|ART by Damian Ledesma|
In my previous blog I referred to how we create Characters/Personalities based on the energetic addictions we form.
What do I mean by that?
We can see that a child born into this world has no mental experience such as moods, feelings and emotions, has no fears or desires – it is simply expressing itself within and as the physical and the only thing it requires is for its physical needs to be met: nourishment, warmth, comfort.
In the process of growing up (this is btw really a point to question: Do we really grow up or simply just grow old – and why?) children start forming ideas about themselves and the world based on the value-judgments they are exposed to; they begin to simulate the consciousness the adults approach them through, and thus slowly but surely begin to form themselves as consciousness, as characters in a game or a movie.
(I have in previous blog posts referred to how we see ourselves and each-other/the world as pictures in our mind, hardly ever really getting to know another, let alone ourselves)
A vital point to consider within the parenting process is the application of ‘love’ that is expressed through the polarity of ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’. Within this, what the parent is doing is imprinting onto the child the main energetic consciousness patterns of ‘fear’ and ‘desire’ based on the mental polarity-concept of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’. These imprints occur subconsciously / unconsciously through the parents’ application of ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’.
As a result, the child starts to FEEL a certain way about itself and its world, and this FEELING is bipolar in nature: the child will have feelings (‘positive’) and emotions (‘negative’) according to variables of ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’ – and will slowly but surely start manipulating its reality, and itself within its mind, to get to those ‘feelings’ and ‘possessions’ of ‘reward’ that make it feel most ‘superior’.
This is the first layer of addiction creation – and simultaneously the first layer of character building as personality, or even as different personalities aimed at ‘validating’ the main personality the child identifies with, as what it sees itself as in the context of its environment.
In other words, this is how EGO starts being formed.
That EGO, in order to preserve itself and ‘validate’ its ‘right’ to life, will create certain addictions to certain feelings, and will start moulding its physical interaction in its world so that it is able to satisfy those energetic addictions. Furthermore it will adopt the ‘fuzzy logic’ presented to it by its parents as they justify their decisions and will use it to, in its own mind, form the ‘reasons’ and ‘justifications’ for becoming and embodying a certain character/personality with all the behaviour that goes with it.
Such energetic addictions may be addictions to ‘positive’ feelings or to ‘negative’ emotions, and there is really not much difference as to the consequences. Because in both cases what happens is that a child starts creating the Characters with which it will participate in the world system, and whatever the Characters are ("the perfectionist", "the victim", "the philosopher", "the observer", "the loner", "the hippie", "the moaner", "the whiner", "the bully", "the pleaser" – you name it) : they will essentially contribute to keeping the system running and perpetuating the power-games we exist through, within and without.
What is interesting is that even ‘negative’ self-definitions as characters and personalities will be ‘defended’ by the EGO – because whatever personality/personalities one has formed, it is for the purpose of being self-righteous and ‘winning’ the power-game one has perceived/ identified/ created/ accepted/ adopted in the mind.
So even "the victim" or "the pleaser" in fact exists within and as EGO, because it is but a character in a power-game where others are manipulated or blamed or made responsible for one’s own experience, with no human being ever really truly considering one’s own role within the creation and perpetuation of the power-games, the abuse, deception and inequality we accept and allow our existence to be based on.
So we are not just talking ‘energetic addictions’ here, but gravely also about ‘mind possessions’. (See local news and the website Demonology for various psycho incidents of mind possession.)
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to energy – wherein, regardless of whether I ‘feel good’ or ‘feel bad’ I would fight for my ‘right’ to ‘feel’ how I feel because I have defined myself through that experience; not realizing that how I ‘feel’ is a result of equations of polarity as concepts of ‘inferiority’ and ‘superiority’ and ‘reward’ and ‘punishment’, and that every character we create ourselves to be will always fight for its ‘right’ to be ‘right’, and thus we end up in self-righteousness within a human race for SURVIVAL, in spite of the fact that the Earth provides more than enough resources for All to be equally LIVING in dignity and respect as life.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself and my decisions to be driven, directed and determined by Energy as the ‘fuzzy logic’ and ‘experience’ of ‘moods’ based on the conditioned characters activated through triggers to play a role in the game called life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that each personality, each character we form and embody: has their OWN agenda, their OWN self-interest, their OWN energetic addictions; it wants to ‘feel’ this way or that way, it wants to ‘get there’ or ‘become that’, it wants to be ‘accepted’ and ‘validated’, it wants its Ego to be caressed and it wants to be right.
Is it then a wonder that we exist DIVIDED within ourselves with multiple personalities /character, not even able to make clear decisions that benefit life as who we really are?
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that each Character as personality we form and embody has its own energetic addictions and will thus dictate feelings and emotions and thoughts in such a way to get the energetic ‘reward’ that will ‘validate’ its existence as ‘rightful’.
I commit myself to showing the urgency of the necessity to piece ourselves back together and make sure we purify and dignify each part of ourselves, stop the addictions of each part of ourselves, unite each part of ourselves as ONE and stand stable as a self-willed individual in self-equality that is whole and trustworthy.
I commit myself to showing that real trustworthiness is something each must prove to oneself – by the self-will and self-commitment it takes to bring all parts of self HERE as ONE and make sure all parts are EQUALLY given attention and directed to amalgamate as Living Words that ensure the dignity and freedom of LIFE, as all as one as equals.
|ART by Damian Ledesma|
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we have been consuming ourselves, our children and our home planet in the name of ENERGY as the momentary rush for/of ‘MORE’, and that within that we’ve abdicated our value as life as oneness and equality for fake ‘values’ created through and as the mind, as energy;
and that every Character that is formed as a personality in this world: has particular energetic addictions – and that it is the nature of our addictions to energy that determines and ‘evolves’ the characters and personalities we will embody in this world just to get our ‘high’ on energy, yet in essence we in fact exist in the FEAR of not getting it, fear of losing it, or fear of others having ‘more’ /being ‘better’ /getting ‘higher’.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that the starting-point of our existence is and has been: FEAR – which is what we use to ‘justify’ our separation, our constant competition as the ‘human race’, our world systems as survival mechanisms, our money-system which we base on ‘scarcity’ and polarity...
And that therefore we have in fact subjected ourselves as human beings and humanity collectively: to FEAR as our directive-principle, as that which drives us; and possessed by fear, we exist in the anxiety of losing our possessions and that which we think we OWN or have the right to, in spite of the fact that we can obviously take nothing of all that with us at death and yet we spend a lifetime ‘protecting’ our OWN while we turn our backs on LIFE and let the world suffer in the name of OUR self-interest.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that our individual addiction to Energy: is equal to our collective addiction to the Money-System to which we submit our world to;
and that just like in our power-games of energy as characters there can only be ‘winners’ if there are ‘losers’: we have constructed the Money-System of our world to function based on ‘winning’ and ‘losing’, in spite of the fact that ‘losing’ means to suffer and starve while no one really cares, as everyone ever only cares about self-interest /profit.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we manifest the world system in our image and likeness;
and that we impose the same polarity RULES we base our individual and interpersonal on (the hierarchic polarity of the mental concepts of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ and our accepted fear, separation and thus perceived ‘lack’ from the starting-point of which we always only strive for ‘more’ thus manifesting deception and greed) onto our world and enslave everyone into a system where money is apparently ‘scarce’ and where resources are exploited for profit and are not made available to all equally out of fear, greed, self-interest.
I commit myself to showing that just like the concepts of ‘superiority’ and ‘inferiority’ are mental concepts of a consciousness that exists in fear and self-interest in separation from life: so our Money-System too, where Money is but a mental concept with no real value, yet given the ‘value’ of survival and the power to dictate life on Earth, dividing and conquering living beings and exploiting life in the name of Profit.
I commit myself to bringing forth and establishing an equal money system: where money is given the value of life and is made equally available to all, along with equal rights, equal access, equal participation, equal power for ALL LIFE – so that we may establish actual life-support on earth and get to actual evolution as mankind, as humanity.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed a world, a society, where we human beings exist like characters in a game –
refusing to see that all characters as personalities exist for personal PROFIT, formed to manipulate existence to their OWN benefit regardless the cost and regardless how many are placed in disadvantage for one’s OWN benefit.
I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to exist through and as energy – where I have defined my value based on how I ‘feel’, in spite of the fact that how we ‘feel’ is determined by the conditioned patterns of our thoughts in the mind which we don’t even understand how or why they emerge.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that all automatic movement within self (whether thoughts, back-chat, moods, feelings or emotions) are the result of conditioning and in no way reflect the actuality of reality but only the accepted MENTAL state of the individual and the CHARACTER the individual is accessing through self-definition in terms of ‘superiority’/’inferiority’.
I commit myself to showing that ‘human nature’ is the result of a preprogrammed design, and that understanding the design enables us to de-program and re-program ourselves in self-will, self-honesty, self-dignity, based on self-realization as life in equality and oneness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see, realize and understand that we have become addicted to energy in our quest for ‘value’ and ‘worth’ through our application of ‘Mining for ‘More’ to be ‘Mine’ –
because we have abdicated our self-worth that should be our value as life, and have created instead mental concepts of ‘value’ that in no way reflect our oneness and equality as Earthlings, as beings of the Earth under the same Sun sharing the same Water, Air, and Ground and should thus in common sense have one common interest: LIFE.
I commit myself to investigating and showing the various ways of our addiction to energy, and that we are in fact depleting ourselves, our children and our Earth in the name of energy which is but a momentary ‘rush’ of the mind, while the physical is in constant agony and pain; yet we have separated ourselves to such an extent from ourselves as a physical existence, that we do NOT feel the pain we inflict to our own physical body, to the body of the earth, to the millions that exist in hunger, poverty, starvation, famine, war.
I commit myself to showing that all war on Earth is a war for energy – be it for Oil and Money or for ‘Love’ and ‘Light’, ‘Religion’ and ‘Honor’ = all mental concepts ‘valued’ for some insane reason as ‘more than’ LIFE itself.
I commit myself to exposing the fraud of the current money-system as well as the fraud of religions in this world – as both institutions use the same promises, the same punishment and reward methods, the same concepts of debt/sin, forgiveness and salvation, while in NO WAY giving the individual actual free will, actual freedom, actual choice, and actual responsibility.
I commit myself to showing that actual self-responsibility entails self-honesty, self-forgiveness, self-directive, and the self-realization of oneness and equality as LIFE HERE, as ALL that is Here on this One planet.
I commit myself to showing that our addiction to energy exists only because we accept and allow it; it exists only because we submit to FEAR and refuse to let go of the fake ‘values’ we have defined ourselves through, in spite of seeing that what we exist as is as fake as Hollywood.
I commit myself to showing that it will take self-commitment and actual Love as Life to stand-up and Stop our self-abuse, Stop the self-sabotage and self-deception, Stop the endless cycles of ups and downs that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be subjected to –
to really actually and in fact start CARING for LIFE as who we really are, to really actually and in fact start DIGNIFYING ourselves and our existence – because the way we currently exist individually and collectively is absolutely programmed to spiral into self-destruction, unless we STOP.
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