Day 527 | Walking Self-Forgiveness for Seeing Self through the Eyes of Others

AndrewGable ART

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to see myself through the eyes of “the others” – through how I think and believe the others perceive me.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to measure my worth and my value through the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that it is my own insecurities that I’m facing through “others” which is actually through my own thoughts about others - and that thus I can actually look at what I think I see and realize: it is I who hasn’t given myself the worth and value, hasn’t established within myself worth and value as life,  and thus I haven’t accepted worth and value as myself, as I had not yet realized until now that I in accepting that the value is life and that the worth must be self-worth to be real, I see now that I can form and establish my worth and value through how I live and who/how I am within myself and in my relationship with my mind. I am able to ‘take back’ the value and worth which I have separated from myself and attached to ideas in my mind or to other people and other people’s behavior to tell me who I am and ‘how much’ I am worth, and whether I am ‘good enough’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within the want/need/desire to ‘be good enough’ and in a state of seeking/trying to be ‘good enough’/’more’/’perfect’.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to make my self-worth dependent on others, thus within that giving away my responsibility and expecting /waiting for others to determine my worth/value.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to define myself ‘through the eyes of others’ and to within that manifest a fear of ‘being not good enough’ or ‘losing value’, fear of ‘making mistakes’ or ‘fear of failure’, worrying about how others will see/perceive/judge me.

I forgive myself that I hadn’t yet allowed myself to let go of self-judgment within myself, and to stop fearing “other people’s” judgment, because it is only through my own acceptance that such judgment can have an influence on me.

Therefore I commit myself to Stop wanting/needing/desiring/trying to ‘be good enough’ and be ‘accepted’/’appreciated’ by “others” and instead I simply accept that I am here and that life is the value. I determine by myself (=in self-responsibility) for myself ‘what I am worth’, through how I live and who/how I decide to be, what I stand for. Therefore I realize that self-worth is here as me, I can live it within myself, I do not need/require others to tell me I am ‘worthy’.

Thus I make the decision to release myself from defining myself ‘through the eyes of others’ and to stop the fear of ‘being not good enough’ or ‘losing value’, stop the fear of ‘making mistakes’ or ‘fear of failure’, stop worrying how others will see me – and simply LIVE the way I would like to see myself living, as best for me, as life.

‘Seeing self through the eyes of others’ and the ‘fear of not being good enough’ are highly related to the experience/feeling of Insecurity that every one knows/has experienced. What is interesting, is how our Insecurity is connected to our perceptions of ‘Authority’, which can be seen in my above examples where self looks at self through the eyes of others, within this giving “the others” authority to determine and define self.

I see, realize and understand that expecting/wanting/needing “others” to tell me /show me that I am ‘worthy’ is me giving away my responsibility and thus my power to “others” – instead of realizing that what I project unto/as “others” is a part of myself that I require to integrate, take responsibility for, and express/direct.

I make the decision to value myself and find ways to practically live self-support/self-care/self-valuing, to stop sabotaging myself with ideas of superiority-inferiority as in ideas of ‘good enough’ in my mind.

Here obviously each one walking through such process must self investigate and look at how do I see 'me' through the eyes of others, what polarities (positive/negative) exist within MY mind about MYSELF, where do they come from, and do they really serve me, do they really serve my decision to live my full potential as life?

The more SPECIFIC we are in looking at and identifying the polarities that are involved in the (mind-)'game' which we've accepted and allowed to define our reality - the more EFFECTIVE we will be changing it!

 

In this context:

An excellent audio recording as support in understanding Insecurity

 
For support check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE online course that will assist humanity to change the human condition and end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness. 

You may be interested in the daily process blogs that people from around the world share, check it out:

Destonians - The Earthlings

Join us in the Journey to Life !


*To participate & share perspectives visit the Forum

*For support in self empowerment visit desteniIprocess

*Visit @eqafe for educational downloadables, life-changing perspectives, music & much more...
...as well as loads of free stuff that you'll definitely enjoy : ) 

Activists!

Make sure to check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal @ the Equal Life Foundation – a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.

Day 512 | Redefining the word Expectations

So, looking at ‘my expectations’, I realized that my expectations, even the relevant ones, are always some idealized ideas and I remembered what once Sunette told me on the farm, quite in the beginning – that I was walking my day in a way as if I at the beginning of the day would project myself into some idea/ideal of who I am supposed to be /how the day is supposed to be - and then constantly being in the 'reach-out', like projected 'out there'.

So instead of living the relevant expectations - I had used the point of value as in the word ‘enough’ to sabotage myself and keep myself small, while I could keep on 'dreaming'/'imagining' the 'perfection or perfect conditions'.

Which now reminds me of something Bernard once said to me - "it's about who you are when things are NOT perfect..."

Also - within walking and deconstructing the word ‘enough’, I can see once again how the solution is always multiple times simpler than the problem - like here with my definitions of the word ‘enough’ as 'problem' in my mind, and the actual definition of the word’s expression as the 'solution' in the physical: where I can say “this is enough! I now direct and change this!”

So what I have found is that, okay, all my expectations are mental projections and exist in the context of ‘perfection’ –

and in working with the word ‘ENOUGH’ I diffused the polarity (where ‘perfection’ is the positive-polarity of ‘not being enough’, all in the light of validation and a ‘value’ separate from self-worth as life) –

so all my expectations are mental projections and exist in the context of ‘perfection’ – but I can transform that which was merely a positive projection into practical positive change.

I realize and understand that perfection is a process, and that I am able to practically live a process of self-perfection through self-commitment in the simplest moments in my everyday life, in all aspects of my life in fact. This perfection process is an equal and one process, there is no projected positivity or comparison to some superior ideal; it is simply the understanding of what it will take to create/manifest/experience/live that which one wants to live/develop/manifest as real value, and then realizing one can only walk this self-perfection process breath by breath – taking responsibility for one breath at a time, one point at a time. It is possible to live and walk in real-time. We are still far from that.

So – looking at what the word Expectations practically/physically express – I mean in common sense how can you practically expect something that you didn’t create/initiate? – I see that I require to effectively re-assess/structure my expectations based on and aligned with what physically exists and what is physically possible in my physical reality/world as well as who I am and what my abilities and qualifications are currently.

In other words, I can expect that which I am already busy creating/initiating/manifesting – or just accepting and allowing in ignorance and unawareness.

I realize thus that Expectations in practical common sense should be aligned with the projected accumulation of that which I am busy living and manifesting – in every moment, with every breath.

And things take time in physical reality, thus it is to not have expectations as mental projections ‘out there’ to mentally and emotionally distract me from being here in every moment!

So here, I redefine the words ‘my expectations’ from being an inflated/superior projection of myself ‘out there’ in separation from Me Here whereby I within that in fact implied that Me Here is ‘less than’/inferior – to simply be the projected result of that which I have committed myself to live/accumulate in the various aspects of my life and living.

Therefore, my expectations should equal the calculated consequences as cause & effect, whereby I am the directive principle.

The word/expression of ‘My Expectations’ thus also entails Self-Responsibility.

It is because I can see the accumulation/result/consequences of my participation in my world/reality that I realize: I have/I place these particular expectations upon myself/upon these particular aspects of my life because I take responsibility for myself/for these particular points.

I therefore realize that I am responsible for each and every point that I am faced-with throughout my life; and that in the context of LIFE as Value I require to be response-able in every moment as I live and participate in my world/reality. It doesn’t mean I have to say ‘yes’ to everything that crosses my way but it does mean to in any case make a directive decision and make a stand = determine who I am in the context of that moment/point/situation. Because that moment is about to have an effect on myself as well as has an effect on another’s life. Will I subject myself and others/another to ‘coincidence’, to preprogrammed patterns? Or will I make a decision as to who I am as in how I stand in relation to the moment/point and how I will direct myself and thus the context too into a best outcome that is supportive of LIFE in that it allows for communication, for expansion, for potential, for growth and real self expression.

This brings us back to the point of Self Responsibility – Next post to follow.

Check out the Desteni I Process Lite – a FREE course that will assist humanity to end the disaster of a dysfunctional consciousness. 

You may be interested in the daily process blogs that people from around the world share, check it out:

Destonians - The Earthlings

Join us in the Journey to Life !


*To share perspectives and ask questions visit the Forum

*For support and participation see the desteniIprocess

MUST-READ on Life and Creation:

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://earthsjourneytolife.blogspot.com

http://heavensjourneytolife.blogspot.com
http://desteni.org/articles

Visit @eqafe for life-changing perspectives, music & self-education...

...as well as some free stuff you'll definitely enjoy : )