This one is about how I turned a moment...into a sleepless night lol
I wanted to share this in order to show how a seemingly small thought
can have major consequences in its outflows –
and how we are also able to turn a moment into the BEST it can be for
ALL participants in fact.
So a couple of weeks ago I was lying in bed with a question mark with
regards to my partner, a point that I wasn’t clear about and which, in the best
case, I would have wanted to clarify with him.
Instead, I got emotional as I was lying in bed, and I started thinking,
I started wanting to 'sort it out' NOW – and suddenly thoughts of blame emerged
together with the feeling of 'something is being done unto me' – and it went as
far as me thinking about ending the relationship –
When I realized that obviously this is extreme and no solution at all.
I ended up not sleeping at all that night, even though I did realize I
haver to let this go – I still couldn’t sleep. I will write about further
consequences and realization in my next post, but for now the point I’d like to
share is that -
I had in fact in a moment made the decision to follow the thoughts, I
WANTED to think, I WANTED to 'sort this out NOW' – and I wanted to ‘be right’
about what was coming up in my mind – which of course was but one single
dimension of an entire relationship, and of that only one side: mine.
It was also in one single moment that I had the following thought coming
up and accepted it: I won't be able to sleep. I can't sleep. I must sort this
out now.
But THINKING is a THIN KING, lol. So the moment took its turn on how I
followed the thoughts in my mind – instead of directing them as me. It was one
single moment's decision, in unawareness, through which I created that
sleepless night for myself and all the emotional conundrum...
Here I wanted to share and show the consequences of a moment’s decision and
how a moment can be ‘stretched out’ into a long moment of emotional-possession,
where I ‘lost real-time’ and got myself ‘lost in the mind’, at the same
creating consequential outflows in time, i.e. for the day after, both for
myself/my physical condition and for my work/schedule... possibly even for the
relationship I was thinking about, unless I direct the point and take
responsibility in clarifying/purifying my own issues and, if required, having a
conversation with my partner about what we need to look at and discuss –
without blame, without emotional reaction, but in pure common sense and
consideration of what’s best for all.
I will continue in my next post with how I later that day did finally
manage to turn the moment into something good, something of value.
In the meantime...
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