Several weeks ago I had a very interesting experience. My team of
people with whom I work together in mutual support were all coincidentally not
getting back to me, not answering my emails in the usual time frame. The timing
couldn't have been more perfect! Life was giving me a lesson, and an
opportunity to step beyond my habitual response.
See - the trigger point being that everyone wasn't getting back to
me, I went into a reaction/experience of ‘feeling left alone’, ‘feeling
abandoned’ and like ‘nobody cares’.
Within accepting such energetic charges within myself and the
corresponding thoughts, what was in fact happening is that I was shifting my
focus and attention from ME HERE to ‘them’, and within this I was going into a
mode of self-victimization along with shifting responsibility, thus blaming
‘them’ for how I was experiencing myself.
Now this didn’t happen immediately, I was in fact seeing how such
thoughts and inner experiences were problematic, but instead of directing
them/myself immediately, I would tell myself in my mind that “it’s okay” and
“things are not like they seem” and “I'm sure they'll get back to me soon”,
but at the same time I was suppressing my inner experience – until one day I
woke up and burst right into tears, lol. That is when I realized and decided:
Alright now, enough is enough, let me direct this point.
What I then found is quite simplistic, and yet through ‘trapping
myself in my mind’ and trying to ‘overcome’ the experience by suppressing it I
had created a time loop that made the ‘problem’ seem bigger than it is and kept
me from getting to a solution that would empower me and allow me to move
forward.
See – throughout that time, I was focusing more on what I CANNOT do
due to not receiving the feedback, and forgot all about what I was ABLE to do
in the meantime. Which (apart from the obvious work-related points) would be
first of all to take self-responsibility for my emotional experience and stop
my reaction of self-victimization, stop disempowering myself.
That point of disempowerment in itself is quite a bizarre
manifestation as it in entails in fact a point of self-manipulation and
self-sabotage. And why? Just because it's apparently easier for us to blame it
on others than to take self-responsibility. That is part of the human
condition. See, I was the one keeping myself in that state, I was the one
deciding what to focus my attention on, I was the one differing responsibility
– I was the one disempowering myself!
Once I had enough of the shit and decided to move myself to resolve
this point and regain my power – the matter was quite simplistic.
So here are 7 steps to STOP disempowering yourself:
- Take a breath, and focus on breathing – this is your real space-time reality
- Shift your focus from ‘them’ to ME HERE
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself
- Stop any comparison that you may entertain within yourself
- Investigate how you create and/or perpetuate your negative experience – write it and right it!
- Focus on what you CAN do – and do it!
- Commit yourself to walking through your fears and limitations
Like any advice, it is what you make it. It's not about where it
will take you, it's about where you will take yourself! You decide to what depth you
take these simple instructions. I would suggest: Own them!
For example, you can write out in detail all thoughts and inner
conversations, all excuses and justifications that come up in your mind – all
those ‘voices in your head’ trying to ‘explain’ to you why you are right!
See – those are the very ego-mechanisms that ensure we remain
limited and inferior, stuck in our own ‘knowledge box’ and inviting in our
lives only those who are willing to pat us on the shoulder. Misery loves
company. Like attracts like. So stop belittling yourself and rather commit
yourself to exploring and expressing your utmost potential.
Furthermore, you can investigate your fears. Write them out and do a
reality check – you will find that most of your fears are irrational. Seeing
this is a cool wake-up call, and you can in one moment make a decision to let
an irrational fear go. If you find pragmatic reasons for a certain fear within
you – move yourself to pragmatic steps, eg. enhance your abilities and
qualifications. Again: focus on what you can
do and take a step-by-step approach to doing it!
You can further investigate where and how you keep holding on to a
perception of lack within yourself and how you justify such limitations. Write
it all out! See – if you keep things in your mind they tend to merely cycle and
re-cycle, over and over again. If you write them out, you can give them
direction and move yourself toward Change. The trick within this, is to write
in self honesty. Dare to be ‘brutally honest’ with yourself and remember to
always bring each point ‘back to self’ – by asking yourself How am I creating
this, and how can I take self responsibility?
See – an interesting point within our social conditioning is that we
hardly ever learn that responsibility equals power. Instead, we are taught and
conditioned to fear responsibility, to avoid it at all cost, to define our
freedom in separation from our own reality context. Personal freedom and power
is not to be found out there somewhere or on some faraway island where we
imagine ourselves sipping on our favorite cocktail. Honestly, even with the
things you enjoy most – do the rational reality check: How long can you sit
there sipping on your favorite cocktail before you’ve had enough of it?!
So – find the points of responsibility within your own life and your
world/reality, embrace them, and stand up to regain your power – live your
freedom within who you are and how you conduct yourself in every little moment.
No longer am I accepting and allowing myself to disempower myself!
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Activists!
Make sure to check out the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal @ the Equal Life Foundation – a HOLISTIC and PRACTICAL-SOLUTION approach to the current socio-economic condition to end the disaster of a dysfunctional capitalism.
