not allow me to love myself.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to love myself as life unconditionally, but have instead searched for love and though/believed that I must find love `out there´ as someone/something that will make me feel like I am loved and thus worthy – while I myself was not giving myself the value of life and was not accepting self-worth within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to create within my mind the belief that I cannot love myself because I am unworthy or because I am not loved – and to within that seek for value/worth and seek to be loved outside of myself, in separation from myself.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that by holding the belief that “I cannot love myself” I am the one that is not allowing myself to love myself and to live self-worth within and as who I am.
I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to question the fuzzy logic of my mind consciousness creating such conclusions as “I am not loved therefore I cannot love myself”, and that I hadn´t allowed myself to question the starting-point of such conclusion-belief – because if I had investigated and questioned such belief and the starting-point thereof: I would´ve seen that the starting-point is based in accepted `inferiority´ (=I am not loved therefore I am not worthy of love), and would thus have seen that my hopes/desires to `be worthy´ and `be loved´ have been projections of `superiority´ wherein I thought and believed that if I find someone/something to `love me´ and `make me worthy´ then I can compensate for/remove the `inferiority´ I experienced, without realizing that both polarities consist of and exist as the same ONE polarity-construct, the same trap, within which I am making myself and my worth dependent on external factors and allowing external factors to define me, who I am, and how I experience myself – instead of me taking self-responsibility for who I am and valuing myself as life, in self-worth, unconditionally.
“I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to love myself.”
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself that I need permission to love myself.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to give myself that permission.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to make myself subject to others/the system/the world/the mind, instead of taking SELF-responsibility and directive authority as to who I am and how I exist, and whether I am worthy of life or not.
“I am not loved therefore I am not happy.”
“I am not loved therefore I am not allowed to be happy.”
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when/if I am not loved then I cannot be happy or am not allowed to be happy.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I was within that creating the condition for myself that: in order for me to be happy, someone (other than me) must love me.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I was within that creating the condition for myself that: in order for me to be happy, someone (other than me) must give me permission to be happy by making me believe that I am worthy of being happy.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to define happiness as `being loved´ and to thus also form the definition of `unhappiness´ as `not being loved´ - without questioning the implications and consequences of such ideas/beliefs/definitions.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to define happiness/being happy in practical terms in a way that I can live happiness within and as who I am without being dependent on external factors.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to live happiness as me.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to be happy, based on the accepted idea/belief that “I am not worthy”.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to consider that I am able to `make myself happy´ by living in self-awareness with every breath in every moment in such a way that I value myself as life and everyone else in my world equally = participating in my reality in a way that supports life (both within myself and equally within everyone else in my world) and helps restore the value of life that we have so foolishly abdicated to systems of polarity and fake values
“I cannot be happy unless someone/another loves me.”
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to separate the word `love´ from myself.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to separate the word `happiness´ from myself.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to separate the word `worth´ from myself.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to project he words `love´ and `happiness´ and `worth´ out there for me to reach/seek/find – not realizing that by projecting these words out there I am separating them from me here and at the same time I am implying and accepting that Me Here is defined within lack of `love´, `happiness´, `worth´.
I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to consider that by making my `love´, my `happiness´, my `worth´ subject to another/someone/something – I am making Me subject to and thus dependent on another/someone/something.
Within this I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to take self-responsibility to live `love´, `happiness´, `worth´ AS myself, AS who I am, and to Give `love´, `happiness´, `worth´ to myself by Living `love´, `happiness´, `worth´ For Me, within and as who I am with every breath in every moment – instead of waiting/hoping/expecting `love´, `happiness´, `worth´ to be given to me by another/someone/something.
I commit myself to redefining `love´, `happiness´, `worth´ in practical terms equal to Life/living so that I am able to live these words as who I am, within this assisting and supporting myself to (re)establish my value as LIFE.
I commit myself to loving myself practically, within self-support and self-respect.
I commit myself to finding practical ways to make myself happy – and even though I realize that happiness cannot be something permanent until we change the world system in a way that ensures happiness for all life; I also realize that personal happiness can be achieved through self-honest self-appreciation within Living every moment to the best of my ability, not accepting anything less than what is equal to life and thus best for life/all/me.
I commit myself to give myself the permission to live, express and expand, within this assisting and supporting myself to move past my accepted limitations and definitions of polarity/mind – as I realize that within giving myself the permission to live, express and expand: I am assisting and supporting myself and others in my world to live to the full potential each one has/is as life.
I commit myself to valuing myself as life and finding practical ways to live and express self-worth as the value of life that I am, as I realize that if we do not even value ourselves as life for-real we will never be able to manifest a world where life is valued for-real.
 |
| ART by Matti Freeman |
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