Following
the interview series on Lethargy recently and how this construct/system of/as
Lethargy functions and works within one's mind and physical, I came to
re-assess my definition of 'suppression' as well as my relationship to this
point: 'suppression'.
This is also in the context of the first point in my Declaration of Principle which reads: 1. Realizing and Living my Utmost Potential
Now,
looking at how I have approached my ‘utmost potential’ throughout my life, I’d
like to share what I’ve found so that others who may be facing similar points
and experiences can be assisted too.
So, back
to the point of ‘suppression’:
First
interesting thing I noticed is that we react to the word 'suppression' (spoken
or heard or read) with suppression, lol, as if immediately we KNOW that we ARE
suppressing ourselves and because this suppression literally exists within a
form of hiding, of ignoring, of not wanting to see, we in that moment react to
the word 'suppression' with suppression, with taking a step back within
ourselves as if this regards everyone else but not ourselves.
Another
interesting thing is that we tend to look at suppression as only being about
'suppressing our feelings' or not allowing ourselves to express freely. Then we
tend to blame others or think/believe that it's because who others are that we
are how we are (within this obviously we abdicate responsibility and thus all
power to change our experience whatsoever.)
We also
tend to see 'suppression' as this 'big thing', this 'big load' that we've been
swallowing and keeping within ourselves and carrying around, that which makes
as heavy - well yes, it may be and have become that; Yet within such fixed
perception we limit ourselves and are not allowing ourselves to see the small,
minute moments where we suppress, where a thought will come up or an emotional
experience will come up or any issue or problem and we somehow make the
decision to not deal with it now. Because we don't want to see it - it 'ruins'
the image we hold onto as ourselves, as 'who we are'. And so we suppress.
So
through that, I came to a simple definition of what suppression is, as in:
Suppression
= not dealing with / directing what comes up in the moment in real-time
Later I
was looking at what 'logic' my mind uses to 'support' suppression, perpetuating
the lethargy energy and creating friction.
One thing
I find important that we understand is that, the inner friction/conflict and
the balancing-out of our inner polarities (and that is regardless whether we
are a happy/positive person or a negative person) is what creates the energy
that 'feeds' our preprogrammed design, our mind consciousness system, our
conditioning. Worse yet, lol, it is in fact the mind consciousness system
itself (and this each one can observe and verify for oneself) - through our
non-participation , through our apathy, acceptance and allowance - that
constantly recreates the designs that keep it 'alive', that recreates the
patterns that define it, that make it exist. And that is our EGO - be it a
'positive'/'good' person or a negative/bad person. I have written before (and
this one can also reference one's own experiences with people and
relationships) about how even when the mind goes into and defines itself as
'inferior', the 'victim', 'poor me' etc. = that this is also an act of EGO, an
act of "what about ME?!"
So what
I'm saying is that who we are as a mind consciousness system will always fight
for our limitations, will always be self-righteous, will always fear loss and
seek some kind of 'grandeur' or 'specialness'. When we now, within ourselves in
awareness, start questioning our conditioned patterns, beliefs, definitions,
how we look at things, at ourselves, at other people: the mind is going to
'react', is going to go into a 'defense and protection' mode. Because however
we ARE the mind and have been the mind to the most extent of our beingness and
existence, WE are the ones 'reacting' to ourselves changing, expanding,
questioning, becoming the directive principle within ourselves and our
existences. It's as if the mind has a 'life' of its own - yet it's only a
program, a system.
Now
the question is: who are WE gonna be? Who am I going to be? Will I allow an
automated pilot to navigate my life and self experience where I can see that
most patterns I have developed are limiting? Or will I break through my
conditioned patterns and move myself to explore, investigate, question, and
determine who I am and can be, what I will accept and allow and what I will not
accept and allow in the name of LIFE that is me.
Ok – that
was a lot of compact info there so I'll leave it at that, perhaps as a concise
context of what this is all about.
To be
continued.
"Self as Eternal, as Real Does Not Exist until You are in fact Life and that is Evidenced in All of Everything that You are a part-of, where you completely Understand All Form, All Mechanisms, All Relationships – Until then, Self is just Potential and May Never Exist for Real – but in this Temporary Consciousness for a Moment, you’ll be Able to Look in a Mirror and Ask the Question “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: What is the Self in it All?” and Unless that Stands Clear Eternally that This is Life: There will be No Self For Real."
- Bernard Poolman
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point:
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