Samstag, 13. September 2014

Day 519 | 7 Steps to Stop Disempowering Yourself

Several weeks ago I had a very interesting experience. My team of people with whom I work together in mutual support were all coincidentally not getting back to me, not answering my emails in the usual time frame. The timing couldn't have been more perfect! Life was giving me a lesson, and an opportunity to step beyond my habitual response.

See - the trigger point being that everyone wasn't getting back to me, I went into a reaction/experience of ‘feeling left alone’, ‘feeling abandoned’ and like ‘nobody cares’.

Within accepting such energetic charges within myself and the corresponding thoughts, what was in fact happening is that I was shifting my focus and attention from ME HERE to ‘them’, and within this I was going into a mode of self-victimization along with shifting responsibility, thus blaming ‘them’ for how I was experiencing myself.

Now this didn’t happen immediately, I was in fact seeing how such thoughts and inner experiences were problematic, but instead of directing them/myself immediately, I would tell myself in my mind that “it’s okay” and “things are not like they seem” and “I'm sure they'll get back to me soon”, but at the same time I was suppressing my inner experience – until one day I woke up and burst right into tears, lol. That is when I realized and decided: Alright now, enough is enough, let me direct this point.

What I then found is quite simplistic, and yet through ‘trapping myself in my mind’ and trying to ‘overcome’ the experience by suppressing it I had created a time loop that made the ‘problem’ seem bigger than it is and kept me from getting to a solution that would empower me and allow me to move forward.

See – throughout that time, I was focusing more on what I CANNOT do due to not receiving the feedback, and forgot all about what I was ABLE to do in the meantime. Which (apart from the obvious work-related points) would be first of all to take self-responsibility for my emotional experience and stop my reaction of self-victimization, stop disempowering myself.

That point of disempowerment in itself is quite a bizarre manifestation as it in entails in fact a point of self-manipulation and self-sabotage. And why? Just because it's apparently easier for us to blame it on others than to take self-responsibility. That is part of the human condition. See, I was the one keeping myself in that state, I was the one deciding what to focus my attention on, I was the one differing responsibility – I was the one disempowering myself!

Once I had enough of the shit and decided to move myself to resolve this point and regain my power – the matter was quite simplistic.

So here are 7 steps to STOP disempowering yourself:

  1. Take a breath, and focus on breathing – this is your real space-time reality
  2. Shift your focus from ‘them’ to ME HERE
  3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
  4. Stop any comparison that you may entertain within yourself
  5. Investigate how you create and/or perpetuate your negative experience – write it and right it!
  6. Focus on what you CAN do – and do it!
  7. Commit yourself to walking through your fears and limitations

Like any advice, it is what you make it. It's not about where it will take you, it's about where you will take yourself! You decide to what depth you take these simple instructions. I would suggest: Own them!

For example, you can write out in detail all thoughts and inner conversations, all excuses and justifications that come up in your mind – all those ‘voices in your head’ trying to ‘explain’ to you why you are right!

See – those are the very ego-mechanisms that ensure we remain limited and inferior, stuck in our own ‘knowledge box’ and inviting in our lives only those who are willing to pat us on the shoulder. Misery loves company. Like attracts like. So stop belittling yourself and rather commit yourself to exploring and expressing your utmost potential.

Furthermore, you can investigate your fears. Write them out and do a reality check – you will find that most of your fears are irrational. Seeing this is a cool wake-up call, and you can in one moment make a decision to let an irrational fear go. If you find pragmatic reasons for a certain fear within you – move yourself to pragmatic steps, eg. enhance your abilities and qualifications. Again: focus on what you can do and take a step-by-step approach to doing it!

You can further investigate where and how you keep holding on to a perception of lack within yourself and how you justify such limitations. Write it all out! See – if you keep things in your mind they tend to merely cycle and re-cycle, over and over again. If you write them out, you can give them direction and move yourself toward Change. The trick within this, is to write in self honesty. Dare to be ‘brutally honest’ with yourself and remember to always bring each point ‘back to self’ – by asking yourself How am I creating this, and how can I take self responsibility?

See – an interesting point within our social conditioning is that we hardly ever learn that responsibility equals power. Instead, we are taught and conditioned to fear responsibility, to avoid it at all cost, to define our freedom in separation from our own reality context. Personal freedom and power is not to be found out there somewhere or on some faraway island where we imagine ourselves sipping on our favorite cocktail. Honestly, even with the things you enjoy most – do the rational reality check: How long can you sit there sipping on your favorite cocktail before you’ve had enough of it?!

So – find the points of responsibility within your own life and your world/reality, embrace them, and stand up to regain your power – live your freedom within who you are and how you conduct yourself in every little moment. No longer am I accepting and allowing myself to disempower myself!

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