572 | Overprotectiveness & Self Responsibility - Part 4

This is in the context of my previous posts – here are the links to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

A further interesting point that opened up through investigating the construct of overprotectiveness and how it reveals deferring self responsibility, is the word “defer” as such.

The word sounds very similar to “differ”, which means to be different.

Of course these are two different words, but what’s interesting is the following:

When I placed the word “differ” into the context of what I’ve looked at thus far (see my previous two posts on this on the construct of overprotectiveness) what I could see was the several times throughout my life where I did not want to “differ” from others around me; where I wanted to be “just normal” and not “different” to everyone else.

I've been aware of this experience and self-definition as I’ve worked with it in another context; but here within the context of overprotectiveness I can see that in wanting to not differ from others, in wanting to not stand out or in any way cause friction or disturb what I perceived as the harmony of for instance a relationship, a group, etc., I would be deferring self responsibility to all that which I didn’t want to differ from.

So you see, in this context I found it interesting that the words “defer” and “differ” would have this sort of connection.

Especially if we’re looking at the pattern of holding back and not speaking out – regardless of whether others agree or disagree with me. Where I’ve been too quick to accept that others are right or that others know better, and within this I suppressed my “different” perspective, and within this I was in fact deferring responsibility as well as undermining my self trust.

So – to finalize this investigation into the manifestation of ‘overprotectiveness’ I have now flagged this point for myself:

so that whenever I see my becoming overprotective, I ask myself: What does that which I’m trying to (over)protect represent to me? And where have I separated from myself all those qualities and values that I had attached to that point? What am I expecting from others that I could take back to myself and take responsibility for?

These questions have assisted me to take the point back to myself and take self responsibility for living the words Trust, Value, Purpose, and Path FOR MYSELF based on who I am in self honesty.

I will obviously continue supporting myself in transforming this pattern and automatic habit of making others ‘more’, perceiving others as ‘more than’ me, and I rather focus on myself and how I will practically live Trust, Value, and Purpose as well as what Paths, what Direction I will take within that.

 

Thanks for reading

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571 | Overprotectiveness & Self Responsibility - Part 3

Continuing from part 1 and part 2, here I want to elaborate on an aspect that shows the polarity construct well, and that is relationships.

I have observed that I am quite protective toward my partner, and have actually asked myself why. I was speaking self forgiveness in the shower opening up the construct of overprotectiveness, when the following opened up:

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that, in consciousness system terms, accessing overprotectiveness toward someone/something comes from self neglect, and indicates thus a point of deferring self responsibility.

So what I could see was that while being (over)protective is apparently defined by a ‘positive’ charge, the other side of the construct is based in fear/inferiority and has a ‘negative’ charge; both points are not real as such, though made real through belief and acceptance –

 yet what the construct reveals in essence is a point of deferring self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to defer my self responsibility to something/someone outside of myself, and to then become overprotective of them.

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to not see that accessing and going into overprotectiveness is a mechanism of the mind consciousness to ‘justify’ deferring self responsibility.

Therefore I commit myself to stick to self responsibility and bring the qualities and principles I had attached to “others” back to myself, to take responsibility for and LIVE.

To make the point more elaborate, let’s look at the relationship context again and how the construct exists:

Becoming overprotective because the “other” is now such an important point, ‘all my hopes and dreams rest upon them’ type of thing. And here is exactly where it can be seen how the point of self-responsibility is being neglected and deferred.

So for me, I am at a point where I see the necessity to stop self neglect and assist and support myself to take absolute self responsibility by bringing back to ME HERE all these ‘sacred’ qualities of Trust, Value (value is an interesting word that has many applications; here for instance, how do you value another or yourself: through respect, honor, regard, consideration; these would be some of the words describing the practical living of the word value. In  absolute terms I subscribe to one simple statement: Value Life) –

so, back to the point, bringing back to ME HERE the Trust, the Value / Principle, the Purpose and the Path; and Standing Alone on my own two feet to determine ‘my place in the world’ – which is also not (and shouldn’t be) something fixed or absolute, as this is indeed rather an organic process.

So in essence: making the decisions and taking the direction that is aligned with who I am and what I stand for – standing in self trust and living self responsibility.

Obviously it is not what I do that will define me but rather what principles, qualities and values I live, how I interact with people in my world on a daily basis, who I am within myself in every moment – our living application is always our truth.

Facing our truth and taking absolute self responsibility [which doesn’t imply walking one’s life alone; it simply implies realizing responsibility for one’s own creation i.e. life] requires self honesty – the courage to be honest with oneself about the Why, the What, and the How. Working together with others yet not attaching attributes to them in separation of myself; rather, assisting and supporting both my and others to live and interact and participate in our world based on true values and principles that are best for life –

VALUE LIFE

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570 | Overprotectiveness & Self Responsibility - Part 2

I'm continuing from my previous post.

We meet new people, new groups, new projects all the time. Our paths cross as we attract to each other based on resonant patterns, a likeness of mind, out of which we have the opportunity to work together and also to learn something more about ourselves.

My relationships with people and groups in my life have not been too many, as I have been a rather introverted individual, enjoying spending time with myself, my interests, writings, hobbies etc. I had been more on an inner path throughout my life rather than an external career path for example.

In my relationships however, i.e. the time and space I allocated and did share with others, I always valued the qualities of trust and transparency and expected these values to be lived and applied equally. When trust or transparency seemed threatened I’d tend to go into overprotectiveness, trying to ‘save’ the situation; instead of reevaluating the relationship, as that would be a point of self responsibility.

Obviously the value of my life and the purpose I give myself cannot be determined by any outside force. And yes, I will find people who share my values and yes I will be part of groups and projects, however it is up to me to measure and assess and evaluate in space time whether others in my life align/resonate with me.

What opens up for me in self honesty is the following: it’s not I that require to align myself to others – rather it’s about aligning myself to my own values. And indeed, there are no “others”. Meaning, the “others” in my life are always an extension of me, a resonance of me. And therefore, when “others” in my life ‘disappoint’, where I feel my trust is broken or where I access overprotectiveness, I can instead take the point back to self and take self responsibility.

And here I could see that there were times where I did not trust myself to stand by my perspective, by what I see and why this is what I see. Instead, I had accepted that others are more valid – and that comes from attaching the points of trust, value, purpose and path to something in separation from myself.

Therefore I commit myself to trust myself and to not fear standing by my self honesty.

I commit myself to not blindly accept another’s opinion or plan as valid just because they tell me they know better or just because I had ‘assigned’ that person/group/project the ‘authority’ to hold the values, to hold the purpose, to hold the path –

Therefore I am committed to self responsibility and to reassessing and redefining my values, my purpose and my path, to be more clear and more practical in walking my journey in this one life on earth.

I commit myself to live who I am as a living being, equal to and one with the value of life, and to embrace and apply self trust and self worth, realizing that I am the only one that can GIVE that to myself.

I will continue in my next post with further deconstructing the construct of overprotectiveness.

Thanks for reading

 

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