145: Day 5 of 21 Practicing Self Equality | Self Forgiveness & Commitment

This is continuing from

Day 141: A New Starting-Point for Life | 21 Days of Practicing Self Equality
Day 142: 2 of 21 Days of Practicing Self Equality | In Spite of the Routine
Day 143: 3 of 21 Days of Practicing Self Equality | It's a Living, Not a Doing
Day 144: 4 of 21 Days of Practicing Self Equality | I've been standing in my way

 

“Judge not lest you be judged”. Judgment Day is every day, every moment, in every breath.

 

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within an attitude towards myself wherein I am constantly observing myself looking for mistakes.

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is the mind's habit of keeping itself busy and not allowing me to simply be here, but wanting me for itself, wanting to preoccupy me into feeding it with attention – and that within that, it is I as the mind that keep myself busy within and as the mind, instead of Living.

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to create and embody a morality-character, wherein from a young age I developed the perception that there must be something ´wrong´ with me, and from there I started creating projections of the opposite polarity, trying to ´get it right´ and to finally get the permission to live – WTF!

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself as ´wrong´ and that within that I did not give myself the permission to live, but have instead expected and desired for others to tell me that I am ´right´, that I am ´Okay´, and that therefore I am given the permission to live.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle and self-responsibility in separation from myself – instead of realizing I am the one that decides, I am the one that must give myself the permission to Live.

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the polarity-morality of ´right´ and ´wrong´, wherein I had defined myself/life as ´wrong´ and was looking for ´the right thing´ in separation from myself here.

 

Within this I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle and self-responsibility to the mind and the mental concepts of polarity value-judgments – instead of accepting me here as life, in self equality and oneness.

 

 

I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to live a 'new morality' as a way of life, beyond ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, but in self-honesty, as who I am and how I participate;

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to project this idea of a ´new morality´ as a mental concept ´out there´ in separation from myself, instead of LIVING a new morality as life here, as who I am in every moment of breath.

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed even the most subtle self-judgment to exist in the background of my being as a constant 'state of mind', as if this morality-entity that I´ve created through and as the mind is constantly waiting for me to 'make a mistake', to 'do something wrong', so that it can bring me ‘down’ and let me feel like a ‘failure’.

 

I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself within and as the mind through polarity concepts of ´right´ and ´wrong´, ´success´ and ´failure´, ´superiority´ and ´inferiority´ - within this keeping me from actually Living and directing myself in self-honesty as life.

 

I forgive myself that I hadn´t allowed myself to see that I, through my conditioned and accepted application within and as the mind, was standing in my own way of living self equality as life.

 

I see and realize that the solution is ME – me directing me to embrace and amalgamate the mind and any 'aspect' of me that I allowed myself to separate myself from –

and to acknowledge that for whatever reasons I developed this constant self-judgment (which I could see throughout my Journey to Life: family background, people experiences, self-definitions and expectations, the morality point I mentioned above), I can now Stop; because the only thing this judgment served was to keep me 'down', to keep me 'troubled', to keep me ‘preoccupied’, to keep me in acceptance of ‘not being good enough’/’not worthy enough’, to keep me in the ‘negative’ end of the polarity, always ´trying´ to ´get it right´ but never being ´good enough´.

 

Within this I realize that through this accepted application of me within and as the mind, I kept being ´negative´ about myself, and kept trying to ‘find myself’ or ‘fulfil myself’ myself within a projected 'better'/'positive' idea and belief of myself which I was projecting 'out there', and thus within that per implication I had accepted a 'negative'/'wrong' idea and belief of myself in the Here (see my Blog posts on this polarity/separation point of “Here” and “There”).

 

I realize that through having and accepting this judgmental attitude and negative experience of myself within myself = I was giving it to myself personally, I was creating it and re-creating it.

 

I realize that I was standing in my way of living and applying self equality, due to my own accepted and allowed separation, based on a morality of 'right' and 'wrong' and other bipolar value-judgments.

 

 

I commit myself to investigating and letting go of any and all value-judgments within myself, to assist and support myself to establish my value as life, in self equality and oneness, to walk life in self-honesty and practical common sense, instead of basing my living on mental concepts and judgment which are in essense FAKE VALUES.

 

I commit myself to Living, instead of keeping myself preoccupied in the cycles of the mind.

 

I commit myself to stepping out of the morality-character and getting to actual self-honesty and self-acceptance.

 

I commit myself to training myself into absolute self-responsibility, to no longer accept or allow myself to be defined, determined and directed by what ´others´ say, think or show towards me, as I realize that what I 'see' is always my perception as my conditioned mind that exists within and through the judgments and definitions already defining my reality through my acceptance and allowance - thus what I 'see' is always myself.

 

 

 

I commit myself to setting myself free from the limitations of/as my conditioned mind and letting go of judgment so that I may SEE THINGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE from the perspective of CAUSE and EFFECT, thus understanding consequence, thus placing myself in a position to change things / change myself - transforming the conditioned patterns of separation/abuse through self-honesty into living solutions as Best for Life.

 

I commit myself to stopping the want, need and desire for ´acceptance´ and ´validation´, stopping expecting ´others´ to give me the permission to live. Instead, I give me the permission to live, and I direct myself out of the mind and into Living.

 

I commit myself to LIVING a new morality as life here, as who I am in every moment of breath, instead of projecting an idea of ´morality´ as a mental concept ´out there´ in separation from myself.

 

I commit myself to stop looking for mistakes, in myself and others, as I realize that this application is of no support for life, but only for the mind in terms of keeping itself busy and preoccupied in cycles of polarity and constant inner conflict.

 

I realize that judgment / self-judgment has been and become like a constant background operating-mode within me.

 

Therefore, I commit myself to deliberate practicing self equality and living the realization that it is I as breathing presence here in every moment, as directive principle in self-responsibility, that must be/become this 'constant' within and as myself: the foundation, the operating platform, the starting-point, the source code - Me Here as Life. Living and applying what is Best for Life.

Read up on the MIND and CREATION:
http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

For support and participation visit:
http://forum.desteni.org
http://equalmoney.org/forum/
http://desteniIprocess.com

Visit my Blog sites:
http://breath-expression.blogspot.com
http://equal-money-revolution.blogspot.com
http://earthglobalreview.wordpress.com


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