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Dienstag, 28. August 2012

Day 131: Want Home - “Here” & “There” | Self Realization Commitments

ART by Anna Brix Thomsen

This is continuing from:

Day 128: Standing Up from Falling in Love

Day 129: Alternate Reality Creation in Backchat - The Enemy Within

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"

So, I in my previous blog post had written out the points that opened up for me to look into, and started with the last word:

- Restlessness / ‘On the Run’

- ‘Find Peace’ / Home

- Fear - Wrong – Right

- "There"

Within this blog post I continue with self realization commitments on the same point.

I commit myself to practically aligning myself Here, being Here in every breath in the realization that it is through the accumulation of ‘who I am’ in every breath that I develop and establish myself and my reality –

instead of “there” which is a projection of the mind based on pre-programmed ideas that create desires, hopes, and fears and thus keep me trapped within a limited option without actual self-direction, due to my acceptance and allowance of the energetic polarity patterns of fear and desire/hope as ‘valid’, when they are not: they are simply the result of my conditioned consciousness, my pre-programming, and indicate not who I really am as life but merely the nature of the personalities and protection-/defence-mechanisms I exist through as Ego/consciousness.

I commit myself to stopping myself from existing in a state of mind where I am as if constantly projected "there", or as if this "there" constantly exists, and I am somehow 'pulled toward it'; When and as I notice that I am accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my directive-principle and my presence as breath to projections of the mind, where I would go into hoping or wishing or wanting/needing/desiring:

I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back Here, to direct myself in the context of the actuality of my reality, making sure that I stand within a point of self-responsibility = no longer separating and projecting parts of me into some future or onto another being waiting/expecting that to ‘save me’. Rather, I ‘save myself’ in every moment – ‘save’ myself from following the projections of the mind, by remaining Here within and as breath in every moment, thus remaining in self-clarity and self-direction to walk life in Real-Time equal and one and be the directive principle of me here.

I commit myself to living the realization that whenever I find myself going into a want, need and desire for "there", I within this in fact diminish Me Here.

Therefore the moment I see myself going into a want, need and desire for "there": I stop, I breathe, and I bring myself back Here, to the actuality of my reality in the moment, as I am Here, as I breathe here in every moment.

I commit myself to living the realization that while I think, feel and believe that I miss something “there” – I am in fact missing Here.

Therefore, I train myself to remaining Here, through breathing and self-awareness as life, as breathing, not as a mind that is trapped within past conditioning and future projections.

I commit myself to live the realization that Life is Here. Therefore, ‘fear of missing out’ or fear of ‘not living’ is in fact an indication that one does not live, but exists trapped in the projections of one’s own accepted definitions of ‘living’;

and while one imagine ‘living’ or ‘try to live’, one does not Live in fact.

I commit myself to living the realization that Life/Living is the actuality of reality in every moment, in full awareness of all that is here as life.

I commit myself to stopping the mental polarity and emotional trap of “here” and “there” and setting myself free from past conditioning and future projections –

so that I may stand in full self-responsibility Here, thus in full self-power Here, in oneness and equality as myself, as life, as breathing self-awareness in every moment.

I commit myself to seeing others as me Here – therefore seeing who another is in actuality, instead of seeing the projections of my own mind.

I commit myself to always immediately take a judgment, an opinion, or any backchat that comes up in the mind toward another at any given moment: and bring the point back to myself, forgive the projection, and take responsibility for the point by looking at how that judgment / opinion / backchat in fact relates to ‘who I am’ / ‘who’ I allow myself to be –

in the realization that I am in essence always facing myself, and any reaction I have indicates points within myself that I have not yet looked at effectively and directed to self equality and oneness, in self-honesty and self-responsibility.

Therefore I commit myself to ‘reminding’ myself that I am walking my process for ME, for self; I am walking life facing ME – thus I am able to amalgamate with any point I face in every moment, equal and one, seeing it for what it is, forgiving it, correcting myself as it, changing ME and re-aligning ME, and eventually within this process, I become a living example of change, of directive-principle, of the stopping of separation and walking in self-responsibility.

I realize that Life is Here.

I realize that I am Here.

I commit myself to live these realizations as best for Life.

I accept What is Here.

I accept Here.

I accept Me Here.

I accept that I am Here.

I realize within this that my responsibility is Here, and that is equal to absolute self-responsibility.

I realize that only through accepting What is Here and embracing it as Me – can I change it; because then I am changing Me.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com

@ eqafe for FREE:
* Spirituality Under the Microscope - Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* How I was able to Hear the Desteni Message <<< PDF Download - Blog Compilation
* What the FAQ in an Equal Money System – Volume 2 <<< PDF Download
* Hell Spoof <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality
* What makes me Starve in a World of Plenty <<< MP3 Download - Music for Equality

Day 130: Want Home - "Here" and "There"

ART by Kelly Posey

I have some pictures of me at young age, 2 or 3 years old, where I have this 'lost' expression on my face - like I don't know where I am, why I am, what I am supposed to be doing.
From a very young age I remember this feeling of 'not being home', and very quickly I developed this habit of visiting friends' homes because it somehow felt better to be 'there'.

The operative word being 'THERE' - and I'll get to that in a moment.

I was moved a lot as a kid, having grandparents in two different countries, plus my parents travelled a lot between the two countries when I was very young and I was left with the grandparents in the one place or the other. I changed several schools due to these circumstances as well. It wasn't until recently though that I started looking into the history of parents and grandparents and the circumstances they were exposed to, like war, struggle, being refugees, moving places. I myself was in my mother's belly during a war and born shortly after the family moved to another place.
In the beginning of my Journey to Life writings I had a look at the point of being a refugee and carrying with me the emotion of this word/experience.

When I finished school I immediately went to another country to study, where I ended up staying for the other half of my life, then went back to my 'homeland' for a short period of time before I travelled to South Africa to stay at the Desteni farm for three years, then again back to 'homeland' where I wanted to see whether and how I can perhaps find 'peace', yet a year later I again moved to another country to take on a job. And even though I had already, theoretically, realized that home is Here, and I am Here, therefore I am at Home - this point of self equality and oneness, where one is 'at peace', silent, not searching, not running, not wanting - simply Here -
there was still this feeling/emotion/state of mind that somehow was like 'driving' me from the inside, a creepy underlying feeling, perhaps best described as fear, or uncertainty, or irritation, or restlessness.

Restlessness.
Another point to which to come back to and investigate.

Fear of doing 'the wrong thing', or being 'at the wrong place' 'in the wrong time'. WTF!

Recently I came face to face with this 'feeling' which had become a sort of emotional obsession as it manifested within my relationship.
Where I had projected my WANT for a HOME onto my relationship - instead of living the realization that I am Here therefore I am Home.

Putting it all together, it seems I've been on the run my whole life. The word that comes up here is Restlessness.

Points to investigate through self-forgiveness and re-define:

Restlessness / On the Run
Find Peace / Home
Fear - Wrong - Right
"There"

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be aligned to a definition of "there" which I imagined and created in my mind and charged it over time with feelings of 'positive', 'peace', 'stop running, 'having arrived', 'home', 'fulfilment'.

(Wow fascinating crescendo there! - amazing what we make out of words through charging them with energetic values! - that is a point for another blog post, looking into the Living Word, what we've made of it/ourselves, and what it/we could be...)

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of mind where I am as if constantly projected "there", or as if this "there" constantly exists, and I am somehow 'pulled toward it'.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously, underlyingly, exist within a want, need and desire for "there", within this diminishing myself Here, and therefore equally missing Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that while I constantly think, believe and feel that I am missing "there" and thus "I gotta get there" - I am in Fact missing Here, missing myself Here, existing in essence no-where really, but kinda floating in the air, feet searching for ground ...all the while I am Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I also created a 'fear of missing out' which is basically a fear of 'not living' - and through accepting and allowing this fear to exist within me: I basically manifested it, manifested ME as in fact not living, because I am not Here, I am somehow always "trying to live", always "getting there" and "missing" "there" - when in the actuality of Reality I am missing Me Here.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to manifest myself between the 'poles' of "there" and "here" - in all possible aspects of my life: relationship/partnership, job, friendships, family.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see my partner as "there" and to 'miss him' here.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to see my partner as 'missing here' when in Fact it is I that was missing here - and I was wishing for my partner to bring the "there" to me here. WTF!

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to be Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept Here.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed myself to accept Me Here.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles