So after looking into the THOUGHT dimension in my previous Blog posts
and
seeing how
thoughts exist within and as
polarity constructs in defense of self-interest, I am continuing with the IMAGINATION dimension, looking at the points I listed in my
Laying out of the Mind Construct.
I forgive myself that I´ve
accepted and allowed myself to polarize myself through
thinking and imagination - whereby my thoughts have been conditioned into a negative perception of myself and my life, focusing on the´bad´, the ´failures´, the ´incompleteness´, the ´discontent´; and my imagination presents the opposite polarity, the ´positive´, the ´fulfilment´, the ´success´, the ´good´, the ´satisfaction´.
However, I realize that by
accepting this polarity, I allow the implication that I/things will never be ´
good enough´ and that the ´positive´, the ´fulfilment´, the ´success´, the ´good´, the ´satisfaction´ will always be ´out there somewhere´, and I will always be seeking, reaching out, wanting, expecting, wishing, hoping, waiting.
Therefore I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to exist ´on the fence´, which is the trap of the ´now´ of consciousness wherein each one is trapped within and due to which on is not really Here, with all that is here, facing what is here, directing What is Here to the best interest of life, as all, as one, as equals.
I realize that ´sitting on the face´ is the trap of consciousness, the trap of polarity, wherein one is defined and thus limited by the accepted polarities, the mental value-judgments of ´positive´ and ´negative´, of ´superior´ and ´inferior´, of ´winning´ and ´losing´, yet always subject to the polarities at the same time, thus never stable, here, as directive principle of what is here as self.
I see, realize and understand that within this polarity consciousness trap, self is always busy with self-interest, weighing out the ´positive´ and the ´negative´ and trying to ´win´ all the time, but not in the name of life as who one really is, which would then consequently have a best-for-all outflow in this one reality we all share, but in the name of the self-definitions, personalities and character roles we each one submit to and accept to be ´who we are´ in the context of this human race in survival mode.
I see, realize and understand that in order to
change the ´negative´, one requires to let go of the ´positive´ as well, those tiny rays of light that give one hope through imagination, wishful-thinking,
positive affirmations, you name it - it´s doing nothing to
change anything, let
alone the ´negative´.
I see, realize and understand that ´negative´ and ´positive´ thoughts exist as polarity constructs - and this is seen in the world where there is no
love without hate, no peace without war, no
freedom without struggle, no justice without crime, no dignity without atrocity, no inclusion without exclusion. And all our self-definitions and definitions of the world are but mental ´morality´ codes based in terms of ´superiority´ and ´inferiority´ and thus constant competition, in a world where we define our values on mental constructs of polarity, of ´winning´ and ´losing´ and thus everyone in one way or another seeks attention, seeks energy, seeks validation - for what? For the fake "values" we present to the world through and as personalities, self-image, like characters in a role play.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to exist within projections of
hopeful and wishful imagination wherein I´d expect "others" to change, to be different, to care - instead of taking that responsibility for self, as life, thus equally for all, as one.
I forgive myself that I´ve accepted and allowed myself to
abdicate myself, my directive power, my self-responsibility to "others", expecting from others to ´make my life better´ instead of taking absolute responsibility for
who I am and how I experience myself.
When and as I see myself THINKING about “others” and what “they” apparently do to me, where I suddenly see myself as a ‘victim’ or as ‘being done wrong unto’ and then go into hoping that the "others" will change so that I ´feel better´ / ´feel worthy´ / ´feel like I belong´ : I realize that in that moment I am separating myself from myself, from my equality and oneness, from my own responsibility and directive principle.
Therefore I in the moment stop, and I take a breath, as I realize that within such shift I´d in fact be going into blame and abdication of my responsibility, thus also abdication of my power – which is unacceptable.
Therefore I
breathe and I bring myself back here, I bring the points of negative projection (blame) AND positive projection (expectations /hopes /wishes) back to myself to take responsibility for, and I realize the power to change, the power to move, the power to be directive: within and as that moment of breath, Here, in self-responsibility.
In our imagination we are always better, always winning, always planning the best ways to get to our self-interest -- our self-interest not even being what is really best for self as life, but merely what will satisfy the ego of the personality / character role / self-image with which we identify.
When and as I see myself going into seeing myself / my life as ´negative´ and blaming others for how I experience myself, whereby I´d IMAGINE that if the "others" would behave differently or be different, or if "others" would love me and care for me, then MY experience of myself would be better and my life would be worthy:
I stop. I breathe. I realize that I am projecting my ´positive´
expectations out there, onto "others", which means I´d be giving away my power and my responsibility to "others", expecting "others" to change for my experience / me / my life to change.
Therefore I forgive myself in that moment, I stop, I step out of the polarity construct, and I stand-up within myself as life, to assist and support myself in remaining here, aligning myself to equality and oneness, stopping the race, the power-game, the CONtest, and I take responsibility.
Within this I take back my power - the power to change, the power to be directive, the power to make decisions, the power to move.
I will continue on this in my next post.
For further context to this Blog post see:
Day 184: Facing the Consequences of Following the Mind
Day 185: Value Issues & Consequences of Running on ENERGY
Day 186: Name the Game - Laying out the Mind CONstruct
Day 187: Be_Longing * The Absurdity of Longing to Belong
Day 188: Be_Longing * The Trap of Infinity
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http://desteni.org/articles
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