Continuing from my previous post
<<...‘Seeing self through the eyes of others’ and the ‘fear of not being good
enough’ are highly related to the experience/feeling of Insecurity that every
one knows/has experienced. What is interesting, is how our Insecurity is
connected to our perceptions of ‘Authority’, which can be seen in my above
examples where self looks at self through the eyes of others, within this giving
“the others” authority to determine and define self.>>
Now – From my previous bog post we
can pinpoint some main fears: the fear of what other people will think of self
and how other people will see self and how other people will value or judge
self.
That’s where also for
instance the fear of making mistakes, the fear of losing, the fear of ridicule
comes from – “because how will that look in the eyes of people” and “what will that
say about me”.
So – is it really fear of ‘not
being good enough’, or is it fear of not being seen as good enough by other people? Because within self,
one may very well Know one is ‘good’ and capable, and that which is not good:
one can change. So what purpose does the fear serve really?
The ‘fear of not being good
enough’ one can approach simplistically by supporting oneself in becoming as
good as one would like to be, in developing one’s skills and talents, one’s
relationships in the world, making one’s life/living most effective, living to
one’s full potential. We don’t do that.
Instead we look at others
and think/believe we see in others this or that and we feel like this or like
that – using others to ‘define’ ourselves, using others to for instance
seek/get a feeling of acceptance or of appreciation or of respect, while we did
not consider to first give it to ourselves, live it, find out what it is,
before we even consider expecting it from others.
Within this, we create the
fear of being seen as ‘not good enough’ – culture (and esp. the ‘consumer
culture’ of/as the world system) plays a major role here too – and we make
ourselves and our own value and worth subject to ideas in our mind /to “others”
to define, to determine, to direct.
So the challenge here is
for self to accept the responsibility of being ‘the one’ who determines Who I
Am and determines the worth and value of oneself /one’s life = through one’s
inner awareness alignment AND through one’s outer participation, behavior, and
relationships in one’s world.
I mean we always define/determine
who we are – whether that ‘happens’ through our acceptance and allowance or
whether it is self defined/created in awareness.
The latter is obviously preferable,
and is what I’m talking about when it comes to things like self-realization,
awakening, etc.
So, the fear of other
people seeing self as ‘not good enough’ can be directed by simply taking
self-responsibility and no-longer accepting or allowing self to define self
in/as reaction to “other people”; as well as by self-honestly living up to one’s
responsibilities and being in fact ‘good enough’ as in doing what needs to be
done, taking a stance to the best of one’s knowledge, understanding, and
ability in that moment.
See – sometimes we even
tend to go into an entire obsession/possession in our minds with fear, in fear
making ourselves in-fearior, through submitting to the energetic experience of
fear, contracting even more, participating in thoughts and internal
conversations in, so much so that the ‘fearful character’ becomes alive so to
speak. Then literally one’s fear as energy is becoming-alive – the Fearful
Character – and then in that moment (while self is taking a back seat and
allowing fear to ‘take over’) fear is ‘the one’ that acts out, that directs,
behaves, makes decisions, because – “I, ‘fear’, must survive, I must be right,
look how small I am, and what if I lose, what if I am not appreciated, oh no, I
need more control, let me think, I need more energy, let me think, yes I must
control it, but oh I’m so small, I must protect myself, I must keep myself
alive blablabla” (says the Fearful Character) – and then there’s all the physical
tension experiences and all the thoughts and beliefs that in one’s mind will
‘explain it all’ and ‘justify’ the fear to exist, so the self as ‘character’
can continue holding-onto and existing-as all those self-limiting ideas and
perceptions of/about self. Fascinating.
So then obviously one
requires to look also at self-beliefs of not being ‘good enough’ – this comes
with the realization that all judgments I project and expect/fear as coming
from “others”, I am actually already holding within myself/my mind – and to
look at where and how and not least WHY am I holding such beliefs and ideas ‘alive’
and within that keep myself limited?
All those ‘fears’ around not
being ‘good enough’ are interconnected, all have to do with ideas/beliefs of
‘value’ in polarity – seeking for ‘more value’/’superior value’ and fear of
having one’s value ‘devalued’/’degraded’ as in ‘inferior’.
But where is the value of
life as life?
I commit myself to stop
devaluing and degrading myself – to identify where/when/how I devalue/degrade
myself in my mind and also in my everyday living/participation, and to in those
moments practice Stopping this self-sabotage and moving my awareness from self-diminishment /self-limitation
– to the physical me here in awareness and self-support / constructive-living;
and practically within this
I Live self-worth as life, self-respect, self-honesty, where the value is
placed in life and living.
And when I support myself
to live my full potential, more and more releasing and letting go of the
limitations, and to live harmoniously and constructively with my environment
and relationships, I can then say that I am ‘good enough’ as a human being in
evolution, individual and collective.
In terms of re-defining
words, I see here an interesting ‘exercise’/‘exorcise’ that can be ‘enacted’,
lol, as follows:
Good
[charged with ‘positive
energy’ eg. patterns of seeking ‘acceptance’ / ‘validation’ / ‘appreciation’
etc.]
Enough
[stop – can’t take any more
– the cup is full]
>> Here I can then
see that it is possible and perhaps wise to completely let go of and exorcise
lol as in release ourselves from the idea/definition/term ‘good enough’!
For within this very expression
a limitation is entailed: nothing more is expected, which excludes the
possibility of anything more/new being possible – even though the possibility
may in fact exist and something more may be possible. Get my drift? How would
progress and evolution look like if it were just ‘good enough’ and not
extraordinarily magnificent, perfection to the detail?
Well, human consciousness
appears to be in the process of becoming an evolution in awareness, so let’s do
our best, within and without, individually and collectively.
In this context:
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