Continuing from

Day 498 | When Gloomy is Loony and Mood is Doom

One thing I have realized is that no matter what we think and believe, the truth of ‘Who I am’ is within my Thoughts, Words, and Deeds.

Therefore,

I take Responsibility for my Words

I take Responsibility for my Actions

I take Responsibility for the Reactions I have accepted and allowed myself to cause within other human beings through Words I have spoken and Actions I have acted-out in Unawareness of Life, in complete mind-possession/ego-possession = in self-interest and self-inFeariority. I forgive myself.

I commit myself to let go of the inner mental polarity of fear and control / fear and the desire or need to control; As I see, realize and understand that any need or desire to control - myself, or others, or situations, or outcomes - reveals that I exist within fear as inFeariority instead of standing equal to and one with what it is I am facing at any given moment.

Therefore, I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed fear to drive me; and that I've accepted and allowed the want/need/desire to control - myself, or others, or situations, or outcomes - to exist within me; instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that whatever I am trying to control is merely the attempted 'fulfillment' of my self-defined "lack" (whereby I am trying to control and manipulate the particular parameters that define me, within this manipulating and abusing my reality, my words and behaviors as they are steered through the programs of my conditioned consciousness to feed it with energy and ensure its automatic self-preservation).

I forgive myself that I hadn't allowed myself to see that I exist within survival fear - though deep inside I know that the moment my accepted self-definitions are debunked, 'I' as that personality will no longer exist, my 'logic' as ego-personality in self-interest will no longer make sense as it will shatter in the face of self-honesty and practical common sense, and thus I as an ego mind consciousness system see no choice but to stand equal to and one with what I have become, face myself, and gift myself the gift of life, the gift of self-respect, the gift of caring, and the will to live, thus the will to stand, and embrace life as who I am and as what everything really is - beyond the power games and limitations of consciousness systems;

Essentially I commit myself to transform ME from a consciousness system in separation into a living being in oneness and equality, from self-interest as ego into self-interest as life.

I commit myself to live responsibly and in self-respect as life, so that I may honor others as life equally, with every thought, word and deed.

I commit myself to deliberately and consistently stopping my self-destructive and destructive nature; I commit myself to deliberately stopping myself from going into the mind as energy - and when and as I find myself 'forcefully driven', going into a ‘rush’, regardless what kind of ‘righteousness’ is busy brewing in my mind as thoughts, internal conversations or back-chatting: I stop, I take a breath, I slow myself down, and I ground myself Here as I breathe, within physical reality as a physical being; in the same moment I let go of any and all wants / needs / desires / expectations / opinions / judgments that I see have been driving me through the mind - and I allow myself to stop following the mind, and simply Be Here, so that I may see what is here and make a clear decision of Who I am and how I will be in this moment.

I remind myself of 'what it's all about'- namely about birthing life here, nurturing life, restoring the value of life, within and as myself, and my world equally, as I participate in life with my words, thoughts and deeds.

I commit myself to 'get real', wherein I take Responsibility for my words, my thoughts, and my deeds, as those are the three primary dimensions within and as which I make myself real here in this physical reality we all share.

Therefore the question is about what it is that I’m making myself real as, what it is that my participation in this physical reality is accumulating into and as; and therefore I commit myself to birthing myself as life from the physical by living every moment in ways that are best for all / best for life and for the ego; I commit myself to birth myself as life, as a physical human being that lives in self-respect in honor of life as oneness and equality and thus as a human beings that speaks, thinks and acts in real care, in common sense as best for all in every moment real-time - as best for life.

I commit myself to move myself beyond the pettiness of my fears and desires; and to let go of any and all limiting and inferiorizing (self-)definitions that I had accepted and allowed myself to manifest through me as my life, either through my words, my thoughts, or my deeds.

I see, realize and understand that I cannot change the past, I cannot undo what I have done or what I have spoken; I cannot take away the pain or confusion that I’ve caused - but I can forgive myself in self-commitment of stopping such behaviors, as I have seen, realized and understood the separation that I had accepted within my mind and my beingness; I can forgive the fears and desires I've held onto as I have seen, realized and understood the ego-systems and -programs involved, in submission to which I had accepted and allowed myself to condition myself as an ego-system trapped in internal and external power-games in separation from life as who I really am and can be; I can amalgamate all that is here in my life as myself, I can assist and support myself to walk through the consequences I have created within my life and myself as I take self-responsibility; I can assist and support myself to stand equal to and one with it all, as myself, as my life, as my creation, and become the living expression of Self-Responsibility as I commit myself to make sure that I stand my ground and honor my decision to stand for life, honor my commitment of honoring life as myself and others equally.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to "break on through to the other side" - which I see as the process of letting go of the old patterns and habits of ego, of fear, of inferiority, of polarity and systematic separation; walking out of the mind systems of consciousness and mental possessions; and establishing myself here in self-awareness as life.

And once my stand in awareness as life is stable with every breath I take, which is something for self to prove to self – standing the test of time – alone - within and throughout the depths of self's existence; and once the systems of mind are but like shadows in the wind as memories of the past that have no influence or directive principle in the Here of reality, I will know that I have made the "break-through to other side" - the side of life where there's no more sides, where all is one; one and equal as I stand here, where there is no more inner conflict, as I am here in absolute certainty, in absolute clarity of self, in absolute awareness of what is Here as me, as the words and deeds that I express within my world, my environment, as I walk in absolute synchronicity of my physical breath and physical beingness in every moment, in real-time, with all that is here in my life as me; at the same time remaining grounded, walking one breath at a time, step by step, in humbleness, as I explore what it is to live, to express, to support myself and others as life, to share life, to create life.

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From my previous post:

"Understanding our value-systems and understanding how POLARITY works within ourselves (Mind system) and our reality (World system) is of great support, and I will expand more on this point in blogs to come"

So I’ve listened to this fascinating interview series @eqafe and I was quite amazed to realize that in my life I was stuck within an experience of Gloominess, without even really being aware of it!

How can that be possible?! And yet here I was, listening to this and to the description of the experience of Gloominess and I was like, omg wtf, it all makes sense now…

What I find most fascinating within this particular interview series on Gloomy/Gloominess is that it –just by the way- demonstrates the BIPOLAR nature of consciousness and how we tend to trap ourselves within the polarities of the mind, within this missing the practical solutions that are right here, if we’d only see things for what they are and ask ourselves the right questions.

If one has some critical reasoning skills, one is able to apply the insights and understanding from this point (the gloomy and bipolar nature of consciousness) in order to understand many other aspects and experiences of one’s life.

Here are some questions that are being addressed within this series:

Part 1 Gloomy: Introduction

How do you create the experience of Gloominess in your Mind and Body?
Why is Gloominess more of an ‘experience’ that is created in the Mind than an ‘emotional energy’?
How is the relationship between the Mind, your Beingness and the Physical Body involved in creating the experience of Gloominess?
How are dimensional shifts involved with creating the experience of Gloominess?
What are dimensional shifts?

Part 2 Gloomy: Disconnected

-From what dimension of interconnectedness do you disconnect and how does this disconnection play a role in contributing to the experience of Gloominess?
-How does your beingness ‘disconnect’ from the physical body and what role does your beingness’ relationship to the Mind play within this?
-How can you use the experience of Gloominess to cross-reference the extent to which you accepted and allowed a ‘disconnect’ to manifest in the trinity-relationship between the mind, beingness and physical body?

Part 3 Gloomy: When You are Gloomy

-How does the Mind Consciousness System ‘record’ all the reactions that you have participated in in the Mind and what is the relationship between these recorded reactions and the experience of Gloominess?
-What is the difference between Gloominess and Depression?
-Why is it that most people are actually in a state of Gloominess and how can you practically assist and support yourself to identify where, when and how the Gloominess experience manifests within you?

Part 4 Gloomy: Moods and Dooms

-How does the experience of Gloominess contribute to the moods you experience from day to day?
-When you disconnect from a part of yourself in the Mind, how does the Mind use the energy involved in this disconnection process and channel it into the experiences of high and low moods?
-Why does the experience of Gloominess directly influences your physical experience and living, which is why with Gloominess your process will first start with practical application change?

Part 5 Gloominess: Letting Go

-Why do things exist in your Mind that you are afraid of facing and how can you support yourself to change and transcend these things within your Mind?
-Why do the things that you disconnect from within your Mind manifest as supressions that contribute to the experience of Gloominess and further compromise your mind, body and the outside world?
-Where do you start with the Self Forgiveness process in relation to supporting yourself to release yourself from Gloominess?

In my next post I will address one polarity that I have encountered within my mind when I, through Writing, looked at my living application of the particular point. It will be about the polarity of ‘fear of loss’ & the desire/need for ‘control’.

Stay tuned.